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Thread: Who Knows about your Incontinence/Diapers

  1. #1

    Default Who Knows about your Incontinence/Diapers

    Wondering for the IC folks, who knows about your issues, and especially you use of diapers?

    I've been IC for a few years now, in diapers for a little over a year. My issues got worse very quickly. I progressed from wetting the bed a few times to full blown urge incontinence in a matter of maybe 6 months.

    My wife, and of course, doctors know. To the best of my knowledge my mom and brother do not. I don't live with them, but I see them often. Same with my in-laws and all my friends. If any of them know, they've never let on that they know.

    At work, I change either in the restaurant down in my building's lobby (I work in an inner city high-rise) or I'll walk up to a fast food joint and use their bathroom. Once in a while I'll do it in the work restroom but only when no one is in there. I have, on a few occasions, wasted 15+ minutes hiding in a stall waiting for everyone to be gone. I've had half of my new diaper taped on, and then had to just stand their because someone came in and I've waited for them to take a leisurely dump. I'm sick of doing that.

    I'm starting to consider just "coming out" for lack of a better term. I'm not talking about making an announcement to my coworkers, or even telling anyone. But rather, I'm considering just walking into the restroom from now on and just doing what I need to do.

    If I do this, it's only a matter of time before everyone finds out I wear diapers. Sure, not everyone is going to hear those sounds and think "diaper", but many people would probably put it together. Plus, If I'm walking into the bathroom with a back pack every time, people will start to put 2 and 2 together.

    I'm honestly just getting tired of hiding. It's not a pride thing like feeling like I shouldn't have to be ashamed so I want to "come out", but it's just so inconvenient to always have to sneak off to another location to change.

    Some of my coworkers I've known for over 10 years. I've worked with some of them here and at another firm. I'm just afraid of all of a sudden all of them knowing I wear diapers. I know none of them would be rude or say anything to my face. Some of them I consider friends so I'd imagine they'd be pretty respectful of it. But it's hard for me to make that leap.

    Anyway just wondering what some of you do, especially with work.

  2. #2


    My wife and immediate family all know. One coworker I work somewhat close with (and am on very good terms with) also knows but only because he pressed out of actual concern. I recently also told my boss I have been dealing with incontinence problems for a long time, and the surgeries/recovery time I needed was/are all due to that. I did not go into any details about needing diapers, though I believe that to be self explanatory. He has respected my privacy and has not pried any further. The rest of my coworkers *might* suspect, but do not know (which my coworker and boss have verified).

    For years, I will just take a diaper in hand, from my car to the restroom (which is near our entry way). I change as needed, though will wait in the stall while someone uses the urinal (it's a small bathroom). This is half out of respect for not making my coworkers uncomfortable, and half just trying to keep my diaper needs low key without really going out of my way to do so. Yes others have seen my diaper in hand, and have likely heard me mid-change as they walk in. Yet nobody had actually recognised or realised I am diapered. They have not needed to know either, so I choose to not burden them any further with my medical needs.

    In my case, the waiting in the stall method might only take a minute- two tops. Though we only have one stall. Waiting 15+ minutes for the second stall is definitely going out of your way though, and I believe I'd just finish changing and get out of there. I myself wouldn't bring it up, though if ever asked I would be truthful and matter of fact about it (without going into any details).

  3. #3


    My wife, son, doctor and a few VERY close friends now about my incontinence and need for protection. Co workers, ordinary friends and family does not now, and to be honest I don't feel like they should.

    Sendt fra min BTV-W09 med Tapatalk

  4. #4


    the people who need to know, know. wife close family <not all family> best friend "blood brothers" so to say. and doc

  5. #5


    My wife, my parents, and 1 or 2 close friends know. That's about how I'd like to keep it

  6. #6


    I'm much the same. My wife and my mum know, and I'm sure she's told my dad. Other than that there's a few very close friends that know. I'm obviously embarrassed to tell people but once I get over that I find it rather comforting to know, if I'm at work, that if something goes wrong there are friends I can go to for help.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7


    It used to be very few people knew, just my family and Professors due to ODA at the University, but my wife convinced me to be more open about it. Now my circle of friends is generally aware, most of them it turns out had either suspected or figured it out already. It's actually been a pretty helpful development for being able to go out and do stuff more often.

    Nonetheless, it's still on a mostly need to know basis, it's only my close friends that have been let in on it deliberately.

  8. #8


    A few people know but I'm not advertising it. Though I need to get a good cover for some shelves to hide the fact that I just had 11 bags delivered from the medical supplier providing me with my medicare diapers.

  9. #9


    I've gotten so that I don't care all that much, not that I go around saying, "Hi, I'm Kerry and I wear diapers."

    My husband and children all know. My daughter's husband knows, as does my other daughter's long-term boyfriend and her long-term best friend. (Why? I've given up trying to keep them hidden. I need them in both bathrooms, and there isn't anywhere in the one downstairs to hide them, so...they are just sitting next to the toilet. Whatever. I don't move them when someone is coming over. It is what it is.)

    My two best friends know, as does a long-term friend we all stayed with on vacation for several days.

    No one in my birth family knows; they don't need to. If they did, they would.

    As to rest rooms: yeah, I admit that I'm still conscious of the noise factor, though I couldn't tell you why. (I don't know these people; why in the world should I care if they know?) Lately I've grown a bit more complacent about it, but I'd still rather the room be empty than not. Someone in the next stall, though, won't stop me.

  10. #10


    Quote Originally Posted by kerry View Post
    As to rest rooms: yeah, I admit that I'm still conscious of the noise factor, though I couldn't tell you why. (I don't know these people; why in the world should I care if they know?) Lately I've grown a bit more complacent about it, but I'd still rather the room be empty than not. Someone in the next stall, though, won't stop me.
    I don't care at all in public restrooms where I don't know people. But at work it's tough. I did change in the restroom today though rather than going down to the restaurant in the lobby. Someone came in half way through and I forced myself to just finish taping up and go. No idea what he though of the noise. I don't know if he saw me when I walked past his stall to the sink area. Whatever.

    Not sure if I'm ready to just do this from now on or not. I might feel differently if I walk in there and 4 or 5 of the 6 stalls are occupied.

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