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BlazedAndConfused

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  1. Diaper Lover
Hello All,

I've been a lurker for awhile trying to understand my diaper desires and getting answers to the ways of the lifestyle. Then I finally decided it would be easier to make an account where i can actually ask questions and talk to others about this secret i've been hiding for way to long.

For as long as i can remember from about age 4 or so i've wanted to wear diapers and used to steal them from my younger siblings. Once i graduated and moved out i started buying the biggest baby diapers i could but it just wasn't enough, i wanted the real thing, and a few years later i finally built up the courage to buy some adult tabbed diapers. Since then i haven't wanted to stop wearing, but out of fear of other finding out I only wear when im alone at night or at work if i know no one else will be in. I've never wet in public out of fear of the smell and worrying that it would make the diaper bulge even more noticeable.

A couple nights ago for the first time ever i wore a wet diaper around some friends that showed up unannounced and i didn't have time to change. It was thrilling and scary at the same time, but i think they knew something was up. Now that ive done that i want to start wearing in public and at work more but i have questions and fears about doing that.

Anyway, im rambling so ill just end it here. Can't wait to chat with you guys!
 
Welcome welcome! I’ve had very similar struggles, so I understand the feeling. I still haven’t fully accepted it, but I’m a lot closer than I used to be
 
Hey there Blazed!

Welcome indeed. First off, you're in good company. We've all been there. So many of us spent years trying to figure out why we liked diapers, why we are attracted to them, etc. You'll find out that we all have different yet similar reasons, desires, and feelings. Some people are AB, some are DL, some are IC, some are two or all three. And that's cool! I'm not AB, but I'm partially IC and very DL, and it sounds like you are too. For me, the desire came back after I had night time accidents as I got older. They became more frequent and now I wear most nights, and rarely during the day. You'll find that once the initial thrill and excitement wear off, it becomes really normal and you don't get as anxious as you once did.

Tell us more about yourself. What kinds do you wear, do you have any AB tendencies, are you also IC? Tell us more about the other night when you friends showed up!

The more you interact, the more you'll get out of it, and you'll find out you're in good company here. There are a lot of us with lots of different hobbies, opinions, and stuff beyond. Don't be afraid, we're here to be your sounding board.

~PPB
 
Thanks for the reply!

I'm a DL for sure, ive gone about a month of wearing every evening and sometimes though the night but i get what you mean about the thrill going away. Its still a thrill when around people but to just get home from work and put on a diaper and go about my night has become routine and almost normal.

I spent years trying to ignore the thoughts and pretend that i don't have the constant urge to wear a diaper. Like some days its all i can think about until i just go put one on and then everything is back to normal and i can go about my day. I worry sometimes that feeding the urge will only make things worse but I find them calming for some reason, when life gets to stressful is when i find myself wearing the most. I can be in a full blown anxiety attack when i decide to diaper up and then its like the weight of the world has been lifted. I'm not an AB but with how comforting i find them I think it is something i could get into. I've never had someone to change me or treat me like a baby but after long days at a very stressful job i think i would really enjoy just letting go and being a child again.

I'm not IC but i have epilepsy & IBS and with most of the bigger seizures comes loss of bladder control, its not fun coming out of a seizure to realize your laying in a puddle of your own mess and having diapers around has come in handy for situations where i feel a seizure coming on. It sucks sometimes to deal with but its nice to have an excuse for having diapers if anyone finds out about them and inquires why i would want to wear them.

Right now i have Assurance Stretch Briefs from Walmart while i try to figure out if wearing 24/7 is something i want to work up to or if its something i could pull off at all. They work ok for the most part. Im right in between the two sizes they offer and so i have a pack of both. I use the small/medium for when i have the courage to wear in public or around friends at night but i try not to wet in it while in public as im afraid it might smell or be noticed bulging (im sure that all new people worry about this) but i have filled it over capacity with minimal leakage so i was impressed by that.
I wear the Large/XL which are just a little to big were the small/medium are just a tinny bit to small. The large feels wonderful and really soft and poofy and more like what i was looking for in a diaper. The downside is it shows a lot more and i can't hide it as well as the small one but i have had great luck with really filling it with a couple full on gushes and it not leaking for a walmart diaper.

As for the other night when i had unannounced visitors i was just sitting there watching tv and had just filled my diaper about half way when a few friends showed up wanting to hang out. I freaked out for a few minutes worrying that they would be able to smell it or that they would notice the outline in the sweatpants i had on over it. So i just sat in my chair and tried not to move around to much, i freaked out the entire time they were here and the moment they left was such a relief i flooded the rest of it, took a shower and went to bed. It was enough diaper time for me that night.

While i have you were would be the best place to ask a few questions like the following?
1. Are wipes really enough? Im basically a germaphobe and have always taken a shower in between for that clean feeling but if i go 24/7 that won't always be an option and i worry i might smell.
2. How noticeable is a wet diaper. If i pee walking though the store are people going to be able to notice?
3. How long is to long to be in a wet diaper? Some days i might pee a lot and other a little, on the days its a little if i wet a diaper little by little and then stay in it for 3 or 4 hours is that to long?
4. I've read all the threads i could find here about the different brands and have a few im going to try out, has anyone had problems with non discrete shipping? Id rather not have the entire apartment complex know i ordered them.

Thanks for your time and hope you have a wonderful day!
 
Welcome to ADISC!

If you search through the forums, I think you will find most of your questions answered but I will give you the short answer here. If you need more, just head over to the Diaper Forum and post your question there.

BlazedAndConfused said:
1. Are wipes really enough? Im basically a germaphobe and have always taken a shower in between for that clean feeling but if i go 24/7 that won't always be an option and i worry i might smell.

Showering is the best but using several wipes is fine. To help with the smell, drink plenty of water, if you are well hydrated, your pee will have little to no smell.

2. How noticeable is a wet diaper. If i pee walking though the store are people going to be able to notice?

In general - NO. If you wear tight pants or have one of the diapers that really expand when wet, then maybe people may notice but people really do not notice things.

3. How long is to long to be in a wet diaper? Some days i might pee a lot and other a little, on the days its a little if i wet a diaper little by little and then stay in it for 3 or 4 hours is that to long?

Three to four hours is generally fine. Some people with sensitive skin may want to change sooner or use some preventive creams. I can go to eight hours without a problem.

4. I've read all the threads i could find here about the different brands and have a few im going to try out, has anyone had problems with non discrete shipping?

Most ABDL companies will ship discreetly but you can always ask here for confirmation or contact the seller to verify.
 
Thanks for answering my questions! This really intrigues me.
BabyDenise said:
Three to four hours is generally fine. Some people with sensitive skin may want to change sooner or use some preventive creams. I can go to eight hours without a problem.

I would figure that 8 hours in a wet diaper would be the perfect way to get diaper rash but i suppose a good premium diaper that will wick the wet away from the
skin better will make a huge difference.
 
Welcome, I too am new around these parts and spent over 30 years trying to find the answer as to WHY? I'm no nearer coming up with an answer. I gave up looking trying to answer WHY and just decided I don't care on the reason, it's here to stay and I might as well enjoy it :)

BlazedAndConfused said:
A couple nights ago for the first time ever i wore a wet diaper around some friends that showed up unannounced and i didn't have time to change. It was thrilling and scary at the same time, but i think they knew something was up. Now that ive done that i want to start wearing in public and at work more but i have questions and fears about doing that.

It's posts like these that make me smile, situations that only people around here would understand :)
 
indigodl said:
Welcome, I too am new around these parts and spent over 30 years trying to find the answer as to WHY? I'm no nearer coming up with an answer. I gave up looking trying to answer WHY and just decided I don't care on the reason, it's here to stay and I might as well enjoy it :)
It's posts like these that make me smile, situations that only people around here would understand :)

I'm getting to that point of not trying to understand why anymore and just taking the diapered life by the reins and diving in full bore to satisfy my desires. Your so right about only people around here understanding situations like I was in, but I think the biggest thing, at least for me, is just the fact that there is other people in this world that are also DL. So many days through my childhood and adolescence that i thought something was wrong with me and i was the only one who would want to wear a diaper.

So after 30 years of trying to find answers did you get over the small things like the embarrassment to walk into the store and buy a pack? Or the fear other might find out and judge... things like that? Has it affected dating life, marriage or anything like that?
 
BlazedAndConfused said:
but I think the biggest thing, at least for me, is just the fact that there is other people in this world that are also DL. So many days through my childhood and adolescence that i thought something was wrong with me and i was the only one who would want to wear a diaper.

When I this all started for me we didn't have the internet so for the longest time I was convinced there was something wrong with me, all I had to do was ignore it and it would go away. Years later on a whim I decided to search the internet for some kind of answer and the point I found out I wasn't the ONLY person with this feeling was a revelation. I still remember that point when I sat there stunned that there were other people out there just like me.

BlazedAndConfused said:
So after 30 years of trying to find answers did you get over the small things like the embarrassment to walk into the store and buy a pack?

Yes, the urge and feeling just became WAY to strong, I got into a mindset of do it now and deal with the consequences later. Luckily I found a physical store nearby that actually stocked ABU diapers. That drive to the store will probably be one of my the most scariest and thrilling rides ever that I can never really explain to anybody. I sat in the car outside, one part of me saying "this is stupid, turn back NOW!" and another saying "You've waited 30 years for this moment, don't you DARE chicken out!".

I pushed myself though it, having to hold my hands to stop myself shaking, went in, asked for them, and do you know what? It was a complete anti-climax, it was as if I was buying something mundane. Anyway, I took those diapers threw them in the car and I was off.... FINALLY after all these years I was minutes away, I don't even remember the drive home I was SO excited.

That first diaper was.. HEAVEN, like a bit of me finally slotting into place. That's the point that I realised I can't go back, this is here to stay, and really, this has been a part of me for SO long (even though I had tried to kill it) that I don't actually WANT it to go away....it's FUN!

BlazedAndConfused said:
Has it affected dating life, marriage or anything like that?

Well after the fun of that first diaper, reality kicked in, I was a mess, WHAT had I done! I had the guilt etc, but the next day... I was back in a diaper, it was a confusing roller coaster. During this crazy ride, I decided it would be a good time to tell my wife, but I really wasn't in the right head space and I couldn't get the words out, I'd protected this secret for SO long. The conversation ended with me stammering and her just saying "well if you're not going to tell me!", I was SO annoyed with myself, but actually in the long run it was better I got me head sorted out first.

Anyway, to cut a long story short, I've spent a month since that first time getting my head and thoughts into gear, and really I think I'm on the way to just accepting this. I still HAVE to tell my wife (that's a conversation that's coming up soon!) but I'm oddly calm about it. At the moment I'm kind of in a feeling of knowing this isn't going away and having this hidden side is tiring.

Who knows what's going to happen, life has dealt me these cards and I'll just have to deal with what happens next..... in the comfort of these AWESOME Kiddo diapers (I mean they have OWLS on them!) :)
 
BlazedAndConfused said:
Thanks for answering my questions! This really intrigues me.
I would figure that 8 hours in a wet diaper would be the perfect way to get diaper rash but i suppose a good premium diaper that will wick the wet away from the
skin better will make a huge difference.

You will find by reading the boards that there is usually no rhyme or reason as to why certain people develop bad rash and why others don't, if you put their wearing habits side by side. Generally, if you change frequently and keep air to your 'bits', you'll be good. I developed a nasty rash earlier this year, it turned out to be a reaction to a new diaper that I was wearing that had rubbed against the skin , breking it down and causing the inflammation and irritation. I will say, if you have good habits and really good diapers, 8+ hours at a time shoudn't be a big deal. I routinely wear 8 hours every night and don't have a problem, as I use good diapers (Confidry 24/7's) that do a fantastic job of keeping my skin dry and happy.
 
indigodl said:
Yes, the urge and feeling just became WAY to strong, I got into a mindset of do it now and deal with the consequences later. Luckily I found a physical store nearby that actually stocked ABU diapers. That drive to the store will probably be one of my the most scariest and thrilling rides ever that I can never really explain to anybody. I sat in the car outside, one part of me saying "this is stupid, turn back NOW!" and another saying "You've waited 30 years for this moment, don't you DARE chicken out!".

I can understand that. I finally convinced myself to buy my first pack of adult diapers in a kind of weird way. I had been thinking about buying a pack but it seemed weird and felt like i would be taking a huge step into feeding the urge which i was already worried about doing. The problem was at the time i lived in a small town, the kind of place where the rest of town would know i just bought a pack of diapers before i even made it home. Well anyway the urge kept growing but i just kept ignoring it. Then one night i slipped on some wet floor and knocked myself out on the way down, ended up with a concussion and a terrible headache. The next morning i was sitting there really out of it wishing i could be in a diaper so i wouldn't have to get up and i had this thought and strong urge of "your doing this now". I got up and got dressed and drove an hour to the next closest and bigger town and went to Target. I sat in the parking lot for awhile like why the hell did i just drive an hour with a concussion for a pack of diapers. I felt kind of disgusted with myself and out of that i was like "fine, you've come this far you might as well just do it and get it over with" so i walked in and bought a pack of the first thing that looked like that diaper and not a pullup and got out as fast as i could.

End the end i was really happy i finally did it, the relief i felt putting the first one on was amazing and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my chest.

indigodl said:
I still HAVE to tell my wife (that's a conversation that's coming up soon!) but I'm oddly calm about it. At the moment I'm kind of in a feeling of knowing this isn't going away and having this hidden side is tiring.

Who knows what's going to happen, life has dealt me these cards and I'll just have to deal with what happens next..... in the comfort of these AWESOME Kiddo diapers (I mean they have OWLS on them!) :)

Wish you luck! Hopefully she is understanding and things go great for you. You sound like you have a great attitude about life and how it goes sometimes.

Im jealous of the owls, but im just hoping to find some rocket ship ones which would be amazing!
 
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