makena43 said:
I agree maybe my tharpist can answer it. I just want to know if I am a masochist and am I trying to get rid of something that will go away.I do agree my diaper lover side will never die. So in the end maybe I am making. Myself feel bad because. You can't get rid of being a masochist
Labels are labels we don't normally all fit into the same box and not all boxes with labels are what we are.
There are so many shades of grey I feel were a mix like summer 80% DL some are 10% adult babys there's no set what you are what you need to be.
We all have certain degrees of tendencies.
I feel some of the embarrassment or humiliation comes from childhood possibly where are you were shamed and wearing diapers or parents did such things to get you to stop wetting the bed or wetting their pants.
I've heard told that the same endorphins are generated on Pleasure or pain at least I've read that somewhere.
So for some it was a way of getting attention any type of attention and as we know children crave attention whether negative or positive.
So I can understand the humiliation and shaming.
We all experience different things growing up I still remember being forced into diapers and that was a fantasy of mine for a long time because that was the pattern that was burned into my being.
And I am no way a masochist I don't want to experience painter or hurting anyone or myself.
But there are some things that I do fantasize about like having an accident then being forced back into Pampers.
I did experience some teasing as a kid being told I better run home and get my baby bonnet on.
Your mommie take care of the baby.
So sometimes that can manifest into a fantasy even though it wasn't pleasant at the time you're reliving a part of what was going on when you were a kid.
It doesn't make me a masochist it's just one facet of what a part of me as you have many facets about what you are.
As some boys were forced to wear little girl dresses and diapers and so they really have that part of it they're sissies.
Not meant in the negative way it's just what they experienced.
When I was put back into diapers at first time I had feelings of something I missed it felt so good to me kind of being taken care of.
But then the shame came in me being an older kid in diapers so I hit I was ashamed.
But it triggered in me I wanted to be a baby from that point on love taking care of cuddled.
We all came to this from different roads we may have by different experiences or even similar experiences but we are all individuals.
The trick is accepting yourself knowing this is how we are.
And understand the big thing is we change as we go along we get different likes and dislikes some may try on a dress and then they like dresses.Some may try panties and then they enjoy panties we are all different.
There is no right or wrong you you're just you as we all are we may be similar but we're still our own individuals.
So take care try not to analyze this so much I've spent 52 years trying to figure out what happened and I've come to realize it doesn't matter.
It just happened.