Not sure where to post this...is my brother hinting his DL side to me?

I suffer from incontinence and have some regression tendencies due to being abused as a child. This is no secret in my household. However, in the past week my brother has brought it up into conversations about sleep hypnosis that there is even one that makes you incontient for diaper lovers “isn’t that different” and then asked me about the AB/DL community. I gave him a basic answer and kinda brushed him off. About a week later he started wetting the bed but I didn’t connect the two right away (my incontinence is mostly bedwetting) until this morning I came home to find my room ransacked.....he had pulled apart my room looking for diapers because he knows I have them.

I don’t know if I should (gently) confront him or leave it be or what. I don’t want my room ransacked again that’s for sure. I deserve my space to be uninvaded

pgfdp said:

I don’t want my room ransacked again that’s for sure. I deserve my space to be uninvaded

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There's your answer.

Sit him down and have a talk with him. The main theme should be that he can't be rooting through your stuff and stealing from you. Beyond that, it's up to your discretion about how much of your own interests you reveal to him. It definitely sounds like he's hinting about for someone's approval... but the probably-fake bedwetting and trying to take your stuff is the wrong way to do it. How old is he?

Kick his butt! lol jk Confront him about it! Even if he is into it. He can get his own diapers!! I know nobody touching my diapers! lol

KimbaWolfNagihiko said:

There's your answer.

Sit him down and have a talk with him. The main theme should be that he can't be rooting through your stuff and stealing from you. Beyond that, it's up to your discretion about how much of your own interests you reveal to him. It definitely sounds like he's hinting about for someone's approval... but the probably-fake bedwetting and trying to take your stuff is the wrong way to do it. How old is he?

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He’s 21. I’m 24. We’re both disabled (both autism and me multiple other disabilities if that makes a difference) and living at home. I understand if he’s glad someone gets him, but personal space y’know?

pgfdp said:

He’s 21. I’m 24. We’re both disabled (both autism and me multiple other disabilities if that makes a difference) and living at home. I understand if he’s glad someone gets him, but personal space y’know?

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OK, he's an adult. So I see two routes your conversation could take:

1)Tell him his business is his business and if he wants to wear diapers that's fine, but he can't steal yours, or
2)Tell him you understand where he's coming from because you also like wearing diapers (but he still can't root through your stuff). In this case, if you want to you may offer to share if he asks nicely, or direct him to where he can obtain his own.

I would just leave some nappies in plain site for him and if he takes them you've got your answer.

I'd say confront him, but do it nicely. Maybe start off by say there's nothing wrong with liking diapers, regardless if he needs them or not. Try to find out for sure if he is abdl too, or at least -really-
why he is stealing your diapers. Tell him you're not mad about him taking them though, but you are mad he ransacked your room.

You could offer to give him a diaper or two every now and again, or better yet try and help him find a way to get his own. But make sure he understands that stealing is not the way to go about it.

i know you are mad, and have every right to be, but you may have a kinred spirit here that you could cultivate! get a package of diapers for him go to him when the two of you can talk alone. and say i bought these for you. i think you will like them...etc if you do that is great we can get you more. just please ask rather than tear up my room

If he has wet the bed, buy him some diapers / protection that you think he would be able to use. After all, you have the experience! Then tell him to leave your stuff alone! It doesn't matter if its diapers or underwear or clothes; he needs his own. If he begins to wear the diapers you bought for him, then show him how to purchase for himself.

I would have liked to have had an older brother to teach me about wearing protection for wetting the bed from the time I was 5 through college! I was fortunate my best friend's mother gave me some comforting advice at age 8 but also my parents understood my bed protection needs when I was older and in college (though they never mentioned it, my mom kept a plastic mattress cover on my bed unit I was 10 or 11, even after I came back from college my first holiday and put a plastic cover on my bed myself they never said anything). I had it fairly easy having to wear protection throughout my years and even though I had many partners and relationships and always explained upfront I had to wear protection to make sure I did not wet the bed, I never had a brother or sister to talk about the reality of the situation in a family way.

yeah, i lived with mycousin who also wet. we didnt get help with wetting protection, but we always were there for each other. it helps to have a friend rather than an enemy.