BedWetting Husband

BrittanyJ said:

Thanks for all the responses! It’s much appreciated.

To answer a few questions, yes we have seeked help from an Urologist and other specialists. They have all said that it does not appear that he has any serious health issues. I just learned that he has had some bed wetting issues steming back from when he was a kid.

It was suggested that he try some medications but after having a long talk about it, he decided he will just continue to wear protection at night since it doesn’t happen that often. He told me that he actually finds his protective pants to be comfortable. Not to mention, he’s not a big fan of taking medication for anything at all.

I agreed with him since I really don’t seem the harm in him wearing protection at night.

As for being a “troll”, I promise I’m not. This is just one of the sites I stumbled upon while googling when researching and looking for support. I posted on a marriage advise site but most of the responses were very negative and made me feel like I was in the wrong for even suggesting diapers as a solution, so I thought this site would be more appropriate?

Thanks again for the responses!

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Hi BrittanyJ,

You seem like a very supportive spouse and he is lucky to have you in his corner like this.

As a longtime bedwetter myself (I am 34 years old and have been having accidents since I was 14), I find diapers to be much more comfortable than leaks and wet beds. If he is genuinely open to the idea of pull ups, it seems as though he would be open to the idea of a tab style diaper. I know for me, I tried pull ups and they didn't work for how much I voided at night. Diapers made the most sense.

In your previous post, you mentioned "I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him." Bedwetting aside, perhaps the ABDL lifestyle may be worth exploring in your relationship. Seems like you enjoy him wearing diapers and it doesn't seem like he has any hangups about them. I started with a medical need for them, and gradually started to enjoy them. Now, I can't imagine not wearing diapers. Food for thought... and welcome to this community

There are some great suggestions on here. One, you are a great spouse to support your SO like that. The next is that he's likely going to have to try out a few products to find the right fit and what will work best for him.

Store-brands tend to be garbage. I'm relatively new to having to wear but I have recent experience with pull ups and they are a joke. They leak too easily and too much so there is the unpleasant (for many) experience of waking up in a cold pool of pee.

I have tried the Depends pull ups and the Walmart Assurance pull ups and tabbed diapers--all really didn't do the job. The Tranquility ATNs are OK, but since I sleep on my side, they can leak unless I add a booster and a couple of strips of packing tape to close the gap in-between the regular tapes. And sometimes they'll leak out of the top-front, but nowhere near as bad as the cheaper diapers.

The cheap Pro Care diapers that my previous insurance paid for are horrible. Since I don't like wasting things, I've been trying to kill off what supply i have--I only have one dry one left and they are gone forever.

I also went to Northshore's website (http://www.northshorecare.com/) and did a text chat with one of their reps. I had a sample of two of the Supremes (plastic-backed) sent to me and I just wore the first one last night. For me it worked well and I didn't have to add a booster--though that's still an option--or any extra tape and I woke up dry on the outside and feeling pretty good on the inside. I did wet it several times over the night and they seem to work well for me. Slomo swears by the BetterDry 24/7 and I'll give those a try when I can.

There also seems to be somewhat of a debate of cloth-backed versus plastic backed. The only thing I really like about the cloth-backed is the easily retapeable Velcro tapes. But cloth-baked diapers need those since they do tend to stretch and you have to tighten up that diaper. Plastic backed usually don't stretch like that, and if you tape them well once, they stay good. At the worst, you may have to adjust early on but a lot of good brands have the "second-chance" tapes which are usually good enough to cinch then up properly and you're good until you need a change.

Now if your husband has a playful nature, perhaps later you can introduce some designs to him--especially if he loves colorful underwear. (I have a fun collection of boxers my wife bought me that i love with prints like South Park, Superman, TMNT, and others. While there are not a lot of "not necessarily baby print" diapers, I'm interested in trying out the all-black Rearz Seduction and the Skull & Crossbones-printed Rebels for fun. (www.rearz.ca)

The first step however is to help him come to terms of needing to wear and I think your posivitivity is a big help there. Once he gets more comfortable then perhaps you can get more playful--make that lemonade out of those lemons life has just handed him.

OK, so don't take this wrong, but since you are okay with how he looks, in some type of diaper, and since he doesn't seem to mind, I think he should work very long hours every day (it'll help pay for the diapers...), AND, if he has a short day, I think you should plow a few drinks into him, and let him sleep it all off, in his cute diapers.

Of course, that's my DL sense of humor at work, but, honestly, managing it all, with the right products, and keeping it on the "cute" side is what makes life enjoyable. Having a partner that accepts, and works with you, is doubly important! For myself, I want decent protection, and I want backup protection, and you can achieve both with the right products, the right level of stuffers, and a mattress protector under the bedding. My wife makes me the cutest training pants, very absorbent, and great to wear over a great quality pullups, with protective pants over it all. This gives me decent protection, is a fairly cute look, and, if I leak, we're only changing sheets.

I like having the cute look, more than anything, other than having the cute feel & comfort of padding down below. I've extended it all to 24 hour wear, but skip the training pants at work (on the road for 5-6 days straight), since I can't deal with cloth items getting wet & smelly in my job, but can wear double pullups, and get rid of a used one fairly easily, in a toilet/shower stall. I'm not suggesting he's ready for daytime wear, but, we all want to "look cute" to our partners, and there might just be days when you have to send him off looking cute, to extend the nighttime fun into that l-o-n-g 16-hour daytime...

Scaramouche said:

If a doctor says everything is ok (probably recommend a drug like Flomax) then companies like Depends, XP Medical and my fav, Northshore, will send free samples upon request. Send them an email or call them. Good luck and keep us posted.

Also, this looks like your first post. Welcome to the community! We are a support group and as you see above, we're a very friendly and helpful bunch. Maybe you'd like to stick around? Maybe you would like to try diapers with your husband to give him support and make him not feel so out of place? You don't have to use them.

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Sorry little off subject
Flomax is actually what I believe to be making me incon

Sent from my E6810 using Tapatalk

I'm sorry that you even have to go through this.
I'm a bed wetter for my whole life (27) years of it, it's super hard in relationships.
But here's the best diaper on the market, or at least for me "Molicare SuperPlus" there a little thick, but I've never wet the bed in them, and I can't control anything, maybe worth a try. Good Luck, and it's really cool seeing you be supportive of you husband.

I have been diapered off and on since 1987 (mostly on now) due to severe urge incontinence. I’ve found the ConfiDry 24/7 with a booster pad and plastic pants to be the best protection for me, and I rarely leak...maybe two or three times in the last ten years, and that due to diaper tapes coming loose at night.

Make sure to use a premium brand such as Confidry 24/7 Abena or Unique Wellness Briefs. If prefer pullups in daytime Unique Wellness are the only ones worth a darn.

BrittanyJ said:

Thanks for all the responses! It’s much appreciated.

To answer a few questions, yes we have seeked help from an Urologist and other specialists. They have all said that it does not appear that he has any serious health issues. I just learned that he has had some bed wetting issues steming back from when he was a kid.

It was suggested that he try some medications but after having a long talk about it, he decided he will just continue to wear protection at night since it doesn’t happen that often. He told me that he actually finds his protective pants to be comfortable. Not to mention, he’s not a big fan of taking medication for anything at all.

I agreed with him since I really don’t seem the harm in him wearing protection at night.

As for being a “troll”, I promise I’m not. This is just one of the sites I stumbled upon while googling when researching and looking for support. I posted on a marriage advise site but most of the responses were very negative and made me feel like I was in the wrong for even suggesting diapers as a solution, so I thought this site would be more appropriate?

Thanks again for the responses!

Click to expand...

I wear now adult training underwear and plastic underpants (PULs to help dissipate heat). I may have an accident while a sleep at night maybe 2 or 3 times a year and my trainers are only soaked in the front panel and my PULs do their job! My wife understands completely and even though most of the time it may not seem like I need to wear any protection, I had woken up in the past with a wet sheet and wet underwear and being mad I was not wearing some type of protection.

The medication route is very iffy and the side effects can be numerous. My situation like your husband probably stems from my being in bed time protection off / on as a kid and then by my teenage years being fine until I went to college and had to wear a full diaper and plastic underpants until I graduated and was able to customize the level of absorbency I needed as an adult man. I may experiment with different types of protection like disposables ,etc. but I am not an AB but do appreciate the great advantage of wearing specialized undergarments to keep the sheets and my wife dry at night.

I am glad you think your husband looks cute in his diaper. My wife sometimes will tell me my "padded bottom looks cute' but there is really no more discussion about it. I wish both of you the best this situation brings to you and state it is better to feel secure at night with not wetting the bed then the anxiety of not wearing protection and possibly having a accident.

BrittanyJ said:

Earlier this year my husband, in his mid 30’s, started having bed-wetting accidents. I noticed the accidents mainly seem to happen after having a few drinks on our nights out together. I have also noticed he will randomly have accidents after working extended hours as he doesn’t work the typical eight to five type of job and is an extremely heavy sleeper.

So, the other night I mentioned to him that I would like him to start wearing diapers to bed on the nights he drinks and after the days he works his 16+ hour long shifts. His face immediately turned red and you could tell he felt embarrassed. I reassured him that I was ok with the idea of him wearing protection to bed and reminded him that it would help keep the bed dry.

I love him more than anything in this world and would never look at him any differently for wearing protection. I’ve noticed it appears to be more of a common trend than people may think.

That being said, since he started wearing his pull-up diapers to bed, I noticed that he appears to sleep better and even admitted that he actually likes how comfortable they are to wear. The only issue I have is that I have noticed they leak more often then not.

Should I suggest that he start wearing the tabbed diapers? Everything I read on the internet has said they are much more absorbent and less likely to leak. Just looking for your thoughts.

I know some of you that are reading this may think I’m crazy for suggesting he wear diapers but I don’t look at diapers in a negative light. They are just an available tool to use in order to fix an issue and are harmless. I think he actually looks cute in them. Oddly enough, I feel like it has brought us closer together and I like taking care of him.

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I admit to not reading all the posts, but BrittanyJ, you may want to consider looking at sites like northshorecare.com and bettymills.com that offer diaper samples. you can get a better idea of what is out there. I got a box of about 15 different samples from bettymills.com pullups, tabbed, and the bed protector sheets. found that I like a brand called Wings much better than any depends or others that I have seen in pharmacy's or Walmart.

Best of luck, and :grouphug: