makena43 said:
So sometime in my childhood something triggered my need for shame actions and self talk to occur just need to find what it was?
You may not remember what was your event that triggered you.
Some here don't know why they love diapers just that they do.
Mabey some history what do you remember from your past growing up .
The feelings you had.
I know my triggers just because it was an event that had such a impact on me at the time not all do.
As far as shaming yes for some we relive the events that shaped us.
I replay in my mind being caught with wet pants and it being forced back into the house and put into diapers.
Some ab/dl do fantasize things look at the adult baby stories they all seem to have similar themes.
Some in the diapers were put into diapers and then made to wear little girl dresses so now they act that out.
There's so many different variations of what we are because we're so new unique as individuals.
The big thing is accepting yourself for who you are if you're not hurting anyone then what's the harm.
The human mind is so fascinating we found unique ways to cope and find comfort even though it's not the norm.
But then what's the norm.
Not all parents are perfect they do make mistakes even though they're trying to do the best they can it was not intentional for some.
I was in the store once and I saw Dad dragging a kid through the Walmart with wet pants I felt so sorry for the kid because I remember you know those type of things.
Now of course the dad was extremely frustrated but see I used to have accidents all the time so I had compassion for the kid I'm sad I didn't say something.
But that will that kid will remember it.
Another time I was in the restroom at Walmart and the dad was kid had an accident and he was upset and I did say something.
I explained to him as I was a young child I had accidents I couldn't help it and that no kid really wants to wet his pants.
The reason I said anything was to help him see it from Another Side not just from his side.
I dont focus what should it could have been done because it's a mute point what happened happened.
Just know that some parents don't intentionally try to do something they're trying to solve a problem they're having my mom was.
It's just my brain bucket of mush up there had to Unique way of dealing with what happen lol.
Do I blame her no in her case she made the best decision she could at the time.
The big thing was my mom was never touchy-feely No hugs so much that I can remember and I grew up in a time where you had to be a man.
You had to be tough. The thing is I'm pretty much a dove very kind-hearted I wasn't that tough robust person even though my dad wanted me to be.
And yes my dad you could say was abusive in some ways
I remember picking myself up off the floor and not knowing what I did after being slapped.
A big traumatic event happened when my dad was called the school I had an accident and he spanked me in front of the principal for something I couldn't help.
And I do understand that some parents are just monsters and some people have been through a lot.
I really feel sorry for those because the hell I went through in school I probably have some traumatic stress and stuff from all that.
It certainly affected my self-esteem.
For years the things that I was told play in my head and sometimes we believe those things we're not good enough will never achieve anything.
We're losers not always the case but it still has an effect on us and those tapes play in our head and we get to believe those things and it can be a stumbling block.
If you ever need to talk you can pm .