Attachment Issues

Does anyone have or had an attachment issue? I have a serious one to the point where I have anxiety attacks.

I did as a kid, but I also had symptoms of Borderline Personality disorder. I had to see a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility. I solved the problem by getting married, so I'm very attached to my wife. At the moment she's in the hospital with several things wrong with her. I really need her to be home with me, but I'll have to wait a week or so.

When I was a kid, I always had a best friend, and if he wasn't home after school or on the weekend, I would get depressed. It is what it is and one needs to find ways to deal with it. Staying busy is very important and having some outside interests.

I have really serious attachment issues too, both to people and to objects. Some days it’s worse than others. My main ones are my wife and my very closest friends. I need to know what they’re doing and when I can and can’t talk to them in advance otherwise I freak out and there can be tears and a lot of rocking back and forward to try and wrap my head around it (I’m autistic). Other things would be my comfort objects like my blankie. I’ve had to start bringing it to work so even though I can’t get it out, I know it’s still nearby and then it’s easier to deal with.

My attachment to people tends to trigger more anxiety though. I was abused whenever I was really young and so sometimes people leaving me can make me feel like I’m unsafe and then I’d have the anxiety attacks and there’d be a lot of crying. It’s really hard sometimes.


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dogboy said:

I did as a kid, but I also had symptoms of Borderline Personality disorder. I had to see a psychiatrist at a residential mental facility. I solved the problem by getting married, so I'm very attached to my wife. At the moment she's in the hospital with several things wrong with her. I really need her to be home with me, but I'll have to wait a week or so.

When I was a kid, I always had a best friend, and if he wasn't home after school or on the weekend, I would get depressed. It is what it is and one needs to find ways to deal with it. Staying busy is very important and having some outside interests.

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I have been through a mental facility myself. But I haven't had these attachment issues until I started dating my present boyfriend. He and I are always on the phone or hanging out. And he just started a new job and now I have to get used to him not being on the phone all the time.

PrincessStef said:

I have been through a mental facility myself. But I haven't had these attachment issues until I started dating my present boyfriend. He and I are always on the phone or hanging out. And he just started a new job and now I have to get used to him not being on the phone all the time.

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It will be important for your relationship that you don't smother him. If you have a good relationship now, you should be okay. Everyone has to do the essentials like work, and other things which takes one away from the other, and this is normal. Actually, I was good about all of that. For some reason, things got to be very normal in my life, a time and place for all things. I've learned to listen to myself and especially my thoughts. I've learned to assess myself to make sure that people are comfortable around me. When I was younger, my mental filter didn't always work like it should, and I'd say things that I thought were clever or funny, but older people can be fuddy duddies, etc.

Borderlines can get it under control and live normal lives. I have and things have worked out well. I'm greatly appreciated in my job, so something must be going right. I guess I learned to think before I leapt.