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Thread: Upcoming Surgery, I lied...

  1. #1

    Default Upcoming Surgery, I lied...

    They say confession is good for the soul, here's mine. Maybe I should feel more guilty than I do, doubt it, but maybe I should feel less.

    I have a minor outpatient surgery on my nose coming up that is wholly unrelated to anything in the diaper world. In the US, before every surgery I've ever had, a nurse calls to do a patient history, talk medications, preparation and what to expect afterwards. I had a call this week and we went through my history line by line. As some of you might remember, I had a few year bout with bed wetting that apparently was sleep-apnea / weight related. Once I dropped 80lbs, it essentially vanished. Here and there, if I'm drugged up or sick, I find that I end up wetting in sleep but even then, I'm usually at least partially delirious - it's not full blown enuresis like I had developed before.

    Anyways, the nurse was going over my medical history with me and it came to the question of bladder/incontinence. I said that, "I have had issues with night time incontinence that I managed with disposable briefs..." true enough, although not precisely clear that it's a past issue for all intents and purposes.
    She replied, "so it's a night time thing, only when you're sleeping or drowsy?"
    "Yeah, pretty much," I said.
    "So when you come to surgery, I'd just wear what you normally wear to sleep in."
    "Ok," I said.

    I've had a similar conversation in the past with a pre op nurse, just when the issue was actually current, and she had said more or less the exact same thing. I know that nocturnal enuresis is still listed on some of my charts (in the US, each hospital chain/company has their own record of you; and they don't necessarily share information; so in one, I know it's listed as resolved but in at least one other, it's still listed as an active problem - that was penciled in by a sleep doctor I saw for a second opinion for this issue way back when it started) - but I'm fairly that it wasn't listed in my problems for this particular surgery clinic. Little fib, at least I felt like it was.

    Later in the conversation, she started going over what to do when I come. "When you show up on the day of surgery, you'll want to wear comfortable loose fitting clothes. You can wear your incontinence brief under some shorts. You'll change into a gown but it's ok to wear that underneath..." she went on to other details without comment, "bring someone to drive me, prescriptions, etc."

    I didn't stop her to correct it.

    So here's the thing. I feel guilty lol. I don't think I really have enough of an issue to justify wearing a diaper to this. And I kind of misled her to think that it's a current instead of past problem. I feel like I lied. I mean, i don't wear diapers to bed every night; usually every other and just for fun. But I do very intentionally still put them on when I take sleeping medication or narcotic pain meds and the like. That's on occasion though and I'm not sure like I said, how much I wet in sleep or delirium. In any case, it's not proper enuresis anymore.

    And yet, as has been discussed on a related thread, diapers for me are a very real psychological self soothing tool. I cope with stress by wearing them and it's very helpful. I'll be super super stressed and scared on that day - and no doubt drugged up (the surgery I'm having is notoriously painful). So I feel like I do actually NEED my diaper but maybe for slightly different reasons than I led the nurse to chart on me for? Unsure of what to do now.

    My wife will tell me to forget it, and leave the diapers at home because she's embarrassed of them and says the hospital staff will joke about me behind my back, which is probably true. Yet I'm still conflicted...And now I feel guilty and stressed about ALL of it lol.

    There's my confession. Now how about some support?



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  2. #2

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    Just do what you want to. They probably aren't going to mock you.

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  3. #3

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    I would have done the ecact same thing in your shoes. I had an issue with wetting in the last 24 hours. The exact nature of it isn't anyone's business. I support you 100% in whatever you choose to do. However, I think the main issue has nothing to do with the lie or the nurse. What is most important is the relationship with your wife. Only you know her well enough to know how to get through this in a way that strengthens that relationship. Prayers that you reach a solution that works for you both.

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  4. #4

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    i have spent a bit of time in hospitals (heart issues/appendix/thyroid).. the last few times i have requested 'incontinence briefs' .. and if i had admitted myself rather than come in through the ER i would have brought my own. If it makes you more comfortable it is completely acceptable in my book. The nursing staff are CERTAINLY not going to object as it makes their job easier especially if you are not ambulatory for an amount of time.

  5. #5

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    The last time I went under anesthesia I ended up wetting myself in the chair (wisdom teeth extraction) So realistically If I know I'm going under anesthesia I tend to bring a diaper regardless.

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  6. #6

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    I'd just wear the diaper. You're going to be stressed, and you said the diaper helps you with that; you are also going to be drugged, so it's not completely out of the question that an accident could happen for real.

  7. #7

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    Since you told them you need one, the hospital will be looking for you to have one. If you don't they will provide and maybe even insist you wear one. Personally, I see no reason to worry about it. If your wife says something, since she knows anyway, just tell her you're worried about an accident or that it makes you feel calm.

  8. #8

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    When I was doing the intake for the shelter I'm currently staying at, I told the caseworker that I have some bladder leakage.

    It wasn't entirely true either. Later when they were moving a couple of women into my room and I had to take a top bunk, I lied again and they gave me Depends.

    Strangely, I'm not losing sleep over it.

  9. #9

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    I think that going under surgery for any reason can be stressful, so regardless of what you told her, I think the diaper may help you cope with the stress. I think it's fair to say that a diaper requirement is something that will help you get through it better, and therefore it is up to you about what you choose or need to wear. Just do it. The medical staff will be focussed on doing the required surgery and they won't notice or care about what you're wearing underneath your gown.

    You can be assured the doctors have seen a lot of unusual things and I don't think an 'incontinence brief' is going to even moderately catch their attention, and certainly they may very well think its for medical reasons. If anything, I think they would just think 'Sorry, that's not my table," and do the surgery they are there to be doing.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by cm90210 View Post
    -Snip-
    I had a septoplasty done back in April of 2016 so it was a similar thing; in and out sort of deal. Similar questions were asked and while I myself didn't take the opportunity to wear (Parents were my designated chaperones for the following 24 hours) I am positive that more people then you think actually use some sort of protection or at least wish they had. Those meds can make you pretty loopy. If it makes you feel comfortable as it can be a nerve racking situation and it is technically in your medical history; then really you bent the truth. You arent hurting anyone and now that you admitted it they will be expecting you to show up in said protection.

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