Here's my two cents: I believe it has to do with identity vs. fetish.
If you believe you were "born this way," or were "made this way" by conditions beyond your control (really believe it) I might view "coming out" to your mom as coming out as gay, bi or trans. If it's more a lifestyle/fetish, then I'd keep it to myself (like, hopefully, you keep your sexual explorations to yourself, unless they are troubling or physically harmful to you or others). If this is your identity, then I can get behind coming out as harm reduction--all you might be looking for is support and acceptance and unconditional love. If it's a fetish, you're looking for permission, and you already have that since you're 18. And you can find support for that right here. Unless you aren't 18. In that case, we'll see you in a couple years. Hang in there!
