Is This Crossing a Line?

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I'd like to have a weighted blanket, but it's the cost. I've found a weighted vest that's meant for exercise on Walmart.com for about $30... but even then it's hard to put aside that much money. I gotta keep myself padded, and with Christmas coming up...

I'd probably enjoy massages, but again, cost. Everything boils down to money.

My dad still makes his little comments here and there about working, but it's such a sore topic I don't really like talking about it. Or about learning to drive. My parents still pester me about that, but I'm resolved I'll never learn; it's way too much anxiety.

My therapist's Linkedin page says one of the conditions she treats is ''attachment'' but doesn't say anything about ''attachment theory.''
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
I'd like to have a weighted blanket, but it's the cost. I've found a weighted vest that's meant for exercise on Walmart.com for about $30... but even then it's hard to put aside that much money. I gotta keep myself padded, and with Christmas coming up...

I'd probably enjoy massages, but again, cost. Everything boils down to money.

My dad still makes his little comments here and there about working, but it's such a sore topic I don't really like talking about it. Or about learning to drive. My parents still pester me about that, but I'm resolved I'll never learn; it's way too much anxiety.

My therapist's Linkedin page says one of the conditions she treats is ''attachment'' but doesn't say anything about ''attachment theory.''
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Well, she can't treat attachment issues without knowing about attachment theory, so, that's good news. I totally get the not driving thing. I have a suggestion. If you can train a dog with positive reinforcement, you can train almost anything that way, even. . . Birds. Good idea? Don't shoot me for thinking, okay? We don't have to talk about it anymore.
 
I see nothing wrong with it if it doesn't bother her to see it. My mom has tried to encourage me to change in front of her because she knows I wear them and is okay with it. I am still not comfortable with it yet and her seeing my poopy bottom and my wet diaper or messy one.
 
Calico said:
I see nothing wrong with it if it doesn't bother her to see it. My mom has tried to encourage me to change in front of her because she knows I wear them and is okay with it. I am still not comfortable with it yet and her seeing my poopy bottom and my wet diaper or messy one.
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I won't even let my mom see me with a diaper in my hand...
 
Talk to her, if you don't, you won't know. She could endure a lot before blowing up or even saying anything. Just because she ok with it doesn't mean she's comfortable with it.

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The ideal situation would be to find someone who was into ABDL who would give you what you need.


But as far as being touch starved- you should focus on finding more places to get touch, wether it's something simple like hugging, holding hands or dancing. Focus on finding friends who wouldn't mind hugging you, or even find ballroom dancing activities so you could essentially hold hands with someone.


It's better to have a few people who can fulfill the need, rather than just one.

Another short cut that can work when you feel touch starved is offering a massage exchange with a friend/ family member who's comfortable with it. You give a back massage to someone in exchange for someone giving you one.
 
I had a dream, at first it seemed like it was an online friend of mine who was like a mother figure to me, but then it sort of changed and I think became my actual mother, and I wanted to know if she could read me a bedtime story and if I could call her mommy. But my dad was apparently awake in the other room, so we couldn't read the story. I can see some symbolism in that - wanting something but parents standing in the way.

Then I woke up and went into one of my pitiful modes where I actually call out for a ''Mommy'' who doesn't exist. Fun times...
 
Hey, I've got some experience with what you're talking about. I'm a 23-year-old man who still semi-cuddles with his pops while we're watching a movie. (pillow+lap+head, like you said or head on shoulder, etc.) As I got older I started noticing him get a little uncomfortable with it for a while, but knowing him, he's just uncomfortable with any interpersonal contact. He's asperger's (or what you'd nowadays, with the release of DSMV, call a high functioning individual on the autistic spectrum), so I think he was apprehensive about because, though harmless, it violated the "rules" he had known for male-to-male contact in his life (Same reason he never kissed me when I was a baby, etc.) and likely wondered about it's effect on my development. (As he was trained as research psychologist)

I just kept doing it and he got comfortable with it after a month or two and it's never been a big deal since. That said, I've never done it in "AB" mode save when I was in early adolescence and cuddling up with him wearing a footie sleeper, but wearing a sleeper was normal for me for the time. Even if I was still pretty embarrassed about wearing them at my age, they were still normal pajamas and wearing them didn't have any "little" connotations. As such, I've got some questions that, if answered, I think could help answer if you're "crossing a line" or not.

Do you cuddle with your Mom like this only when in "little mode?" Or it is something you do regardless?

How much time do you spend around the house dressed in your little stuff? (like a sleeper/pull-ups/pacifier)

Does your Mom view you wearing your sleeper/pacifier/pull-ups as signal that you're in little mode or not? (For example, do you only break out the sleeper when you're in little mode and wear other pjs when you're not or are they pretty much standard sleepwear/housewear for you regardless of whether you're feeling little or not?)

I feel like answering these questions will go a long way to deciding on whether your mom sees you doing it as part of playing out a little fantasy (which would not be kosher) or whether it's just part of you wanting more parental contact (which is just fine. Healthy, even).
 
Orange said:
Hey, I've got some experience with what you're talking about. I'm a 23-year-old man who still semi-cuddles with his pops while we're watching a movie. (pillow+lap+head, like you said or head on shoulder, etc.) As I got older I started noticing him get a little uncomfortable with it for a while, but knowing him, he's just uncomfortable with any interpersonal contact. He's asperger's (or what you'd nowadays, with the release of DSMV, call a high functioning individual on the autistic spectrum), so I think he was apprehensive about because, though harmless, it violated the "rules" he had known for male-to-male contact in his life (Same reason he never kissed me when I was a baby, etc.) and likely wondered about it's effect on my development. (As he was trained as research psychologist)

I just kept doing it and he got comfortable with it after a month or two and it's never been a big deal since. That said, I've never done it in "AB" mode save when I was in early adolescence and cuddling up with him wearing a footie sleeper, but wearing a sleeper was normal for me for the time. Even if I was still pretty embarrassed about wearing them at my age, they were still normal pajamas and wearing them didn't have any "little" connotations. As such, I've got some questions that, if answered, I think could help answer if you're "crossing a line" or not.

Do you cuddle with your Mom like this only when in "little mode?" Or it is something you do regardless?

How much time do you spend around the house dressed in your little stuff? (like a sleeper/pull-ups/pacifier)

Does your Mom view you wearing your sleeper/pacifier/pull-ups as signal that you're in little mode or not? (For example, do you only break out the sleeper when you're in little mode and wear other pjs when you're not or are they pretty much standard sleepwear/housewear for you regardless of whether you're feeling little or not?)

I feel like answering these questions will go a long way to deciding on whether your mom sees you doing it as part of playing out a little fantasy (which would not be kosher) or whether it's just part of you wanting more parental contact (which is just fine. Healthy, even).
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Well, with me, I'm basically always in ''little mode.'' There's really no on-off switch for me, but I'll try to answer your questions...

1)It's something I've done occasionally in the past (like, before I came out as AB). Or like, last year when I was really upset after the death of my dog, I recall resting my head on her shoulder.

2)I've been known to hang around the house in a sleeper, or with a pacifier or my thumb in my mouth, for a good handful of years now, so that's pretty normal. It's just the bottle and the sippy cup that are really the new additions.

3)No, as I stated above. Stuff like footies is just regular stuff.
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
Well, with me, I'm basically always in ''little mode.'' There's really no on-off switch for me, but I'll try to answer your questions...

1)It's something I've done occasionally in the past (like, before I came out as AB). Or like, last year when I was really upset after the death of my dog, I recall resting my head on her shoulder.

2)I've been known to hang around the house in a sleeper, or with a pacifier or my thumb in my mouth, for a good handful of years now, so that's pretty normal. It's just the bottle and the sippy cup that are really the new additions.

3)No, as I stated above. Stuff like footies is just regular stuff.
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With how accepting she's been of your other little behaviour and how rare it sounds like guys have physical contact, it sounds to me that your Mom's just less used to cuddling in general than bothered by you doing so while wearing a "little" outfit. I think you should be fine as long as when you plan on cuddling you don't go out of your way to engage your little side when you do it. Since its normal for you to wear a paci, sleeper and diaper around the house, I think I should be okay for you to try to cuddle wearing them, but don't be any more little while you're doing so than you normally would be around the house. Idk what kind of diapers you normally wear, but wear those, not any special diapers you have and avoid using the your bottle or sippy cup. I could see how the addition of either of those could weird your Mom out. Maybe it'd be okay if you used them enough for them to become normal for you to use in your parents' eyes, but seeing as they're new I would avoid it. Ease her into it and if she's clear she's feeling it, don't force it and don't inundate her with attempts. If you keep getting rebuffed it's not to be, but don't get discouraged if it happens the first couple times, parental contact is healthy and she might just need a little time to adjust.

Another option would be next time you want to cuddle, wear your least childish pjs, no paci and your least conspicuous diaper (or no diaper if that's an option for you) and see if she's more receptive. If she's not, she's just not a cuddler and you shouldn't hold it against her, but if she is, it might be that she's bothered by what she sees you as engaging your little side while cuddling.

If you do want to try it while wearing your paci, diaper and sleeper, put everything on a few hours before you'd have the opportunity. If you putting everything on right before you want to cuddle, even if it's a coincidence, it could very easily send the wrong message.

Good luck!
 
Orange said:
With how accepting she's been of your other little behaviour and how rare it sounds like guys have physical contact, it sounds to me that your Mom's just less used to cuddling in general than bothered by you doing so while wearing a "little" outfit. I think you should be fine as long as when you plan on cuddling you don't go out of your way to engage your little side when you do it. Since its normal for you to wear a paci, sleeper and diaper around the house, I think I should be okay for you to try to cuddle wearing them, but don't be any more little while you're doing so than you normally would be around the house. Idk what kind of diapers you normally wear, but wear those, not any special diapers you have and avoid using the your bottle or sippy cup. I could see how the addition of either of those could weird your Mom out. Maybe it'd be okay if you used them enough for them to become normal for you to use in your parents' eyes, but seeing as they're new I would avoid it. Ease her into it and if she's clear she's feeling it, don't force it and don't inundate her with attempts. If you keep getting rebuffed it's not to be, but don't get discouraged if it happens the first couple times, parental contact is healthy and she might just need a little time to adjust.

Another option would be next time you want to cuddle, wear your least childish pjs, no paci and your least conspicuous diaper (or no diaper if that's an option for you) and see if she's more receptive. If she's not, she's just not a cuddler and you shouldn't hold it against her, but if she is, it might be that she's bothered by what she sees you as engaging your little side while cuddling.

If you do want to try it while wearing your paci, diaper and sleeper, put everything on a few hours before you'd have the opportunity. If you putting everything on right before you want to cuddle, even if it's a coincidence, it could very easily send the wrong message.

Good luck!
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I don't really think it's the baby stuff that bothers her. I've been using the bottle and sippy cup around her since May, and she's never made any comment. I just don't think she's that cuddly of a person, at least anymore. She was much more receptive to it when I was an [actual] kid.

I don't think she notices when I'm wearing diapers. Most of the time it's modded Pull-Ups, so I don't think she'd be able to tell unless she noticed the outlines of the pins I use, or brushed up against me and felt them.

I haven't tried it again since I made this thread, and wasn't really planning on it...
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
When I came out to my mom about wearing diapers and being an adult baby, I tried sticking to the basic details. She didn't need to know about the sexual element so I left that out - in addition to the whole fact that I desperately yearn for someone to nurture and care for me like an actual child. So there were no ground rules set, no ''Is it OK for me to do this or this?'' So I'm not sure if my mom registers the fact that when I come lie next to her, that's where it's coming from.

I just know that feeling unwanted hurts.
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It's very easy for us to say your Mom doesn't want you doing this and you should stop, but really none of us know your Mom, and people do sometimes make comments that they don't really mean. Perhaps your Mom wasn't being entirely serious, or perhaps she's lashing out a bit due to unrelated stress. That being said, you're right to be thinking of others and you may be onto something.

I'd recommend that the next time you find yourself doing something that you feel may be 'pushing it', or next time your Mom makes a comment like that, ask her if she's uncomfortable or if she would like you to stop. Make it less complicated by asking for her opinion.
 
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