Hello, I am considering starting to see a therapist, I figure my mind is due for a tune-up. I want to find a therapist that is abdl friendly or at least knowledgeable. I know the chances of getting a specific recommendation on my area is pretty thin but I was wondering if anyone has any advise on how to track down an abdl enlighten therapist. Or it anyone had experience finding one for themselves. If this thread is in the wrong place please let me know and I'll move it. Thanks
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koda42
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What I would recommend before finding an ABDL-aware therapist, is to look for a good therapist that will suit your needs.
I am biased in this discussion as I tend to be pretty critic towards psychoanalysis and prefer evidence-based methods of therapy. So, given your own thoughts, beliefs and needs, you might want to take my post with a grain of salt.
I tend to prefer therapist that are well-versed in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies, fortunately, this is usually the most widely used practice in modern countries (except mine for historical reasons, but things are changing slowly). I have no idea what the situation is in your area but you may try to contact a local association that may help you find the proper therapist for your needs.
Be aware that it may takes a few tries to get the right therapist, you may click with the first one right away, but there are no guarantee. A professional who's perfect for you can be terrible for the next person, and vice versa.
My therapist was concerned when I first touch the subject of paraphilia (= being into ABDL) but after some talks, she acknowledged the fact that it wasn't impacting me fonctionning as a human being but that it affect my self-esteem and that I need to love myself for who I am. And we're currently working on that while not trying to get rid of it.
I have never felt judged at any moment, I don't know how much she knows about abdl and frankly, I don't care. I just wanted her to see it as a part of me and work from there and she did.
Try to understand why you would like an ABDL-friendly therapist and work from there. At your first appointment, talk about it, if you don't like the reaction you're getting, change your therapist.
I do hope you find the right one for you, a therapy can be really helpful to cope or even just get some insights on yourself. Try to be prepared to hear things you might not want to hear, though
I am biased in this discussion as I tend to be pretty critic towards psychoanalysis and prefer evidence-based methods of therapy. So, given your own thoughts, beliefs and needs, you might want to take my post with a grain of salt.
I tend to prefer therapist that are well-versed in Cognitive-Behavioral Therapies, fortunately, this is usually the most widely used practice in modern countries (except mine for historical reasons, but things are changing slowly). I have no idea what the situation is in your area but you may try to contact a local association that may help you find the proper therapist for your needs.
Be aware that it may takes a few tries to get the right therapist, you may click with the first one right away, but there are no guarantee. A professional who's perfect for you can be terrible for the next person, and vice versa.
My therapist was concerned when I first touch the subject of paraphilia (= being into ABDL) but after some talks, she acknowledged the fact that it wasn't impacting me fonctionning as a human being but that it affect my self-esteem and that I need to love myself for who I am. And we're currently working on that while not trying to get rid of it.
I have never felt judged at any moment, I don't know how much she knows about abdl and frankly, I don't care. I just wanted her to see it as a part of me and work from there and she did.
Try to understand why you would like an ABDL-friendly therapist and work from there. At your first appointment, talk about it, if you don't like the reaction you're getting, change your therapist.
I do hope you find the right one for you, a therapy can be really helpful to cope or even just get some insights on yourself. Try to be prepared to hear things you might not want to hear, though
I believe you should find a therapist that's familiar with abdl, or at least well aware.
Unfortunately you're just going to have to ask if they are. It could be a good test in fact. If they don't even know what abdl stands for, then there's your answer.
Unfortunately you're just going to have to ask if they are. It could be a good test in fact. If they don't even know what abdl stands for, then there's your answer.
Traemo
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I'm going to re-iterate koda's points: worry less about finding an ABDL-friendly therapist, worry more about finding one you can work with and that will be helpful to you. Ultimately, a good therapist you have a solid relationship with will hear you out without pre-judging.
tiny
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I don't think it matters at all whether your therapist is ABDL-aware or not. The only thing that's important (vital) is that he/she can work with you (rather than against you) to achieve whatever it is you want out of therapy.
Client-centred therapy (also known as Rogerian, after Carl Rogers) is a vague model of therapy where the therapist listens to the client, empathises with their situation, and, essentially guides the client through the process of guiding themselves towards recovery (if that makes sense). Or, to put it another way, the therapist guides you, based on your own ideologies, towards your own solutions/conclusions.
It works with ABDL, because "who you are" is just automatically accepted. "Client-centred" means that, if you don't see it as a problem then it isn't. Or, if it is a problem, the therapist will guide you towards ways of living that work for you. Self-acceptance is a fundamental process.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/client-centred-therapy.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person-centered_therapy
Gestalt therapy works well alongside that:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_therapy
Beyond that, look for therapists that specialise in whatever areas might be relevant -- depression, anxiety, relationships, sexuality, drug use, or whatever. Check their professional qualifications.
You should always consider what therapists say with a pinch of salt. They aren't magical soothsayers. They don't know everything that's in your mind (especially if you don't tell them). You have to challenge what they suggest, and in turn they challenge your beliefs. It's a two-way debating process. You shouldn't just accept a therapist who tries to brainwash you into their rigid ideology. But you may find that, when they question your own ideologies... you can recognise a few in coherencies that might change the way you see the world.
The best therapists will be able to pick-and-choose various therapeutic approaches from various psychological ideologies (even conflicting ones), and guide you towards the ones that help you best.
Being honest about your scepticism, thoughts, beliefs, ideologies, etc. is the best (quickest) way to make yourself understood, and let the therapist guide you towards techniques that will help. But you're the one in charge. They can lead you to water, but can't make you drink.
It helps to consider your therapist as an equal; a wise partner or trusted friend who will act as a helpful guide on your journey through the inner-workings of your mind. It's your journey. The answers are within you. A good therapist will help you see what you already know. He/she will be by your side to support you when you feel lost, and will help you find your way again.
So... trust what you know... but allow your therapist to question it. Psychology isn't a "hard science" where abstract theories can be proven or disproven. Don't "buy in" to theories that don't work for you.
Dunno if any of that helps, but the best of luck to ya!
Client-centred therapy (also known as Rogerian, after Carl Rogers) is a vague model of therapy where the therapist listens to the client, empathises with their situation, and, essentially guides the client through the process of guiding themselves towards recovery (if that makes sense). Or, to put it another way, the therapist guides you, based on your own ideologies, towards your own solutions/conclusions.
It works with ABDL, because "who you are" is just automatically accepted. "Client-centred" means that, if you don't see it as a problem then it isn't. Or, if it is a problem, the therapist will guide you towards ways of living that work for you. Self-acceptance is a fundamental process.
https://www.simplypsychology.org/client-centred-therapy.html
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Person-centered_therapy
Gestalt therapy works well alongside that:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gestalt_therapy
Beyond that, look for therapists that specialise in whatever areas might be relevant -- depression, anxiety, relationships, sexuality, drug use, or whatever. Check their professional qualifications.
You should always consider what therapists say with a pinch of salt. They aren't magical soothsayers. They don't know everything that's in your mind (especially if you don't tell them). You have to challenge what they suggest, and in turn they challenge your beliefs. It's a two-way debating process. You shouldn't just accept a therapist who tries to brainwash you into their rigid ideology. But you may find that, when they question your own ideologies... you can recognise a few in coherencies that might change the way you see the world.
The best therapists will be able to pick-and-choose various therapeutic approaches from various psychological ideologies (even conflicting ones), and guide you towards the ones that help you best.
Being honest about your scepticism, thoughts, beliefs, ideologies, etc. is the best (quickest) way to make yourself understood, and let the therapist guide you towards techniques that will help. But you're the one in charge. They can lead you to water, but can't make you drink.
It helps to consider your therapist as an equal; a wise partner or trusted friend who will act as a helpful guide on your journey through the inner-workings of your mind. It's your journey. The answers are within you. A good therapist will help you see what you already know. He/she will be by your side to support you when you feel lost, and will help you find your way again.
So... trust what you know... but allow your therapist to question it. Psychology isn't a "hard science" where abstract theories can be proven or disproven. Don't "buy in" to theories that don't work for you.
Dunno if any of that helps, but the best of luck to ya!
Ravensteel
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Speaking from experience the most important factor regarding a therapist is being able to openly speak to them. I've gone through a number of therapist they were very well trained that just simply did not work for me. Personally I would look for a therapist that I feel comfortable speaking to first and worry about the diaper stuff second.
TabulaRasa2017
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Hi Ry821,
I think everyone on this thread has given good advice, and some like koda42 obviously have a lot of insight/experience. My two cents would be that if you are struggling with ABDL and that is why you are going to see a therapist, then there are therapists that are aware. I don't know whether you consider your ABDL a kink and as part of your sexuality, as I do. If so, then just be aware that there are therapists who specialize in kink and who won't assume that ABDL is the cause of your problems or will help you better understand this part of yourself. But like so many of have said, comfort with your therapist is key, so whatever you decide make sure you can be open and honest with them - you can't work on what you want if you can't be honest.
Be well.
I think everyone on this thread has given good advice, and some like koda42 obviously have a lot of insight/experience. My two cents would be that if you are struggling with ABDL and that is why you are going to see a therapist, then there are therapists that are aware. I don't know whether you consider your ABDL a kink and as part of your sexuality, as I do. If so, then just be aware that there are therapists who specialize in kink and who won't assume that ABDL is the cause of your problems or will help you better understand this part of yourself. But like so many of have said, comfort with your therapist is key, so whatever you decide make sure you can be open and honest with them - you can't work on what you want if you can't be honest.
Be well.
TabulaRasa2017 said:
I believe you just touched on an importand distinction here. IF a prospective therapist believes being abdl is a sexual fetish or kink, then they could be motivated toctry and get you to stop wearing diapers- even with their good intentions and willingness to work with you, that would obviously be wrong.
Hence why you need a therapist that is at least partially aware what abdl is. It is a part of who we are, and we all need help learning to accept it. Big difference.
BunnyFofo
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Keep in mind, how important being ABDL enlightened is, is going to depend on how important telling the therapist about being ABDL is to you. Even then it might not matter since a therapist could help you work through whatever issues you have with being ABDL without knowing exactly what it is ahead of time. If they're broadly familiar with paraphilia in general, then they should be fine. They might even be fine if they aren't. It's really going to depend on the therapist and you, not weather they know about what's represented by some specific 4 letter alphabet soup word.
In my case it hasn't been very important to tell any of my therapists about ABDL, because I've had other issues I've had to deal with. Most of the therapists I've had didn't really help me, even the one I told about being ABDL, and the one therapist that definitely did help me, I didn't tell about being ABDL because by that time I had pretty much worked through it myself and didn't really have any problems coming from that area like I had problems coming from other areas.
I'd say the biggest reason most therapists didn't help me because I didn't really know about the idea that I should try different therapists if one wasn't working for me. If I was more willing to try different therapists I think that over time I would have found more good ones.
Based on my experience I'd say koda42, Traemo, tiny, etc are offering you some solid advice - the most important thing is to try a therapist, and then make sure you try a different one if they're not working out for you, rather than based on weather or not they know about a particular obscure paraphilia (ABDL).
In my case it hasn't been very important to tell any of my therapists about ABDL, because I've had other issues I've had to deal with. Most of the therapists I've had didn't really help me, even the one I told about being ABDL, and the one therapist that definitely did help me, I didn't tell about being ABDL because by that time I had pretty much worked through it myself and didn't really have any problems coming from that area like I had problems coming from other areas.
I'd say the biggest reason most therapists didn't help me because I didn't really know about the idea that I should try different therapists if one wasn't working for me. If I was more willing to try different therapists I think that over time I would have found more good ones.
Based on my experience I'd say koda42, Traemo, tiny, etc are offering you some solid advice - the most important thing is to try a therapist, and then make sure you try a different one if they're not working out for you, rather than based on weather or not they know about a particular obscure paraphilia (ABDL).
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