Embarrassing moment

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Ehorton said:
I've highly considered calling and talking to mgt but then again I don't want things to be awkward when I return, which will eventually happen. Not to mention what are they going to say? I'm sorry here is a free bag of Diapers. I doubt it.

One trick is to wait a few months before mentioning it to management, so the cashier won't be able to connect it to you as easily. Also emphasize that you aren't asking for the person to be punished, just reminded to be more vague when talking about these things in a non-private setting. You could also refuse to identify the employee and ask that they remind all employees to be discreet.

When I report something like this my goal isn't to get free stuff, it's to give feedback so that they can improve. If they give me confirmation that they've taken it into account, I'm satisfied. If they act defensive, I leave them a negative public review and try to take my business elsewhere.
 
Ehorton said:
I was working today and ran into someone who looked familiar. When I ask how do I know you? She thought for a second and then said the last thing I was expecting " I sell you your diapers". She works where I purchase all my diapers. This was said in front of multiple people. I'm just hoping nobody else heard it. I acted if it was no big deal but boy was it embarrassing.

When you say you "ran into them" does that mean they came to the place where you work?

If she was off the clock there's not much you can do because she's not accountable for her actions on her own time.

Also, you asked her how you knew her and she told you. She was answering your question and apparently it was in a public place, which would negate the reasonable expectation of privacy.

As to everyone making knee jerk reactions to this cashier, I bet every single one of you have made bigger social hiccups than this one. So put the stones away because the glass for this house is expensive.
 
NateSean said:
As to everyone making knee jerk reactions to this cashier, I bet every single one of you have made bigger social hiccups than this one. So put the stones away because the glass for this house is expensive.

When I worked at a portrait studio, we would type into the computer the names and birth months and years of the children and their relationship to the person who brought them.

I asked a woman if she was the children's grandmother. She was their mother. Maybe mortifying to her, simple mistake on my part. (Her husband said something about putting him down as one of the kids.)

I kinda think this is a similar situation.
 
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She might have thought you were trying to chat her up maybe? I'd put it down to experience, even make a joke about it when you go back, yes she was perhaps more direct than she could have been, but I don't think any harm was meant,,, maybe, just maybe she is DL herself and was trying to hint at this? or she might even been a bit embarresed herslf,,
 
NateSean said:
If she was off the clock there's not much you can do because she's not accountable for her actions on her own time.

This is not entirely accurate. People whose professions ask for discretion or confidentiality are bound by those obligations all the time. Now, this isn't as bad as, say, a nurse actually disclosing confidential patient info (they're under a legal duty to not do that), but it's still thoughtless coming from a person who is supposed to think about these things, and the business very well might care that the person is thoughtless in her free time because it affects the confidence of their customers. But you're right that it's probably just a faux pas and not done with ill-intent.
 
For sure. My wife works in medical records and she told me if she saw any of my paperwork cross her desk--and she is authorized to see my medical stuff anyways--she still couldn't talk about it to me.

And I know a lot of paperwork for that clinic--where my primary care physician is at--crosses her desk. If she sees a letter intended to be mailed out to me she cannot discuss that or even save the clinic a stamp by bringing it to me. It doesn't matter that I'd be OK with it either.

The entire medical field has a lot of serious privacy laws.
 
I'm sorry, but being in a public place and answering an asked question are not excuses for divulging private and potentially embarrassing medical information. It's quite possibly a HIPAA violation, and if it isn't it is a violation of basic human decency. She should have known what that answer would mean in such a forum. If she meant to give it sincerely, she'd have given it quietly so only he would have heard it. To give it loudly or conversationally is an intentional broadcast of personal information.

This is not at all the same as some of the situations some members are mentioning, and it is absolutely inappropriate.
 
if you buy them from a medical supply place basically she violated your privacy
 
kerry said:
I'm sorry, but being in a public place and answering an asked question are not excuses for divulging private and potentially embarrassing medical information. It's quite possibly a HIPAA violation, and if it isn't it is a violation of basic human decency. She should have known what that answer would mean in such a forum. If she meant to give it sincerely, she'd have given it quietly so only he would have heard it. To give it loudly or conversationally is an intentional broadcast of personal information.

This is not at all the same as some of the situations some members are mentioning, and it is absolutely inappropriate.

jcff126 said:
if you buy them from a medical supply place basically she violated your privacy

I'm no expert on the laws, but I'm going to stick my neck out and say if OP bought the diapers over-the-counter without a prescription, I doubt privacy laws were violated here. The diapers would be no different than a bag of cough drops or a tube of toothpaste.

Even so, I'm sure most people have been to a pharmacy and seen those consultation windows. Notice they aren't surrounded by a soundproof booth, so someone passing by could overhear a conversation about someone's health. Obviously the government isn't too concerned about that being a violation of HIPAA - so I really doubt a store clerk saying ''your diapers'' in public falls under the banhammer either.

Maybe the clerk in question simply sees diapers as an everyday item with no shame attached to them - isn't that what we all wish people would think?

Nevertheless, the deed is done, so why dwell on it? No point in taking every little slight personally - especially like this one where there's a very good chance the clerk meant no harm. Taking a major fit over it is overreacting IMO.
 
KimbaWolfNagihiko said:
I'm no expert on the laws, but I'm going to stick my neck out and say if OP bought the diapers over-the-counter without a prescription, I doubt privacy laws were violated here. The diapers would be no different than a bag of cough drops or a tube of toothpaste...

Maybe the clerk in question simply sees diapers as an everyday item with no shame attached to them - isn't that what we all wish people would think?

I do see your points, Kimba. And there may well have been no laws violated...probably weren't. But, no matter what "we all wish people would think," the reality is that most people really prefer to keep their use and need of diapers private, and any considerate person—especially one in the business of selling adult diapers—would know that. This is most likely not some clerk at a Walgreens. From the way she responds, it seems clear she works in a medical supply house of some kind, a place where one goes specifically to buy items like adult diapers. There would be no other reason for her to pinpoint a customer with such precision. (Unless, of course, as a clerk at Walgreens, she got a good laugh at his expense, but then we're back to the beginning, and she's even more guilty. And why would the same clerk always be there at Walgreens anyway?) Thus, as someone who deals with adult diapers and clients who use them for a living, she knows enough to show some discretion.

I do not think there is "a good chance the clerk meant no harm." I doubt there is much of a chance of that at all.
 
ArchieRoni said:
Before going with Kerry's advice, the next time you see her at the store, you might quietly point out that her remark when you ran into each other was rather thoughtless, since medical issues can be embarrassing for people. Tell her you're not mad at the moment, but she really ought not to do that as it can affect your trust in the store, but you're sure she just didn't realize it, which is why you're telling her.

That way you don't make things awkward, it winds up being more like a friend telling another friend they've got a bunch of spinach in their teeth, and hopefully her reaction is "oh gosh, so sorry, I'll fix that" and you walk out feeling like she's a good person while she walks out being a little smarter and more thoughtful.


Now this is level headed advice. She probably didn't even realise diapers were so embarrassing for you. They are probably just another item to be sold to her, and she probably didn't day that to be some kind of bitch on pupose. Turn this into a teaching moment for her and let her know. At least give her a chance to apologise.
 
kerry said:
I do see your points, Kimba. And there may well have been no laws violated...probably weren't. But, no matter what "we all wish people would think," the reality is that most people really prefer to keep their use and need of diapers private, and any considerate person—especially one in the business of selling adult diapers—would know that. This is most likely not some clerk at a Walgreens. From the way she responds, it seems clear she works in a medical supply house of some kind, a place where one goes specifically to buy items like adult diapers. There would be no other reason for her to pinpoint a customer with such precision. (Unless, of course, as a clerk at Walgreens, she got a good laugh at his expense, but then we're back to the beginning, and she's even more guilty. And why would the same clerk always be there at Walgreens anyway?) Thus, as someone who deals with adult diapers and clients who use them for a living, she knows enough to show some discretion.

I do not think there is "a good chance the clerk meant no harm." I doubt there is much of a chance of that at all.

Where are you getting the information that the clerk works in a medic supply store? The OP didn't give specifics on where he gets his diapers.

And what are you implying? Do you think this woman goes about her day with sinister hopes that some random person she barely knows asks her where they know her from?
 
I can take a gamble and the ones on this thread that are trashing the lady are prob in there mid 20's and younger, the others that are more calm in explaining that this isn't really that big of a deal are older folks.
 
I'm 60, FWIW, pampers4U. I have lived a long time and I know rudeness when I hear about it.

And, NateSean, I am extrapolating from the facts at hand. It is certainly possible that he buys them at a local pharmacy, manages to get the same cashier ever time, and buys nothing else so the diapers are the item she remembers as being what she sells him. Possible, but unlikely. It is even less likely if you think of her as a cashier in a big box store or supermarket. Thus I extrapolate that she works in a store that sells medical supplies, where the same person would see the customer again and again over time and he would likely purchase the same item and nothing else.

As for what I am implying? Nothing at all. Maybe she had a crappy day. Maybe she doesn't like this guy for some reason and decided to embarrass him. Maybe she forgot herself. My point, consistent from the start is that, working where she does, she should definitely have known better and been more acutely aware of the potential harm she could do with such a revelation. One does not need to have "sinister hopes" in order to be rude. One does not even have to have rude intentions. But her response was rude and it was indiscrete and it was inappropriate and it was just plain wrong.
 
I cannot thank you all enough for the support. The person does work in a medical supply/pharmacy store. I haven't seen them since. I returned today to purchase more diapers and the experience was good. Although it was a different sales rep. I don't necessarily think it was said with harm or thoughts of embarrassment. Or at least I hope not.
 
AnimeDude892 said:
She needs to be fired. She needs to mind her own god damn business.

Okay, moving on.
 
Ehorton said:
I cannot thank you all enough for the support. The person does work in a medical supply/pharmacy store. I haven't seen them since. I returned today to purchase more diapers and the experience was good. Although it was a different sales rep. I don't necessarily think it was said with harm or thoughts of embarrassment. Or at least I hope not.
Wow this turned into a witch hunt lol.

She may have just not thought about it. She may have been just as embarrassed by her actions. Who knows? She may think they are for a relative. Or for the nursing home she thinks you work for, or maybe you was your car with them. She has no idea unless you've told her.

As far as a discretionary product, anyone listening probably thought "That person has a baby and uses a service" even being an abdl I'd have thought that. Plus they are common place to her, she sells a lot of them to a lot of people, abnormal is probably normal for her.

All I can think is "hope I don't make a slip like that, one of these axe murderers might come after me!"

Lol you guys are killing me
BB

Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk
 
AnimeDude892 said:
She needs to be fired. She needs to mind her own god damn business.

I assume you didn't stop to think what exactly being fired can mean for a person.

Do you think that the woman's comment was so terrible that she deserves to lose her source of income? That she could possibly start struggling to support herself? That she could have trouble finding further employment?

Responsibility to the responsible, yes - but in this case, I do not think such a punishment fits the ''crime.''
 
pampers4U said:
I can take a gamble and the ones on this thread that are trashing the lady are prob in there mid 20's and younger, the others that are more calm in explaining that this isn't really that big of a deal are older folks.

What's the significance of this? Are you arguing that a young person's position on something is less valid than an older person's, merely because of their age?
 
Prairie said:
What's the significance of this? Are you arguing that a young person's position on something is less valid than an older person's, merely because of their age?

I think the general consensus is, although it is not always completely true, is that older people are generally more laid-back than younger people.

At the very least, I do think the older people get, the less they tend to give a shit. At a flea market recently I saw an elderly man with a white beard, Christmas suspenders, and Santa hat, then one wearing a cape and wizard's hat. I know a woman in her 60's who likes wearing crazy-colored wigs. As people age, some of them just seem to stop worrying about what other people think, which is a lesson I think is helpful for the younger generation as well.
 
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