a little confused

Hello, this is my first post! Anyways I'm new to this forum and incontinence all together. I think it's awesome that there is a community for inc people and AB/DL.

Growing up, I always thought it was a little funny or ridiculous to see someone other than a baby, child, or old person in a diaper. I probably even made fun of someone at some point as a kid for it. That's karma I guess I mean think about seeing someone with a diaper fetish or someone that actually needs one for medical reasons on TV or in a movie. They made/make it seem so gross/funny/stigmatized and that's just how I thought growing up because that's how the media made/makes us all think.

Now that I'm older and unfortunately need night protection, I obviously understand much better now about people that wear them for medical needs or for pleasure and I support them! I will admit that I am not an AB or DL, but I do find these disposable briefs surprisingly comfy and it's nice to feel secure at night again! I do understand the "safe" and "comforting" when wearing them. The dating scene is a little intimidating with IBS and I have no idea how I would tell a girl i'm dating about my issue/need, but hope I just meet someone in a similar situation or someone who just fully understands mine. Are AB/DL people into people who need to use protection for medical purposes? Or is it more of a fantasy thing. I wouldn't judge a girl for wanting to wear one if she didn't judge me for needing to wear one.

Reading stories about others in a similar situation to mine is very helpful knowing I'm not alone and that IBS is actually very common! Did you know 10-15% of the worldwide population is estimated to have some form of IBS? Not so lonely now are we? Anyways, I'm not much of a reader and I never post on forums, but my point is that some of the stories I have read have helped me feel more secure about having IBS and others have made me feel concerned for communities like this and people involved in them.

So I understand the sexual side people have towards diapers and I respect them with that. I do not judge a persons sexual desires as long as it's legal and consensual on all sides, but I've come across more than a couple of posts about people who use them deliberately in public around other innocent unknowing people or wear them around others for sexual arousal and I think that is really wrong.

If you are reading this and you disagree with me, just hear me out. Imagine you are with your s/o or family in the park walking along and you see Neo from the f***ing matrix in a trench coat jerking it while looking at you and your s/o or family. Would't you be creeped out or understandably upset? I know that someone using their diaper in public isn't necessarily masturbating in public, but if it's for sexual arousal, it might as well be the same thing even if they don't "touch themselves". It's like forcing an innocent person into your sexual fantasy without their knowledge or consent and that is wrong in my opinion.

If people stay at home and perform their desires or want to go out in nature to perform them with nobody else around, then I don't have an issue with that, but people gotta leave innocent people out of their fetishes. The most recent and disturbing one I read was this guy who posted craigslist ads for at home care so he could get his diaper changed. He pretended to be mentally handicapped and had like 5 different nurses come over the course of some time and they changed his diapers thinking they were doing their jobs as professionals when he was in fact using them for his sexual fetish. He was eventually caught, arrested, and charged (thank god). That's on a whole different level of messed up and gives a bad name to the AB/DL community. Anyways, that's my two cents. What are your opinions? Thanks for reading!

Hello and warm welkome from a fairly newcommer her self to another, reg the telling a new date i would hold on on telling about this particular part until IF things do move on so to say no need to scare her of then if she trully loves and care for you she should be able to find a way to cope with youre specifik needs due to medical reasons , the first AB question i leave to others to anwer as they are better suited then me. i was actually around youre age when i got my IBS diagnoze and im trully sorry for you BUT its NOT the end of the world just takes some extra tweeks and preporations so to say. Well in al honesty as long as it legal and DONT bother others (incl trying to force on others youre fetisch as well as you say mastrubate in public ) i honetly dont see whats so wrong with it.

The most recent and disturbing one I read was this guy who posted craigslist ads for at home care so he could get his diaper changed. He pretended to be mentally handicapped and had like 5 different nurses come over the course of some time and they changed his diapers thinking they were doing their jobs as professionals when he was in fact using them for his sexual fetish. He was eventually caught, arrested, and charged (thank god). That's on a whole different level of messed up and gives a bad name to the AB/DL community.

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This particualar case tho is as LOW as it can get And what im refering to is the fact that he pretended to be mentally handicaped & used profetional aid fore his fetisch & i agree that was a bad apple in the AB DL comunity BUT we mustent forget that we cant judge the entire ABDL comunity based on a few bad inviduals

Yes, and no. There's nothing wrong with bring sexually aroused. Even if it's wetting your diaper in front of or around people. It'd be like "how sick are you too have an erection just for looking at an attractive person". What ever turns you on may be wired to others or social norms but as long as you aren't physically involving people like that that Craig's list guy there's nothing legally wrong with it. That's what I think, it is my opinion on the matter and everyone is entitled to their opinion.

I guess I can understand where you're coming from, but I don't agree with the erection thing. I think those two things are not very comparable as one is natural and the other is chosen. You don't always choose when you get boners, but unless you are incontinent, you are choosing to use a diaper in public for sexual gratification and I guess I just can't fully agree with it. I just imagine myself on the subway with my friends and someone comes up next to us and "uses" their diaper on purpose just to get turned on and go home and masturbate about it. I mean the subway already smells like shit, my friends and I don't need to be breathing more of it in (remember whatever you smell, the particles from that smell are in you ) nor be part of the sexual act that we never asked to be a part of. I really do understand your point of view, I just don't agree with it. If you took a poll on any given day and asked everybody on the train who thought it was okay for you to deliberately poop your diaper standing next to them to raise their hand, I doubt you would get more than one. I say at least one because there's always one crazy person on the train wouldn't know what their voting for. but do you get where I'm coming from?

Missy1 said:

This particualar case tho is as LOW as it can get And what im refering to is the fact that he pretended to be mentally handicaped & used profetional aid fore his fetisch & i agree that was a bad apple in the AB DL comunity BUT we mustent forget that we cant judge the entire ABDL comunity based on a few bad inviduals

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Yeah it's too bad when one person can change the outlook on a whole community or group of people. I have only recently learned about AB/DL through my search for IBS support groups. I think it's a pretty harmless and cute kink out of all of the kinks I've seen in person and online. cheers.

Then we both agree

Welcome to the forum, newtoinc. I'm either about to hit or have hit the end of my fifth year, depending on whether you count the first signs or the point at which it became extreme enough to need diapers 24/7. But I'm OAB. My husband, OTOH, though he's never been diagnosed, seems to have IBS. There is a pair of trousers hanging in our bathroom right now that were messed yesterday; he doesn't feel he needs protection because the accidents aren't too frequent.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and to let you know this is a good place to be.

Kerry

Thanks for the kind words Kerry!

You've got to realise the vast majorty are not into sexual diapers, but are purely ab or dl. Abdl is NOT sexual, a fetish, or a kink. It is a part of who we are, in wanting to enjoy the feeling of a diaper or pursue the experiences of a baby. But for whatever the reason someone is abdl, people naturally want to be with like minded people or to share similar experiences with. And yes, for some that absolutely can include a dl who wants to be with someone who is only incontinent.

Seperate to that, I agree those with a diaper fetish or kink absolutely should be keeping their sexual interest inside and to themselves or with their significant others. As is the same with any fetish or kink, sex is a personal thing. Unfortunately there are always attention seekers out there who will go out of their way to involve the public when they know they shouldn't. Diapers not withstanding.

As a disabled guy , I don't like when people Act the way the think a life with a disability is because they never get it right.

However if an ABDL were desperate to have someone change them , and they were up front with the Personal Care Aide that they are hiring them for a couple hours a few days a week to be played with and changes, I see that better than hiring a hooker to go to some filthy dump and pay by the hour to get a disease , I also know if you hire a PCA HIPPA protects you from them disclosing what they see or do or do for you .
I am in a power wheelchair from a rare disease and back 4 years ago I was brain injured during resuscitation from cardiac arrest , there are a few of us here who have real disabilities and I think it's safe to say are therefore fun to watch , but trying to dramatize a disability to get some sexual jollies is pathetic , let people know the real you even if it's the sexual fetish you , like I say if you have the coin and really want it , that's fine but to lure someone into it by deception is hideous , my own aide knows there cooking cleaning and sometimes changing my diapers but my disabilities are no form of act and if i could get rid of them and go finish my career in the fire department and go back to the life I loved it wouldn't even take thought.

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