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Thread: A little fed up

  1. #1

    Angry A little fed up

    People continued to ask for my help without even hearing for my answer. They just assume I'm willing. My friends, my family and my boss. "Hey you could help me" Pulls my arm and just makes me follow. My dad "Hey you need to be up at such and such time, we're fixing, building, or looking at something" No "Hey are you busy tomorrow around such and such time?" No "I could use your help if at all possible" When the table is turned the other way around, I get completely shut down. "No I don't have the time" "I'm busy" "You don't me for that" This is why I hate dealing with almost everyone. People are horrible. Everyone just cares about themselves.

  2. #2

    Default

    Yeah, there's people like that out there. It is frustrating when you help out a lot, but then nobody helps you out in return. Especially when you probably didn't want to help them out in the first place. I got crabby Thursday and Friday because of tests and my essay that was due. Plus I spilled pop all over myself. So I guess we're both in the same boat of being "a little crabby" still. We can take a nap and it'll be all better once we wake up.

  3. #3

    Default

    The tendency of people to ask you favours probably originates from a disposition you have. Maybe you have the tendency to always help everyone out? I think many people would agree that's not a bad thing but by helping everyone you might neglect yourself or engage in friendships not realising they are only there for use, not joy or anything deeper.

    IF you ask me, friendships (any friendly contact with other human beings) can be based on 3 different interests or a combination of those. 1. joy 2. use 3. personality. Now regarding your boss, that is a friendship based on use. It can be more but use is in that friendship guaranteed from the beginning and so it's natural you do things for your boss. Your boss in return pays you. Nevertheless you don't have to do more than is in your job description if it's simply too much. That will wear you out and it won't be worth the money I think.

    Regarding your friends. Some friendships also have use in them. One friend uses the other for something. This is especially fine when the one who does favours is superior is some way to those who receives favours. The one who gives should then feel joy in doing the favour and the one who receives the favour should feel satisfaction in a certain way. Actually there are many different kinds of friendship and it's up to you to decide whether they are worth it for you.

    When it comes to your family; your parents for example. You should feel joy in helping your parents in every way that is reasonable. They gave you life and they spend endless effort in raising you (I guess). You could likely never pay them back what they did for you.

    What might be useful to you is to evaluate those things your friendships with the people you know are based upon. Then you can decide whether you like it this way or you want to change it. "everyone just cares about themselves" well everyone does care about themselves but some also care about others. The highest form of friendship is based on personality. This is when two people like each other because of how decent people they are. Those friendships appear to be rare though and one cannot expect to have many of those friendships, if at all.

  4. #4

    Default

    Been there, done that...
    Until you apply some assertiveness towards these people 'Volunteering' you? They're only going to continue doing so. The clincher is that, when YOU need help, they are never available for YOU. You are being used.

    Stop letting them use you.

    B.

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