How secretive is your kink on a scale of 1-10?

I'd say between a 1 or a 2. I'm alright with talking about them on forums about them (I mean, obviously they're the reason why I joined the forum..) but I don't think I could ever let anyone else know. I'm even scared to tell my boyfriend, as he's said before thinks childishness is cute, but baby stuff isn't cute. (his words were "I don't find changing diapers and spoon-feeding all that cute.) I trust him with a lot of stuff, but I don't think I'll ever be able to trust him with this. It's alright though, I can manage wearing in secret and acting as an AB is secret.

Orange said:

I don't really care if someone were to find out about it, a couple friends have via ye olde "porn still up when computer turns on" route and it's been whatever.

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This has always been a pretty big fear of mine lol

Orange said:

(except for one prickish moment where one of my friends asked a car full of people, "what if the biggest badass you knew pretended to be a baby all the time? Like you're a party with this dude who's wearing baby clothes and a diaper but he ends up getting in a fight and kicking ass, what would you think?" Everyone was like "Wtf D? I don't know man, I guess it'd be weird." I think he was just trying to be funny but he shut up about it once he caught my deathstare from the backseat and didn't bring it up around me after that.)

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That's kinda messed up even hinting at something so personal and private. At least it sounds like you let him know with that death stare hehe and it wasn't a full on "outing". And it sounds like he thinks you're a badass so that's something lol

Orange said:

But it's not something I would willing tell anyone who isn't a romantic partner. I'm not really embarrassed about it but I don't see the point in sharing my kinks with my friends. I don't want to know their kinks, I assume the feeling is mutual. If someone I know asks and isn't one themselves I wouldn't deny it, I just tell them it's none of their fucking business and I would be kinda pissed that at them for asking.

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I have mixed feelings about this. I feel very similar to the way you feel about it. If it's not something someone needs to know or would benefit from knowing, then why bother telling them?

But on the flipside, it'd be nice to know that you have friends and are around people that completely and fully accept everything about you. Friends wanting to know more about their friends I feel is a pretty natural and normal thing. Of course, asking about a kink is a pretty frigginng personal thing. But if you have a friend that's close enough that can be trusted with such info or equally respect that you don't want to share something like that, then to me that just means the friendship is that much stronger and healthier.

But I'd never just randomly bring it up to one of my friends, that's for damn sure!

Love the poll idea! Super cool!

I chose 4, but I wouldn't just come out and say I like to wear diapers. If someone asked why I was wearing diapers, I would say something along the lines that I have sensory processing issues that affect my ability to feel my bladder, and I sometimes have accidents. All of what I just said is true, but I would have to have a relationship with someone before I told them about my medical issues.

It doesnt bother me for people to know I wear a diaper. Although I usually try to use a stall, Ive been asked at a urinal if Im wearing a diaper when Ive worn a pullup and unbuckled and unzipped in order to pull the front down enough to urinate. "Its a medical thing" is my general response and nobody has been negative. But I am more shy about discussing the issue with people I know like friends or relatives. I will sometimes discuss it in terms of medical issues, like "I wear a diaper to bed just in case because of the meds." There's no point hiding what can't always be hidden but I guess the reality is that I only discuss my diaper and/or urination issues with others in a context they can understand and aren't likely to react to negatively. The response is usually something like, "Oh, okay, I understand" but the conversation seldom goes beyond that.

I guess I don't really see the responses as being clearly on a continuum. For me, it entirely depends on the person who is potentially finding out about my kink.
I have told therapists, close friends and my spouse, and that was really good - and I wanted to do that.
But I've also very intentionally and carefully kept it private from friends, acquaintances, and my family.
As I've said in the past, I don't regard this as a secret anymore; just something private, sort of like I keep my medical records private. If you need to know, then sure, I'm at a place where I'm not that wound up. But I do fear having career consequences if it were to become public public.

I finally managed to log on with my PC (polls STILL do not work on mobile). I gave it a 2. I am open to share my diaper *compulsion* with most anyone (since this is more than just a simple desire). However; I also recognise most everyone has no reason or need to know what kind of "underwear" I use. To me, this in NOT a kink, or fetish, or even a simple desire. being abdl is just who I am, and if anyone has a need to know the true and full me, then so be it.

I think being totally discreet about something as intimate and emotionally conflicting as my diaper needs is the only course. Except for intimate partners,why tell others? Our diaper choices are more likely to cause others to be uncomfortable, and think less of us than any other intended effect of disclosing this personal aspect of ourselves.

I do enjoy sharing my lifestyle choices online with likeminded adults both for mutual support and encouragement. Including even, on occasion the kinky side.

So I voted for 9 I believe.

Two synonyms of the word discreet expand and clarify my concept on this:


1. Unostentatious

2. Unobtrusive


It isn't that I won't or can't share. It's that I want to carefully control who knows and who is allowed to share the 'DL' concept with me.

Yes, to this date over the decades, only the 'select few' know.

9 = my vote.