Should I be more open with my mom?

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BabyTyrant

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Or should I just keep going basically as if it's a don't ask don't tell sort of thing (hoping you know what I mean, otherwise you can look it up, I would explain, but I don't know if that would be breaking any rules).

Just for a quick idea of my situation, I'm living at home with my mom and younger brother, my mom does know I wear and use diapers, but seems stumped on the why (sometimes if she knows I am wearing she asks why (probably because sometimes I don't wear enough layers that my Space Penguin Onesie sometimes may show underneath my shirt if I move the wrong way), but I feel stumped as to what to say); idk whether to just continue without explaining my ABDL side

Or if I should actually explain it.

I mean I'm not in any danger of getting kicked out, especially as I pay money towards bills, I'm just asking you guys to see what you think.

I don't wish to express my ABDL side in a more obvious manner or ask for money or participation or anything like that.
 
Huh, this is a rare one. The vast, vast majority of people I've seen who have parents that know end up in an uncomfortable and awkward silence where everyone tries to pretend that diapers don't exist at all and nobody feels comfortable talking about it. Actually having someone ask you why is kind of refreshing, from my perspective as an advice giver.

Anyway, that doesn't help you much, so let me see if I can help. First off, do you have an answer? Like, not for her, but if you were to talk here on the forums, what would your answer be? "I just like them" is perfectly fine. Sometimes you can get more detailed than that, like saying that they feel more comfortable for you than regular underwear, or saying that the feeling of wearing and using one brings you joy, even though you don't really know why. You can speculate, if you want, a lot of us think it's some variation of imprinting from a young age for those who have wanted diapers all their lives, but there's no good studies that back it up so it's just guessing. But if you've got a reason, or at least an explanation of why you like it, maybe going into a little bit of detail about that would help her understand. Even if it's just "I don't really know, but it feels nice and comfortable for me."

Another tack is that you can explore why she's asking. This has to be done a little more carefully so it doesn't sound like you're accusing her. For example, you could say something like "I've heard you ask why a couple times. It's not a question I really have a great answer to. Is it something you'd like to sit down and discuss and see if we can come up with some ideas so that we both understand it better?" And then maybe you get a yes and you can plan to sit down together somewhere quiet and think together. Or maybe she says no, she was just curious.

Regardless of what you say, I see the fact that she's asking as a really good sign and maybe if you can build that into a conversation, the two of you can strengthen your relationship.
 
Just tell her you've been having problems with anxiety and your bladder acts up because of it and that you wear diapers to handle it. I mean, that's easier than trying to explain ABness to someone.
 
OaktownBaby said:
Just tell her you've been having problems with anxiety and your bladder acts up because of it and that you wear diapers to handle it. I mean, that's easier than trying to explain ABness to someone.

No, please don't do that. she already knows and the situation is comfortable, there's absolutely no reason to lie to her.
 
I'm pretty sure she is just asking out of curiosity because I've been at this for a while (on and off since about 13), and maybe she has some concern on why I would need them at my age.

Not that I actually do need them (from a medical aspect); but hey it's better than the self destructive ways I have handled stress before right?)

I mean I have self harmed before (a lot at one point); almost got hospitalized twice, and there's a number of times I was just reckless between binge drinking and taking medications because I sometimes get way too stressed at my job (They seem to think everybody should work like a slave for minimum wage; no raise since 2016, and the best they can do is "thank you" if you meet their production expectations; shifting the blame to employees if they get behind on sales for the year; and I came so close to losing control on a harsh supervisor that liked to yell at the best workers and talk too much with the lazy workers).

Im.in a much better spot now, but I'm still at the same job for a little while longer (Don't want to go to a new job before I can take a vacation)
 
ArchieRoni said:
No, please don't do that. she already knows and the situation is comfortable, there's absolutely no reason to lie to her.

"Medical" could encompass a great many things. Including psychologically, I'd say. If the OP gets comfort and joy out of using them that he (or she, I guess women can be tyrants too) couldn't find with some other outlet, and the diapers brightened his day up and helped him deal with the stresses of every day life, I'd say that could be considered medical.

I apologize, though, for not being more clear. I'm not suggesting he go and tell her "Mom, I'm incontinent and I need diapers." No. That would lead to more problems than it was worth. No, but if its a mental health issue, then I think it's medical related.

Just my 2 cents. I'm taking a law class and I feel the urge constantly to argue semantics.
 
OaktownBaby said:
"Medical" could encompass a great many things. Including psychologically, I'd say. If the OP gets comfort and joy out of using them that he (or she, I guess women can be tyrants too) couldn't find with some other outlet, and the diapers brightened his day up and helped him deal with the stresses of every day life, I'd say that could be considered medical.

I apologize, though, for not being more clear. I'm not suggesting he go and tell her "Mom, I'm incontinent and I need diapers." No. That would lead to more problems than it was worth. No, but if its a mental health issue, then I think it's medical related.

Just my 2 cents. I'm taking a law class and I feel the urge constantly to argue semantics.

Well i suppose thats an interesting point, will i self harm or feel like killing myself if i dont get to indulge my ABDL side?

Definitely not, but I'm also pretty comfortable as an ABDL and recognize it's better than how I would deal with stress when I indulged my ABDL side less.
 
BabyTyrant said:
Well i suppose thats an interesting point, will i self harm or feel like killing myself if i dont get to indulge my ABDL side?

Definitely not, but I'm also pretty comfortable as an ABDL and recognize it's better than how I would deal with stress when I indulged my ABDL side less.
IDK. Sounds like you were in a dark spot at one point...so they probably have helped you somewhat at least. I'm just throwing out ideas.

It's a harmless way to handle stress IMO. Better than smoking crack or something like that, I suppose.
 
OaktownBaby said:
Yes. It's a harmless way to handle stress IMO. Better than smoking crack or something like that, I suppose

Odd you should mention that as I've had to deal with an older brother that has been a druggie for over half his life

Since he was 15 (about 17 years ago) he has been into drugs and using family to get drugs as much as possible; stealing anything and pretty much everything of any value to pawn off or give to a drug dealer to chase that next high.

Growing up was always very uncomfortable to say the least as my family gave him chance after chance (probably hundreds if not thousands of chances) to straighten up, and the best he would do is seem to do better just until you let your guard down and then next thing you know he would steal everything of value.

I guess the things I enjoy about being an ABDL is just feeling amazing and also maybe part of it is having control when I had no control over anything growing up and was always stressed out because my older brother being like that always made things tense and stressful (my parents would re-buy things he had stole but it was still stressful)

I even Self Harmed in one aspect as far back as middle school (though at the time I wasn't as knowledgeable about it meaning that I had significant problems and needed to seek help)
 
Then that is what you say to her, that you find them comforting and a calming influence, saving you from continued self-harming when you get stressed.
 
I believe that the reason there are comparatively few female ABs and DLs is because women are, from early childhood, conditioned to a very pragmatic view of diapers.

Since boys typically do not play with baby dolls, some of us grow up with an unusual 'attraction' to diapers and baby things. That's not the entire explanation, of course, but merely a contrast between how male ABs, DLs and most women view diapers and being diapered.

Your mom will likely not understand how diapers can be a 'comforting and calming influence.' To her, diapers are probably a very utilitarian thing ... not something that can give comfort and tranquility.

I don't have any better ideas, but if you do try to explain this to her, be prepared for a rather blank stare. My guess is that she just won't 'get' it.
 
I first wore adult diapers for medical reasons. Now, that my injuries healed, I guess I got used to them, and I prefer them. It bothered me at first when people found out. Then I realized that my choice of underwear. That's all it a choice of underwear Just like boxers, briefs, thongs or commando. Its not usually sexual, but it can be just like my gal wearing sexy undies for me, I'll wear cute nappies for her.
Back to friends and family. We had the conversations about all the why's and how's long ago. And, when new friends find out, I just blow it of with, "What kind of underwear do you wear?" I don't think it should be ignored, However it should not be given a second thought. I don't lie, but I do not advertise.
Though, it does make me feel sexy like wearing tight jeans that show panty lines.
 
Given your mom already knows, and is obviously ok enough with you wearing them, I don't see the harm in telling her.

You're right she is probably asking out of curiosity and wants to understand, or otherwise make sure there's no need for your physical concern.

Just do your research first, and try to fully understand what diapers mean to you first. The idea of writing a letter to gather your thoughts seems to be a good idea for this.
 
It helps with stress growing up it was hard dealing with what happened with my older brother.
School was hard too.
But the love and caring you gave me when I was little brings back how great of a mom you are.
Being a little makes me happy inside something that I have had since I was a toddler.
It helps me cope with stress of life.
I'm so glad you gave me the love you did it gives me something to use in stead of what my brother used for his stress.
It may not be the norm but it's how I'm wired.

I hope this may help you.

- - - Updated - - -

BabyTyrant said:
Or should I just keep going basically as if it's a don't ask don't tell sort of thing (hoping you know what I mean, otherwise you can look it up, I would explain, but I don't know if that would be breaking any rules).

Just for a quick idea of my situation, I'm living at home with my mom and younger brother, my mom does know I wear and use diapers, but seems stumped on the why (sometimes if she knows I am wearing she asks why (probably because sometimes I don't wear enough layers that my Space Penguin Onesie sometimes may show underneath my shirt if I move the wrong way), but I feel stumped as to what to say); idk whether to just continue without explaining my ABDL side

Or if I should actually explain it.

I mean I'm not in any danger of getting kicked out, especially as I pay money towards bills, I'm just asking you guys to see what you think.

I don't wish to express my ABDL side in a more obvious manner or ask for money or participation or anything like that.

I'm glad you're mom is a good one
 
i have not been asked, but if i was i would say: "because they feel nice and make me feel good, why do you ask?"
and the why do you ask part would be said in a calm and neutral voice.
 
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