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Thread: Nappy help

  1. #1
    staceT

    Default Nappy help

    Hi

    I dont know what i am expecting but here goes.

    I recently had my mother staying, she suffered parkinsons and was incontinent, she was moved to a hospice where she passed away, at home we had a massive NHS supply of incon nappies which the hospice refused to take saying they can only use a preferred supplier.. Oh the grear UK NHS!! i decided to offer them to a good home via gumtree, when someone asked how many i had i realised that quite a few were missing. I was baffled as i knew all the boxes were full, when i asked my son if he knew i could tell by his reaction was wrong.
    Any way after a couple of hours he came clean and admitted he had been wearing them, in fact he had been wearing and peeing in them for 2 month, i was shocked but was also worried about his distress that i had found out, he was sobbing and i could only comfort him, He told me he really enjoys wearing them and wants to wear them permenantly. To keep him from getting too upset i told him its no big deal and i will support him, infact since it came out he is really chilled and i have told him i wont get rid of the supply.
    i want to know is this just a passing fad or will he spend the rest of the days in a nappy.
    are their any long term effects of wearing them?

    i just need someone for help and advice

  2. #2

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by staceT View Post
    Hi

    I dont know what i am expecting but here goes.

    I recently had my mother staying, she suffered parkinsons and was incontinent, she was moved to a hospice where she passed away, at home we had a massive NHS supply of incon nappies which the hospice refused to take saying they can only use a preferred supplier.. Oh the grear UK NHS!! i decided to offer them to a good home via gumtree, when someone asked how many i had i realised that quite a few were missing. I was baffled as i knew all the boxes were full, when i asked my son if he knew i could tell by his reaction was wrong.
    Any way after a couple of hours he came clean and admitted he had been wearing them, in fact he had been wearing and peeing in them for 2 month, i was shocked but was also worried about his distress that i had found out, he was sobbing and i could only comfort him, He told me he really enjoys wearing them and wants to wear them permenantly. To keep him from getting too upset i told him its no big deal and i will support him, infact since it came out he is really chilled and i have told him i wont get rid of the supply.
    i want to know is this just a passing fad or will he spend the rest of the days in a nappy.
    are their any long term effects of wearing them?

    i just need someone for help and advice
    First, THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING YOUR SON. Many of us here were never given that chance, or even punished for it.

    His "interest" is most likely not a passing fad. When we become compelled to wear (and use) diapers, especially at an early age, it is an ingrained part of who we are. Think of it like being gay, this isn't something we just one day choose, nor is it something we can just choose to give up. And who knows why we become/are this way too.

    Encourage him to talk about how diapers make him feel too. This will help you both come to understand it better. Many of us find this difficult to do though, so counseling for you both may help (think of therapists as life coaches).

    This all said, it's probably a good idea to lay down some ground rules about his diaper use. Ultimately it will all be up to you both, but some suggestions might be: He cannot wear diapers every single night (as this can lead to bedwetting- or if you're both willing to accept that). He can wear diapers around the house, but never with them exposed and he must be discrete when wearing them.

    Also consider how will he resupply his stock of diapers later on. He shouldn't expect a free ride, but they should be made reasonably available to him. Maybe extra chores, or even a part time job in the summer.

    Think about disposal too. He may need a diaper pail (kitchen trash cans with a solid lid on them work good for this). And I'd guess you'd want him responsible for taking out his used diaper trash every week too.

    Good luck with it all. And always post back here if you have more questions.

  3. #3
    MassIncon

    Default

    it never goes away.

    I'm not into the ABDL lifestyle but from what I've seen on this forum, it seems pretty deeply ingrained in people.

    It's a little weird, but hey it's not heroin!

    Really, it's no big deal. It's just a garment under his clothes. keep it in perspective.

  4. #4

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by staceT View Post
    I was baffled as i knew all the boxes were full, when i asked my son if he knew i could tell by his reaction was wrong.
    Any way after a couple of hours he came clean and admitted he had been wearing them, in fact he had been wearing and peeing in them for 2 month, i was shocked but was also worried about his distress that i had found out, he was sobbing and i could only comfort him, He told me he really enjoys wearing them and wants to wear them permenantly. To keep him from getting too upset i told him its no big deal and i will support him, infact since it came out he is really chilled and i have told him i wont get rid of the supply.
    i want to know is this just a passing fad or will he spend the rest of the days in a nappy.
    are their any long term effects of wearing them?
    I will echo the thanks for supporting your son, many parents would not be as accepting as you are. You are doing the right thing by allowing him the chance to express himself and experiment.

    It could be a fad but it is more likely something that could last a lifetime. I used to be somebody that enjoyed wearing them but do not any longer, but most folk here will tell you it is not a passing phase. Many of us started when we were young, or at least had thoughts and desires about it at a young age. The first thing to get straight in your head is that it is just a quirk of your sons personality and turning it into any kind of negative could do more harm than good in the long run. Many are ashamed of their enjoyment and this can be traced back to how much society can shun our community for being different. Not making a big deal of it may help your son rationalise his own desires to wear them and keep him in good mental health in the long run.

    Communication is key here, keep an open dialogue and try your best to understand his motivations behind his desires. I am not saying to become involved in the practical side, as that could be weird, but by discussing what is happening it may help to keep it as a healthy, quirky interest and stop it becoming an obsession. The last thing you want is for your son to go down the rabbit hole of making this a compulsion. Many on this site will be able to share their stories where nappies become an overwhelming force in their lives and it can become unbearable keeping the secret. It can lead to anxiety and worry about the future.

    From what you have explained you seem to have a handle on the situation and by taking small steps you may find that there is nothing to worry about. In terms of long lasting effects the only real worry would be rashes or urinary tract infections, but our good friends in the incontinence section of the forum are best placed to help you on this matter. I will end by saying try not to worry about it and work with your son to help him feel comfortable in working out what all this means for him. Patience will be important and do your best to not push for answers. It could be he needs time to reflect on what he is experiencing and knowing you are there if he needs it would be a great support that not many of us here ever had.

    Best of luck, let us know how it goes and please ask if there is anything you need.

  5. #5

    Default

    I too would like to echo the thought of your being supportive to your son.

    As for myself my Paraphilic Infantilism came form a very young age and went uncontrolled until I cam to this group and gained understanding and self acceptance.

    What you are doing is the best thing in my opinion.

    Your son will go through binge and purge stages. IF you talk to him and gain understanding, then you can set boundaries and help him gain control over the needs and urges.

    I hope you the best of luck.

    Egor

  6. #6

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by staceT View Post
    Hi

    I dont know what i am expecting but here goes.

    I recently had my mother staying, she suffered parkinsons and was incontinent, she was moved to a hospice where she passed away, at home we had a massive NHS supply of incon nappies which the hospice refused to take saying they can only use a preferred supplier.. Oh the grear UK NHS!! i decided to offer them to a good home via gumtree, when someone asked how many i had i realised that quite a few were missing. I was baffled as i knew all the boxes were full, when i asked my son if he knew i could tell by his reaction was wrong.
    Any way after a couple of hours he came clean and admitted he had been wearing them, in fact he had been wearing and peeing in them for 2 month, i was shocked but was also worried about his distress that i had found out, he was sobbing and i could only comfort him, He told me he really enjoys wearing them and wants to wear them permenantly. To keep him from getting too upset i told him its no big deal and i will support him, infact since it came out he is really chilled and i have told him i wont get rid of the supply.
    i want to know is this just a passing fad or will he spend the rest of the days in a nappy.
    are their any long term effects of wearing them?

    i just need someone for help and advice
    Again, much respect for being open-minded and seeking advice rather than instantly passing judgement on your son. And sorry for your loss.

    For reasons I really don't understand, I've also had an attraction to wearing nappies since I was about 5 year old. It really is as strange to me as it must be to you. I've no idea how it works (magic?!) but nappies really calm me down and make me feel "okay" with the world... as if I'm taking a holiday from my mind.

    This kind of interest seems to be fairly deep-rooted and not something that just "disappears". If anything, for me, the shame of having to keep it a secret, and the inability to act out my fantasy (until I was an adult), and (in the days before widespread internet access) thinking that I was alone in these "perversions"... probably led to me wanting nappies even more... and becoming even more distressed about how weird that was.

    If there is one thing you can do to help your son, it would be to accept what he's telling you, and let him know that you love him no matter what. There are no long-term problems associated with wearing nappies, but the shame and self-criticism that often accompanies an interest like this can be psychologically damaging.

    For many people, the interest in wearing nappies seems to be related, in some way or another, to a need to reduce anxiety. I would perhaps look into the symptoms of anxiety and ways in which your son may be able to reduce his anxiety levels. I have noticed that my interest in nappies significantly reduces as I get less anxious. "Mindfulness" sounds like some nonsense psychobabble, until I realised that it's exactly what I do when I wear a nappy. I tune out the rest of the world, and focus only on bodily sensations. The area a nappy covers has some of the most densely-packed nerve-endings in the body.

    I don't know what kind of relationship you have with your son, but I think it would be a good idea to discuss this further, and maybe come to some agreement as to how your son will manage his interest. I think it's perfectly acceptable to say that he should keep these things (more-or-less) in the bedroom, or otherwise so discreet no-one would know.

    There are obvious hygiene issues with nappies, so again it would be fine to insist in swift disposal and frequent showering to eliminate the possibility of any unpleasant smells. Essentially, it's a harmless, quasi-fetishistic quirk that doesn't need to concern or inconvenience anyone if your son is discreet about it.



    Quote Originally Posted by staceT View Post
    i want to know is this just a passing fad or will he spend the rest of the days in a nappy.
    It's probably not a passing fad, but he probably won't spend the rest of his days in a nappy either. The chances are he's had these interests for years and been unable to act on them. With teenage(?) hormones raging, and free nappies in his sights, he's probably overwhelmed with the first opportunity in his life to act out his fantasy, and just wants to dive in head-first and do it all the time. The novelty will probably fade after a while.

    Admittedly some people who are into this kind of thing do wear nappies 24/7, but it's not that common. For most of us the hassle and limitations of wearing 24/7 (without a medical excuse) isn't practical. Common-sense prevails and... with the freedoms of adulthood, come the responsibilities to live your life as you see fit. Everyone's different. For some, wearing nappies all the time brings some sense of security, but for most of us occasional wearing is enough, and we all live very different lives.

    Some of us have been married for years without our partners knowing; other have partners that don't want to get involved and allow their other halves a bit of discretion to indulge their interests alone; others still participate to varying degrees. Many of us are too scared to dream of telling another person in real life... and this imposes its own limitations. :-/

    If you take a step back, this may be a surprising revelation about your son, but it doesn't change who he is, and is doesn't (or shouldn't) limit him in any way.

    Sorry for rambling... dunno if this helps :-/

  7. #7

    Default

    This really is fabulous you didn't press any metal health alarm bells as happens to so many of us.

    Chances are pretty high your son has wanted nappies for a longtime before and it usually isn't something that passes as a phase though their are some people that use for a while and then abstain for a while.

    No matter how big the supply (now his supply?) it is eventually going to run out, have you thought about how he will get more?

    Lots of us start on medical incontinence nappies but really crave something different, if you were planning on buying some for him definitely make sure he knows what he is after first... all of us get picky when we have choice!

    Wipes, lotions, powders and disposal bags. Sorry but just like when he was a baby he is likely to need/want other supplies... wipes are so handy!

    Somethings to watch out for:

    A) the dreaded purge. Common for ABDLs to get their fill of nappies and then look to get rid of their stock, if this happens it is extremely doubtful he has finished with nappies so cost wise can I suggest if it happens you put them away in case he wants them back again.

    B) experiences. ABDLs come in all varieties, some just love nappies and will keep it private while some like new experiences such as wearing under their clothes out and about.

  8. #8

    Default Nappy help

    Here's some good informative reading for you:

    understanding.infantilism.org


    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  9. #9

    Default

    Hey there, staceT, welcome aboard! I'm glad you've reached out for advice on this, and there's lots of good advice above. I just wanted to take a moment to agree with this comment from tiny:



    Quote Originally Posted by tiny View Post
    It's probably not a passing fad, but he probably won't spend the rest of his days in a nappy either. The chances are he's had these interests for years and been unable to act on them. With teenage(?) hormones raging, and free nappies in his sights, he's probably overwhelmed with the first opportunity in his life to act out his fantasy, and just wants to dive in head-first and do it all the time. The novelty will probably fade after a while.
    This is probably what you're up against. When you have a sexual attraction to something outside widely-accepted norms, the feelings can accumulate for quite a while before courage and opportunity coincide. And when they do, it's like blowing up a dam. You're witnessing the ensuing flood. Things will almost certainly calm down, though. The novelty will fade, and while his interest in nappies may stick around, it will no longer be a preoccupation.

    Fingers crossed!

    (Although I really don't think any luck is required.)

  10. #10

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by Cottontail View Post
    Hey there, staceT, welcome aboard! I'm glad you've reached out for advice on this, and there's lots of good advice above. I just wanted to take a moment to agree with this comment from tiny:



    This is probably what you're up against. When you have a sexual attraction to something outside widely-accepted norms, the feelings can accumulate for quite a while before courage and opportunity coincide. And when they do, it's like blowing up a dam. You're witnessing the ensuing flood. Things will almost certainly calm down, though. The novelty will fade, and while his interest in nappies may stick around, it will no longer be a preoccupation.

    Fingers crossed!

    (Although I really don't think any luck is required.)
    This brings up a good point. For some, diapers are purely a fetish- a Sexual Diaper attraction (or SD for short). For many others, we have a kind of Diaper Love (or DL). This is the compulsion I mentioned, and like with love we often don't fully understand the attraction- only that we have it. Also like with love, it can include sexuality as well.

    It's the DLs who most likely will never be able to give up loving diapers. The SDs are the ones who believe the desire for diapers can sometimes be ignored or overcome. Still, in either case control and moderation are the best approaches.

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