Edit: I was going to edit some typos, but I accidentally deleted it so this is a repost of the original ^^;
There are a couple things I've noticed with regards to this observation. Not that this reflects my experience as a woman and an ABDL.
Firstly, I personally feel really out of place on sites like this. This is more than that there are a couple creepers that hit on you. Since the communities are male dominated, they tend to have a very masculine communication style. I.e. it tends to be more argument focused as opposed consensus focused. When I post about my life experiences or express myself, I have very little patience for my statements being analysed and logically scrutinized.
I mean, just even look at this sub-forum, or this thread even. This is supposed to be the forum for little girls, but most of the posts are men and sissies. Also, the content seems to be focused of cross-feminity as opposed to simple feminity. I.e. both sissies and little girls could enjoy a thread about cute stickers, but I wouldn't consider posting of it because compared to the other topics here, it would seem out of place.
Secondly, as pointed out by lilstevie56, women are far more common at actual events. I mean, I'm an event organizer in my local scene, and most of our littles are female. For whatever reason, this particular slice of the community seems strangely resistant to coming out to events. I don't really understand why. Honestly, I'd love to know because we're trying to make our events more hospitable for male ABDLs (right now our leadership is 3 little girls (yes really, that's just the leadership; there were actually more of us than you think)).
Thirdly, women just don't tend to fixate on diapers as much, where that send to be there primary focus of sites like this. I mean, even on this site I notice many of the women are more into the age play side of things rather than the diaper fetishistic side of it. I can only speculate as to why.
One of the theories I've been liking more and more is that it had to do with anatomical differences. I.e. having a penis makes diapers both more enjoyable and convenient. When I first heard this theory, I was appalled and insulted, however the more I interact with the community, the more this pattern seems reinforced.
Also, a lot of women come into this scene from a CGL land particularly a DDLG angle. I mean, I'm a pretty even split DDLG and ABDL, but that's not as common. You'll find DDLG spaces flooded with baby girls looking for Daddies. Diapers are brought up, but they're more of a side topic, and not everyone is into them. Most little girls I talk to who are into diapers do it mostly as a regression tactic. I.e. the diaper makes them (us) feel cuter and more little as opposed to the play being focused on the diaper itself.
Further, I notice many forums like this are particularly sex negative. Just a look at how many people here identify as asexual. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with being ace, I'm just saying it feels alienating to many DDLGs for whom this is sexual. It comes across as prudish even if that's not what's intended.
Finally, I personally tend not to date ABDL men. This is primarily because there's a strong trend of such men's interest in my is uniquely that I'm a diaper girl. I can't build a relationship on just a fetish. There is so much more to me than just ABDL, but I find many ABDL men fixate on that. I end up feeling like a doll for him to diaper rather than a human in a relationship. This attitude pervades the community even if it's not true of you personally, and it quickly becomes tiresome.
To summarize:
- I personally feel out of place in forums like this.
- Women are common, just not on this site.
- Diapers tend to be less of a focus for many women.
- Women tend to gravitate towards CGL communities rather than ABDL communities.
- I don't like being objectified.