AnalogRTO
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 643
- Role
- Diaper Lover
- Incontinent
Get in the car for the morning commute. Five minutes in, the hands-free rings and it's a robocall from the IRS saying they are filing a lawsuit and I could be arrested. Yeah, I've heard this scam before, you want me to call right away before you send out a warrant for my arrest...
I've got a 45 minute commute ahead of me, hands-free phone, free long distance, and I'm bored. Let's play!!!
First time I get through I try playing along with their script. You want my name and address? Sure, here's a fake name and address. Oh, you found my case with that, perfect! Sure, you audited my taxes from 2010 to 2015 confidentially and found I owe you more...damn. The call came from central California which was obviously going to a call center in India (seriously, with that thick of an Indian accent you expect me to believe your name is Shaun Harris?) and the VOIP cut out. Damn. Let's try again...
Now who am I talking to? Victor Morris (again with the thick Indian accent). Great, Victor, I'm glad I got you! This is Chad with Bank of America calling about questionable charges on your Visa card. Did you place an order on a Danish website for several thousand dollars of liquor? No? So it's a fraudulent charge? No? Is it valid then, Victor? We here at B of A are trying to protect your credit...
Again, they finally hang up. Next! "Hello, this is the IRS." Congratulations, you've won a free Caribbean cruise from Carnival Cruise lines! Click.
They start figuring out my number and hanging up right as I call in. Last one before work, I get through and ask, "Am I annoying you? Or are we having fun yet? Please say we're having fun..." Click.
Lunchtime, have they forgotten about me? Call in..."Hello, this is the IRS."
Dude, man. Where's Dave? He gave me this number, said you'd answer with the IRS code phrase. The hookers OD'ed at the party two days ago, we need to get rid of the bodies! I got 47 keys of coke sitting here I gotta move, if the cops find it because the bodies stink the place up we're dead meat, man. Where's Dave, man? We gotta dump the bodies and move this coke!
"What are you saying?"
The hookers, man, they're dead! You need to help me get rid of the bodies!
"What are hookers?"
You know, man, the prostitutes, the gals you pay money to screw you.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
Yeah, man, I got a girl, these were for the guys at the party. But we gotta move the cocaine, too, dude. You know how much time we're looking at if the cops find us? I can't go back to the joint, man.
"Oh, don't do cocaine, it is bad for you."
I ain't doing it man, I'm just moving the shit! You gotta help me, we gotta get rid of the dead hookers! They're dead, man!!
That one I kept on the phone for almost ten minutes...
I've got a 45 minute commute ahead of me, hands-free phone, free long distance, and I'm bored. Let's play!!!
First time I get through I try playing along with their script. You want my name and address? Sure, here's a fake name and address. Oh, you found my case with that, perfect! Sure, you audited my taxes from 2010 to 2015 confidentially and found I owe you more...damn. The call came from central California which was obviously going to a call center in India (seriously, with that thick of an Indian accent you expect me to believe your name is Shaun Harris?) and the VOIP cut out. Damn. Let's try again...
Now who am I talking to? Victor Morris (again with the thick Indian accent). Great, Victor, I'm glad I got you! This is Chad with Bank of America calling about questionable charges on your Visa card. Did you place an order on a Danish website for several thousand dollars of liquor? No? So it's a fraudulent charge? No? Is it valid then, Victor? We here at B of A are trying to protect your credit...
Again, they finally hang up. Next! "Hello, this is the IRS." Congratulations, you've won a free Caribbean cruise from Carnival Cruise lines! Click.
They start figuring out my number and hanging up right as I call in. Last one before work, I get through and ask, "Am I annoying you? Or are we having fun yet? Please say we're having fun..." Click.
Lunchtime, have they forgotten about me? Call in..."Hello, this is the IRS."
Dude, man. Where's Dave? He gave me this number, said you'd answer with the IRS code phrase. The hookers OD'ed at the party two days ago, we need to get rid of the bodies! I got 47 keys of coke sitting here I gotta move, if the cops find it because the bodies stink the place up we're dead meat, man. Where's Dave, man? We gotta dump the bodies and move this coke!
"What are you saying?"
The hookers, man, they're dead! You need to help me get rid of the bodies!
"What are hookers?"
You know, man, the prostitutes, the gals you pay money to screw you.
"Don't you have a girlfriend?"
Yeah, man, I got a girl, these were for the guys at the party. But we gotta move the cocaine, too, dude. You know how much time we're looking at if the cops find us? I can't go back to the joint, man.
"Oh, don't do cocaine, it is bad for you."
I ain't doing it man, I'm just moving the shit! You gotta help me, we gotta get rid of the dead hookers! They're dead, man!!
That one I kept on the phone for almost ten minutes...