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Thread: Hi

  1. #1

    Default Hi

    Hi, I'm Mikey (and yes I do like Life cereal, my favorite was the Honey Graham Life, but they discontinued it), I HATE WRITING, I live in the North West U.S.A., I'm disabled and homeless and trying to save up for a place to live (though with so little SUBsistence income and such high out of pocket medical supply costs, it's pretty much pointless).

    I'm incontinent, though not completely, but enough that I must be in diapers at all times (except of course for bathing and occasional potty use). My urinary incontinence ranges everywhere from full incontinence (i.e. finding I'm wet and not knowing when it happened) to really bad retention problems (i.e. feeling the need to go and not being able to for quite a while, with lots of pain). My fecal incontinence is pretty much always; it starts uncontrollably and then I have to spend hours struggling to get the rest out (so, very little control either way). I either start pooping while I'm asleep and it wakes me up (before I've had anywhere near enough sleep), or I start pooping just after I wake up, or sometimes other times of the day.

    Although for most of my life I had bowel accidents about once a week, then the last unhealthy apartment (of course all communist housing is unhealthy) I was in (almost 2 years ago) was full of smoke and perfume and I rapidly deteriorated to the point where there was a whole month I didn't use the potty even once. Then when I got out of there I fairly quickly got better but not completely, I was then at about a 25% accident rate. Then about 4 or 5 months ago I had a drastic increase to about a 75% accident rate. Then about a month after that it got even worse to where in the last few months I've gone poopy in the potty 8 times, but there hasn't been a day I haven't gone poopy in my diapy. Most of those 8 times were when I had to poop again before bed, but at least 2 of those times I had made it to the potty in the morning but then I went poopy in my diapy before bed. One nice thing about this is that I used to almost always have to poop twice per day but since I've been going poopy in my diapy everyday I've had very few times when I've had to go twice.

    I would rather be completely incontinent than to have to deal with the retention problems and the pain associated with it and I don't really like the feeling of peeing or pooping in my diapy, I'd rather not know about it until I need to change. And I wish, instead of starting to go poopy in my diapy while I'm asleep and have it jar me awake to a lengthy struggle, that I would just completely empty my intestines into my diapy while I'm asleep and not know anything about it until I wake up after getting plenty of sleep and be ready for a change (which is also a huge struggle for me, I'm barely able to do it at all, and it's such a mess, I wish I had a nurse).

    It used to be when I would have a bowel accident that I'd just wait until I was done enough that I was fairly confident that I could hold the rest long enough to get cleaned up and finish in the potty, but then I realized that was stupid because by that time, I was nearly done, I had already spent hours going poopy in my diapy, it meant even more time pooping over all, sitting on the potty always causes me a lot more pain (i.e. back, hip, leg, knee, neck, butt and hemorrhoid pain), I already had the big mess to cleanup and then I had another mess to clean up, and sometimes I wasn't able to hold the rest long enough and I'd have even more mess to cleanup. So now if I go poopy in my diapy I try to make sure I'm completely done before I deal with the extreme hardship of changing my own poopy diapy. But sometimes I think I'm done and it turns out I'm not and then I have to run to the potty in the middle of cleaning up or sometimes it just comes out on the floor, but thankfully that isn't very often.

    Diapers don't rule my life they help it a little. My bodily waste is what rules my life existence. I wish I didn't produce any waste, then I might have a slight chance at a life. But since I do produce waste I wish I had a sci-fi diaper, something with some sort of nano-technology which would convert all of the waste into usable substances which would be stored in small containers for emptying, i.e. take all of the water out and purify it for re-use, convert part of the waste to fuel to power a jet pack (or whatever) and convert the rest to other (fully sterile) components such as all of the various minerals (including the precious metals found in our waste such as gold), and which would last the rest of my existence without needing to be changed and without being wet or messy (at least not for very long). Though I do prefer thick diapers so I would still want it to be nice and thick. Of course my preference for thicker diapers may be partially psychological since I know the thicker a diaper is the less chance there is of it leaking and I hate leaks. After all I wear diapers to contain leaks not to have them leak.

    I've been incontinent all my life (along with many other physical problems), though the older I've gotten the worse it's gotten, but when I was a kid I was potty trained (though I think quite late due to my problems) and I pretended to be continent for most of my childhood, which meant running to the potty every five minutes and secretly wearing some sort of make shift protection for as long as I can remember. There were several times that I can remember it being suggested that I be put back in diapers but I vehemently refused because the potty training brain washing was too strong, suggesting that diapers were only for babies and being a baby was bad. Though I do remember wanting (in the back of my mind) to be put back in them anyway, against my verbal refusal, but it didn't happen. I really think I'd be better off if it did.

    I'd say I'm slightly an AB or little or whatever but not to the extent I've seen online. I do use a pacifier (which I can't sleep well without especially thanks to my severe case of dental fluorosis, which is what really got me using a pacifier again), and occasionally a bottle and sippy cup. And I sleep with a teddy bear (though I need a new one as mine is getting very worn out). And I would like to try certain baby type clothes such as onesies and sleepers and pants and overalls with easy diaper access. But mostly for the same reasons those kind of clothes are used for babies, easier diaper access and support. But I can't afford any of that, having to spend half of my SUBsistence on better diapers, I can barely afford regular clothes (actually sometimes I can't), but the only way I can get by with the socialist diapers is by being very dehydrated which makes all of my physical problems worse, especially my joint and back problems.

    Otherwise, I'm a scientist and repairman. When I can, I work on electronics and electrical and mechanical, basically anything I can get the parts and tools for and have the physical ability to do, which is getting to be less and less as I get older and more decrepit. I would like to find someone to marry but I can barely take care of myself let alone a family. So it's really quite selfish of me to want that, especially since I would want my wife to be my nurse or even wet nurse (I've heard of so many benefits of drinking the milk that God designed for human consumption, I think it would probably benefit me too).

    "What are you looking for out of this site? What would you love to do here?"
    Well I don't want to do much more writing (though occasionally I come across something I want to reply to but I think so far everything I might have wanted to has been closed), I hope there isn't any requirement to post a certain amount. I mostly just want support and escape. Otherwise I'm more of a lurker, the preceding aside, I'm really not much of a talker. Plus I have very poor vision and I'm dyslexic, so too much reading and writing is painful for me. Oh speaking of pain, there's also the arthritis and other joint problems.

    Is that sufficient?

    Sincerely:
    Mikey

  2. #2

    Default

    Welcome PaddedMikey! That was quite an introduction! I'm sorry you're having so many problems. I can't relate to most of your intro except the last. No you don't have to write anything here but please comment on anything that does interest you and isn't closed. Also, if you're interested in a subject, even if it is closed, feel free to start a new thread! Enjoy your time here and we do hope to hear from you.

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