Discussion for us older abdl's (pre-internet)

Very nice thread, thanks for asking. My answers are pretty much the same as everyone elses. I wore cloth in the 70s and desired to have that back through my childhood and youth and then I became a mom and stopped thinking about it for about 15 years but eventually I found ADISC and discovered that accepting the inevitable is a lot better than fighting it.

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babycome2daddy said:

1. At what age did you get that first hint that you were into diapers?

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Five or six years old. I can't really remember a time when I didn't want to wear diapers. At age six, while my younger sister was still wearing diapers to bed, I would occasionally take and wear her (formerly my) cloth diapers and plastic pants. I can recall pricking myself in the hips a few times while learning to pin the diapers on, often because I would pin them too tight and then the pins would pop open when I moved around. I was also caught once with a wet diaper hidden underneath my bed. A short while after hiding it, I decided that I needed to put it into sis's diaper pail. I went back to get it only to find it gone. The moment of that realization stuck with me because of how terrified I was. Surprisingly, I was never punished or even talked to about it, although I can remember my mom giving me some very disapproving I-know-what-you-did looks.

2. How did you satisfy your urges then because there were no products available for us?

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(Long answer ahead!)

While still a kid, I managed to spend quite a bit of time wearing diapers. Perhaps with the thought of having a third child, my parents kept all of my sister's a my old cloth diapers, and it didn't take me long to work out a system for borrowing and wearing them. I never found the plastic pants and assume they were thrown away, but the diapers and the pins were right there for the taking. As you might imagine, I didn't often use the diapers for their intended purpose, but there was quite a span of time when I would grab a diaper and a pair of pins as I got into bed. After my mom or dad had said good night, I would slip my pajama bottoms off and put on my diaper.

As I approached puberty, I found that the diapers were quickly becoming too small to wear, but this was remedied in various ways. I worked out how to pin several diapers together to make larger ones, and also cut up a few pairs of underwear to make diaper extenders.

When I was 12 or possibly 13 years old, I had my first experience with productive masturbation--while wearing my old cloth baby diapers. This sexual element quickly replaced all of my other diaper-related desires, to the point that I can no longer remember how diapers made me feel in earlier years. It also greatly increased my desire to wear. Very shortly after that, I succumbed to years of temptation and started hiking to the supermarket after school to buy Pampers and Huggies with my allowance. Like my the cloth diapers, these required some modification in order to be useful, but I didn't mind. I was very used to that. The exciting thing about the Pampers and Huggies was that I could finally wet them like a baby. I can very clearly remember standing in my bathroom wearing a modified Pampers diaper and trying as hard as I could to pee. That first time was really difficult!

Warp ahead to the mid-90's, when I was in my late teens and early 20's, and I was still mostly using modified baby diapers. In fact, I still mostly use modified baby diapers, both cloth and disposable. I have an enormous stash of the very same Curity prefold cloth diapers I wore as a baby, many of which I've had professionally modified into adult diapers. I think, perhaps, that spending my whole childhood wearing baby diapers made it difficult for me to accept the adult kind. I have a pretty awesome stash of adult diapers too, but the baby kind are still much more exciting to me. Yup. I'm a weirdo among weirdos, I guess!

3. Did you have trouble with the opposite sex as far as dating because of these urges?

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Nope. Despite being a bit of a nerd, I never had trouble developing friendships with girls and later women, and the best of these friends tended to become girlfriends. And in college, I did as many college couples do and started having sex. Diapers never tangled with any of that. I found both things immensely satisfying, but they were separate worlds.

4. Did you feel like you were the only one in the world with this secret?

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Until the early-mid 90's, yes. And it was certainly a source of some self-loathing, although not to the point that I was depressed or suicidal or anything. Mostly, after peeing and/or masturbating in a diaper, I would sit there thinking, "What the hell am I doing? This is just so damned weird. I'm weird." But then, as a freshman in college, I made my way to Usenet for the first time and stumbled upon the alt.sex.fetish.diapers newsgroup. The over-sexed nature of the conversation there was very off-putting, but suddenly I knew I wasn't alone. It helped. Not long after that, I suppose I was finally at peace with it all.

5. Did you think there was something wrong with you?

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Yeah, definitely. Although I had enough other things going well for me that it didn't really get me down. I'd feel silly/weird immediately after using diapers, but that feeling dissipated quickly.

6. Did you ever get to the point where you accepted that this is okay and just part of who you are? If so, when?

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Yeah. Right around age 20. (I'm almost 42 now.) I still kept it secret, but then most guys don't go blabbing about how they pleasure themselves.

Fast-forward to the present day: I've been married for almost 18 years and have two kids. It wasn't until about five years ago that my wife found out about my diaper habit. She's been tolerant, but doesn't participate in it at all. At the same time, our intimacy has been unaffected and we remain best friends. With the understanding that a diaper fetish is a pretty odd thing, I really don't mind that my wife isn't diving right in, asking to wear diapers, change me, etc. In the preceding decades, I became so used to keeping it to myself that continuing on alone (in this one respect) is easy and comfortable. In fact, if she were to suddenly express an interest in diapers, I'd probably be scared!

1. Well I was a bed wetter until the age of 10. I guess around between the ages of 9 and 10 I started to enjoy my diaper wearing. I started to love the feeling of my warm wet diapers in the morning. I also loved the extra attention I was getting since my mother put my cloth diapers and plastic pants on me every night before bed.

2. After I stopped wetting just before my 11th birthday I found it easy for a while to sneak my old cloth diapers and plastic pants out of the closet and wear them to bed. That was the beginning of my life time lover affair with diapers. As time went on I out grew the old plastic pants and found some in a sears catalog. I also found Klienerts plastic pants in a department store, the only problem it was in the womens section. I was brave and purchased them even though the lady gave me funny looks. I then found medical supply stores that offered plastic pants and that was my supply store for quite a few years.

3. I did not have trouble with the opposite sex because in my early years I did not really do much dating. As I got older and dated more sex did come up but I never involved any of my dates in my love of diapers I was to ashamed.

4. For the longest time I felt I was the only one who had this desire. The internet was nothing like it is now the only thing we had were magazines. I remember going to what I called a dirty book store and found an advertisement for DPF. That day changed my life for ever. I now knew that there were others who loved diapers. I know a lot of you may have bad things to say about DPF but back then that was the only publication that offered AB/ABDL information.

5.Yes I felt there was something wrong with me for wanting to wear diapers. But As I found out about other fetish's it may me feel that what I liked was ok.

6. I now totally accept who I am , the only problem was I did not realize it until I was in my late 40's. So many years wasted.

Well I'm 36, so a bit younger than most of the people that have replied. But the internet really wasn't a thing when I started being an ABDL, so I think I should share.

1. I still wore diapers at night up to age 5 and badly wanted to get out of them. As soon as I did get out of them, I felt like something was missing and fantasized about wearing again or being forced back into them.
2. How didn't I satisfy my urges! I did all the things. I used multiple pairs of underwear, towels, trash bags, stole baby diapers, bought baby diapers, training pants, tried crappy drug store brands (I even had a favorite brand- Walgreens. Compared to what I have today they're garbage.).
3. Well, if you count never being sexually attracted to anyone as trouble, then yes. When I turned into a teenager, I started getting "sexual" desires, but they all related to wearing and using diapers or being forced too by others. I consider myself asexual.
4. Of course I felt like the only one. How could other people possibly want something so... random? So strange?
5. I absolutely did feel like there was something wrong with me. I didn't dare tell anyone about this until after I finally read about it on the internet. Not parents, not therapists. I just felt totally alone.
6. I did get to the point where I accepted that this is okay and just part of who I am, but only as an adult, more than 20 years after I started feeling this way and more than 10 years after I was able to discover that I wasn't the only one that did. I feel like it would have been a lot quicker and painless had I been able to just look this stuff up on the internet at age 6.

I'm 67 and in so calif. I have had this desire to wear diapers since 4/5 years old. I was in a kindergarten school live in and there was a girl still in diapers and plastic pants on. I was hocked by that age. Now I'm home and my wife diapers me nightly and puts me in plastic pants and sometimes the PUL pants. I'm always on the pacifier during diapering time. I sleep next to my wife and it is no longer an issue for me to be and sleep in a diaper. She is so good and understanding of my needs. We use the cloth velcro diapers for me at night since my wife likes these best.

Love wearing diapers

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not sure, maybe 4 or 5. 'd use any thing I could get my hands on. dish towels torn up sheets an occasional real cloth diaper. I definately thought I was the only one in the world wearing diapers on purpose. when I was younger I remember wondering if I would remember wearing diapers & if I would be embarased. always thought I would out grow it. I'm definately getting better. still have a ways to go as far as accepting it.

DiaperedRider said:

1. At what age did you get that first hint that you were into diapers?

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I was triggered by pacis - I'd say I never realy stopped, diapers came later.

DiaperedRider said:

2. How did you satisfy your urges then because there were no products available for us?

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Bufff, today no problem with stuff... When I was in adolescent ages I used standart baby pacis and about diapers... Just a pair of towel experiments.

DiaperedRider said:

3. Did you have trouble with the opposite sex as far as dating because of these urges? (I had relationships but got bored really fast. I would go through long periods in between and some girls thought I must be gay because I wasn't interested in them. I liked girls that were immature and could possibly be bedwetters and panty wetters. I was always attracted to the ones that talked about wetting the bed, or bathing suits, etc but I still had to be physically attracted so it was very hard)

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When discovered... Normally I keep my ABDL stuff locked (mentally&fisically too.)

DiaperedRider said:

4. Did you feel like you were the only one in the world with this secret?

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I had a big piece of good luck to listened some conversation of others a few older boys about using pacis. I was between 10 and 12 old, so I realized by this really casual and private conversation I'm not alone in this.

DiaperedRider said:

5. Did you think there was something wrong with you?

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Still I think, but not because ABDL...

DiaperedRider said:

6. Did you ever get to the point where you accepted that this is okay and just part of who you are? If so, when?

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Not really remember when, but I did. It'd be around my 20's ?
Note: First time I used internet in 1996...

My story has been told dozens of times, here and elsewhere (DPF, Wetville, ABKingdom, WetSet, Experience Project, FetLife, ADISC, etc., but I'll reiterate, for the sake of those reading it here.

Currently 64, always straight, single until 35, always wanted to find "the right woman", and hope I could share my attraction to diapers, plastic pants, and baby-like tendencies, now a father of three, grandfather of four, using diapers & plastic pants, all through my life, whenever possible...

1. At what age did you get that first hint that you were into diapers?

As I was being taken out of them, at just beyond two. I know not why, but I wanted them back, and other kids had them, and it was like a seed that got planted in my brain, and grew... and grew... and grew. My siblings were "helping" to potty train me, and I was a fast learner, but an unhappy camper! Not sure anyone taught me how to properly wipe. I learned that by doing. Two through five, it was always "there", but I thought I'd outgrow it, just like other kids seemed to forget their diapers, but it kept showing up in places (bedwetter pants ads, cartoons, TV programs, etc.), in the form of age regressions, shrinking, babyplay & ageplay, and the cast was being set, and hardening... I knew then that there was a mental & physical stimulation from it all, I just didn't know why. I was an otherwise ordinary kid, outgoing & daring, learning about everything I could, mechanical & otherwise. Never was great at "people", but that didn't really matter.

2. How did you satisfy your urges then because there were no products available for us?

Well, I had a brother, three years younger. I always thought my mom was just done with kids in diapers, and that's why she rushed me out of them, but, in reality, she had a miscarriage, after me, and tried again, with my younger sibling. New baby in the house! Old baby, not such a big deal anymore... Anyway, it did bring fresh diapers & plastic pants back into the house, giving me some opportunities. At one point, when I was 5, I finally broke through my self-imposed barriers, and put his plastic pants on. OMG! That was it! When I reached down, and felt MY plastic pants, I was finally cooked, hooked, and I looked and looked... Liked what I saw. The returning toddler me!

More to come. Don't want to lose this part...

3. Did you have trouble with the opposite sex as far as dating because of these urges?

Not that I know of. I was normally attracted to girls, and did all the normal stuff with them, but when I reached puberty, and was "discovering myself", the plastic pants became my first girlfriend, if you know what I mean. Ages 12-35 saw many new things in my life (jobs, graduation, first kiss, first girlfriend, cars, racing, REAL jobs, military service, college, music, dope, etc.), BUT, one thing that never changed was my LOVE for baby stuff (the creams, the powder, the Gerber's, the feelings down below, etc.). Kept thinking it might go away, but it only grew stronger into who I really was. Finally found "her", at 33, and divulged my strange desires, soon thereafter. By 35, we we're married, with pre-teen & teen step kids.

4. Did you feel like you were the only one in the world with this secret?

Initially, but I was quick to catch on to the stuff I was seeing on TV. SOMEONE out there was thinking like I was! That I knew! Forum Magazine was the breakthrough, though, with articles & letters.

Another break to update... Keep getting logged off.

5. Did you think there was something wrong with you?

Yes, initially, when I was very young, I quickly realized that NO other kids were talking about their previously diapered lives, or how they wanted to use the GO-BACK machine to become diapered tots again, like I did. I absolutely knew I was alone with my strange desires, but I had other secrets, too (was a bit if a thief, stealing change from mom, to get candy!). The stealing lasted until I turned 12, right when I learned about self-stim, and was able to acquire Gerber's legally. I shuddered to think of getting caught stealing them! But, now that I could buy them at the drugstore, why not pretend I still had a baby brother??? The cloth stuff was a step too far. Cleaning? Discovery! Smells? Oh, no!

6. Did you ever get to the point where you accepted that this is okay and just part of who you are? If so, when?

Sometime in my teens, when plastics met lubricant. This was now MY secret! My turn-to virtual girlfriend! Clean her up, and put her away! How could I ever explain to anyone what I'd discovered?? They'd ridicule me! Honestly, I was just too smart to attempt to bring anyone into the fold. This was MINE! I owned it. It felt good, and it was probably never going to go away, much to my wife's chagrin.

Okay, there it is. Part of my story, but the roots of my infantilist, in a nutshell.