ozziebee
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 240
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
I think I am experiencing the beginning of IC.
I started a new job two years ago, in a high pressure corporate office environment where I'm required to write lots of IT risk-based documents for internal business units. So I've been sitting down in front of a computer all day for two years, not moving around much.
No big deal until I got home one day about 4 months after starting to find my feet had swollen to beach balls. I went to the Dr, who referred me to see a cardiac specialist, who put me on a strong diuretic. I survived that experience all of two days - the first day was ok, the second day I'd wet myself at work through the urgency. I stopped those tablets immediately, and went back to my Dr, who tried a gentler version. Still not liking the experience, I stopped taking those diuretics altogether.
Ever since that episode, I've been urine spotting. Not outwardly noticeable, but I notice it. I'd even started wearing light feminine hygiene pads to stop the wetness, which often did not work well.
Fast forward to July, and I was noticing this get a bit worse, and my wee pattern getting a bit strange too. I could sit on the toilet, and one day have a seemingly normal stream, and others, have a tiny dribble that didn't seem to satiate the urge to pee. Now, today, all I can do is tiny but frequent dribbles at work. I commute home often in pain and a feeling of being sick and uncomfortable.
I went overseas in July. By the time I got off the plane after flying 10+ hours, I was wet, my knickers were wet, I had to change. I even predicted it, and took a spare pad and a couple of spare knickers.
Flew home a few weeks later, same deal, just as wet.
So a few days after getting home, I pulled out my Tena pullups, and started wearing them. I went to my Dr, told her all about my adventures, and am now booked in to see an Urologist.
But it's getting worse, or maybe I'm making it worse. I flooded my pullups a few times at home (not deliberately), and thought "screw this, I'm wearing nappies", and for the past 4 weeks, I've been wearing pullups to work, and nappies at home and on weekends. I'm ok with wearing nappies, though the thought of wearing them to work scares me, hence the pullups. I can go out into the public no worries, just not to work.
Whilst at home, the flooding is getting more frequent, I'm often dribbling in between floods without any warning or sensation, I'll do what I would think a reasonable volume wee into a nappy, then 5 minutes later, do another one with just as much volume.
When I bend over, or sneeze, or cough, or laugh, or yawn, I leak.
Today I've been getting bladder spasms that have led to dribbling into the pullup at work, irrespective of whether I've been to the toilet or now. These spasms have been off and on the past few weeks, and can be really unpleasant.
I'm concerned about the apparent lack of ability to pass wee at work, and seemingly infinite ability to wee at home. I think this is due to my being relaxed at home and in privacy, but really concerned about having another accident at work, so being really tense, which is really tiring. Yes, key in home door phenomenon works really well...
Some history - I'm 45yo, and 20+ years post-op MtF transgendered (so I still have a prostate - they took all the other bits, bar that little nugget...).
For pretty much my entire junior years up to University, I was often profoundly bowel IC, but had _really_ good bladder muscles. I could stop mid-stream, and hold it (not now though). Mum used to resort to nappies as punishment of my bowel accidents when I was little, but that never lasted more than a few nights at a time. Docs and shrinks would wave it off as being lazy. But I was never getting any warning or sensation that I needed to go - I would just get a sudden intense pain all through my abdomen, and that's that out it came. That sudden intense pain now still happens from time to time, but I've learnt how to hold it in until I can get to the toilet.
Post-op I had no problem with either bowel or bladder (maybe "leak" once or twice from the rear end as lingering continuation of my bowel IC).
I've been a DL all my life, so being 8 or so, and having a doc say to my mum "put him in nappies"... ah the lost opportunity!
I had an opportunity to broach the fact I have to see an urologist in a few weeks to my sister recently. "What for?" "Oh, I leak". Her first comment was "is it your prostate?". When we were doing shopping, she pointed to some light pads, I said "no, I need better protection", and left it at that. I'm pretty sure she later saw a pullup in the bin that afternoon.
My concern is that i am seeing bowel changes now too, with constipation. I'm really hoping my bowel issues dont recur, but I wouldn't be surprised if it does return. Being in nappies will certainly help that along, unfortunately.
I'm also going through a quite stressful time in my life at the moment, as I'm in settlement period on purchasing a block of land, and signing contracts to have a house built on it. I'm coping with that stress, and getting some half decent sleep as a result, by regressing into AB at night (I did this when I had my gender reassignment surgery too - stress and a bit of "re-birth").
I'm scared of the future, but at the same time, I'm weirdly partly ok with the thought of an outcome being IC. Wearing knickers again would be great, and I'll try to fight for that freedom, just not through taking drugs (I'm notorious for not taking medication), because I can't tolerate headaches and side effects that would affect my work.
Sorry... wall of text there. Thoughts?
I started a new job two years ago, in a high pressure corporate office environment where I'm required to write lots of IT risk-based documents for internal business units. So I've been sitting down in front of a computer all day for two years, not moving around much.
No big deal until I got home one day about 4 months after starting to find my feet had swollen to beach balls. I went to the Dr, who referred me to see a cardiac specialist, who put me on a strong diuretic. I survived that experience all of two days - the first day was ok, the second day I'd wet myself at work through the urgency. I stopped those tablets immediately, and went back to my Dr, who tried a gentler version. Still not liking the experience, I stopped taking those diuretics altogether.
Ever since that episode, I've been urine spotting. Not outwardly noticeable, but I notice it. I'd even started wearing light feminine hygiene pads to stop the wetness, which often did not work well.
Fast forward to July, and I was noticing this get a bit worse, and my wee pattern getting a bit strange too. I could sit on the toilet, and one day have a seemingly normal stream, and others, have a tiny dribble that didn't seem to satiate the urge to pee. Now, today, all I can do is tiny but frequent dribbles at work. I commute home often in pain and a feeling of being sick and uncomfortable.
I went overseas in July. By the time I got off the plane after flying 10+ hours, I was wet, my knickers were wet, I had to change. I even predicted it, and took a spare pad and a couple of spare knickers.
Flew home a few weeks later, same deal, just as wet.
So a few days after getting home, I pulled out my Tena pullups, and started wearing them. I went to my Dr, told her all about my adventures, and am now booked in to see an Urologist.
But it's getting worse, or maybe I'm making it worse. I flooded my pullups a few times at home (not deliberately), and thought "screw this, I'm wearing nappies", and for the past 4 weeks, I've been wearing pullups to work, and nappies at home and on weekends. I'm ok with wearing nappies, though the thought of wearing them to work scares me, hence the pullups. I can go out into the public no worries, just not to work.
Whilst at home, the flooding is getting more frequent, I'm often dribbling in between floods without any warning or sensation, I'll do what I would think a reasonable volume wee into a nappy, then 5 minutes later, do another one with just as much volume.
When I bend over, or sneeze, or cough, or laugh, or yawn, I leak.
Today I've been getting bladder spasms that have led to dribbling into the pullup at work, irrespective of whether I've been to the toilet or now. These spasms have been off and on the past few weeks, and can be really unpleasant.
I'm concerned about the apparent lack of ability to pass wee at work, and seemingly infinite ability to wee at home. I think this is due to my being relaxed at home and in privacy, but really concerned about having another accident at work, so being really tense, which is really tiring. Yes, key in home door phenomenon works really well...
Some history - I'm 45yo, and 20+ years post-op MtF transgendered (so I still have a prostate - they took all the other bits, bar that little nugget...).
For pretty much my entire junior years up to University, I was often profoundly bowel IC, but had _really_ good bladder muscles. I could stop mid-stream, and hold it (not now though). Mum used to resort to nappies as punishment of my bowel accidents when I was little, but that never lasted more than a few nights at a time. Docs and shrinks would wave it off as being lazy. But I was never getting any warning or sensation that I needed to go - I would just get a sudden intense pain all through my abdomen, and that's that out it came. That sudden intense pain now still happens from time to time, but I've learnt how to hold it in until I can get to the toilet.
Post-op I had no problem with either bowel or bladder (maybe "leak" once or twice from the rear end as lingering continuation of my bowel IC).
I've been a DL all my life, so being 8 or so, and having a doc say to my mum "put him in nappies"... ah the lost opportunity!
I had an opportunity to broach the fact I have to see an urologist in a few weeks to my sister recently. "What for?" "Oh, I leak". Her first comment was "is it your prostate?". When we were doing shopping, she pointed to some light pads, I said "no, I need better protection", and left it at that. I'm pretty sure she later saw a pullup in the bin that afternoon.
My concern is that i am seeing bowel changes now too, with constipation. I'm really hoping my bowel issues dont recur, but I wouldn't be surprised if it does return. Being in nappies will certainly help that along, unfortunately.
I'm also going through a quite stressful time in my life at the moment, as I'm in settlement period on purchasing a block of land, and signing contracts to have a house built on it. I'm coping with that stress, and getting some half decent sleep as a result, by regressing into AB at night (I did this when I had my gender reassignment surgery too - stress and a bit of "re-birth").
I'm scared of the future, but at the same time, I'm weirdly partly ok with the thought of an outcome being IC. Wearing knickers again would be great, and I'll try to fight for that freedom, just not through taking drugs (I'm notorious for not taking medication), because I can't tolerate headaches and side effects that would affect my work.
Sorry... wall of text there. Thoughts?