So... Am I Stuck With This

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DH19

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  1. Diaper Lover
I understand that those of you here are in favor of acceptance, but whether or not I accept my desire is for me to decide. I ask you, not whether or not I should accept it, but whether or not it is possible to destroy it. I’ve been a diaper lover for 20 months; I would be into it for about a week or half a week every month or so, but I would then get mad and destroy it. However, it would always come back. I may choose to accept my feelings, but I still want to know if there is a permanent solution. Is there a way to get rid of my fetish forever? If so, how? (I don’t think there is anything wrong with being an AB/DL, but I am not sure if it is something I want to be a part of my life)
 
Life fluctuates. Just wait it out and eventually it will take a back seat.
 
DH19 said:
I’ve been a diaper lover for 20 months

Pfftt, I've been into this for about 20 years. Chances are, so will you.

You can try all you want to suppress this. You might succeed for a while. But just wait until one day you see a diaper commercial on TV, or something else that triggers your desires again.

I can't understand why some people would want to make themselves suffer by trying to get rid of a harmless habit, instead of just learning to enjoy it for what it is.

If people have gone out and found a way to permanently break themselves of this, they haven't come back to tell us.
 
It's possible, other than seeking professional help You will find lots of opinions and conflicting info. Try to find something else to do that replaces your desire (we there it is, another opinion.)

Another suggestion, if you go through another cycle don't destroy your stash, donate it. It may give you a satisfying feeling of "your helping someone." Good luck whichever way you choose.
 
I quit for over a year and left ADISC during that time as well. The urge never goes away. I did other things during that time which kept it at bay but because of a surgery, I'm mostly ic now. So I decided to come back for support.

What you described is binge and purge. Most of us have done this. The ones that succeeded are probably not members anymore. You can try suppressing the urge. You just need to find another outlet: Movies, tv, reading, going to functions.. There's a lot of things you can do.

Good luck or give in!
 
I think you have to accept you will always have these feelings but how you deal with them is up to you. I slipped in to being DL after becoming incontinent but to be honest don't see it as a problem.
 
Can a gay person stop being gay? Can a transgendered person stop wanting to be the opposite sex? Can a dl stop loving diapers. The answer is all the same, no. None of us CHOOSE to become abdl, it's just a part of who we are.

Though I have recently heard of ONE person out of us all -in the past 20 years- who supposedly did manage to stop loving diapers. Oddly, the route it seems he took was to fully embrace and accept diapers first.

The bigger concern is do you even understand what diapers mean to you? You start off by saying you have a diaper love, then turn around and say you have a fetish. It can't be both, so which one is it?

From hearing SOOO many others (and going through it myself), the vast majority who hate being abdl are those who either don't understand it themselves, or have otherwise fallen for the misconceptions and misunderstandings that general society has placed on us. In both case, a little enlightening goes a long way to coping with this part of who you are.
 
Like Slomo, I think the first point to help yourself is to understand where you "fetish" comes from?
I read in your intro that it popped out while at universal. Why here and not before with your little sister having diapers at home anyway? You say you are not an Adult Baby but arent you sure that this trip at Universal woke up some childhood nostalgy? What does attract you specifically in diapers? Their cuteness, the fact they wrap your private parts to protect them? The fact that you can be free not having to stop your activity to go the toilets?
Think about what wearing or the idea of wearing diapers triggers? Sexual excitation? Pure comfort?

Go from there and find an alternative to feel the same thing you are looking for in diapers.

Also, it's true that you can go through something, only if you first fully accept and embrace it. Guilt, shame, confusion, ego issues are everything in the addictive attraction we may feel for something or someone.
 
There is a lit of negativity on this thread right now....

I hope I don't add to it.

Friend, you can choose what you want, I have for the most part chosen. I enjoy it for the security feeling it gives me day in and day out. It's kind of a peace of mind.

For you it may be different. I hope it's something you can identify easily. However you do need to identify it like others have said.

If you want it gone, you will probably need to replace it with something else. Whatever it is you should enjoy it. I replaced diapers for about 2 years with cycling. Diapers came back though after the newness wore off of cycling. Now I'm padded and cycling lol. Kinda feels good on cool days.

Either way keep your head up. If you get down on yourself you'll only need that relief more often. Keep the belief you'll succeed whatever you choose.

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I don’t remember hearing of anyone that has gone permanently to the other side and come back here to talk about it.

A couple of things:

I accept you for who you are and hope you find a balance past the dreaded binge/purge.

I hope you don’t let suppressing your desires spoil your life.
 
BabyLottie said:
Like Slomo, I think the first point to help yourself is to understand where you "fetish" comes from?
I read in your intro that it popped out while at universal. Why here and not before with your little sister having diapers at home anyway? You say you are not an Adult Baby but arent you sure that this trip at Universal woke up some childhood nostalgy? What does attract you specifically in diapers? Their cuteness, the fact they wrap your private parts to protect them? The fact that you can be free not having to stop your activity to go the toilets?
Think about what wearing or the idea of wearing diapers triggers? Sexual excitation? Pure comfort?

Go from there and find an alternative to feel the same thing you are looking for in diapers.

Also, it's true that you can go through something, only if you first fully accept and embrace it. Guilt, shame, confusion, ego issues are everything in the addictive attraction we may feel for something or someone.

I don’t know where it came from. I suppose I occasionally had feelings before the trip, but that trip is where it really started. I longed to be a baby, but my biggest focus was always the diapers. That trip was when I started really indulging into those feelings. Overtime, however, my feelings have evolved. At first I dreamed of security and lack of stress, thst I could just be. However, I now don’t know. There isn’t a part of me that wants to be a baby, but something inside me wants me to wear anf use diapers. There isn’t a reason I am into them. The diapr side of me has tried to argue that it frees me from taking a potty break, but I haven’t really used that excuse for a long while. All I know is that for some reason I want to wear a diaper. There is no reasin for the attraction. The other side of me is frustrated. It seems stupid that someone would actually have these feelings, and It only adds flaws to my character. However, for some reason, that side of me is opening up. I feel it might be worth a try.
 
DH19 said:
I understand that those of you here are in favor of acceptance, but whether or not I accept my desire is for me to decide. I ask you, not whether or not I should accept it, but whether or not it is possible to destroy it. I’ve been a diaper lover for 20 months; I would be into it for about a week or half a week every month or so, but I would then get mad and destroy it. However, it would always come back. I may choose to accept my feelings, but I still want to know if there is a permanent solution. Is there a way to get rid of my fetish forever? If so, how? (I don’t think there is anything wrong with being an AB/DL, but I am not sure if it is something I want to be a part of my life)

I am not going to lie: Being a AB/DL for more than 7 years, (And only wearing diapers since January of this year, finally.) I can confidently say that it is VERY hard to even offput these feelings. (Trust me, I've tried.) I have tried to consider that wearing and/or liking diapers is an abnormal thing. Nothing has worked. Alas- I gave in. I would just try to occupy your time doing any and everything other than thinking about diapers or wearing them. Hopefully you will have better luck that me! (But to be totally honest, it's quite a bit of fun.)
 
DH19 said:
I don’t know where it came from. I suppose I occasionally had feelings before the trip, but that trip is where it really started. I longed to be a baby, but my biggest focus was always the diapers. That trip was when I started really indulging into those feelings. Overtime, however, my feelings have evolved. At first I dreamed of security and lack of stress, thst I could just be. However, I now don’t know. There isn’t a part of me that wants to be a baby, but something inside me wants me to wear anf use diapers. There isn’t a reason I am into them. The diapr side of me has tried to argue that it frees me from taking a potty break, but I haven’t really used that excuse for a long while. All I know is that for some reason I want to wear a diaper. There is no reasin for the attraction. The other side of me is frustrated. It seems stupid that someone would actually have these feelings, and It only adds flaws to my character. However, for some reason, that side of me is opening up. I feel it might be worth a try.

These are not flaws in your character, they're facets of your personality. They're going to be what you make them. If you see them as horrible, dreaded failings, they're going to cause you problems. Accentuate the positive and choose your moments properly. When you're young and you'd rather keep it to yourself, the negative aspects seem to have more heft. It's okay to accept these feelings as normal but decide you're not going to act on them. You will have plenty of time and opportunity in the future.
 
DH19 said:
I don’t know where it came from. I suppose I occasionally had feelings before the trip, but that trip is where it really started. I longed to be a baby, but my biggest focus was always the diapers. That trip was when I started really indulging into those feelings. Overtime, however, my feelings have evolved. At first I dreamed of security and lack of stress, thst I could just be. However, I now don’t know. There isn’t a part of me that wants to be a baby, but something inside me wants me to wear anf use diapers. There isn’t a reason I am into them. The diapr side of me has tried to argue that it frees me from taking a potty break, but I haven’t really used that excuse for a long while. All I know is that for some reason I want to wear a diaper. There is no reasin for the attraction. The other side of me is frustrated. It seems stupid that someone would actually have these feelings, and It only adds flaws to my character. However, for some reason, that side of me is opening up. I feel it might be worth a try.

Like you, I don't much know where my love of diapers came from. It started pragmatically enough — it's easier to change a diaper at night than an entire set of sheets. But I loved it. They're soft. They're soothing.

It makes no sense off the top of it.

I just like it.

It took a few months of experimenting and wearing off and on to come to peace with it.

I know it seems ludicrous. I had the same struggles. The only thing that got me through the cycle of bingeing and restricting was learning that there were people like me who also had these likes and desires, and that they were more common than I thought —

And the reminder that this was harming no one at all, while indulging was ultimately helping my mental health. I had never been in better condition than when I gently indulged — even my therapist wondered what was up. (I did not tell her what was up.)

I guess what I'm saying is, go easy on yourself. Maybe let yourself have this once in a while. It's not a flaw. And you're not hurting anyone, after all.
 
And You can always like diapers and not be an adult baby. Sometimes I get fed up with all the AB side of wearing a diaper, I don't identify as a AB but just a plain ol DL. can I stop wearing diapers ,, sure do I want to .. not at this time, have i always worn diapers, no for years I just wet, diapers came around about 30 years ago, they are a part of whom I have evolved into, they hurt no one and as has been stated they help the person that I am.
 
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Most of my points have already been said. I agree is the majority of voices on several items.

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I suspect that your initial feelings about diapers started at a much earlier age. I think the brain makes connections between diapers and some sort of stimulus or reaction at our early, formative age. Perhaps going to Universal triggered a lot of old memories. If you are unhappy with these feelings, try to ignore the minor feelings and just wear diapers when the urges are much more intense. It's all about balance anyway, balancing our adult time and the things we need to do as adults against free time, recreation and the occasional diaper.
 
I don’t know if you are or not, only you can answer that question for yourself. It’s a question that I as well as many members here have struggled with for years. I thought I was done with it once I got married and I managed to stay diaper free for the 1st 5 years of my marriage but when it came back, it came back hard & telling my wife about it was the hardest thing I have ever done. It completely changed our entire marriage and had been a constant point of contention. Eventually I had to come to the realization for myself that I was going to have to deal with this for the rest of my life. It’s a very difficult thing to have the second conversation with my wife about it. I basically told her that it wasn’t fair that I failed to tell her about this part of myself before she decided to spend the rest of her life with me. But marriage is just that, a choice & I told her that it was only fair that she decide for herself if she wanted to choose to stay married to me, because diapers,unfortunately weren’t a choice for me & are a part of who I am and I was no longer willing to fight to repress that part of myself. Luckily for me she decided that her relationship with me was more important to her & for the last 10 years she has tried her best to accept & understand it.


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I tried to quit more times than I recall.

And after three tries... the last with serious help and support from here and friends... I also tried accepting and making it part of my life and marriage. It terrifying, and different, and a change as Bokeh states, but it's also been one of the most amazing year and a half of my life...

YMMV
 
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