Diapers made me an introvert?

I've had a fascination with diapers ever since I was very young. Probably 6 at least. Like many of us, before I got on the internet and realized I wasn't alone, I felt great shame for my desires. I'd be in a group of other kids thinking, "they don't feel like me, I'm not normal..." and I wasn't very outgoing. Having that constant shame in the back of my mind I think made me develop into a pretty quiet withdrawn guy.

Years later, happily married and having a pretty great life, I've accepted who I am and that constant shame is no longer there. But the affects of it growing up I feel like are still there.

To be honest, I think you'd likely have those same feelings growing up even if you didn't have the diapers to pin it on. You'd likely pick something else out as the primary reason for feeling like an outcast, because everyone feels that way at some time or another... some people still do!

As far as accepting yourself as a DL, that's the best you can get - sounds like you're at the level of a diapered zen master now! Time to start helping others out on this forum now

i had that a bit in school as well. i was a bed wetter and discovering that i was DL. i felt that was on display to everyone at school. but i slowly realized that that is just a part of who i am and they didnt need to know about that part. when i was older and was able to buy better diapers i was a bit of an introvert because i wanted to wear my diaper and not have my family find out so i would stay away alot. i had to learn how to balance my diaper wearing and life. now i can comfortably do both. it really comes down to being comfortable with yourself. you know they say " you must be you, cause no one else can do it better" or something like that.

PlotTwist said:

To be honest, I think you'd likely have those same feelings growing up even if you didn't have the diapers to pin it on. You'd likely pick something else out as the primary reason for feeling like an outcast, because everyone feels that way at some time or another... some people still do!

As far as accepting yourself as a DL, that's the best you can get - sounds like you're at the level of a diapered zen master now! Time to start helping others out on this forum now

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One last hurdle before zen master status - explaining everything to my wife who has no idea that I've been getting and using diapers.

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dlboylife said:

i had that a bit in school as well. i was a bed wetter and discovering that i was DL. i felt that was on display to everyone at school. but i slowly realized that that is just a part of who i am and they didnt need to know about that part. when i was older and was able to buy better diapers i was a bit of an introvert because i wanted to wear my diaper and not have my family find out so i would stay away alot. i had to learn how to balance my diaper wearing and life. now i can comfortably do both. it really comes down to being comfortable with yourself. you know they say " you must be you, cause no one else can do it better" or something like that.

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Staying away from people so you can wear and being introverted that way makes sense. But I felt introverted long before I was in a place where I could obtain and use diapers. I work from home a lot so that gives me good chances to wear, but yeah you have to balance and make sure it's not interfering with your social or work life.

As an adult, I’ve wondered sometimes if my diapers have affected my personality...made me more reserved, shy, introverted, or anti social. Obviously some of those things are not bad per se - but I’ve wondered if my natural inclination would otherwise be to be outgoing and super social... I do know that I have at times shied away from certain social situations because I was wearing a diaper or wanted to wear a diaper instead. I realize this sounds dysfunctional and like maybe indicative of a problematic relationship with diapers - and maybe it is. But I wonder if in some ways it’s also a little normal. If you have this really strong desire to do something that is not socially acceptable, then you’re either going to deny that which for most of us is not possible long-term, or you’re going to do it separated from other people.

That all is notwithstanding the confidence hit many of us have taken because of shame over our diaper desires. Even though I feel like I’ve dealt with that Shame today, for many years it really affected me in negative ways I’m sure.

Anyway I think it is a interesting line of thought and one that I’ve considered more than once in the last few years,. I wouldn’t be surprised if my diaper habit has in fact affected my personality even if in a small way anyway I think it is a interesting line of thought and one that I’ve considered more than once in the last few years,. I wouldn’t be surprised if my diaper habit has in fact affected my personality even if in a small way..

I should say that I see myself as decidedly introverted, I feel as though I get recharged by being alone and spending time in intense conversation With people tends to drain me. And yet I really love people and sometimes wish I spent more time with them, had closer connections, and more regular interactions.

cm90210 said:

As an adult, I’ve wondered sometimes if my diapers have affected my personality...

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I relate with so much of your post. I think for me a lot of the shame I felt is due to my parents and how they reacted when they found diapers in my room when I was 11 or so. My mom pulled them out in front of the whole family and shamed me bitterly on the spot. To this day some 17 years later I have never had a more traumatic experience than that day. And experiencing that and not understanding myself or be able to talk with anyone else that would understand... It was quite painful and really drove the feeling that something was wrong with me and other people didn't feel like me and could never understand me.

In my adult years now a major part of accepting myself was forgiving my parents for that day. They didn't know what they were doing. Now I know that everyone has a kink or secret and it's ok as long as no one is getting hurt. Everyone doesn't have to understand and you don't have to justify yourself to everyone. I don't plan to ever tell them or explain what I now know about myself. I still don't think they'd understand.

I've also occasionally foregone socializing because it was an opportunity for me to wear. But, I've found that wearing fairly regularly at times that do not sacrifice socializing or other parts of my life, keeps those intense desires to wear instead of socialize. I used to try to ignore my feelings but learned that that only makes them worse. I feel like I've found stability in my desires by having some routine with them so the desire doesn't build up to the binge phase. I work from home about half the time so those are perfect times for me to wear.

Anyway thanks for sharing your thoughts. It sounds like we have a lot in common

Throughout my life, there was always this looming sense of "I'm different". But although I spent a lot of time alone as a kid, it's kind of a 'chicken or the egg' argument of whether or not my diaper loving caused any of this or not. Sure, having more time alone gave me more time to explore my strange fascinations, but maybe that alone time would have been there any way, leading to other interests etc.

What I do know now, looking back, is that diapers and fantasies having to do with diapers were a great source of excitement, wonder, mystery, and overall happiness as a kid. The real inner-struggle didn't really start until later in life. Sure, the feeling of having to keep a hefty and confusing secret, experiencing strange urges, and dealing with compulsion was somewhat difficult as a child, but I had loving parents, a warm family, and tons of great friends. My childhood was blessed, and nearly everyone is trying to figure themselves out at that point in life.

So, I can't really say that being an ABDL entirely shaped who I am, but It taught me a lot of hard learned lessons.

You guys and me too. I am absolutely an introvert. I can say for certain my love for diapers made me feel different from everyone else when I was little.

First of all my disclaimer: I am not a psychologist. But I am interested in this topic because I am very much an introvert myself and have been looking for explanations.

Being introverted or extraverted is probably much more genetically determined and inborn than it is influenced by experiences in life. Actually I think being introverted has little or nothing to do with having ABDL interests. But being introverted will of course determine how you deal with being ABDL, what your coping strategy is. And there are character traits that could well develop during life and that are often confused with introversion, like shyness.

"Quiet" from Susan Cain is an interesting book if you like to read more about introversion.

I think as I age more that I will enjoy being a hermit, I enjoy myself when I am alone and always have, diapered or not, I can go days without seeing other people and be very happy with that. Is it due to being a wetter /DL I'm no AB at all just a pee freak lol.

PlotTwist said:

To be honest, I think you'd likely have those same feelings growing up even if you didn't have the diapers to pin it on. You'd likely pick something else out as the primary reason for feeling like an outcast, because everyone feels that way at some time or another... some people still do!

As far as accepting yourself as a DL, that's the best you can get - sounds like you're at the level of a diapered zen master now! Time to start helping others out on this forum now

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I completely agree with this comment. The way you were as a kid is similar to how I was and I can tell you it was not because of your interest in diapers or anything else. It is just how you are as a person, nothing wrong with it. It seems like everything has turned out well for you in the long run, besides the still needing to tell your wife part. However, I am sure telling her will come with time.

Makubird said:

"Quiet" from Susan Cain is an interesting book if you like to read more about introversion.

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Great recommendation BTW. It’s an excellent read. I particularly like how she emphasizes and reemphasizes over and over again that being an introvert isn’t a BAD thing... American culture (and I’m guessing others as well) tends to put the concept of extroversion and charisma on a crazy pedestal, when most of the people who accomplish great things of consequence are themselves introverts! Her invitation to value that impulse in ourselves as introverts was very very liberating for me to read.

I guess I would make the point that in my above post, when I mentioned introversion, I think I had more in mind, a tendency to be anti-social. Avoiding people altogether is not a hallmark of introversion - it is something else entirely...and for me, not something I want in my life, or to encourage. Sometimes diapers cause me to choose anti-social behavior or to get into anti-social patterns...in ways that are ultimately destructive to who and what i want to be in the world.

There was another thread on here not that long ago - about having Balance... I think that’s what I seek the most. It’s not trying to get rid of diapers altogether...but just making sure they have their proper place, and that they’re not usurping other priorities.


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cm90210 said:

There was another thread on here not that long ago - about having Balance... I think that’s what I seek the most. It’s not trying to get rid of diapers altogether...but just making sure they have their proper place, and that they’re not usurping other priorities.

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That's exactly what I would say. Trying to suppress the desire altogether can be harmful but if you make a place for them, it can be a very positive thing actually. If I'm stressed about something, no matter how intense, a few hours of diapers does wonders for my soul. We're actually lucky that we have outlet.

This is where it tend to be different from most here, I am an extrovert. I am happy with 30 people around me and I get energized there. I do like a little alone time when I need to think. However diapers haven't held me away from people. I still like to be near people. I am comfortable being around people if they can't see the diaper.

It's been very hard to be diapered around my wife even with her just knowing I am wearing.

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:twocents:
For myself, I feel that somehow the irrationality of my ABDL side has always kept my head from swelling up too much so that I become too much of an opinionated SOB about one thing or another. It's taught me to be more accepting of those who differ from me, as my ABDL side seems to "differ from me" so much, how can I reject the differences of others when I have this great big stash of somewhat "different" diapers that I haven't really got a good firm rational explanation for myself?

I like to believe that when the "scripts for our lives" were written, we had some say in what psychological ingredients might work best as being parts of our lives. Please forgive me for this "theological aside," but I've heard theories like this, where say an alcoholic had a "Near Death Experience" and came back, and while away he found out that his struggle with alcoholism was an "ingredient" that he had agreed to for this lifetime, to learn humility.

So with that theory in my mind, I would say that on one level, yes, my ABDL side has caused me to be more introverted, but if my theological theory is/ were correct, then on some deeper and truer level, I may have caused myself to have an ABDL side, who knows?

At any rate, my theory and about $1.50 these days might get you a cup of coffee, if you're lucky.


Yooda

I doubt that being an ABDL made me an introvert. However, I think that it's something that works well with introverts. In the same way that being tall might help in basketball but lots of tall people aren't interested or have other failings that incline them away from it, I think they're merely compatible. I wouldn't be at all surprised to find that it contributed to or reinforced those tendencies (along with other personality aspects) but I doubt it spurred them on its own.

:twocents:

TheMat said:

One last hurdle before zen master status - explaining everything to my wife who has no idea that I've been getting and using diapers.

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Yes TheMat,

That hurdle sounds like something that may require some work on your part, and on the part of your wife. My first marriage was entered into with my wife's full access to my ABDL side, but she never accepted it. I insisted before we got married that she see me wearing a diaper at least once. So she did agree to that, but we never talked about her or my feelings about it ever after that one uncomfortable "encounter."

Obviously that inability to accept on her part at least contributed somewhat to our eventual divorce. My inability at the time to "tease out" both of our feelings about this at the time, probably also contributed to our eventual divorce. There were also many other contributing factors, which I won't bore you with here. Now I know my next marriage will have to be with someone who is able to better understand, and therefore accept this part of me.

I now hope that my next relationship might be with someone who is able to talk openly with me about their own "irrational side," (which I now believe everyone has, whether they like it or not), just as easily as I will have to be willing to talk with them openly about my own "irrational ABDL side." A tall order, which I realize may never be filled, but which I have reason to hope will yet be filled.

Ultimately, I think that the first person in a relationship that must learn to fully understand and accept an "irrational side" is the one with the "irrational side." Why and how could we ever expect another to accept this part of us fully, if we haven't yet figured out how to fully accept and integrate it into our own lives first?

Yooda

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We are stardust, we are golden, and we've got to find our way back to the garden…

I'm of the opinion that introversion/extroversion is a thing you're born with. I think of them as whether one gains energy from groups of people or gains energy from being alone (or with a small number of very close friends only). The social skills can be learned on both sides. I'm an introvert, but I'm very confident socializing with people and moving about a party because I've had a lot of practice and consciously made some efforts to learn it. I know some people who are extroverts but have learned how to be by themselves and entertain themselves. What I don't think can be changed is which situations are energizing. Socializing at a party for me takes effort, I'll get tired if I have to go out a lot, and I get energy back from spending time by myself. Some other people are the reverse, and I think that's really what defines an introvert/extrovert.

Because of that, I think diapers can fit into being an introvert, since they're generally an activity to enjoy by yourself or with just one other person. But, one could be an extrovert and still enjoy wearing diapers during the times when you have to be alone, perhaps as a comfort in a situation that isn't otherwise that comfortable for the extroverted person.

I did tell her during marriage counseling before we got married, kind of briefly and not a lot of detail. Honestly (get ready to laugh) I thought my DL desires would fade away once married. Ha.
I think she'll try to understand. I just, don't really want her to see me in a diaper. Kind of the way I don't want her to see me in pain.

TheMat said:

I did tell her during marriage counseling before we got married, kind of briefly and not a lot of detail. Honestly (get ready to laugh) I thought my DL desires would fade away once married. Ha.
I think she'll try to understand. I just, don't really want her to see me in a diaper. Kind of the way I don't want her to see me in pain.

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That sounds pretty similar to my marriage, and I too hoped that maybe these desires would go away and leave me alone, which surprise! Still here!! That step of yours alone, your letting her know before you got married, in my humble opinion was quite huge.

In my book, that step really allows for a much much higher level of honesty and integrity in your marriage. In my own marriage, I would have to say that my ABDL side probably only contributed to maybe 10% of the weight of the many reasons why we divorced. Even then, that 10% was something that probably had more to do with a generally low level of ability for my wife and I to openly and honestly share our truest feelings with one another, than specifically with my ABDL side.

When I hear of ABDL's who have kept this part of themselves entirely secret in their marriages, that tends to cause little "alarm bells" to go off in my head. I've heard many a sad tale in that instance. In my own case, my divorce was relatively painless, and my ex and I are still on pretty good speaking terms.

Yooda