Hi BabyLottie,
This is actually a very good question. As someone who currently has a Mommy and who has had a girlfriend who mothered me on occasion in the past, I'm happy to give you my take on the matter.
When I started out, I had it in the back of my head that my AB side was something that I had to explore with myself. At that time, I was perfectly content to diaper up, regress and baby out on my own time. In fact, it is fair to note, that there are still days where I baby-out by myself. I always feel nurtured when being a baby alone, always safe and secure.
When my second girlfriend decided to indulge me, a switch went off in the back of my head, it was at that time I realized, I couldn't live without the pleasure, the joy and the unconditional acceptance that comes with being babied and cared for by someone else. Solitary baby time was always fun and relaxing and key in helping me to accept myself, but having someone to diaper you, change you, feed you and care for you takes things to a whole other level, it gives you a sense of confidence, normalcy and emotional fulfillment unlike anything else.
Try to see things from my perspective for a moment, my AB side has always been nonsexual, this is about feeling safe, cared for and emotionally fulfilled and my little age veers towards the young end of the spectrum, I tend to fluctuate between as young as a 5 month old to a year and a half tops when in baby mode. Due to the emotional slant to my AB side, coupled with the fact that when in baby-mode I am extremely young and needy so having someone who is not only accepting of this but who is willing to care for me in a way that assists me in being your true-blue baby self is both truly magical and I would argue, necessary to some extent.
As much as I enjoyed solo AB time, there were times when I was regressing on my own where I would dream of having someone to hold me and care for me, days when I felt like a lost little baby stuck in a cold and thankless adult world. Finding a girlfriend who played Mommy a few times and now having a Mommy friend who indulges this side of me when she can has not only made me feel a little more comfortable with this side of myself, but it has also made baby time a much more wholesome and rounded experience. Having a Mommy or at least an understanding partner helps to curb self-doubt as an AB as well.
So, to answer your question in absolutes, I guess having a Mommy and her attention is important to me and possibly to others thusly; it makes me feel that I am not entirely alone in this, it has helped me to realize that I can have normal, adult, romantic relationships whilst still having a special baby/mommy relationship as well, it makes my AB time much more fulfilling than usual and lastly, it fulfills the fantasy of being a baby in a way that is much more true to life than being a baby on my own could ever be, after all, most babies have a Mommy or someone who loves them unconditionally, someone who cares for them, with Mommy by my side, I feel like I have this and it's a beautiful thing to have
That being said, I wonder if my need of a Mommy or a participating partner is different from other AB's due to the fact that I am more of a nonsexual AB. I can see a sexual ABDL not caring about having a Mommy, because their play tends to be more about physical/sexual gratification and you can achieve that without needing a partner. Being a nonsexual AB, however, my baby side is much more emotional and it can be hard to have emotionally fulfilling experiences when alone, this is one of the reasons why I think most people crave human contact and affection, be it through friendship and camaraderie or romantic relationships. I'd also say that how you feel about this side of yourself also impacts the drive for a Mommy/caregiver. For instance, if you view ABDL as a fetish more than a way of life or a part of who you are, then I can understand wanting to keep these interests private and being unwilling to engage in ABDL with a partner.
Heck, I can even understand not wanting a Mommy because you just have so much fun being a baby on your own time, as I said, solo baby time is incredibly fun and fulfilling and integral towards accepting this side of yourself, but for some reason, having a Mommy just does something for me that solo baby-time never could, it brings a whole other dimension to baby time, it aids in full acceptance and it makes this fantasy feel more real and I know I'm not the only one who thinks this way.
That being said, if for some reason my relationship with Mommy doesn't last, I won't be discouraged, it won't put a damper on my AB time, I'll still regress on my own and I would still try to find that special someone. I guess what I'm trying to say is, while having a Mommy is a very necessary part of regression, acceptance and being an AB to me, it is not always the be all end all, if I stopped having one or didn't have one, I would still accept myself and be a baby whenever time allows.
I hope this helps
If you don't mind me asking, what is your take on having a caregiver and have you ever experienced this?
What is or what do you think would be the importance of caregiver/baby attention to you?