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Thread: The "right" one?

  1. #1

    Default The "right" one?

    So if you find a significalt other, but that person doesn't know about you diapered side, or otherwise can't accept your diaper needs, are they really the right one for you? And how long are you willing to lie to them/youself to keep that false happiness going?

    Conversely, if you are too afraid, or otherwise can't bring yourself to tell them about this full you, are you really the right one for them? Thoughts?

  2. #2

  3. #3

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    Talk it out, they may not like what you do but if they love you they will find a way.

    I am speaking from experience, I am getting married in January and she knows all about it. We have sat down and discussed it at length, it almost caused us to break up. Wiyh some understanding and knowledge she was able to get to a point of acceptance. Not a "willing to join in" yet but she isn't saying no. If she can't accept who you are, can she really love you? Can she really want be with you?

    I believe the same can be said for any man as well

    Sent from my SAMSUNG-SM-G891A using Tapatalk

  4. #4

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    I told my wife after 11 years of marriage hoping our love and marriage were strong enough to get through it. Her initial reaction was a surprising acceptance. But then the next day, she started sending me texts at work saying I was sick in the head and possessed by the devil and that she wants to take the kids and leave. I went from being elated about her acceptance to being devasted about her rejection. I obviously cut my work day short and went home to try to smooth things over. After much talking she accepted it again realizing that it hurt nobody so she stayed. A few days later I came hom from work and she was crying on the couch saying that she can't pretend to be okay with something she isn't okay with and was disgusted by. She told me to throw my stash out stop wearing or she was leaving for reals this time. I promised I would stop and I did for about three months. Then one day she surprised me and said that she was wrong for threatening to leave, but it was so new and weird to her that she needed more time to process it. Once she had that time, she decided that she was okay with me wearing, as long as it was only in my alone time and that she would never know when I had been doing it. I also had to keep my stash hidden and can never have diapers shipped to the house. I also can never let her see a dirty diaper anywhere. So basically, she wants to live as if it doesn't exist. And that's how it has been for the last two years or so. It's not ideal and it definitely makes me question if she really is "the one", but we have three kids and are in so deep into the marriage that I couldn't even fathom separating at this point. Although, if she were to tell me she couldn't take the diaper thing anymore and threatened to leave again, I would probably let her go.

  5. #5

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    From my own experience, it really depends on how much you believe AB/DL is a part of your life. For some people, this is just a part time thing, and they can operate just fine without them. However, there is a section of the community that thinks about them nearly 24/7, and those individuals who try to ignore it only to find themselves coming back to it later. If you find yourself in a vicious binge and purge cycle coupled with feelings of guilt and self hatred, then you need to reflect on that and decide what is best for you. In some cases, people will find that they MUST be paired with a Mommy/Daddy or AB/DL/Little. It isn't a choice for these people, because they feel they must be allowed to express that side of themselves in order to function properly.

    I started out as an AB myself, but I've had a fascination with being a Daddy to an adult baby girl ever since I found out there were others out there like me. For me personally, it was something that was constantly on my mind, and I found that it would not leave me alone no matter how much I wanted to forget about it. After a couple failed vanilla relationships, I took a few years to reflect upon myself and my own needs. It was then that I decided I needed an AB girl in my life, and I would not stop looking until I found one.

    Luckily, I ran into an AB girl on FetLife who just so happened to be living in my city. We hit it off almost instantly, and now we are planning on having an AB themed wedding when the funds are right, and we can afford to go to Capcon or another one of the conventions.

    Looking back at everything now, I wouldn't change a thing, and I would encourage anyone who needs this in their life to pursue it to the fullest. It's going to take a lot of work and patience, especially if you're looking for the elusive Mommy types out there. But don't ever let that discourage you from trying. It took me several years of off and on searching to find an AB girl that was right for me. FetLife is a great place to find and meet people, but you have to put thought and effort into your profile. If you don't show that you have an interesting personality, you will have a rough time finding what you want.

    So yes, if you are a person who sees being an AB/DL as a lifestyle choice, you should not settle for anyone who refuses to accept you. You will be absolutely miserable.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by WABX View Post
    Well which one it is it? Did you tell?
    The question wasn't for me. It was to get a better sense if why some members here prefer to hide this part of themselves to their significant others.

    And for what it's worth. I told my then girfriend I'm diapered 24/7 on our third or fourth date. We have been married 15 years now.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Edit. Even if diaper wearing is only a part time thing, it's still a part of your life. And if two people can't accept each other for who they are, then they clearly aren't right for each other. Now are they.

    Paddedinpayllup make this perfect case in point. He wasted 11 years with the wrong person, and even had kids with her. All before finding out she couldn't accept that hidden and part time part of himself. I mean, it's good he found a way to make it work, but they are hardly compatible on the subject of diapers.

  7. #7

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    I wouldn't pursue a relationship with a person who wouldn't accept me for who I am. I am currently diapered part time, but would like to devote more time to the practice. I am one of those people DaddyVincent talked about when needing to be diapered at least once a week in order to continue functioning properly. At the most I would like to be diapered for some part of every day when it became ideal to do so.

    I have never thought about FetLife as a way to connect with like minded others because I would like to do it the old fashioned way (as in face to face and dating). Although FetLife may work for some people, people like me who prefer tradition over a fast track to finding someone may be the only way to do so. Because of my generation being subscribed to social media in a way in which I cannot comprehend the attraction to this kind of interaction, face-to-face interaction is dying in this day and age without first meeting on social media.

    If I were to meet a person who would accept me and help me in my desires as a counterpart I would require them to be an AB/Little with little to no kinky side. Basically, my ideal situation would be two ABs/Littles of opposite gender in symbiosis (as in melding the roles of "unofficial" caretaker and the baby) so that both people could experience both sides of the coin while still being able to play together. If I was not accepted by the significant other I was dating after telling them when I could trust them enough, I would break up and keep looking for the "one". I do not want the ABDL lifestyle being the defining factor of the relationship either, I would also want some of my "adult" interests to be shared by this individual. With that meld of both adult and inner child, I would finally not only find a playmate, but also find someone I love who shares in my interests and my desires. That is my ideal person that would likely become my wife.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Slomo
    It was to get a better sense of why some members here prefer to hide this part of themselves to their significant others.
    The question for many of us is - when to tell a potential SO? There is no need to tell anyone for whom you don't feel an emotional attachment. The problem is, emotional attachment can occur quickly. You are then in a situation where you have a strong desire to continue the relationship and are wondering when to drop the bomb on it. Do you wait until you know the person better so you can approach the subject in the best way and also have a better understanding of the possible fallout? Or do you do it kamikaze style and blurt it out right away? Waiting too long can mean waiting forever. Telling too soon might mean destroying a good thing that might have survived with a little more patience. It's a tough, personal choice, and it will impact the relationship with a 10% chance of heaven and 80% chance of hell.

  9. #9

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    When I first met my wife at a dance, I told her "if you want children, look elsewhere" as I decided at age 15 that I would not have them. My DL side was dormant at the time (very much alive at ages 4-8), so that did not come up. Having colitis starting at age 25 caused my DL to rear its head, and I kept my desires secret for the next 35 years or so. When I finally "came out", she did not care (we were no longer physically intimate at that point, so I am sure that was a factor).

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by AustinTheLionhearted View Post
    I have never thought about FetLife as a way to connect with like minded others because I would like to do it the old fashioned way (as in face to face and dating). Although FetLife may work for some people, people like me who prefer tradition over a fast track to finding someone may be the only way to do so. Because of my generation being subscribed to social media in a way in which I cannot comprehend the attraction to this kind of interaction, face-to-face interaction is dying in this day and age without first meeting on social media.
    I thought this way for a long time, but I eventually gave into the whole FetLife thing after finding little to no success in face to face meetings. Personally, I think there is a lot of stigma surrounding the online dating community that is unwarranted. While I do agree with you on the fact that social media is sort of taking over the world, the fact remains that online dating drastically increases your chances of finding the best possible match for you. Otherwise, you are kind of relying on your location to deliver the results you are looking for. I guess it also depends on where you live. For me, I live in a small town, so I probably had a better chance at hitting the lottery than finding a genuine AB girl.

    I wasn't really looking to turn a vanilla person into an AB, because I wanted the person to have a passion for the lifestyle. However, I also didn't go with the first one I found, because I did not want AB/DL to be the only thing we got together for. Prior to actually dating and agreeing to marry her, I did a few scenes with some local girls through FetLife and other sites. No sex or anything like that mind you, but I would baby them and waited to see how things developed. It didn't work out with several of them before I finally ended up finding the one I was meant to be with.

    In short, I believe finding the right one has less to do with the way you choose to find that person, and more to do with how much effort you put into analyzing that persons personality before committing to anything serious. Some people will "fall in love" and want to have sex with the first person they see. Whereas people like myself take the time to make sure we can talk to that person about the most intimate and thought provoking subjects before we make that commitment.

    I'm a traditionalist when it comes to romance, but I guess I just always seen meeting face to face as cliche. For instance, guys and girls meeting at bars and getting together only because they find each other physically attractive. Getting together for the sake of attractiveness and locality has never made sense to me. In my experience, those are the types of relationships that I always see failing or struggling. I definitely understand your reluctance though.

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