Writing a letter to my parents about diapers

Status
Not open for further replies.
ThePhotographer

ThePhotographer

Est. Contributor
Messages
521
Role
  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Diaperfur
So I’m working on a email I’m going to send to my mom telling her I’m a diaper lover. I know most of you are shouting not to or it’s not her business but I do have my reasons being I see more positives coming from telling her than not.
In the letter I covered how much I trust her, what a diaper lover is, why I’m telling her, and covered a few questions she may have. The letter still needs work but overall it’s about me just wanting acceptance.
I’m doing a letter format so she has time to process what it says before coming to me. Let me know if you think there is more I could add like useful links about diaper lovers or anything else. I can also post what the email is like so far if you guys want to see it.
 
It's impossible to tell you what you should add to the letter since the letter isn't included. I'm not sure which is the better approach, letter or face to face as the first encounter. The letter has advantages in that you can spend a lot of time being complete in terms of what you want to say. Obviously, the letter will lead to an almost immediate face to face conversation. The letter may give your mom time to look up AB/DL on the internet and so you will have to deal with whatever she may find.

I suppose you want to divulge this so you can wear diapers in your room or in the house and not have to worry about getting discovered? This is okay if you feel confident that you have the kind of mother who will be accepting. Some mothers from members on this site have. Mine sent me to see a psychiatrist, but I had other problems at the time as well. I've seen this topic come up so many times on this site that I'm not going to talk you out of it. You know your mom and you know what you hope to accomplish. I do hope it goes well for you should you go through with this.
 
You maybe right about her not needing to know. I’ll just hold onto the letter. My desire to wear is not that strong to possibly drive a wedge between me and my parents. After reading some other posts it seems like not telling us better.
 
ThePhotographer said:
I’ll just hold onto the letter.
Click to expand...

This is wise. It is often helpful to write the letter and express your feelings. It is rarely helpful to send it.
 
Yah I think the letter I wrote became more of a exspression of my feelings more than something I would send. I still wish one day I could just wear something nice like a abena a sleep in it without anybody caring. Maybe I’ll live that fantasy after college
 
I'm in agreement that writing the letter but not sending it is a good idea. I did that myself around the tail end of middle school, and I'm still greateful to this day that I never gave my mom the letter I wrote.
As for living the dream of sleeping in just a diaper without worry, the chances of that happening are higher if you can manage to wait until at least college without telling your parents. As I'm sure you've read up on by now, they usually will try to intervene. I believe most of the time they're just trying to help, but it's rare they'd just leave the issue be to where you could achieve the aforementioned goal.
I don't know what your college plans are, but it's very possible that during your time there you'll have an opportunity to explore more freely and in depth your DL related feelings and stuff.
Hope that helps!
 
Only you can determine if you are close enough to your mom to send it. A LOT here were betrayed and hurt by their parents overreacting and mishandling our need for diapers, so their warnings could be valid.

I believe even just having it on hand is a great idea. When you do get caught, you can quickly reference it. Though it may be beneficial to head off her stumbling across your stash in the first place.

Of note, I also believe it is more beneficial to be there with her when she reads it. This way you can help direct or react to any emotional reactions or questions she will have.
 
Thanks for all the advice, I have decided to play it safe and hold onto the letter. I don’t know how she would react so I’m going to just enjoy diapers secretly. So what comes next is me making a run out to Walgreens and stock up on supplies since I now accept this side of me. Thanks again for for the comments, you probably saved me from a really awkward talk.
(I would ask about what to do in college but that’s for a different topic)
 
ThePhotographer said:
Thanks for all the advice, I have decided to play it safe and hold onto the letter. I don’t know how she would react so I’m going to just enjoy diapers secretly. So what comes next is me making a run out to Walgreens and stock up on supplies since I now accept this side of me. Thanks again for for the comments, you probably saved me from a really awkward talk.
(I would ask about what to do in college but that’s for a different topic)
Click to expand...

Well.... Actually you may have only delayed that talk. With increased wearing, the likelihood of her still coming across them is going to be pretty high. Except when (not if) she does realize it, she won't have that letter and very well may come to her own misconclusions.

Talking to her now WILL be akward, but her talking to you later could be disasteros.

Ps. College is a time to experiment and for new beginings. Day one you should come out to your room mate (you probably won't be able to hide it anyways). Or if it's an option, mention your need for diapers to admissions. They can make sure you're set up with a roomate who at least won't care.
 
I don’t know if any of you have been in the position I’m in, but what going through my mind is hard. I see both side of the argument that it may make things worse to tell her, but it also be better to tell her than let her find out on her own. I want to be who I am but it’s so hard to do so because she a stay at home parent. I’m stuck in a hard place and with 6 months left before I’m cramed into a small 2 person dorm I’m running low on time. I feel sure she would accept me but I’ll never know unless I tell her and I’m afraid of being wrong.

Sorry if that sounds like a rant but this is what has gone through my head since I started this thread. I should also point out there is a chance they already know because when I was younger I did not understand search history, and one time I believe I heard her whisper to my dad while he was cleaning the trash can with a hose about stuff that got stuck to the inside and I swear she said a diaper.

Bottom line is I’m going to just stir on what I know, and hopefully make a decision on what to do thanks for all the help. Sorry if I’m annoying I’m bad at communicating feelings and thoughts.
 
Last edited:
ThePhotographer said:
I don’t know if any of you have been in the position I’m in, but what going through my mind is hard. I see both side of the argument that it may make things worse to tell her, but it also be better to tell her than let her find out on her own. I want to be who I am but it’s so hard to do so because she a stay at home parent. I’m stuck in a hard place and with 6 months left before I’m cramed into a small 2 person dorm I’m running low on time. I feel sure she would accept me but I’ll never know unless I tell her and I’m afraid of being wrong.

Sorry if that sounds like a rant but this is what has gone through my head since I started this thread. I should also point out there is a chance they already know because when I was younger I did not understand search history, and one time I believe I heard her whisper to my dad while he was cleaning the trash can with a hose about stuff that got stuck to the inside and I swear she said a diaper.

Bottom line is I’m going to just stir on what I know, and hopefully make a decision on what to do thanks for all the help. Sorry if I’m annoying I’m bad at communicating feelings and thoughts.
Click to expand...

You're not being annoying, don't worry about it! We're here to listen and help, so vocalizing (well typing) what your thinking can help us help you.
And I'm no good at communicating feelings and thoughts either, so I can understand the struggle. Especially in regards to ABDL stuff.
It's not an easy decision to make, so definitely take time thinking about it, but if it helps, don't think about college as a time you won't have any access at all to diapers, even in a small 2 person dorm. There'll be times you're in there totally alone. Your roommate may have a different class schedule, or they'll go home for a weekend that you don't; these are fairly common things to deal with regarding a roommate, so your chances of having openings to explore and wear in private are higher than you may think (not to sugar coat it though, it'll still be difficult)
 
What you're feeling is perfectly normal (for us). And yeah it can be hard.

Ask yourself, these. How open minded is your mom? How close to her are you? Can you see any benefit- to her- if you tell her? How likely is she to stumble across a diaper or notice you wearing one? Is she likely to come to a misconclusion if you don't tell her first? Will not telling her bring or make worse any undo burden or stress to you, or can you hold out for now?

Once you answer these questions you should have a good idea whether or not to tell her.
 
So that awkward talk may happen tonight and it’s not me that brought up wanting to talk. My parents have noticed that been acting a little depressed since mid January (the last time I purged). They want to know if everything is ok. I told them it’s nothing important and that it’s just something personal that they don’t know or have to worry about. After letting me know some other news they said we will talk tonight. This all happened over text, so I don’t know what to expect, they probably think it’s the I’m gay (I’m not) talk, so I don’t know what to exspect from tonight. I’m currently working on the letter and planning escape bag in case the accepting parents I though I knew don’t exists.
My plan is to give them the letter then go outside to relax and wait for them to come to me with a decision.
Or this may not happen at all and they could forget about wanting to talk.
 
ThePhotographer said:
So that awkward talk may happen tonight and it’s not me that brought up wanting to talk. My parents have noticed that been acting a little depressed since mid January (the last time I purged). They want to know if everything is ok. I told them it’s nothing important and that it’s just something personal that they don’t know or have to worry about. After letting me know some other news they said we will talk tonight. This all happened over text, so I don’t know what to expect, they probably think it’s the I’m gay (I’m not) talk, so I don’t know what to exspect from tonight. I’m currently working on the letter and planning escape bag in case the accepting parents I though I knew don’t exists.
My plan is to give them the letter then go outside to relax and wait for them to come to me with a decision.
Or this may not happen at all and they could forget about wanting to talk.
Click to expand...

Well that's one way of starting the conversation.

"Mom dad you can rest assure I'm not gay or suicidal. I'm just part of this small community that is greatly misunderstood and often wrongly ostracized. That's why I didn't want to say this, but.... I'm abdl. Here, I've already written this letter for you to explain it"
 
I understand why you feel the need to express your interest but would you want to know your mom's kinks? And if you are depressed please get help as you don't want to let that simmer.
 
Well they completely forgot about having a talk. Letters done and it’s on hand if I need it. Don’t worry about me being depressed it seems all I needed was to play some fallout 4. I’m going to try and hold out until college before I try any nice thick diapers. For now I’ll stick to my modified certainty briefs.
 
Last edited:
Ok so I just had the talk with my dad. He says he totally fine with it and knows about it for awhile. He said he did not care as long as my mom never found out. I feel a lot better now that I know he still accepts me. But he thinks this is more sexual than it is. It was to awkward for me to try and explain my feelings so I ended the conversation. The only issue I’m going to have is I’m not going to be able to get the nice diapers since I would need to order those online. He also said he does not want this to continue into college and hopes it fades out. So I’m still in situation of needing to get some but don’t have the time right now to do so.

It was also the most awkward conversation ever. I sort of want to curl up in a ball. Still happy he already knew, just wish I knew that before starting the conversation

Also I might just stick to my make shift diaper that I can easily hide to deal with my desire until a time later in college or after.
 
Last edited:
ThePoeticSkunk said:
I understand why you feel the need to express your interest but would you want to know your mom's kinks? And if you are depressed please get help as you don't want to let that simmer.
Click to expand...

Kinks and fetishes, never. Except you are mistaking the OP for having a kink. He has already stated he is dl, which is a compulsory part of who we are. Big difference.

- - - Updated - - -

ThePhotographer said:
Ok so I just had the talk with my dad. He says he totally fine with it and knows about it for awhile. He said he did not care as long as my mom never found out. I feel a lot better now that I know he still accepts me. But he thinks this is more sexual than it is. It was to awkward for me to try and explain my feelings so I ended the conversation. The only issue I’m going to have is I’m not going to be able to get the nice diapers since I would need to order those online. He also said he does not want this to continue into college and hopes it fades out. So I’m still in situation of needing to get some but don’t have the time right now to do so.

It was also the most awkward conversation ever. I sort of want to curl up in a ball. Still happy he already knew, just wish I knew that before starting the conversation

Also I might just stick to my make shift diaper that I can easily hide to deal with my desire until a time later in college or after.
Click to expand...

Lol, and you were more concerned about your dad figuring it out and just telling your mom instead. Though it sounds like he still doesn't understand what abdl even is. If you already had that talk with him then why didn't he read any of your letter? That was the whole point of you having it!

Ask him if him liking women ever faded out by his college. Or if he thinks being gay is something someone can just get over. Drive it home this is an integral part of who you are! It is not going to fade with time no matter how much you wish it would, or him for that matter.
 
Slomo said:
Kinks and fetishes, never. Except you are mistaking the OP for having a kink. He has already stated he is dl, which is a compulsory part of who we are. Big difference.

- - - Updated - - -



Lol, and you were more concerned about your dad figuring it out and just telling your mom instead. Though it sounds like he still doesn't understand what abdl even is. If you already had that talk with him then why didn't he read any of your letter? That was the whole point of you having it!

Ask him if him liking women ever faded out by his college. Or if he thinks being gay is something someone can just get over. Drive it home this is an integral part of who you are! It is not going to fade with time no matter how much you wish it would, or him for that matter.
Click to expand...

I’m not going to go any further with the talk. It’s to awkward for me to and try to. Diapers are not that big of a thing on my life when I think about it. I think talking about it to my dad made my anxiety get higher. But I know what helps me and I’m going to do that to stay happy and avoid any other awkward “guy” talks with my dad.

Thanks to everyone who listened to what my feelings were through this roller coaster of emotions. This wanting to tell has been resolved.
 
Here's my two cents: I believe it has to do with identity vs. fetish.

If you believe you were "born this way," or were "made this way" by conditions beyond your control (really believe it) I might view "coming out" to your mom as coming out as gay, bi or trans. If it's more a lifestyle/fetish, then I'd keep it to myself (like, hopefully, you keep your sexual explorations to yourself, unless they are troubling or physically harmful to you or others). If this is your identity, then I can get behind coming out as harm reduction--all you might be looking for is support and acceptance and unconditional love. If it's a fetish, you're looking for permission, and you already have that since you're 18. And you can find support for that right here. Unless you aren't 18. In that case, we'll see you in a couple years. Hang in there!
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top