Looking for input

Hello again,

I just left a quick intro for myself in the introduction section so this post wouldn't be quite so long and drawn out but I'm hoping to get some insight on something I'm going through.
When I began wearing 24/7 almost 7 years ago, I could not get through any online search on the topic of incontinence or diapers without at least half of it coming up abdl or other fetish related stuff. I quickly developed a deep dislike and distrust for the community. After I joined an online forum much like this one that had both abdl and incontinence section, my dislike for the abdl's went up a few notches after having people tell me I was "lucky to have a reason to wear a diaper".
I finally left that forum for another that is STRICTLY incontinence only and learned a lot and felt much more comfortable. What has changed recently is that I have been looking and trying other products that are flurting with the abdl side of things. After several years of using cloth diapers, I was shopping around for other plastic pants and found some solid color ones from kins. The quality of their pants were so much better then the leak masters I had been using but the only colors they had were blue, red, yellow and white. The colors seemed a bit silly but I got to liking the lighter side of things and not taking it so serious all the time.
A few weeks ago, I got some samples from Northshore of some new product going on line soon. In the samples were the supreme with the new waist band, BetterDry and crinklz. After some internal debate I tried the crinklz and found that while they did nothing for me sexually, but I like the feeling again of making light of the situation. You see, incontinence and more specifically diapers have been such a stress for me, even to the point of having suicidal thought a few years back.
I guess my question is this, how often or how normal is it for someone dealing and living with incontinence turn to the abdl side of things as a way to cope or let off some of the stress that incontinence can bring?

Hey RW25. I understand where you're coming from. I initially got into Diapers because I was having incontinence issues that were pretty bad lets just say that. Now I'm in a position to where my control is just less than the average person and honestly I've just gotten to be comfortable in diapers. Now I'm not an AB and I think people saying you were lucky to have issues are just in a mindset of wanting to lack that control. I know that sounds crazy but they do, it's inconsiderate to say to someone like you but they want that. Now I'm not sure I'm a DL but I'm just comfortable enough in diapers. So I think DL works for me. I think when we all come together and try and talk about things we have in common and such, it helps us. It helps me blow off steam. I don't think you have to particularly turn to the ABDL side but interacting with fellow users on here might benefit you. It certainly has helped me. If you have anything you don't want to say out here my Private Messages are always open, I offer them to new people I start talking to.

I am a 52 year old man with a neurogenic bladder. Have suffered with incontinent issues my ENTIRE life. During my youth, I struggled to stay dry both day and night. For most of my life, I have scheduled my life around bathroom visits and toilet availability. I have been using intermittent self catheterization for 40 years. Only recently have I come to accept that wearing a diaper helps deal with the stress and the logistics.

Most often I wear a pull up and still make use of the catheter to stay managed. I can not bring myself to be an AB, and as far as being a DL, I almost like the fact that diapers help, but I so wish that I did not need them....

Hey Hotdog,

Just a heads up but I can't send a PM. I have not been active here long enough. If you want, you may shoot me a PM.

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Hotdog,
Nope. I can't reply. If you use skype, I can chat there. You will need to send me you screen name there in a PM.

RW25 said:

Hey Hotdog,

Just a heads up but I can't send a PM. I have not been active here long enough. If you want, you may shoot me a PM.

- - - Updated - - -

Hotdog,
Nope. I can't reply. If you use skype, I can chat there. You will need to send me you screen name there in a PM.

Click to expand...

Hi and welcome to the site. I'm not incontinent, at least not yet though I have to be careful with urge control. I think you'll find ADISC with some of the most sensible and helpful members considering that we are an AB/DL site. What makes us a little different is that our prime goal is to be supportive to all members and that most certainly includes those who are genuinely incontinent.

We also discuss a lot of other things and that can be fun. We have some running threads like Last Movie You Saw, Favorite Song or song lyric, etc. If you participate in the various threads we get to know you and you us. After awhile, it's like having another family. My wife died in October and I received many, many responses from members who were caring and supportive. You never know how far this site goes until someone is there for you. I hope you have that experience too.

I am well aware of shortsighteness with incontinencesupport.com, AND the overglorification you get at dailydiapers.com. I got banned from the former for never mentioning abdl but simply for having the username B Brian. They though it was too close to Baby Brian, so haters gonna hate. And I also got banned from the latter for saying LOVING diapers is a form of love and compulsion- not a sexual fetish. But again, haters gonna hate.

And when life gives you lemons, you learn to like lemonade. So then when life puts you into diapers why would you not want to learn liking diapers??? Welcome to the site of all diapers in moderation.

It went through Hotdog. I'll just have to answer you here for now.

I guess my question is this, how often or how normal is it for someone dealing and living with incontinence turn to the abdl side of things as a way to cope or let off some of the stress that incontinence can bring?

Click to expand...

I believe it is normal when we have no control over a stressful situation to make light of it to avoid depression.

I went back into diapers 25+ years ago due to chronic illness. The best disposable diapers available at that time were Attends (nothing like Attends today). Going through 8+ diapers a day was expensive, so when I found advertisements for cloth diapers and plastic pants in the back of a disability magazine my wife and I decided to check into it. Our kids were brought up in cloth diapers at home, so the idea seemed reasonable. One of the vendors happened to be local, so we gave him a call and drove over for an appointment. Was I surprised to see the variety of diapers and plastic pants he carried. Yes, he had traditional white diapers and plastic pants for adults, but he also had diapers, plastic pants, and bibs with baby prints... AND MORE. As this was pre internet I had no idea about ABDL, but figured he probably sold product to parents with severely disabled adult children. As I was a mature adult, I wanted incontinence products suitable for a disabled adult, not diapers and plastic pants for an adult sized baby.

But, my wife was with me, and she started pulling out items that she thought would be good for me, all with good reasons. Heavyweight, birdseye, prefolded diapers for bedtime, which made sense to me as they were white and that is what worked well on our kids. Flannel, prefold diapers for daytime, as they were less expensive and we needed more to handle multiple changes during the day. What surprised me was she pulled flannel diapers with juvenile (not baby) sports prints, stating that SHE wanted them to be fun. My wife was adamant that the plastic pants be reasonably transparent, so she could visually see how wet I was. She pulled one size of plastic pants for daytime and larger ones for bedtime, as the bedtime diapers were considerably thicker. Plus, she was concerned if I needed to be double diapered (which I did). As there were no plastic pants with juvenile (not baby) prints, She got a mixed dozen in translucent white, pastel blue, and pastel yellow. Later, after making sure that cloth diapering was working for me, my wife took our kids to the fabric store and let them pick out various flannel prints for dad, which she then sewed into diapers for me.

Did I feel a bit kiddish wearing diapers printed with baseballs, bats, and caps covered in baby blue plastic pants... absolutely. But my wife and kids and I enjoyed the levity. Bottom line, if my wife needed to call 911, I didn't mind being seen in fun diapers, just not diapers and/or plastic pants with baby themes.

After 25 years, I just want to wear great diapers, but I still need to be mindful of 911 calls. The ABU Simple and NorthShore Supreme are my go to diapers when out of the house. I tried a half case of ABU Space, which are fun and I wouldn't be embarrassed ending up in the ER in them, but the Simples are less expensive. I like the appearance of the ABU PreSchool Plastic, but I would probably be embarrassed by those in the ER. Bottom line is whichever diapers works best for you and makes life easiest, wear them. If I didn't have the potential of going to the ER at any given moment, I would have a variety of printed disposable diapers to suit my mood and bladder needs.

Thank you Hotdog, slomo, Cheshirecat, dog boy and shortsub. You all have great points and it's a comfort to know I'm not as crazy as I felt I was. It's been a very stressful ride getting to this point and the whole time leading up to this was filled with a ton of distaste for that lifestyle but I am learning it was partially because of me not understanding what makes people tick and what got them to that point. Now don't get me wrong, there are still aspects of the adult baby I don't understand but at least here, I am more in a position to see both sides and hopefully put aside some of those long held notions and see we are all normal people dealing with our own stuff. I'm looking forward to getting to know all of you much better.

RW

Looking for Input - helpful reply from incontinence expert

Dear RW25,

Since 2002 I have been training healthcare professionals to treat the most common kinds of female urinary incontinence. Stress urinary incontinence, SUI, in women is mostly caused by natural childbirth, but also by anything that puts mechanical stress on the hammock of muscles between the pubic bone and "tailbone" (coccyx) that supports all the organs in the belly (abdomen) such as obesity, jogging, running, jumping, tennis, volleyball, smoking (and coughing) etc. The strong urge to urinate has a completely different cause, a twitchy bladder muscle (the detrusor), and is usually treated with drugs that relax this muscle, but more recently by stimulating the bladder nerve to calm the muscle. When a woman has stress and urge incontinence, it's called mixed urinary incontinence, or MUI. SUI and MUI account for about 75 percent of all case of female urinary incontinence. These are very treatable without surgery, so there is no reason to be using absorbent products such as pads, diapers, adult briefs, etc. If you type "FemiScan" into the YouTube search box you'll learn about a medical device that is 97% effective in treating these two kinds of female urinary incontinence.

RW25 said:

Hello again,

I just left a quick intro for myself in the introduction section so this post wouldn't be quite so long and drawn out but I'm hoping to get some insight on something I'm going through.
When I began wearing 24/7 almost 7 years ago, I could not get through any online search on the topic of incontinence or diapers without at least half of it coming up abdl or other fetish related stuff. I quickly developed a deep dislike and distrust for the community. After I joined an online forum much like this one that had both abdl and incontinence section, my dislike for the abdl's went up a few notches after having people tell me I was "lucky to have a reason to wear a diaper".
I finally left that forum for another that is STRICTLY incontinence only and learned a lot and felt much more comfortable. What has changed recently is that I have been looking and trying other products that are flurting with the abdl side of things. After several years of using cloth diapers, I was shopping around for other plastic pants and found some solid color ones from kins. The quality of their pants were so much better then the leak masters I had been using but the only colors they had were blue, red, yellow and white. The colors seemed a bit silly but I got to liking the lighter side of things and not taking it so serious all the time.
A few weeks ago, I got some samples from Northshore of some new product going on line soon. In the samples were the supreme with the new waist band, BetterDry and crinklz. After some internal debate I tried the crinklz and found that while they did nothing for me sexually, but I like the feeling again of making light of the situation. You see, incontinence and more specifically diapers have been such a stress for me, even to the point of having suicidal thought a few years back.
I guess my question is this, how often or how normal is it for someone dealing and living with incontinence turn to the abdl side of things as a way to cope or let off some of the stress that incontinence can bring?

Click to expand...

Ummm, thanks FemMedical....
Even though your post sounds more like a commercial then in line with the topic of the thread, thanks. Unfortunately I have little faith your system will help me much. First, I'm male and even though most of the parts are similar my #1 problem is the presence of urine in the bladder causes pain and has damaged the inner lining of my bladder. So unless your company can get me a new bladder, I'm stuck. Thanks though. Good to know people still have successful options out there.

RW

Cheshirecat,

Thank you for the PM. I still don't have messaging privileges yet but I'm thinking just three more post and I will. I'll reply properly then. But just real quick, thank you, you hit the nail on the head. Very much looking forward to getting back to you.

RW