Hey. I'm an AB/DL with a history of mild continence issues. I transitioned into diapers a couple of years ago for AB/DL reasons and have been full-time since.
The most general note I'd make is that I maintained mostly normal toileting pretty much through discipline and habit. As a result, since switching to relying on diapers, my continence has basically collapsed. Prior to diapers, I had moderately frequent wetting accidents and the occasional messing accident triggered by foods I'm sensitive to (so I avoided them). Since diapers, it's gotten to the point I'm virtually constantly wet, and have developed bedwetting (which I haven't been dealing with since toilet training). My messing control is still mostly intact but in my opinion there's been a noticeable degradation. All of this still has less of an impact on my life than trying to toilet properly and failing, but I definitely couldn't go back to underwear immediately, so keep that in mind.
That having been said, my first recommendation would be that if you're in proper diapers at work, that you use them. When I was still regularly toileting, my experience was that trying to use tape-on diapers like pull-ups messed with the fit and led to worse sagging and slightly more leaks.
My second recommendation would be that if you're conscious about the smell, that firstly that you look into foods and drinks that cause increased urine odour and try to cut down on any of those that are present in your diet. I'd also recommend that you start wearing plastic pants. They don't block odour flawlessly but in my opinion they do cut it down. Lined plastic pants (with a terry or flannelette liner) are even better because they catch leaks from disposable diapers and add another layer of odour protection.
I think that ultimately the only way to get over being embarrassed about loud diaper changes in public toilets is to just do it. You could also consider cloth-backed diapers. I know that when I was in Abena M3s, the sound of changing was a weird velcro-ripping sound that I don't think most people would immediately associate with diapers. When you change, bag your diapers, or maybe double-bag them. That way you can store them for a (very) limited amount of time in your bag if you're not comfortable disposing of them in the bathroom.