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Thread: Advice for my BF that is a NoN Babyfur

  1. #1

    Default Advice for my BF that is a NoN Babyfur

    Hey, Just wanna start off to say that im Astro a husky from maine. I love cons and being a DJ/Music producer. Anyways My Boyfreind is Non ABDL, he lets me wear when he is not home and with other babyfurs if i get a chance. I just wanna know if there are anyways i could maybe talk to him about my love for being a babyfur, i wanted to work up and get to the point that i can Pad up under clothes with him around. just like underwear lol, but he just thinks that its a issue with me and i will get over it. He loves me and i love him soo much, im going to see a therapist about my issue, but i really dont think i have an addiction. I just want him to understand me better and my babyfur side. Please help a baby in need...Thank you also if you ever wanna talk i have telegram just message me its @Astroknot

  2. #2

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    Have you not got a response yet? I don't frequent here too much, or I'd have answered sooner. Well, I guess I have some questions first. Have you ever really delved into a discussion with him about this? Also, is he a fur, too? Reason I ask is because if he's not, he may think you abdl preferences are inherently tied to the furry interest as well.

  3. #3

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    Make sure your abdl/furry side isn't something he wants you to keep hidden from him. This is an indication he does not accept any of it.

    Also make sure he understands this is a part of who you are, not just something you do. Him not accepting it, is literally no different than him being unable to accept the full you. (A certain disaster for long term relationships).

  4. #4

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    He is a furry and we go to cons regularly. I have developed into a discussion just he dosnt like baby things and diapers.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroTheHusky View Post
    He is a furry and we go to cons regularly. I have developed into a discussion just he dosnt like baby things and diapers.
    It's perfectly fine that he doesn't like your being abdl. But he does have to accept that you do. He has to accpt and allow you to wear at home, and to cons too (under your costume/clothes at least)

    Him forcing you to keep it hidden from him is not healthy for your relationship in the long run.

  6. #6

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    That's completely understandable. The issue is you need to make it clear to him that it's a part of who you are and that aspect will simply not just go away. As Slomo has stated, he will have to find a way to grow comfortable with the idea. The best way to become comfortable is to be exposed to it over time.

  7. #7

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    UPDATE: So he told me the other day...I either want to stop wearing diapers or be with him. Im scared, i still want to wear but i love him to much to juat let go. he tried to understand the diaper stuff for some time.

  8. #8

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    Hi Astro,

    I don't know if I can help, but I'm going to try. I am someone who was always interested in kink, but never diapers. Then I met and married FluffyTheGryphon, and learned how to embrace being a carer for someone who identifies as ABDL. Maybe this will help.

    When I met Fluffy, he talked to me about diapers before we married. That allowed me time to let him know I was open to easing my way into having diapers in my life. We took it slowly and discussed why diapers mattered to him. Now, diapers have an almost daily place in our lives, and I enjoy the trust and intimacy we share as a result.

    Telling anyone you are an ABDL involves a great deal of trust and you have done the right thing by initiating those discussions. Considering he gave you an ultimatum, it sounds like the diapers are a deal-breaker for him, which makes me sad.

    These are questions you certainly don't have to answer, but for you to consider: How long have you two been together and communicating about this? In what way has he tried to understand? Has he done any reading (of good, reputable books) on the topic of ADBL?

    I don't know if reading about ADBL would help your boyfriend at all, but he could try a couple of books, if he's willing. There are two very good ones currently available on Amazon in Kindle Unlimited that I recommend to anyone who seeks to understand their ABDL partner. They might help ease his mind in seeing that there's nothing weird about this. Also, have you told him why this is something you enjoy and why it is important to you?

    It's an unfortunate truth that not everyone is accepting or understanding when it comes to ABDLs. Does he understand that the positive feelings that come from wearing diapers are not something you can simply switch off? Does he also know the diapers not a replacement for his love, affection, and cuddles?

    Do you want diapers to be a part of your relationship or something that you can do on your own time, so long as he doesn't mind?

    I know that's a lot to examine and consider and, like I said, I'm not looking for you to answer here. I'm sharing thoughts and asking questions in hopes that you will both be able to have a productive dialogue and move forward together.

    As far as therapy, I wouldn't consider being ABDL an "issue" that you need to go to a therapist for. A therapist's job is to help you connect with and love yourself, which quite possibly includes loving the fact that you are ABDL. Of course, I don't know you, so I can't speak very specifically to your situation. But if you feel in any way that therapy would be helpful, it's important to go to someone who won't judge and try to "fix" you, but reassure and listen to you. Good luck!

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroTheHusky View Post
    UPDATE: So he told me the other day...I either want to stop wearing diapers or be with him. Im scared, i still want to wear but i love him to much to juat let go. he tried to understand the diaper stuff for some time.
    Although I've had success with extended periods of not wearing, I don't think I'd commit to it, even for someone I loved. The thoughts continue whether I wear or not. I can be generally satisfied with fantasy but acting on it when I choose is much better. I don't think his request for you to stop is reasonable, it's not tolerance. Frankly, having experienced how good it is with someone who participates, I don't think I'd accept tolerance as enough but we each have to decide that for ourselves.

    The sooner you can work out for yourself if this is something you can live with the better. I think I'd be regretfully ending things in that case and giving you both the opportunity to find someone better.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by AstroTheHusky View Post
    UPDATE: So he told me the other day...I either want to stop wearing diapers or be with him. Im scared, i still want to wear but i love him to much to juat let go. he tried to understand the diaper stuff for some time.
    If he really can't accept this one part of who you are, then exactly how much of you does he accept? You may love him, but he obviously does not love you.

    You already know we can't stop loving diapers in spite of how much we may want to. Time to move on.

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