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Thread: LGBTQ- Why We Fight- A Journey Through the Past

  1. #21

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    Quote Originally Posted by dogboy View Post
    I'm still reading here. Yeah, I experienced some of the friction between male gays and lesbians, and I never understood it because we were all in the same boat. Reading about your experiences with your fathers made me think of mine. I never new what he thought about his son being gay, because he never said. My mom did all the talking. I loved my dad and he was a wonderful, loving person, but he never talked about personal stuff. He had a great sense of humor, and he'd get upset with some of the things on the news, but personal intercourse wasn't his thing.

    I bought a sailboat when I was in high school, and my dad taught me how to sail. He and I used to go out sailing in the evening, after supper. I don't remember us talking about a lot. It was like we both enjoyed being out on the water, and sometimes the silence said more than words. When I went to college, I sold my sailboat because money was needed to pay the many college expenses. Maybe more was lost than gained in selling the boat.
    I had three strikes against me with my father, beginning before the time I was born.

    My parents planned to have three kids. Fifteen months after they had their third child, something went wrong and my mother got pregnant with me. My father wanted her to have an abortion. She was a practicing catholic at the time, however, and the church wouldn't condone terminating the pregnancy. My father resented the church for their stand against abortion. He waited until I was thirteen to tell me this because he felt I would be old enough to understand. Strike One.

    My father drank heavily just prior to my birth. My mother issued an ultimatum to him that he could not touch a drop of alcohol during the time I was born and living in the house. Otherwise she would pack us all up and leave him. She meant it. So he had to stop drinking to keep the family together. My fault. Strike Two. He never touched a drop of booze while any of us were still living at home. I was the last child to move out of the house at the age of eighteen. Six months after I left home, he had his driver's license suspended for drunk driving.

    My father was a homophobe. I was probably displaying some gay tendencies and mannerisms by the time I was six years old. I wasn't the most masculine kid and lived through bullying throughout all my school years. I was an embarrasment to my father whose only concern was his image in the neighbourhood. Strike Three. I was intimidated, beaten, and I lived in fear of him. I repressed a lot of the memories, and for what I do remember, I don't recall a single fond memory of us spending time together. Not one. About twenty years ago, my brother took it upon himself to confirm with him that I was gay. He thought he could help my father understand me. Instead, it gave my father the reason to ban me from the family home for the remainder of his life. When he passed away, I felt nothing. I still feel nothing.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 1 Week Ago at 17:09.

  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starrunner View Post
    My father was a homophobe. I was probably displaying some gay tendencies and mannerisms by the time I was six years old. I wasn't the most masculine kid and lived through bullying throughout all my school years. I was an embarrasment to my father whose only concern was his image in the neighbourhood. Strike Three. I was intimidated, beaten, and I lived in fear of him. I repressed a lot of the memories, and for what I do remember, I don't recall a single fond memory of us spending time together. Not one. About twenty years ago, my brother took it upon himself to confirm with him that I was gay. He thought he could help my father understand me. Instead, it gave my father the reason to ban me from the family home for the remainder of his life. When he passed away, I felt nothing. I still feel nothing.
    Sadly, your father was a horrible person. I was lucky that I had parents that loved me, even though they probably didn't understand me. My mom was a lot more worldly than most for her generation. When she discovered my makeshift diapers along with the gay porn, she already knew about adult babies. She didn't approve of either however so off to the shrink I went.

    I suspect I gave off a gay vibe as a kid because other neighborhood boys were always wanting me to rub them, and sometimes, they wanted to touch me. Of course I think kids were more in the dark about such things. All we had in the 50s and 60s were our fathers' Playboys and Penthouses. My dad never bought porn and I know my mom wouldn't allow it in the house. She didn't allow me to buy Mad Magazine because she thought the artists drew the women's boobs too large.....sigh.

    It's funny how we were able to not only deceive how others perceived us, but how we deceived ourselves. My solution to bullying was to weight lift, and almost everyone left me alone. But when I went off to college, a whole new and different world opened up to me and making the realization and then the transition wasn't easy. I spent a lot of my Freshman year in bed and skipping classes. Eventually I found myself, and part of that was through my writing of poetry. I still have everything I wrote and the better poems are up on my computer with all the misspellings corrected.....haha. I was a terrible speller.

  3. #23

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    In keeping with the LGBTQ history of this thread, a true fighter for human rights has passed away this week.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41248327

    Edith Windsor was a U.S. activist who was responsible for the courts striking down the Defense of marriage Act. She and her partner were together for forty four years and married in Canada in 2007. When her partner passed away, she was ordered to pay $363,053 in federal estate taxes. She argued that the definition of marriage between a man and a woman prevented her from being eligible for a tax cut that heterosexual couples could claim, and was therefore unconstitutional.

    The Supreme Court ruled in her favour which paved the way for more legal cases and the eventual ruling that gave gays and lesbians in the US the right to marry.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41248327

    She passed away at the age of 88, small and frail, yet she was an unstoppable human dynamo, and her place in our history is secure and very well deserved.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 1 Week Ago at 17:33.

  4. #24

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    Quote Originally Posted by Starrunner View Post
    In keeping with the LGBTQ history of this thread, a true fighter for human rights has passed away this week.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41248327

    Edith Windsor was a U.S. activist who was responsible for the courts striking down the Defense of marriage Act. She and her partner were together for forty four years and married in Canada in 2007. When her partner passed away, she was ordered to pay $363,053 in federal estate taxes. She argued that the definition of marriage between a man and a woman prevented her from being eligible for a tax cut that heterosexual couples could claim, and was therefore unconstitutional.

    The Supreme Court ruled in her favour which paved the way for more legal cases and the eventual ruling that gave gays and lesbians in the US the right to marry.

    http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-41248327

    She passed away at the age of 88, small and frail, yet she was an unstoppable human dynamo, and her place in our history is secure and very well deserved.
    I read an article about her perhaps a year or more ago, when same sex marriage was being discussed as becoming legal in the U. S. She was an amazing pioneer.

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