Diagnosis with Incontinence and feeling alone

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Ebabyboy12

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So I’ve officially been diagnosed with inconinence and I’m feeling so alone. Wearing diapers all day and every day is not all that. I would give just about anything to go back to underwear. I cannot talk to anyone about it. My wife knows and is supporting but doesn’t like to talk about it. I try sometimes to go undiapered and it never fails I end up wetting myself and everything around me. Just really frustrated and hope the neurologist can provide answers in April. In the meantime I hope I cam come to terms with it. Any suggestions? I know this isn’t a chat line but I would love to find someone I can talk with.
 
IC is an annoyance , I know in the early days it seems more like a life sentence! It takes some adjusting and yes a little wetting things as you test your limits.
I'm not even 50 and been in diapers 24 years, not that I'm bragging , but i have experience. If you ever want to talk PM me , yes it seems very lonely but its not as bad as you think, it takes time to understand & accept that , I am also diabetic when that first happened I hid my needles and didn't talk about , now I don't care if someone sees me do my shot before I eat , if they are foolish enough to think I am doing drugs, I don't care , I am living my life , diapers are pretty much the same way ,in the early days I stressed about them and hid them and did everything I could to minimize there existence , including over dressing to conceal them ,no I don't invite people to watch me change, but i dont hide them and live in fear or over dress to hide them anymore, for us diapers are just a fact of life ,we eliminate bodily waste like everyone else on earth does just in a slightly different method of containment , we didn't invent it they have existed for thousands of years in one form or another doing the same job, so they urge to hide them or deny them is societal stupidity .

No shouting from the rooftops your IC isn't high on my list of things to do, but sharing it with those around you helps a lot on the loneliness .
People are squeamish about going to the bathroom as rule , so it's a hard conversation to have when your method changes especially when there are still people running around loose who were raised & potty trained with only babies wear diapers .

So you are not alone despite how you feel , and you have found a good safe place here , we are all diapers wearers and some users be it medical or recreational ,
I kinda have blurred the line (I am known for my belief that God made me IC ,but i reserve the right not to be miserable over it and enjoy it ) sounds weird right ?
But I play "diaper games" when i have nothing more important to do , or my diaper has to be reliable and not fail , I am trying to wear ever adult diaper for at least one full day of changes to decide if its garbage or good . We all have different dimensions and like different things about how a particular diaper or absorbency behaves , so i try them all and decide how they are based on what i like , diapers arent an option but the kind is , and with ABDL makers popping up there is an entire new world of "diaper games" available to the brave (or crazy?), of course i have worn every medical diaper known and some of them can generaly be described best as being what they were designed to contain.

So don't hold back the members of this community have literaly 100's of years of knowledge about wearing and using diapers , so you can really talk about all things diaper related and someone will identify with it and respond , when I was first IC there was no real internet , I lucked out and had friends who were what's now called ABDL, who were able to help me in accepting, coping, and those things that average people don't talk about like tape placement for a better fit, and how to park, how to conceal . Of course before the internet many people lived in silence , the IC were on there own, and people who liked diapers thought they were all alone in there liking diapers nobody else could possibly like these things ? Now we all swim together and share information and exchange knowledge.
So don't be lonely engage with people here until you know your actual medical situation and options as a prelude to talking to your people in the physical world .


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Telta - thanks so much for the response. It’s nice to know that it can be accepted overtime. It’s extremely difficult to imagine the rest of my life being in diapers. Some days fee like an eternity. I guess over time it gets easier. I’ll definitely send you a PM sometime. I actually have been a DL for a long time and wore on and off for a lot of years. It’s now that I don’t have a choice that makes my situation so daunting. I never thought to myself I would end up become inconitent. My Dr has stayed I’ll probably have to self cath long term and I can’t emagine cathing doesn’t bring diapers with it as I’m still leaking and having accidents between cathing.
 
Hi Ehorton

Sorry to hear you are now officially medically incontinent, I have beed dealing with it for 3 years and it does get easier to deal with as time goes by and you accept your need for diapers 24/7

Remember you are not alone and we are all here to help and support each other, over all incontinence has not changed the way I live my life much its just added a few extra steps in planning trips and over night stays.

all my family and my close friends know I am back in diapers for a bladder and unfortunately now a few bowel issues. its made dealing with diapers a whole lot easier (no need to hide the need for changes)

wearing diapers quickly becomes an non issue as you get use to wearing and changing in public (no one really notices or cares they see your diaper)
as long as you are confident and dont look stressed when disposing your diapers or when you are peeing no one will be the wiser.

Just make sure you wear premium quality diapers like betterdry or northshores supremes they are a thicker diaper but work great and its better to have a slight buldge then worry about a thiner diaper that may leak.
 
Rob110 said:
Hi Ehorton

Sorry to hear you are now officially medically incontinent, I have beed dealing with it for 3 years and it does get easier to deal with as time goes by and you accept your need for diapers 24/7

Remember you are not alone and we are all here to help and support each other, over all incontinence has not changed the way I live my life much its just added a few extra steps in planning trips and over night stays.

all my family and my close friends know I am back in diapers for a bladder and unfortunately now a few bowel issues. its made dealing with diapers a whole lot easier (no need to hide the need for changes)

wearing diapers quickly becomes an non issue as you get use to wearing and changing in public (no one really notices or cares they see your diaper)
as long as you are confident and dont look stressed when disposing your diapers or when you are peeing no one will be the wiser.

Just make sure you wear premium quality diapers like betterdry or northshores supremes they are a thicker diaper but work great and its better to have a slight buldge then worry about a thiner diaper that may leak.

Thanks for the support. I’m currently using NorthShore Supreme Diapers. They are extremely bulky and swell but I’ll take that over leaks. I used to use tranquility ATN and had several leaks one in public. Never want to go through that again. I’m sure it gets easier over time and I hope that comes sooner rather than later.
 
For bathrooms go yo Google play store or the Coloplast website and dowload "Wheelmate" it Will use the GPS I in your device to tell you the nearest bathroom and anything it knows sbout it like wheelchair accessible family style , cleaning and maintenance it also lets you enter any new ones you may discover anything you know about them , allows you to rate them and have a personal favorites list , it works everywhere in the world . It makes finding good changing places a snap!

It's an app specifically for bathrooms and as far as I know the only one !

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The need for diapers should never make you feel alone. They are what helps you get back out and be social again. And as you found out, it's important to use good quality diapers you can trust won't leak on you.

Also, there are literally millions of adult diapers sold every single year. You are far from the only one dealing with incontinence. True diapers are not something leople normally talk about, but so are boxers and briefs. It's just another type of "underwear" in this regard.
 
I can easily relate to youre feelings reg this diagnose & the feeling of being alone in the world and noone to talk to on this as well as facing the what i would belive youre feeeling of humiation of having to go back and wear diapers again as an adult. I was in the same situation as you 6 month ago when i finally had to accept I need to wear diapers 24 /7 (started with IBS progressed to fecal & added started with Minor progressing to Moderate urine incontinece going worse and progress as time goes.) However as the others have sed its NOT the end of the world and youre defenetly not even close to being alone. More and more develop this medical problems. And as far as i have understood this those with only Urine Inc have a higher chance of geting medical help then those with added Fecal so i wouldent give up just yet. Now reg youre wife may i sugest you give her some time to get her head around al this as im shore this must have comed like a bomb from the sky to her as well and im shore with some time she will be able to talk to you about al this , just DONT try to force this subjeckt on her and try to give her some time dear & as you say youre self she is suporting you on this so i would give her some time .

Now reg the coming to terms with it . The way i see things is that i rather have the safety of the diaper and al the other " incovinences" rather then risk having an accident. Not to mention dont have to feel afraid al the time fore that accident waiting to accure when ever however werever (i should ad like you it NEVER fails if i dare to try just one day it GUARANTEED to have a accident within a few hours to half a day unless i have the luck of being near a bathroom and can get there and take my seat FAST. So again its basikly a quesion of (at the moment ) no choice in the matter and just as there is al cinds of medical suplies for al cinds of other medical iccues diapers are there to help us get our lifes back rather then having to live our lifes around and very close to a bathroom 24 /7. And lasty there is NOTHING to be ashamed for having to wear diapers on the count of you having a medical need for it. I actually seriosly dought that most will even reconice them as they have more important things to worry about then spotting for diapers .
 
Ehorton said:
So I’ve officially been diagnosed with inconinence and I’m feeling so alone. Wearing diapers all day and every day is not all that. I would give just about anything to go back to underwear. I cannot talk to anyone about it. My wife knows and is supporting but doesn’t like to talk about it. I try sometimes to go undiapered and it never fails I end up wetting myself and everything around me. Just really frustrated and hope the neurologist can provide answers in April. In the meantime I hope I cam come to terms with it. Any suggestions? I know this isn’t a chat line but I would love to find someone I can talk with.
As someone who has been incontinent and dependant on nappies 24/7 for the last 6 years I can tell you it does get easier as time goes by. One thing I can tel you is no one will ever notice your nappies unless you are very careless.
 
HI im new here but not new to diapers wore them evere since, im 27 yr old have severe cp, u can msg me
 
I’ve had challenges with bladder control all my life and in and out of diapers since 1987 in order to manage my severe OAB. Finally diagnosed with Tarlov Cysts on my S3 sacral nerve in 2006, I’ve been in diapers basically 24/7 ever since. For me it’s a love-hate relationship with diapers. I love the protection and freedom that they offer, but I get weary of the reality....changing in public places, carrying around a diaper bag and changes for myself, the awkwardness of of wearing thick diapers under clothing not intended for that, etc.

That said, I’ve accepted and adapted to my situation and am no longer limited by my lack of bladder control. I have cultivated the right mindset and acquired the necessary protection to live the life I want to live, with the love and support of my wife and family.
 
When I first began experiencing incontinent I withdrew my self from everyone apart from my partner, while I'm still embarrassed about being incontinent I learned to become confident incontinent whereby I find that if you get it out the way and tell people the more who know the better just give them a quick low down and they usually don't want to know anymore some do and it's sometimes nice to have a chat about it but most just accept it and move on this making life so much easier, while I don't flaunt that I'm incontinent I don't have to hide it or sneak my bag into the loo when I need to change. It becomes easier to deal with over time but I still struggle from time to time wishing I could be dry all day but unfortunately my condition has no cure, feel free to message me if you wish to chat some more about how I learnt to cope.
 
So after some reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that life will go on. Yes diapers are apart of me and im going to have accidents. Buts it’s not the end of the world. I could be blind, deaf, have a major illness, so I can’t really complain. Looking forward to what positives can come out of this.
 
hi Ehorton
Glad to hear you have started to accept you need diapers for a medical issue, my wife reminds me every time I start to feel frustrated that I am back in diapers that it could be worse and having to wear and change diapers is no big deal fortunately I really dont get bothered about them often mainly when I have a migraine.
 
You have takend the worst step in this in my opinion , the first step is to accept so that we can then start to try to get some structure and start preparering our self as best we can . Well done
 
Ehorton said:
So after some reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that life will go on. Yes diapers are apart of me and im going to have accidents. Buts it’s not the end of the world. I could be blind, deaf, have a major illness, so I can’t really complain. Looking forward to what positives can come out of this.
This is exactly what my wife said to me and told me to get on with life.
 
Diapers are a change of underwear , back in the late 60's early 70's they said we would hafe robots sutomated houses and disposable paper clothes , well they got it partialy right with disposable plastic and paper underwear , when you get on with living you realize theres no big shakes , i have yet to find something i couldnt do in diaper that i did in tighty whitye's , its the same world, the same life you just use the bathroom differently.

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