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Hi, Reality is a big struggle.

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dogboy said:
The cantatas are amazing. There was a recording company that set out to record all the cantatas, and done with original instruments and using men and boy choirs. I think they only came out with six or so albums, but I have them. One day I'll re-buy an expensive turn table just so I can play them again.
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You are aware that there are several (almost) complete recordings of the cantatas on period instruments? I have Koopman, but there is also Suzuki, Harnoncourt/Leonhardt, Gardiner, ... I am not certain the last two ones are completely 'period proof' but they probably are. Some of the boxes are relatively cheap.

You might find this link interesting: www.allofbach.com
In the menu on the left you can choose English.
It is a project of the Netherlands Bach Society. They aim to record all known 1080 works and every week a new work is added tot the website, approx 200-250 by now (44 cantatas). They provide movies with background information and interviews (with subtitles). It is all free and of very high quality.

Btw: I am not sure we can continue our conversation here since we seem to have hijacked this thread... :smile1:
 
LittleTokio said:
Hiya, This is my first time on ABDL related Forums,Where do i start! :sweatdrop::dunno:
(Im sorry for the format, Makes it easier for me and others "Hopefully" to understand)

About me :
Im a 22 male, I enjoy gaming. PUBG, Fornite, Battalion 1944, LOL, Overwatch, Csgo. Love the competition. Helps keep my mind occupied.
Managed to make global in csgo.

Doing things with my hands (Anything DIY related)
I Finished my 3 years of Cookery & Hospitality. Came to realize a year later that this isn't what i want to be doing. Undecided on what to go for next.
I'd love to get into playing the piano.Love all types of music. Mostly classical/ Rap weirdly.

Im a fun guy. Love a good bit of banter. Very self critical and stubborn. Im feeling very conflicted. Have overwhelming thoughts of wanting to be a little girl but coming back to reality and wishing my little side was reality. Its where it makes me feel most safe.
Living with undiagnosed bipolar disorder,
Im heavily against pharmaceutical drugs.
But im beginning to struggle with overwhelming manics. Switching from low to high multiple times throughout the day.

Socially awkward. Fine around family and online. But in the real world i really struggle. Im to nervous in all aspects when it comes to relationships and sex.
I Will cry at almost anything. Happy or sad. Im an emotional person. Not emotionally unstable. Just cry a lot


What Brings me Here :

Im a ABDL little, During little time im 4 and a girl.
I love disney princess, Kitties, Nightdresses. Especially REARZ princess :)
My interest in diapers started when i was very young like 6/7 I can always remember having an interest in diapers. I think it stemmed from my bet wetting and the abuse from my step father. Psychically and mentally.

One of my worst memories was watching him burning my blanket which i was very attached. He left a big scar on me. At the time of being a child i believed he was my real dad. All i ever wanted is for his approval and for him to love me, But he just tormented and hurt me.

My mother eventually bought me a new blanket. I still have it along with my 4 newer ones. I dont know what i'd do without them. I cannot remember ever sleeping a night without them.

Being a little girl during my little time is massive for me. my half sister always seemed to get lots more attention, she was the baby of the family and had it much easier with my step father.
I was so envious and jealous of my sister because she got the approval that i never got.

I think this is why im so obsessed with wanting to be a DL/ little/ Girl.
I just feel really conflicted. So many what if's.
Wishing i could change gender. Feeling trapped in my own skin.
I want to be able to come to terms with it all, But its so hard having to accept im not going to ever be a little girl.

I get depressed from the smallest of things. When looking at clothing i wish were sized for me. In my searches for little girl clothing for someone who's 6ft its kinda hard :'(

To be able to relate to people, Most family members are aware of my fetish to be honest. i wasn't very secretive with it. They're not exactly excepting. But i tried my best to hide it.

Im really sorry for the length of the post, I've been righting this now for over 3 days. Getting stuck all the time.
All in all. Im here to grow and hopefully have a better understanding of myself.
Advice would be greatly appreciated. Also somebody to talk to.
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Too many smurfs = Supre... LE?! Quite literally what happened to me. So I quit and made Diamond in Rainbow Six Siege in less than a week of playtime.

But enough about that. (I am kinda pissed thou.) Welcome to ADISC! And fantasic intro! There are so many of us here that you'll always have someone to talk to! :D
 
ThePenguinLover said:
Too many smurfs = Supre... LE?! Quite literally what happened to me. So I quit and made Diamond in Rainbow Six Siege in less than a week of playtime.

But enough about that. (I am kinda pissed thou.) Welcome to ADISC! And fantasic intro! There are so many of us here that you'll always have someone to talk to! :D
Click to expand...


Thankyou :), Ive quit csgo recently tbh. With the lack of ban waves or any anti cheat and masses of smurfs. Its dying. Battalion 1944 is the new competitive game according to shroud :p. I've never been able to get into seige but i do have the game so i'd love a teacher xD.
 
My Mom had a very bad relationship with her Mother. She only started getting therapy for it when I was 4. She was looking for a therapist for me and my sister at the time. It changed her life for the better in so many ways overtime. From what I observed with my Mom's treatment I'd recommend that you mourn the lack of a father figure in your life, but DO NOT try to look for that in your step father. I say both because I know from experience that the best way to get a bully to victimize you is to try to befriend them and because of my Mom's progression. Also, even if he's suddenly feeling bad about what he did don't give him forgiveness since he doesn't deserve it. Also, My Mom slowly became happier once she let go of her Mother's influence. She's a lot less stressed now and she never used to laugh but she does now.

Thus I'd highly recommend seeing a therapist about your past trauma. I've seen it work wonders before. I second that because you don't want medication. I'm sorry if this sounds pushy but I really want to be helpful here.

I sometimes wonder if I like the idea of roleplaying a 4 year old boy still in diapers because I was potty trained when I turned 4 and after that I started Kindergarten with a very strict teacher and my life was very difficult until 5th grade. Thus I don't think you need to feel alone or awkward about wanting little girl time. As long as you do it respectfully you don't need to worry about enjoying it at all.

Also, I think that some of my ABDL desires were shaped by past events since I want to try wearing a skirt during playtime. Not because of a gender identity thing but because one of my favorite ABDL art pieces that I found during a troubled time was of a boy in a skirt. Thus you don't need to feel alone about that either.

edit: I guess that sounded a little harsh and bossy, sorry about that.
 
Welcome,
I agree with Scaramouche we have all had similar situations.
It took me a long time to get comfortable with other knowing about. my diapers. Now, I look at it as no more than others wearing their favorite undergarments or going commando.
I do not flaunt nor deny my choice of underwear. It does give me a feeling of confidence and security I have not had for decades.
Weather a Big or Little, or just someone that finds a nappy comfortable, one has to decide for themselves.
It took me years to tell even my Doctors about my preference of undergarments.
I suggest being patient and don't be afraid to seek professional help. This really boosted comfort, confidence and self esteem, and most confronting for you.
Welcome and wishing you a happy and helpful experience.
 
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