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Thread: I'm so pissed off (coming out disaster)

  1. #1

    Default I'm so pissed off (coming out disaster)

    I knew that coming out, would be very difficult after all that bullshit the sociopath has pulled off (personally I've never felt like hurting someone so fucking much lately) if there is a hell this asshole deserves to go there for the amount of fucking mental fuckery he has caused. words can't describe what I feel about this female abuser and a mind fuck of a person.

    Since I was 15 I wanted to transition to female, legally here you can't do it until you're 18, I decided until I waited until I moved out home, I mentioned that I was transgender to the psychopaths girlfriend at the time (my best friend) last couple years he has be doing this "transgender bullshit" which goes as far as to make out he is hormones, that it's a choice, mental illness, the list goes fucking on and on.

    Anyway 4 months ago (roughly) I decided to go to a gender therapist, mother asked me I better not be changing my sex and copying off sociopath (I almost fucking lost it that day, but decided to say it was for anxiety and depression) she went as far as to say I can't do this and that.. and she wouldn't allow it (all because of the sociopath) so I said fuck her and did it anyway behind her back.

    Anyway lately I decided to come out , that was a fucking disaster she thinks it's a choice, and that I can easily stop my hormones etc, that hormones don't do anything (because the sociopath said he was on hormones for a year and nothing changed) she thinks it's a mental illness that can be cured (sociopath made out it's a mental illness) etc.

    Personally I'm so close to losing my shit mentally, and I'm so close to having a violent outburst due to the bullshit this fuck head has caused me.

    I knew it would end up like this, thanks to him my mother thinks I copied off him etc, while the evidence HERE points to 2015 and 2016...

  2. #2

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    as i said before, there are solutions to such problems. but not everyone is capable of solving such problems. there are different ways to do it, but you must go all the way if you decide to go for it. many people heavily disagree with my ideas of dealing with people, but there are no other effective ways to do anything.

    it's up to you to decide if you wanna deal with the bastard or let him get away with everything. i sure know what i would do, but as for you, i can only give you my advice.

  3. #3

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    So here's a thought, why don't you sit your Mom down and actually correct her false beliefs. If you have any type of trans resources in your area, try to get literature from them, and reaffirm that it is your life, your body, and this is what you need to be happy with yourself. Real honest communication is the only thing that is going to help you and her. Talk to your therapist about joint sessions, and remember she is going through a tough time as well. Hell, why not even ask her what her most serious concern about you being trans is. It could be something as simple as she is worried as hell about discrimination and you getting hurt, and by opposing it, she might think she is protecting you.

    Raging, ranting, and violent outbursts aren't going to solve anything at this point, except to put you, and others, and a worse situation. Don't ignore how your transition is effecting those around you, but don't give in to the pressure not to. If this is what you really want, aim for the sky and push forward. I promise, you keep talking to her, keep her in your life, she will come around.

  4. #4

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    I know it's not much solace, but my biggest advice to you is to be your own proof of your words. Prove that it's different. Tell her that you plan to. Be sure. Don't waver.

    I know you have a long road ahead of you but try to keep just moving forward. Don't let anyone drag you back.

  5. #5

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Azie View Post
    So here's a thought, why don't you sit your Mom down and actually correct her false beliefs.
    Yes, completely agree with this. It'll be hard, and probably trigger warning material too, especially given the emotional state being affected by hormone changes at this time too, so don't stress, don't get angry, but shed a few tears.



    If you have any type of trans resources in your area, try to get literature from them, and reaffirm that it is your life, your body, and this is what you need to be happy with yourself.
    In Sydney, there is the Gender Center (https://gendercentre.org.au) that is full of info and people to talk to. Ring them, have a chat to them. Get mum to have a chat to them too.



    Real honest communication is the only thing that is going to help you and her.
    Especially not "Mum's not agreeing with me, I'm now frustrated, this is fucked, I'm fucking angry!!". Got to get past any anger and frustration - turn it into a full cry, a plead for help and support.



    Talk to your therapist about joint sessions, and remember she is going through a tough time as well.
    Yes, also completely agree with this idea. Mum will _likely_ listen to a professional/medical opinion. At that time, Jess could completely destroy psycho guy, using the counsellor as the mouthpiece.



    Hell, why not even ask her what her most serious concern about you being trans is. It could be something as simple as she is worried as hell about discrimination and you getting hurt, and by opposing it, she might think she is protecting you.
    When I transitioned 20+ years ago, I was forced to leave home in order to transition, because back then there was a huge stigma/anti-LGBTI sentiment. I survived, and mum and sisters supported me with open arms once I'd actually gone through surgery. Leaving home, family, employment, was pretty much the norm back then. Scary stuff, but I had support around me, through some amazingly beautiful ladies who had gone through it all before me. I think this is key, building a support structure. That could start at home, if one is lucky. If not, one is likely going to be forced out of the home.

    At some stage, it will be _really_ obvious to everyone that hormone therapy is well advanced. Then there's the issue of _actual_ transition, where one steps out into the public as a woman, dolled up, with legally-female identification, and interacting with the world the way one should have been interacting since birth (I was scared witless, but this also does get wildly easier, and wildly more sensual and beautiful).

    Jess needs to show that taking hormones, and actual transitioning into the woman she is, is a positive for her, to those around her, and not an anger management strategy.

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