What Should I tell my parents?

Hey everyone.
I have decided I want to try wearing diapers more often to bed as a kind of regular thing. However that means more diapers and more diapers means more parcels or more importantly bigger parcels. For example if I were to order a carton of 60 or 80 diapers I am sure they would want to know what I am buying. I buy the odd parcel now and then and tell them it's personal. They seem to accept that but this on a regular basis every 2-3 months I think is going too far for them. Not to say I would even end up wearing that much and that frequently I might get sick of it after 1 month but I want consider all options should I enjoy wearing them on such a regular basis. So I am thinking I have two options:

1. Tell them that I like wearing diapers and it's a psychological need not a physical need. They won't get worried about me but I would find this harder to say as it's really not their business. I would also feel guilt from saying this as I don't need to wear but I do and how they would see me as some freak rather than pity as with option 2. Mind you this guilt doesn't come from my self but from the people I tell. I do not feel guilty about liking to wear diapers if I am the only one that knows. This is also harder to explain to cousins houses I may stay at or friends etc.

Or 2. Tell them I wet the bed. This would also be helpful should I stay at a friend's houses or families houses as it's simply saying I wet the bed and have to wear diapers. It would be much more understandable to them and others than saying I wear them because I like them. I just want to point out I have no intention of becoming a bed wetter this is purely for the benefit of needing some sort of explanation. I plan on controlling myself and not actually bed wetting. However the downside to this is that I need some sort of explanation I have already thought of several questions they are likely to ask and feels like a tangled web of lies to concoct:

1. How long has it been happening?
2. Is it permanent?
3. Did you see a doctor?
4. How did it happen? What causes it?

So overall I feel both have good and bad about them and not sure which one to do. I keep thinking the second one because it's easier to explain to people. But I like the first one because it means I am honest and my parents nor anyone else will worry about me thinking I have some sort of medical issue that can be associated with bed wetting like diabetes. But it's still not their business and I'd rather them not know at all.

I just want to point out that I will be paying out of my own money for all expenses I won't allow nor do I want my parents to pay anything anyway.
Thoughts?

Edit: Forgot to mention I am attempting to wear most nights is what I mean by "more often". So a diaper a night.

Don't go option 2. You already pointed out it's ''like a tangled web of lies to concoct'' so you probably already know it's a bad idea. Not only would you be involving your parents in the deceit, you mention friends and family - and they pretty much have even less of a need to know your business. If you have an overnight stay you can go about wearing diapers discreetly without other people having to know.

You pretty much have to lay all your cards on the table and weigh your different options. Can you have them shipped to a UPS store/Amazon locker etc. and bring them home when your parents aren't around? Or do you not have transportation? Is there something else you can say the shipments contain? Is cloth something you'd be willing to try, or can you not wash them discreetly?

Everybody's situation is different and that needs to be taken account of when the idea of telling parents comes up. For me, telling my mother was the right choice, but for my own reasons. You have to decide if there is really no other good option for getting what you need. Also think about how open-minded you believe your parents are. Obviously if they're going to be the ''off to therapy'' type - or even worse - disclosure is mostly likely a bad idea.

When I tried option 2 with my parent's before they knew (and yes I actually did have stress related nighttime wetting accidents starting at a certain period in high school thru the present), they checked me over with a urologist... They did notice a slightly over-inflated bladder, but nothing that would constitute the bedwetting... So my parents told me to wash my sheets instead of getting me protection... Kind of blunt to say the least, but there you go.

Option 1 on the other hand is an unavoidable fact. Once I got in trouble for it, I was forced to tell my parents about it... After drawing their own conclusions they thought it was a kinky fetish, which was not my way of looking at it or even practicing it.. Your interpretation and/or practice of that side of you may be different based on the fact that you are a DL and a Sissy/Little Girl, but right now that is beside the point. The point is to not wait until you get caught and have to explain it, you should tell them, even if it is a little awkward to do so. If you aren't comfortable to tell them right away, give them signs of your interest at first (discussing about your childhood, discussing about other things that are related to your specific DL/Sissy side, without actually telling them straight) or tell them that you are expecting a package that contains stuff that you wish to keep private at the very least...

Either way, just make sure that if you tell a lie to protect your secret, make sure to stretch the truth enough to make it believable. Do the self-test before your do so. If you cannot be fooled by the statements, neither can your parents. Also make sure that the carrier of the diapers ships discreetly and charges discreetly and if anyone asks about the activity on your account, tell them it is related to the package that has private stuff...

I almost never advocate telling parents about this. It's generally not a good idea. However, if you're either going to tell your parents or lie about bedwetting, telling is without a doubt, the better option. It is NEVER a good idea to lie about medical conditions or faking them. It's gonna cause them unnecessary worrying, unnecessary doctor visits, and if they find out you lied about it all, it won't be pretty. Option 2 is a terrible idea. Personally, I feel like it's best to find some way to not have them know, but just don't do Option 2.

Well, most wouldn't tell their parents such about this stuff (especially if it's a kink or fetish to you) but you can if you want to. Just be VERY careful, please! For the diapers you buy you can tell them you have a package or two coming and want it to stay private. However, I wouldn't fake a medical condition. Reason why is because they may want to take you to the doctor to get checked out or something else that costs money. And you really don't want that to happen, cause then they'll find out you really aren't a bed wetter and that could rise suspicions about your diapers. You could give hints here and there about anything linked to your diaper wearing but other then that I can't say the safest route to take on this.

KimbaWolfNagihiko said:

You pretty much have to lay all your cards on the table and weigh your different options. Can you have them shipped to a UPS store/Amazon locker etc. and bring them home when your parents aren't around? Or do you not have transportation?E.

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The reason I wanted to say bed wetting is not just provide an explanation but also so I didn't have to do exactly what you just said. I used to do that all the time and quite frankly I am sick of it. It isn't illegal drugs I am transporting around! it's diapers! I get so frustrated by this because my logical mind doesn't understand why I need to hide it and I feel scared wearing around the house just waiting for the time they notice and it's all revealed instantaneously not to mention being ill prepared to deal with the sudden knowledge they would then have. It's not like it's drugs I am hiding or anything else illegal. I would much prefer them to know and anyone else that needs to know (for example a friend whom I am staying at their house with) that I wear diapers to bed and can relax without a fear that feels like I am perpetually holding a ticking time bomb over an issue that doesn't deserve that type of anxiety.

My parents seem rather open minded. I have a Disney princess bed and they got me new pink sheets for my birthday. However I know they oppose homosexuality which isn't exactly open minded so I am uncertain. I would say I am 80-90 percent sure they would just accept it. I know they love me but I still have an uncertainty of how they would react. I would prefer them not to know it's just what I like and would rather them think it's something I need. However from what you all of said I am starting to see why this would be a bad idea.

And here’s the thing though it’s not just about it being a “kink” for me. It has two sides, a sexual side but also a comfort side that even when I am not interested in it sexually I will still wear because they are comfortable and provide a sense of protection. I suppose if I did tell them I would only talk about the latter. They most certainly don't need to know about my kinks...no way.

It still keeps coming back to it's just easier to tell people I bed wet they'll understand that I say. My friends already know I like feminine things (Disney princess, My little pony etc) and I would rather not tell them that I like to wear diapers too should I ever be in a situation where they'd need to know. I'm just rambling now. I don't think I will lie and I do see your points anyway I just need more time to think this all over....

Whenever I see a thread like this, I wonder if it's as much a part of the need to wear diapers as it is to be cared for.

When I started out in my early diaper phase, I wondered how the conversation would go with my mother. It never happened and likely never will.

I came out to her recently and when was okay with it. But as far as anything below my waist goes, it's best to leave her in the dark.

According to your profile your 20 years old - your an adult. Why are you telling your parents? But If you feel you must tell them have enough respect for them and be straight forward. Do not fabricate stories (especially anything medically related) to justify your actions/decisions.

chuckiebdl said:

According to your profile your 20 years old - your an adult. Why are you telling your parents? But If you feel you must tell them have enough respect for them and be straight forward. Do not fabricate stories (especially anything medically related) to justify your actions/decisions.

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I don't think you read the entire thread otherwise you would of read this that would of answered your question perfectly. "I used to do that all the time and quite frankly I am sick of it. It isn't illegal drugs I am transporting around! it's diapers! I get so frustrated by this because my logical mind doesn't understand why I need to hide it and I feel scared wearing around the house just waiting for the time they notice and it's all revealed instantaneously not to mention being ill prepared to deal with the sudden knowledge they would then have. It's not like it's drugs I am hiding or anything else illegal. I would much prefer them to know and anyone else that needs to know (for example a friend whom I am staying at their house with) that I wear diapers to bed and can relax without a fear that feels like I am perpetually holding a ticking time bomb over an issue that doesn't deserve that type of anxiety. "

Just because I am an adult doesn't mean that I shouldn't tell people. At this point though I don't know what to do. I feel quite distraught over this all and still don't know what to do maybe nothing I feel kind of back at square one.

SweetPrincess said:

The reason I wanted to say bed wetting is not just provide an explanation but also so I didn't have to do exactly what you just said. I used to do that all the time and quite frankly I am sick of it. It isn't illegal drugs I am transporting around! it's diapers! I get so frustrated by this because my logical mind doesn't understand why I need to hide it and I feel scared wearing around the house just waiting for the time they notice and it's all revealed instantaneously not to mention being ill prepared to deal with the sudden knowledge they would then have. It's not like it's drugs I am hiding or anything else illegal. I would much prefer them to know and anyone else that needs to know (for example a friend whom I am staying at their house with) that I wear diapers to bed and can relax without a fear that feels like I am perpetually holding a ticking time bomb over an issue that doesn't deserve that type of anxiety.

My parents seem rather open minded. I have a Disney princess bed and they got me new pink sheets for my birthday. However I know they oppose homosexuality which isn't exactly open minded so I am uncertain. I would say I am 80-90 percent sure they would just accept it. I know they love me but I still have an uncertainty of how they would react. I would prefer them not to know it's just what I like and would rather them think it's something I need. However from what you all of said I am starting to see why this would be a bad idea.

And here’s the thing though it’s not just about it being a “kink” for me. It has two sides, a sexual side but also a comfort side that even when I am not interested in it sexually I will still wear because they are comfortable and provide a sense of protection. I suppose if I did tell them I would only talk about the latter. They most certainly don't need to know about my kinks...no way.

It still keeps coming back to it's just easier to tell people I bed wet they'll understand that I say. My friends already know I like feminine things (Disney princess, My little pony etc) and I would rather not tell them that I like to wear diapers too should I ever be in a situation where they'd need to know. I'm just rambling now. I don't think I will lie and I do see your points anyway I just need more time to think this all over....

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Personally then... I would just carry on with how you have been doing it. You have a way to get what you need. I barely did.

Also... why would a person whom you are staying overnight with need to know you wear diapers? I'm going to assume they don't have some kind of kinky ''no pants'' rule where'd you be instantly exposed, so... You can't just pack one with your things, change in the bathroom, go to sleep, and package the diaper up in the morning to take home with you to dispose?

For me diapers also have the two sides, kink and comfort, and when I explained it to my mother I gave the comfort reason only - a bit less awkward to explain. And like you said, she really doesn't need to know about my sex life.

In the end, it's your decision to make, but one you need to carefully consider and be ready to face the consequences. As I stated before, for you I would err on the side of ''don't tell'' as you already have a workable system in place. With caution and care, one can manage to hide this - I did it for over three years. I finally spilled the beans because I thought I was facing a serious health condition and was really going to need the things that comfort me the most, and hiding and sneaking was going to make that too hard.

I have to agree with Chuckie above, to the point you are an adult now! Choosing to wear diapers should now be considered an "adult decision". Frankly, as long as you are not engaging in illegal, harmful to yourself or others, behavior, older parents really do not want to hear about it! It just causes stress and worry we do not need as we have our own "health", and social issues to resolve.

I think it would be more a more mature solution to remain discreet, maybe buy your diapers from a big-box store, or better, think about getting your own place and start to live independently, where you can more easily make and engage in such personal adult behavior.

I did not put myself in diapers until I was in my forties, divorced and living alone, so did not need to worry about all the emotional conflicts that being in diapers carries for a younger adult. But I understand what you are going through and pray you find a proper resolution to this conflict. God bless, Kelly.

SweetPrincess said:

I don't think you read the entire thread otherwise you would of read this that would of answered your question perfectly. "I used to do that all the time and quite frankly I am sick of it. It isn't illegal drugs I am transporting around! it's diapers! I get so frustrated by this because my logical mind doesn't understand why I need to hide it and I feel scared wearing around the house just waiting for the time they notice and it's all revealed instantaneously not to mention being ill prepared to deal with the sudden knowledge they would then have. It's not like it's drugs I am hiding or anything else illegal. I would much prefer them to know and anyone else that needs to know (for example a friend whom I am staying at their house with) that I wear diapers to bed and can relax without a fear that feels like I am perpetually holding a ticking time bomb over an issue that doesn't deserve that type of anxiety. "

Just because I am an adult doesn't mean that I shouldn't tell people. At this point though I don't know what to do. I feel quite distraught over this all and still don't know what to do maybe nothing I feel kind of back at square one.

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I told my parents as an adult, so I do get where you're coming from. I wasn't even living at home, but I had a lot of pressure from my mom about dating and kids and all that, and it felt so frustrating that I told her and my dad so they would understand my difficulties better and not push so much (which, eh, kinda worked). Their initial reaction was a lot of worry, and I had to spend a good amount of time reassuring them, but once they were sure that I was okay, they accepted it but didn't want it to be something visible around them. I'll sometimes wear diapers when I'm visiting them, but I don't make any mention of it and as far as I'm aware, they can't actually tell what underwear I'm wearing.

The thing is, you're the person who knows your own parents better than any of us. What we can do is give you some models for thinking about your situation and helping you weigh the risks and potential rewards. Having to sneak around or lie can suck a lot. Even when you're logically aware that your situation is pretty good, the feeling of having to hide things can wear on a person. On the other hand, we do hide for a reason, and there are risks to revealing yourself, including in the worst case, your parents determining that this is the kind of problem where your own judgment about yourself can't be trusted and therefore they have to force change on you. If you do tell them, I think the important thing is to be calm, clear, and prepared for the conversation. Demonstrate to them that you've thought about the conversation and have the reasons you're talking to them ready in your mind (like, you want to explain that you're talking to them because you want to get mail deliveries without them bugging you, not that suddenly you're going to be wandering around the house in a soaked diaper or asking them to treat you like a baby).

You should also think really carefully about the risks here. What if they do get upset? Would you be willing to try and sneak behind their backs once they know if they banned diapers in the home? Would you need to try and move out? How likely are those bad outcomes based on your read of them as people? What does a good outcome look like for you? Are you looking for your parents to say "oh, honey, it's okay, you can be yourself, we'll always love you" or something like that? Or would you be okay with it if they accepted you were doing something on your own time and didn't have to sneak around so much anymore, but they disapproved of it and wished you would stop?

At the end of the day, there isn't a right or wrong choice here. There's only your choice, your guess about the risks and rewards you can get from here, your understanding of your parents and your own emotions. If this is a thing that's eating you up inside, making you feel frustrated, disgusted, or depressed, then it might very well be worth telling and working out the consequences. There's a catharsis in doing that, even if the response isn't what you want. Just be sure that you're ready for any of the responses you might get.

ArchieRoni said:

Having to sneak around or lie can suck a lot. Even when you're logically aware that your situation is pretty good, the feeling of having to hide things can wear on a person. On the other hand, we do hide for a reason, and there are risks to revealing yourself, including in the worst case, your parents determining that this is the kind of problem where your own judgment about yourself can't be trusted and therefore they have to force change on you.

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First, thank you. I'm glad to see someone understands the need to tell someone and doesn't just say you're an adult you don't need to tell anyone. People that say I don't need to tell anyone is like saying I should shove it in a closet and lock it up as if it's something horrendous I should be ashamed of. We all need acceptance and I know I am an adult I don't need other people to tell me that. But when you're the only real life person in your life that knows it becomes lonely and as much as ADISC has helped me it's not the same as talking to someone in real life and the only real life person I have told was another DL who just ended up ditching me. So when you're alone for so long (in my case for over 3 years I have been hiding diapers and sneaking around) and the only person who did know left you it takes a toll on you. You start to crave some kind of acceptance, any kind, even if it means lying and saying you wet the bed.

My mind is very logical and when it knows what I am doing is perfectly fine, legal and acceptable but treats it like it's something illegal, shameful and perverted it starts to drive me insane. For example you state the "risks" to revealing yourself and my logical mind just scoffs and goes why should there even be "risks"! It's not illegal why should we be afraid or worried or concerned. What is so bad about liking diapers?! Society is just stupid. But I do understand what you're saying my mind just can't help but get angry over such a thing which shouldn't be an issue in the first place.

You offer some extremely good points to consider and as much as I would love them to say "oh, honey, it's okay, you can be yourself, we'll always love you" I don't think it would be as simple as that and I am not that naive to believe that would be how it turns out. Probably more along the lines of confusion and concern is probably how they would react.

So my plan so far is along the lines of order the diapers that I want and stick to the usual "it's personal excuse" however if they keep bugging me I will probably tell them. And should they question it and try to say it's bad and I need to go to a psychologist (worst case) I'll just kindly let them know that I have been wearing for the past 3 and a half years without them knowing and I am just fine the only problem I have had in all that time is telling them and whether or not they'd be supportive or at least tolerant to allow me to do what I want. I still wish I could tell someone though as that kind of acceptance in real life helps so much...

SweetPrincess said:

The reason I wanted to say bed wetting is not just provide an explanation but also so I didn't have to do exactly what you just said. I used to do that all the time and quite frankly I am sick of it. It isn't illegal drugs I am transporting around! it's diapers!

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My brain has made this argument, too! They're harmless! But, there is a huge stigma around them. When I told my mom, her biggest concern was other people finding out.... because, unfortunately, this world has people in it that would take this information about you and try to use it against you.


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I think this has been well covered by the above, especially ArchieRoni. I too was thinking, if they don't accept it, then you're really stuck because it will be near impossible to wear. Since you are 20, I wondered, what are your future plans for obtaining independence? Moving out of my parents house was my solution, because they did catch me and did not approve. Once I finished college I got a job and moved out. Then it was all the diapers I wanted and it was such sweet release.

Well, just yesterday I told my parents and the dad that is IT that I'm wearing diapers because I like it. He didn't seem to be excessively happy, but he wasn't mad anyway as well. What's the big deal really? He is incontinent so he doesn't have a choice but as he told me he started to enjoy wearing diapers and wetting himself as well, maybe it's because he didn't have any other choice but to like it - I had and I chose to do it. I starting my diapers adventures not that long ago, but since I knew I finally gotta say somebody or otherwise it will destroy me from the inside - all this hiding and stuff. I feel much better after telling the truth to the closest people I have.

SweetPrincess said:

Hey everyone.
I have decided I want to try wearing diapers more often to bed as a kind of regular thing. However that means more diapers and more diapers means more parcels or more importantly bigger parcels. For example if I were to order a carton of 60 or 80 diapers I am sure they would want to know what I am buying. I buy the odd parcel now and then and tell them it's personal. They seem to accept that but this on a regular basis every 2-3 months I think is going too far for them. Not to say I would even end up wearing that much and that frequently I might get sick of it after 1 month but I want consider all options should I enjoy wearing them on such a regular basis. So I am thinking I have two options:

1. Tell them that I like wearing diapers and it's a psychological need not a physical need. They won't get worried about me but I would find this harder to say as it's really not their business. I would also feel guilt from saying this as I don't need to wear but I do and how they would see me as some freak rather than pity as with option 2. Mind you this guilt doesn't come from my self but from the people I tell. I do not feel guilty about liking to wear diapers if I am the only one that knows. This is also harder to explain to cousins houses I may stay at or friends etc.

Or 2. Tell them I wet the bed. This would also be helpful should I stay at a friend's houses or families houses as it's simply saying I wet the bed and have to wear diapers. It would be much more understandable to them and others than saying I wear them because I like them. I just want to point out I have no intention of becoming a bed wetter this is purely for the benefit of needing some sort of explanation. I plan on controlling myself and not actually bed wetting. However the downside to this is that I need some sort of explanation I have already thought of several questions they are likely to ask and feels like a tangled web of lies to concoct:

1. How long has it been happening?
2. Is it permanent?
3. Did you see a doctor?
4. How did it happen? What causes it?

So overall I feel both have good and bad about them and not sure which one to do. I keep thinking the second one because it's easier to explain to people. But I like the first one because it means I am honest and my parents nor anyone else will worry about me thinking I have some sort of medical issue that can be associated with bed wetting like diabetes. But it's still not their business and I'd rather them not know at all.

I just want to point out that I will be paying out of my own money for all expenses I won't allow nor do I want my parents to pay anything anyway.
Thoughts?

Edit: Forgot to mention I am attempting to wear most nights is what I mean by "more often". So a diaper a night.

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I order cases from Bambino and get them shipped to nearby FedEx shops to tackle the parcel problem.

As far as family finding out, I feel like the best way to go about it is to hide in plain sight. But don't be sloppy. I wear often. Almost 24/7, in fact. If my family knows, they haven't brought it up. And I've probably been 24/7 for at least half my life from 12 to now (22 about to be 23) on and off. I've certainly had some close calls, but after 18 I had the mentality that, well... if I get caught, it is what it is. That's the hard truth you have to face when making the decision to make ABDL a big part of your life physically. If you want the diapers to have a significant presence, it's a given that *someone* will find out *eventually*.

I've had to have the hard conversations. I've had the overwhelmingly positive reactions. I've had the awkward, negative reactions. My dad found out when I was 13, then never brought it up again. My mom and brother act clueless but I'm sure they know. My girlfriend didn't know if she could stay with me when I first told her about 3 months into our relationship. Now we're a year and change deep and she bought me a collar and diapers for our anniversary.

It's just a hard truth that....if you're going to wear diapers, people are gonna find out. You don't want them to find out? Don't wear diapers. No harshness intended. People may have terrible reactions. But if they love you, they'll either brush it under the rug or get with the program. But they *will* find out.

I see nothing wrong with saying it is for bedwetting. It is a harmless white lie that enables your wearing of diapers, and minimizes it for your parents. Long ago before I became IC, I told my mother I liked diapers (collage age). It didn't go well, she basically told relatives, and my family made jokes about it "well at least you have something in common with grandma!" I don't really talk to my family anymore. I wish I could go back in time and lie, saying it was for IC or bedwetting.

If you go this route, don't make a big deal about it. The only downside is your family might worry about you and not understand why you aren't trying to fix it. You might have to go through some motions to try and fix it, then say I tried everything, but just have to accept it.

UPS hold for pickup and go pick up the package yourself.

Just be honest, your family will love you no matter what, as far as friends go you can either not put a diaper on that night or just open up to them too, that would definitely tell you if they really are your friends though that's for sure. My true friends accepted me even before I had to wear from accident. Honesty is going to be your best bet here.