Mistaken for trans...

Ok, I know this is going to be weird. I am biologically female, and have always identified as such. However, I have PCOS, and high androgen. The other day, a random stranger told me: “if you weren’t fat, I’d think you were a trans-woman.” Then he walked away while I was trying to figure his statement out. Any idea what in the world this was about?

Yes, some people are asshats. Please ignore them and proceed about your day as though it were not rudely interrupted by an inappropriate comment from someone you don't give two shits about.

Sheesh...

I don't quite get what that person was trying to accomplish, besides being rude...

I was diagnosed with polycystic ovarian syndrome when I was 15, although seeing I no longer require birth control to get my periods, I consider myself to have outgrown it. Now I'll admit I'm not the most attractive woman in the world, but I'm genderfluid, and feel like I would make for an adorable boy. (My hips are a bit of a problem there, though.)

The media won't shut up about trans people at the moment, most of it is quite nasty. I have a cis female friend who recently was told to leave the ladies, people are complete <swears> and the media hatred campaign is starting to work. I saw a video about transition on Facebook today and the comments were night and day from what they were 6 months ago. I think it's going to continue to get worse before it gets better I'm afraid

I can't believe someone would walk up and say something like that. Wow. The nerve.

Just being a disrespectful jerk. But even so...wow.

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Sometimes I just don’t know. My hair is usually somewhere between shoulder and mid-back in length, and I still get called Sir on a regular basis. Maybe it’s because I am in a primarily male profession? Maybe it’s because I wear jeans and boots nearly every day (work related)? Over Christmas, I was in slacks and a nice blouse... Addressed as a male, again.
I think I have a better than average understanding of the irritation/pain/grief that a person who is transitioning goes through when mis-gendered by strangers. No idea if it hurts more or less if it is family/relatives, but my money is on hurts more.

Because being a good person(not even necessarily human) isn’t enough. You have to fit into a set of narrow, check-the-box criteria so others can get a grip on what(not who) they are seeing. I’ve always thought it was the person inside of the body that counted, and that makes me a weirdo. Are we ourselves, or are we our external containers? Are we our skins? Clothes? Make up or lack thereof? Why are we societally conditioned to insist that behaviors have age limits attached? Sometimes I wonder if I belong as a human, I am continually baffled by behavior.

I think that maybe that is why I have so many friends who are “other”. Non-binary, furry, ABDL, you name it (lol, labels again) I do my best to see each person inside. The census here in the US has a blank after the check boxes for each “race” I usually write in human, but maybe next time I’ll write in something else... I always wanted to be a dragon...

Sometimes I’m not real certain that I qualify as human as my species. I know, realistically, that I am, but I’m only about 2 days without shaving, and maybe some breast binding from being qualified as a drag king... my endocrine system is so far off of “normal” but as a US citizen, I’m at a loss on how to pay for all the expensive tests it would take to get it under control.my annual deductible is 2k, then only 80/20 coverage...

I work a good job, as does my SO. Our combined salaries put us above assistance, but our monthly bills put this kind of “elective” testing out of reach. My healthcare (lol healthdoesntcare) coverage considers this to be optional testing, since female facial hair is considered a cosmetic issue. I received several referrals to dermatologists who weren’t even within my plan... they would have been 100% my bill.

Kalis said:

Sometimes I’m not real certain that I qualify as human as my species. I know, realistically, that I am, but I’m only about 2 days without shaving, and maybe some breast binding from being qualified as a drag king... my endocrine system is so far off of “normal” but as a US citizen, I’m at a loss on how to pay for all the expensive tests it would take to get it under control.my annual deductible is 2k, then only 80/20 coverage...

I work a good job, as does my SO. Our combined salaries put us above assistance, but our monthly bills put this kind of “elective” testing out of reach. My healthcare (lol healthdoesntcare) coverage considers this to be optional testing, since female facial hair is considered a cosmetic issue. I received several referrals to dermatologists who weren’t even within my plan... they would have been 100% my bill.

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DNA tests are getting cheaper and could settle the question of whether or not you are human.

Our healthdoesn'tcare system (I like the way you put it!) really does suck. I think Marka is right - keep yanking their chains. My advice there, for whatever it's worth, is to try to avoid becoming too emotionally invested in every step of the process. Try to distance yourself from the inevitable rejections you will get from people "just doing their jobs", otherwise you will wear yourself down and give up completely. Treat it like something to do in your spare time when you're in the mood, almost like a hobby.

This is a great idea. I wish I had energy to do anything above getting through the day. I really think I need my thyroid checked as well, but unless (until?) it becomes an emergency, the testing is considered optional, therefore not covered. I am glad that at least online, there are people who care enough to listen/read and try to come up with solutions.
Thank you

I would think that a thyroid imbalance would be covered by your healthcare. The first step would be to see your GP and have them draw some blood. If your thyroid is out of balance, it should be a cheap test to find out. At least that would take care of one problem and one that could be serious if not treated. I believe that an imbalance in thyroid hormones can cause depression or even some delusional episodes. I'm not sure about that, but I had a friend who said that's what happened to her.

Marka said:

Lol - I would also sometimes write in "human" or "not competing" (it's not a race!) To bad they don't ask "Species?"

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Optional, but for some reason like 'demographics' which determines, afik, what advertising 'they' blast into your tv commercials, inbox and snail mail. Not quite Black Helicopter stuff. Some states like Louisiana still have laws defining how much of each 'race' and most of the south, Texas comes to mind, didn't take out their state or territorial constitutional articles such as Mixed Marriage or Blue Laws or Sodomy. Texas formally condemns or proscribes marrying outside your 'race' or cohabitation with a person not legally married to you, buy most products on both Saturday and Sunday... never stricken from the Constitution. They merely "decline to prosecute'. There's Kansas compared to Colorado, with the potty statutes.

I keep considering checking the "other" and write "kokapelli". The entertainment factor keeps the jaw-dropping disbelief and fear of stupidity at bay.

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Kalis said:

Ok, I know this is going to be weird. I am biologically female, and have always identified as such. However, I have PCOS, and high androgen. The other day, a random stranger told me: “if you weren’t fat, I’d think you were a trans-woman.” Then he walked away while I was trying to figure his statement out. Any idea what in the world this was about?

Click to expand...

Oh, that's simple rudeness and lack of moral and intellectual development.

Hitting them doesn't work though. If I thought it would, AND THIS IS ONLY A JOKE AND NOT A PROMOTION OF VIOLENCE (advice from my imaginary friend is an imaginary lawyer) I would go around with a baseball bat getting peoples hearts right. But it would make my arm tired and wouldn't change anything.
Well, that and my somewhat tentative grasp on sanity.