Quitting ABDL

I found an article on here that had been closed, not sure why.
I google searching - quitting abdl

Anyway wanted to put my opinion across.

Ive been into it on and off since I was very young, not through choice just had an obsession from a very young age of baby things, also at an early age turned me on.

Someone posted about quitting, and questioning if he should.
I agreed with what he posted.

I think everyone encourages other people to embrace it to make them selves feel better and more accepted. Its wrong.
I don't think it is healthy at all to embrace ABDL.
Ive gone through the usual cycle it seems most have, embracing then guilt and throwing things away etc..

This has stopped me having relationships and even stopped me exploring sexually full stop.
Like so many I had searched for someone into the same things, and want me to do it, and the only experience Ive had turned out to be absolutely vile.
This was though fetlife which I highly recommend keeping away from.

One thing Ive noticed that does enable these feelings more, is being alone, not socializing and interacting with other humans.
Such an important part of life.
Lately when Ive had the feeling of ABDL, and urges, Ive watched some of the youtube videos of others, not the fake sexy ones, but the real ones, the ones that quite frankly are embarrassing. They work and im soon reminded of how silly it all is.

Ive read so much of partners asking for advice etc.. and soon as they show the slightest ounce of understanding or acceptance they go overboard and want to go full on acting like a baby, doing the baby things.
Why should anyone accept that. And why should it be encouraged???

Having spoke to people online, or been on forums another thing that strikes me, some people discover it very late, and get into it.
WHY?
Why the hell would you decide to get into this?

Ive noticed fads and trends.
This whole, what age are you etc..
Thats a load of crap. I hate the side of all this that has become a trend.

There's the argument if its not harming anyone, well from what i know and have read it almost always seems to be harming the person into it.
More males than females maybe, as the DDLG dynamic isn't that un-natural to an extent.

I know this will either get closed, or the replies will be, I know nothing, ABDL is great, leave us alone, bla bla bla....
Maybe im wrong and you can have a serious discussion and debate without a thread being closed on here, but I saw someone had posted wanting to quit and the thread was closed.

Anyway, from someone who has been into ABDL, but never fully embraced it, thank god. I think it is seriously unhealthy and if you can stop. STOP. Life is amazing, there is so much to see and do, There are amazing people to meet, amazing experiences to be had. Don't let this hold you back.

I'm glad that it did. Surely there is a better way though? And don't take this as an attack, but surely you could find a better way to find comfort?
Do you have a partner? Do you socialize?

I am confused as to how you had to be anti-social. That may have been something you yourself were doing from constant worrying. Everyone is different but the main reason people do not like trying to instantly push someone to quit is a bunch of reasons. For one it really is harmless. You mentioned that it harms the person but in no way does it. Unless your blatantly walking around in public in only a diaper or something of that extreme, would it ever harm you. Even then it be more on a social/job level, but that be no different than some guy walking around naked. He would get the same disgusted responses. Also it sounds like you've had A TON of bad experiences. Please keep in my your experiences do not equate to all of our community. It is hard to see the full picture if the cover is riddled with trash.

If you have a sexual interest in this, from what I've read, it isn't advised to try and remove it. Yes it can be done but again this interest is so tame it is just silly at the end of the day. You could be into choking yourself or something come on.

From what I've seen the creepy cringy ones seem to be waaaaaaaaaaayyy more open with meeting in stuff right off the bat compared to non cringy people. No I am not saying all are that way I've meet one person who was pretty nice and I like just started chatting with them out of nowhere, so you can find good experiences.

Finally this is just me speculating but... Maybe you should throw out societies standards that it is trying to push onto people. I am not trying to sound mean but society is honestly broken I hate how stagnant they want males to be. Every male has to LOVE FOOTBALL; they gotta have BIG MUSCLES; THEY CAN'T HAVE ANYTHING CUTE. Don't even get me started on what is expected if your of a different race and a male. At the end of the day non of that matters if your not hurting anyone just do what you like. If someone wants to leave you for being who you are then it more than likely wasn't gonna last anyways. No I am not saying you should try to work things out.


Also don't worry about others so much in our community. Yes it be nice if we had more cute looking people taking pictures to give us a better image to the public, but regardless of what you do, people will still throw labels at you. All it takes is one person in a diaper doing something stupid for it to label us all. Should you hate that person? Should we start throwing pitchforks and demanding for our kind to act a certain way?

NO! mainly because I feel we should have freedom in what our choices are. I extremely dislike trying to force down YOUR WAY down all throats sorta mentality. Let people be who they want to be as long as they are not harming people. Besides you won't be able to do anything about it anyways so accept it and don't waste energy over it.

I am very happy being an ABDL and i still have in my opinion a successful life so i don't see how being an ABDL would limit you or your potential. As long as there is a fare balance i really don't see anything wrong with it. For some its a coping mechanism that could technically be substituted for something different but that something different could potentially be harmful. I don't see being an ABDL as harmful so why give try to give up something not harmful for something that could potentially be.

For some people on here it is definitely not as easy as just stopping. Honestly if it was I would have done it a long time ago but then I would have never had the opportunity to enjoy it.

Relationships can sometimes be difficult but if the person really loves you you will be able to come to an agreement of some sort. Honestly there is so much more that can cause tension in a close relationship than this. Im married to a mostly vanilla wife but this is rarely a point of tension and it doesn't get in the way of our happiness.

If that is what you want to do then go for it I truly wish you the best of luck and bottom line is you have to do what makes you happy and comfortable.

I'm a strong believer in carving your own destiny, but this thing? Permanent. I don't understand why, I could beat anything, but quitting this is impossible without driving myself crazy with some form of behavioural programming.
I say this as someone who is VERY educated in psychology and social work(like decades): we are wired with this, and it's about the expression of our vulnerability.

ABDL is your particular language for love... It's ok, it makes you a precious find. Some partner will realize how beautiful you are someday, and you will experience the bliss I feel every day. Your partner will also feel the bliss, that's the beauty of this.

Dating is hard, but don't give up on your most precious, vulnerable side.

- - - Updated - - -

I'm a strong believer in carving your own destiny, but this thing? Permanent. I don't understand why, I could beat anything, but quitting this is impossible without driving myself crazy with some form of behavioural programming.
I say this as someone who is VERY educated in psychology and social work(like decades): we are wired with this, and it's about the expression of our vulnerability.

ABDL is your particular language for love... It's ok, it makes you a precious find. Some partner will realize how beautiful you are someday.

Dating is hard, but don't give up on your most precious, vulnerable side.

These are your opinions and your opinions are valid, to each their own. I'll challenge you though and question, are the problems you are outlining tied to ABDL on the whole or to your own select experience and perception of ABDL?

A lot of the problems you have outlined with regards to your reluctance to embrace your ABDL side are problems that I have never personally faced. I know how to compartmentalize this part of myself, I know when to diaper up and be a baby and when to be an adult, so this interest/lifestyle/part of myself has never interfered with my ability to lead a normal adult life or have normal adult interactions and relationships, I've even been lucky enough to have had people in my life who accepted this as a part of me and who either indulged in it or understood it without passing judgement.

Forgive me if this sounds presumptuous, but you seem to be using ABDL crutch to justify personal misgivings that have lead to social hardship. If someone like myself, a person who has fully embraced being an ABDL can lead a normal and fulfilling adult life then there is no reason why someone like you who is ABDL, but hasn't embraced it can't do the same, unless the problem rests with other deeper, personal problems not at all related to ABDL.

On some levels, I can even agree with you, there are times when I engage in baby time where after the fact, I'll look at things objectively and say to myself, "My how silly this all is, I must look like a giant fool", but the elation I feel when I pad up and regress far outweighs how "strange" the behaviour is, normality is ultimately subjective.

You harp on why ABDL should be accepted and encouraged, let me tell you, acceptance doesn't mean blind-tolerance and subservience and encouragement does not denote a lack of moderation. You can accept yourself and still know when to be a baby and when to be an adult, you can accept yourself and not receive the acceptance of others. If another person truly loves you, however, they will accept you and them accepting you doesn't mean that person falling into place as your Mommy, Daddy or caregiver and tending to your every whim, sometimes acceptance just means being understood and learning how to compromise. Encouraging this behaviour isn't condoning the sacrifice of adulthood nor is it the endorsement of being a baby 24/7, encouragement is knowing that these behaviours are not harmful to yourself or others and that it is OK to indulge/engage in them if these behaviours make you happy, encouragement is a thumbs up to let you know that it's alright to wear a diaper and be a baby when time allows and when life gets you down.

Allow me to play devil's advocate here for a moment. Your perspective seems to dictate that embracing this side of yourself, even in the slightest, is wrong, but is it not also wrong and more to your detriment to simply repress this side of yourself and pay it no mind at all, to pretend as though it doesn't exist and basically delude yourself?

Your line of thinking is not unlike how a closeted homosexual would have thought back when being gay and proud was taboo. Repressing ones sexuality and impulses is far more destructive than making peace with them and indulging in them safely when you have the time, with a partner or by yourself. Some repressed homosexuals wound up committing suicide others started sham families and wound up ruining more lives than just their own all because of a lack of acceptance and transparency. Accepting this side of yourself doesn't mean, as you outline, going full blown baby 24/7, unhealthy overindulgence, no one has the time, nor the finances, nor the lack of responsibility to allow for that, accepting and being an ABDL is a sliding scale. Many of us who accept our ABDL sides will engage in this part-time, on weekends or during alone time, others will indulge with a little more regularity, multiple times a week, some of us will want to incorporate this into our daily lives, some of us are lucky enough to find partners willing to indulge and play along, some of us may be so accepting that we set aside space for ourselves to build a nursery, any and all of these practices are perfectly fine so long as they aren't being forcibly imposed upon others, impacting your ability to be an adult or distracting you from your adult responsibilities i.e. work, social life etc. Being ABDL differs from person to person, it stands to reason that our level of personal acceptance, indulgence and our individual ABDL practices differ from person to person as well.

Also, quitting ABDL is never really possible. There are certainly periods of time where I have forgotten about these interests and where I haven't indulged or entertained them. Between the ages of 9 and 14 I never thought once about wanting to wear a diaper and being a baby, why just recently, last year, I went 5 months without wearing or regressing at all. These interests naturally wax and wane as far as I'm concerned, but they always come back. No amount of wishful thinking, reparative therapy, force of will and least of all self-loathing can completely remove these desires from an individual, that would be akin to telling an artist that he can't create or to telling a short person that he needs to be taller, these desires are inherent within us.

Lastly, I'll close by saying that yes, life is amazing, there is so much to see and do, there are amazing people to meet, amazing experiences to be had and being an ABDL doesn't and shouldn't prevent one from experiencing any of this, and if it does, then that person is going about it wrong. It is also fair to note, that being an ABDL can broaden your palette and open you up to a whole other world of experiences, interesting people and amazing activities. The key word in Adult-Baby is just that "Adult" there is no reason why you can't experience both a fulfilling adult life and a fulfilling baby one as well.

Good luck to you in your continued journey and I wish you the best with whatever you decide.

You certainly have your own, strong opinions on this topic.

Until a few months ago, I may have agreed with you.

I would have been camp quit. I had not accepted this as a part of myself, wanting nothing more than it to be gone — it made no sense.

But, time went on. I realized that my mental health was actually improving when I gave myself this time. It wasn't harming anyone. It wasn't something that would cause danger to my health, like alcohol. And with time, came enjoyment and acceptance.

Now? I wouldn't trade it for anything. And I would have to respectfully disagree with you.

Whatever you decide, however you end up, good luck — but I really doubt you'll change any minds here.

I think it's interesting that you just made an account on an AB/DL diaper support site only to say we should all stop wearing diapers. It sounds more like you're spamming us rather than being a legitimate member. I will give you credit that you took the time to write a fair amount and you presented your case reasonably well, at least as to how wearing diapers relates to you. But we're all different.

Until my wife recently died, I was married to a very accepting wife. Though she didn't participate, she accepted me and my need to wear. It didn't affect our sex life. It didn't affect me as a father as we have three very successful children. Both my wife and I were very successful and I still am as a classical, performing musician. Diapers don't rule my life. I'm active, hiking and biking. I enjoy sports. I used to drive to cars on the 1/4 mile track, cars that I built. I live a full live, one where diapers are only a part of that life. Perhaps you need some psychological help. Some of members do as well, but you shouldn't paint us all with the same, wide brush.

Quitting it's easier said than done for some.
The one who tried quitting off and on for a good 3O some years.
I did quit for 3 years straight but founded I was dead inside and did not really want to continue living.
For some of us it's so very ingrained in us that it's not a choice just to quit.
If it was so easy there might not be so many of us out there.
I had to embrace who I'm the all of me no what Society thinks I should be for I've been imprinted with liking diapers .
From an early age.
Some part of being a AB helped me stay alive through a hellish childhood .
Just because it may not be right for you doesn't mean it's not for others.
It comes down to this if you don't want to wear diapers then don't .
If you can quit then do .
But for some we are just fine how we are.

The major folly with your reasoning is that nobody ever CHOOSES to be abdl. It is an ingrained part of who we are, similar in ways with how a gay person never chooses to be gay. And we can't simply just stop being abdl any more than they can stop being gay.

And while having a sexual diaper fetish (SD) is wholly different than abdl, (specifically that some actually do choose it), modern psychologist all agree that fetishes used to enhance one's own sex life is completely normal and healthy. Still, fetlife is centered around fetishes, no abdl truly belongs on that site.

Further more, being abdl does NOT mean you are forced to be antisocial. My best friend is a part time dl, and my wife knew about my diapers long before we got married. The only reason it has been so hard on you is BECAUSE you have not embraced it.

Ps, topics like this come up often. Like every month or two. And in over 20 years I have yet to see one single person say they manage to truly change their way of thinking to no longer be abdl. Not without filling that diapered void with some unhealth vice and still always think about wanting them. It just doesn't happen, so you can keep being in denial or learn to accept it and move on.

If you can actually quit, go for it!

I've always viewed my infantilism as a curse ... not something I'd wish on my worst enemy. I understand this isn't the prevailing view on the forum, but I'd love to be able to rid myself of it. However, it's managed to plague me since I was 4 years old and I imagine it will remain with me into old age.

I have tried several times to stop, all without success. The closest I came was when I was having to help care for an incontinent relative. While I didn't have to change diapers or anything like that, the repeated daily exposure to a bedridden person who actually 'needed' them desensitized me to a certain extent. I had hoped it would be permanent, but unfortunately, the desire returned.

Anyway, best wishes! Please let us know how you fare.

The issue I would take with the OP here is the judgment expressed at the end of the post. If that person doesn't like wearing diapers and wants to avoid doing so, they're free to do that, and they may be happier for it (I have some doubts, given the binge/purge description, but who knows). The problem for me is someone coming along and saying to everyone else "I think what you're doing is wrong, stop it." Because why does it matter? I'm happy and I'm wearing diapers. Other people are happy and wearing diapers. Some people are unhappy and not in diapers, and some people are unhappy and wearing diapers. There are at least some people who keep on trying to stop because they feel guilt around wearing diapers, and they're able to reach a happier place in their life by coming to an acceptance of their love of diapers.

The point of ADISC is to provide support for ABDLs. If that means wearing diapers is causing someone a problem, support might be encouraging them to stop or at least take a break so that they can get other things in order. If not wearing diapers is causing them a problem (and that happens a fair amount here), support might be helping them become comfortable with wearing. We try to do our best, and everyone should feel like they have the right to do what they need to do to make themselves happy, at least as far as your happiness doesn't depend on hurting someone else.

I wish I could just stop enjoying this, but it is what it is. Better to enjoy diapers than some of the sick things that some people are into.

The past me would have totally agreed with op and if i can give up being a DL i would without a doubt and in a heartbeat. But as time goes on i started to accept myself and like a few others i find myself to be happier and my mental health getting better, i have tried to quit trust me , the total purge and all but it was agonizing afterwards , every time i went out the simplest thing reminds me of being a DL such as walking down the diaper aisle . I mean its not like this is a harmful thing to do unlike drugs, cigarettes , alcohol which is even much more expensive than being AB/DL and actually causes harm to own health.

I find that as people we need some sort of outlet in our lives as life itself is already very difficult . I believe a lot of us have a lot of our own problems to deal with already such as family , work etc . As long as anyone is doing anything that is not harming anyone and that it makes that person happy then it is totally acceptable.

quitingabdl said:

I found an article on here that had been closed, not sure why.
I google searching - quitting abdl

Anyway wanted to put my opinion across.

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Welcome, Quittingabdl, to ADISC!

:detective3 It appears that you have just joined recently and as Dogboy shared, it is interesting that your joined ADISC and then posted that you are quitting. To me, it does not appear that you are here to spam, as you did share a lengthy amount here, and I think genuinely expressed your opinion. Which, then yes, thank you for sharing your opinion. That is one of the great things about ADISC, in that there are a lot of people here, each with a lot of different opinions. It is a great opportunity to share these with others too who are ABDL. As long as they are not specifically targeting others in an aggressive way or particularly derogatory of others, opinions are welcome here.

quitingabdl said:

Ive been into it on and off since I was very young, not through choice just had an obsession from a very young age of baby things, also at an early age turned me on.

Someone posted about quitting, and questioning if he should.
I agreed with what he posted.

I think everyone encourages other people to embrace it to make them selves feel better and more accepted. Its wrong.
I don't think it is healthy at all to embrace ABDL.
Ive gone through the usual cycle it seems most have, embracing then guilt and throwing things away etc..

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Yep, that sounds exactly like the common binge/purge cycle so many of us here on ADISC have experienced. You are certainly not alone here. Not even in your statements about wanting to quit being ABDL and encouraging others to stop.

:educate: Can I just tell you how many, many years that I lived in almost the same state of situation that you are expressing? How many times I tried over and over to stop and simply couldn't? Hating myself for having this desire and thinking I must have been a freak. When I was a teenager, I had no idea there were others out there that had this interest. (okay, dang it... this dates me, but there was no internet then) I felt I was alone and if I had ever come across someone else, I am sure I would have told them to quit and run away from it, and I would be joining them.

While you state that you feel "it isn't healthy at all to embrace being ABDL", let me engage in just a bit of discussion on that. What is worse? engaging in being ABDL or falling into a state of depression where you hate yourself for being this way, avoid others, think thoughts of suicide, believe you have failed God, that you are a freak and if others knew you would be scorned, and enter a prolonged state of depression because you simply can't accept who you are, or that you can't seem to get rid of this desire?

Race Cars - Race Cars? What? I have used this example before, so please humor me if you have heard this already. I used to work with a bunch of folks that because it was a rather lucrative position, they could afford to engage in whatever the latest "fad" seemed to be. In this case it was race cars.

Let me ask you a few questions about race cars...

• Is it wrong to have an interest in race cars?

• Is it wrong to really, really want a race car?

• Is it wrong to have a race car?

• Is it wrong to go to the track on weekends and race your race car?

I think most of us would answer, no, it is not.

But let me ask some other questions...

• Is is wrong to think so much about race cars you can't think about anything else?

• Is it wrong to have a race car if you can't afford it and don't pay your other bills because of it?

• Is it bad to spend all of your time with your race car interest, such that you lose out on relationships and do not experience other things in life because that is all you want to do?

I would guess than most of us in this case would answer, yes, that these things are wrong or bad.

Like race cars or any interest, too much of anything is not a good thing. If it is because you are thinking so much about ABDL that you forego other important things in life, then perhaps you certainly do need to STOP! At least slow down in your desires.

On the other hand, if you are wanting to quit being ABDL because you feel you are a freak or hate yourself for having this desire and are experiencing depression and lack of self worth or esteem because of this, then yes... by all means... STOP!!!! ...Stop letting your ABDL interests affect you in this way!

You are not a freak and you are not a terrible person because of this. I am not saying you need to continue to be ABDL, but stop letting the negative feelings that you are associating around being ABDL bring you to this point! You can continue to beat yourself up for this and go through the binge/purge cycle (which it appears you are very much right now in the purge portion of this), or you can choose to accept this and accept that you are not a bad person because of it. :hug:

I am not encouraging you to continue being ABDL, but just don't let it get you down.

quitingabdl said:

This has stopped me having relationships and even stopped me exploring sexually full stop.
Like so many I had searched for someone into the same things, and want me to do it, and the only experience Ive had turned out to be absolutely vile.
This was though fetlife which I highly recommend keeping away from.

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:sad: I am sorry to hear this QuitingABDL. It seems that you have had some rather bad experiences, of which I am not surprised. There are a lot of ABDL sites out there, and many of them may be places to meet other ABDLs or have personal interaction experiences. But not all of them are created equal. Some are good, some are bad, and some are downright sleazy. There are differing associated aspects of being ABDL, and not all of them are for everyone.

--Say you are a heterosexual male and you are looking for a relationship. Not all sites you visit are going to meet your specific interests in being heterosexual. Some might seem way off from what your interests are, some maybe downright offensive to you. --But does that mean seeing others behave in ways that you would not in being heterosexual, that you should suddenly become asexual instead? :dunno:

quitingabdl said:

One thing Ive noticed that does enable these feelings more, is being alone, not socializing and interacting with other humans.
Such an important part of life.
Lately when Ive had the feeling of ABDL, and urges, Ive watched some of the youtube videos of others, not the fake sexy ones, but the real ones, the ones that quite frankly are embarrassing. They work and im soon reminded of how silly it all is.

Ive read so much of partners asking for advice etc.. and soon as they show the slightest ounce of understanding or acceptance they go overboard and want to go full on acting like a baby, doing the baby things.
Why should anyone accept that. And why should it be encouraged???

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Yes, having a life outside of being ABDL is hugely important. Being ABDL is just one aspect of who you are as a person. There are those that believe it is all of what and who they are, and for me... I share MY opinion here in that I believe they are overdoing it.

There is so much other things in life as well, and being ABDL does not mean you cannot experience them. I enjoy a whole heck of a lot of other things than being ABDL. I am a real life cowboy, love riding horses and working with livestock, growing crops, and nature in general. I spend a lot of time outdoors. I love hiking and climbing mountain peaks, especially the tall ones out west such as being over 13,000 feet. I am a pilot, I have a pretty nice truck and a few other modest man toys. I am very much involved in the lives of my children, attending sports and other things they are involved in. I am involved in my church, civic organizations, and even on a bowling league.

Why am I sharing this? Teddy, are you bragging? :sad:

Heck no!! I am just trying to make the point that this ABDL cowboy has a lot in his life that has nothing to do with being ABDL and hopefully by sharing this that others can understand being ABDL should not stop them from having other relationships, enjoying other aspects of life, or accomplishing anything that they want to do.

--as for how the so-called "reality shows" portray actual ABDLs and engaging in behaviors that seem "off", well, reality shows aren't true reality. I'm not saying that they don't represent what those ABDLs lifestyle may be like, but it isn't what everyone's lives are like either. If they are into ABDLism enough to go public with it, then they are quite outside the norm of most ABDLs, as there are only a few that would ever do so.

While I think some of them have good intentions, I am not so certain as a whole that it has helped the community. There are certain things that are perhaps best left in private and not portrayed out in public. Hollywood has a great way of sensationalizing sex and making it into a dream fantasy, but if they were to show the average real life, mid-aged couples, in any gender relationship, I think it would appear much less attractive. If Hollywood were to get the most shapely of individuals engaged in wearing diapers and promote this in the same manner they do with sexual encounters, it would likely not have the same effect as your "reality" shows had upon you.

:educate: Lets face it (and please, please forgive me if I go to far in this next example and my attempt to relate it to this topic, but I believe this point has much merit). --Not too many people are going to think there is much attractive of Granny and Grandpa having a go together. It might even be a turn off or seem a bit repulsive maybe? (and forgive me to any grannys and grandpas out there--I'm just trying to give an analogy)

--Yet for them, it is as special as when Leonardo Di'Caprio and Kate Winslet made love in the movie Titanic as Jack and Rose in the height of their youth.

If you were to argue otherwise, you would have to say that a person that is otherwise different in what "societal norms of sexuality" might be, could never have a romantic relationship with another who is equally as attracted to them as if they were a Brad Pitt or Bo Derek.

In being ABDL, it is exactly the same... To others looking in, there may be nothing that appears specifically attractive or perhaps rather it is even a bit of offense. But in being ABDL, it is about the perception of who you are and of being little. Yes, you are not a baby. You can't change that, but the feeling of being little is real. The feeling is not fantasy, it is a real emotion. There is nothing fake or pretend about that! --Even as there is nothing fake or wrong about Granny and Grandpa having a bit of sexual romantic fun.

quitingabdl said:

Having spoke to people online, or been on forums another thing that strikes me, some people discover it very late, and get into it.
WHY?
Why the hell would you decide to get into this?

Ive noticed fads and trends.
This whole, what age are you etc..
Thats a load of crap. I hate the side of all this that has become a trend.

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QuitingABDL, if you are truly ABDL (which I do believe you are), then you know this isn't about some fad or trend. It's not something that someone finds online and thinks, "Hey, that looks cool, Miley Cyrus says she is ABDL so I am going to be one!"

There may be a remote chance that some individuals explore this interest because of such a reason, but to likely 90% or more, this is not something that we chose to have in our life. The threads, posts, and studies here and elsewhere all show that this interest often develops very early in life, and most everyone expresses they did not choose to be ABDL. It was just something that they feel inside, as natural or intrinsic as favoring blue over green or the like.

A majority share they have struggled or are struggling with accepting this part of themselves. Binge and Purge is nothing new. Many wish they didn't have this interest, while others, such as myself have "graduated" to accepting it is part of who I am and it isn't going away anytime soon. For myself, I believe it has made me a better and stronger person as I have overcome the "demons" in my life that told me I was something terrible and instead realized how great I am. Being ABDL, while just a part of me, has been "a weakness that has made me strong". I am no longer hating myself because of it. I don't go out and promote everyone, hey, you should be ABDL! It will make you a better person! But rather, for those that are ABDL, I try to share that it isn't something to be depressed over. In fact, perhaps it is something that may make them overall a better person because they have it.

Just as someone who has lost a leg. This can make them less of a person if they let it, or perhaps an even greater person as they learn who they are isn't based upon the lack of a limb, and they use their so called disability into something that makes them bigger and better because of it. :detective3

quitingabdl said:

There's the argument if its not harming anyone, well from what i know and have read it almost always seems to be harming the person into it.
More males than females maybe, as the DDLG dynamic isn't that un-natural to an extent.

I know this will either get closed, or the replies will be, I know nothing, ABDL is great, leave us alone, bla bla bla....
Maybe im wrong and you can have a serious discussion and debate without a thread being closed on here, but I saw someone had posted wanting to quit and the thread was closed.

Anyway, from someone who has been into ABDL, but never fully embraced it, thank god. I think it is seriously unhealthy and if you can stop. STOP. Life is amazing, there is so much to see and do, There are amazing people to meet, amazing experiences to be had. Don't let this hold you back.

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First of all, QuittingABDL, you need to know that threads on ADISC usually get closed because of lack of activity, not because of someone posting an opinion contrary to others. When a thread gets closed prematurely, it is because it has taken a turn where there has become a large amount of comments targeting against others or otherwise become a source of throwing zingers against those of differing opinions rather than productive dialog.

ADISC is about supporting others, not putting them down. But differing opinions as I have seen since I joined seven years ago, have always been accepted. It is when it reaches the point of a non-productive argument that the threads are closed. We are here to help each other, not be putting each other down.

So, I hope that may help you understand and ease your concerns of being "shut down" because you may have posted something in your mind is contrary to what ABDLs think.

:educate: Having said that, I hope you may realize that your opinion is not different than what many of us here have experienced many times in our lives. You are not alone, and you are among friends here who sincerely do want to help. I'm not going to kid you and say that everyone is going to be nice and be your friend, but you are in a place where most genuinely care about helping each other. I truly believe that.

In closing my post, I just want to share some of your own words once again.

"Life is amazing, there is so much to see and do, There are amazing people to meet, amazing experiences to be had. Don't let this hold you back."

:detective3 QuittingABDL, I absolutely couldn't agree with you more!

Life is amazing and we are all unique and have great potential. Being ABDL is not something that should hold you back. But in a differing view than you may have said this, being ABDL is not something to be ashamed of or be depressed over. It is something that if you learn to understand it, and control it instead of it controlling you, it can be a strength and not a weakness to you. Don't let it get you down or keep you from being the rest (and best) of the person that you are and can be.

:hug:


Note: I apologize for this exceedingly long post.

But to the OP and others who read this post and thread, may you know that TeddyBearCowboy is passionate about this topic. I hope that my sharing of these things can even reach one person and help them with their own struggles of being ABDL. There were times I could have easily taken my life because of how I felt about my being ABDL and how much I hated this interest. I would have given almost anything to have rid myself of it. But in all honesty, this is no longer the case. I have discovered that it is part of me and not something to be ashamed of.

While I don't go out in public and proclaim myself as a diaper wearer, I am internally proud of myself and have learned to accept this part of myself. I am so much more happy and I no longer am ashamed, but rather grateful for being ABDL as it has made me a stronger and better person.

I've spent probably the better part of my life wishing I were not ABDL, and acting accordingly. At age 61, I think I've finally woken up and "seen the light" in this thing.

Here are two questions for you:

1. What percentage of the disparaging attitudes towards diapers that you feel as they might apply to your own self come from your own self, vs: what percentage of these attitudes that you feel as they might apply to your own self come from others?
2. Of those disparaging attitudes that might come from yourself, what percentage of those were "inborn" vs: taught?

In my own case, I would say that perhaps 90% of the negativity that I sense regarding my wearing of diapers originally comes from mere social norms, and perhaps only 10% of it is based on the practical difficulties involved, or maybe somehow deeply ingrained in a certain "reflexive shame" that for some reason seems to be closely associated with sexual activities of any kind.

Yes, even now I feel that if "life" somehow handed me a "Get out of ABDL Jail free" card, I would probably still play that card, but at least now I know that life probably won't hand me that card, and so now I accept my life the way it is and make the very best of it that I can. Why allow others to dictate to you about, and disparage, a part of yourself that you yourself will find is going to be a part of you for life? Do all of the Google searching you want, and you will never find anyone who'se discovered a method to reliably "quit being an ABDL." I've searched for years, with nil results. This is simply not an option. Just as many others here have explained, when life has handed them this bowl of lemons, they've made lemonade! Why not?