Wearing in public advice?

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phires

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  1. Diaper Lover
  2. Carer
So my friend wants me to wear for her birthday party but I've never worn in public before. I know I'm gonna be a nervous wreck during it, does anyone have any tips or just sensible logic to make me feel better? I'm going to be wearing a goodnite and we're going to watch a movie with a few other friends, some of which know I wear
 
Don't worry no one will notice
 
Not only do people notice diapers, not even somewhat bulky ones such as ConfiDry24/7 or Northshore Supreme, let alone goodnights (which are very discreet), but you're also going to be around a bunch of others you know who wear! Consider yourself lucky, almost all other DLs have to go it alone :smile:
 
I wear 24/7 for IC. I hardly ever think about it now. No one notices.

I used to think it was so obvious but it's really not. It's obvious to you because you can feel it. You know it's there so it seems obvious to you in the mirror.

I usually wear a northshore supreme lite during the day which is a fairly thin (though extremely absorbent) diaper. I was about to get on a 6 hour flight and knew I didn't want to deal with a leak or changing in a plane bathroom so I put on a BetterDry with an Abena Abri Let Maxi booster. That makes for one super thick diaper and I was walking around a busy airport like that with my bermuda shorts and a t-shirt. No one noticed even though I felt like I was wearing a pillow.
 
Adding to the chorus that nobody will notice. I recently went out with a friend who knows that I wear and then asked her afterwards if she had any guess what sort of underwear I'd been wearing while we were out, and she couldn't tell that I'd had a diaper on at all, even though I'd been wearing one of the thick ABU diapers (which are about as bulky and noisy as it gets).

You, phires, are even extra lucky because you've been asked to wear by a friend who actually wants you to wear a diaper and with friends who know about it. So even if they notice (which is really unlikely), there won't be any problem.
 
To to youtube and watch "gorrilla test" (or selective attention test). This will show you how people really, simply, do not notice. And that's for something obvious. A goodnite is near impossible to detect. I wear confidry under my work slacks, in a auiet office. In 14 years not one person has noticed.

The only concern you should really have is if you intend to actually use the goodnite. After all, a thin diaper which has leaked is way more noticable than a thick one which has done its job.
 
I just live by the fact that people will only notice if you want them to notice.

For example, I've been out wearing white shorts with a baby print nappy underneath, because I want to leave people guessing!!
 
I have been wearing for over 2 years for a OAB Issue, no one has noticed or said anything I wear dry 24/7's and Forsite AM/PM have also tried ABU simples and rearz inspire + diapers and no one noticed we stress about the diaper when we first start wearing but over time you learn no one notices or cares if they do
 
Goodnights are pretty stealthy. Your friend will probably find it impossible to tell you're wearing even though they know to look for it. Don't worry about it at all. I wear ABU preschool daily to work and they're pretty hard to notice under cargo pants even if you know what to look for.
 
Actually, people do notice. I was walking past a picnic table once when a boy there made a loud comment about wearing a diaper and his father immediately shushed him. If people notice you there is a good chance they will notice the bulge of a thick diaper, but they rarely say anything about it.

If you are overly sensitive to people thinking you are wearing a diaper you could always walk around naked from the waist down. That way, if anyone does notice you, they will immediately conclude that you are not wearing a diaper, and everything will be ok.
 
Drifter said:
Actually, people do notice. I was walking past a picnic table once when a boy there made a loud comment about wearing a diaper and his father immediately shushed him. If people notice you there is a good chance they will notice the bulge of a thick diaper, but they rarely say anything about it.

If you are overly sensitive to people thinking you are wearing a diaper you could always walk around naked from the waist down. That way, if anyone does notice you, they will immediately conclude that you are not wearing a diaper, and everything will be ok.

Lol, I do believe younger kids are more aware of others around you, and given their lack of resteaint are much more likely to say something. You'd still have to be making it fairly obvious you're diapered though. I'd recommend dressing more appropriately if you want to keep it discrete.
 
Drifter said:
Actually, people do notice. I was walking past a picnic table once when a boy there made a loud comment about wearing a diaper and his father immediately shushed him. If people notice you there is a good chance they will notice the bulge of a thick diaper, but they rarely say anything about it.

If you are overly sensitive to people thinking you are wearing a diaper you could always walk around naked from the waist down. That way, if anyone does notice you, they will immediately conclude that you are not wearing a diaper, and everything will be ok.

I'm sure people do notice sometimes. A lot depends on how you dress. I wear 247 for IC, and I'd bet 99% of the time no one could tell. I'm also sure that on a few occasions people have seen my diaper. Situations like bending over or reaching for an item up high on a store shelf may have exposed the top of my diaper. Most times though, the bulge of a diaper alone doesn't indicate much, most people think you probably just have a big of a fat butt.

The key is to find pants that are neither too loose or too tight. It's also immensely helpful if you don't have to tuck your shirt in. I wear polo shirts untucked to work and they go a bit more than half way down my butt. When I do find myself in situations where I must wear a tucked in shirt, I wear a suit or at least sport coat. Suit jackets and sport coats cover 90% of your butt and no one would be able to tell.

I don't wear onesies but I do wear under armour compression shorts that are quite snug. They compress and smooth out the bulge quite a bit.
 
To put it in perspective, approximately 10% of senior aduilts wear some sort of diaper or protection. How many of them have you noticed recently? Unless the diaper is obviously visible like waistband sticking out or wearing really tight pants, people just aren't going to notice. I regularly take my baby girl out wearing ABU SDKs (plus stuffer) under her shorts and have never even caught people doing a 2nd look except for one time when she pulled her shorts up too far and the diaper was bulging out of the leg openings. Nobody said anything but there were a few 2nd glances.

A final thought. Even if someone does notice, who cares? Most people would be more sympathetic than anything since they'd assume you have a disability of some kind. Given that I had my baby in Hello Kitty stuff, one may have wondered if there was more to it, but oh did she look adorable!
 
Your normal person is not diaper spotting on adults they assume they are something kids and old people wear. No one is looking. It'll be fine.
 
mysticab said:
To put it in perspective, approximately 10% of senior aduilts wear some sort of diaper or protection. How many of them have you noticed recently?
That's an interesting point. I don't know what percent of the youth/adult population wears diapers but of the thousands of people I've seen in public over the years I've probably only seen two or three that suggested a strong possibility of the presence of a diaper.

Of course, the fears we have are not so much a matter of the odds of being discovered, but more a matter of the consequences of having the wrong people finding out. The odds may be small but the consequences can be serious.
 
Drifter said:
That's an interesting point. I don't know what percent of the youth/adult population wears diapers but of the thousands of people I've seen in public over the years I've probably only seen two or three that suggested a strong possibility of the presence of a diaper.

Of course, the fears we have are not so much a matter of the odds of being discovered, but more a matter of the consequences of having the wrong people finding out. The odds may be small but the consequences can be serious.

The consequences of being outed will only be serious if you let it. How someone reacts can and often is a result of how well you explain it to others. That is if you even do. Some stranger finding out your diapered will not make a difference in the least. Conversely, some family member finding out takes controlling the situation and preventing them from coming to some misconclusion.
 
Slomo said:
To to youtube and watch "gorrilla test" (or selective attention test). This will show you how people really, simply, do not notice. And that's for something obvious. A goodnite is near impossible to detect. I wear confidry under my work slacks, in a auiet office. In 14 years not one person has noticed.

That's actually an excellent way to demonstrate how only someone looking for a diaper is going to find one. Since you know you are wearing, you are hyper-aware of every indication that you are wearing, but to anyone else, they would never notice.
 
you could also ask yourself how many times you've seen an adult or older person buying diapers at a store, or in their cart, but you didn't notice the diaper they were probably wearing right in front of you.
 
Slomo said:
The consequences of being outed will only be serious if you let it. How someone reacts can and often is a result of how well you explain it to others. That is if you even do. Some stranger finding out your diapered will not make a difference in the least. Conversely, some family member finding out takes controlling the situation and preventing them from coming to some misconclusion.
The problem is there is no rational way to explain it to others. Even people on this site are reluctant to accept the only rational explanation for loving diapers, so it's unlikely that others outside our group would accept any explanation. For those who have managed to keep it a secret from their families, being outed would most likely change the family dynamics in unwanted ways. In rare cases some family members would be openly accepting and supportive but most would harbor suspicions of your mental health and moral standards. There is no shortage of testimony here that family relationships can be strained or destroyed by being discovered.

Most of us would be uncomfortable with coworkers or friends in social groups finding out our secret. There is no way to prevent anyone from coming to a "misconclusion". They have the right to decide for themselves if our desires are sick, disgusting, and/or signs of serious mental illness. Some people would display a 'live and let live' attitude and feign disinterest but even they would no doubt find our freakish behavior at least a little disturbing, and that would have a dampening effect on the relationship.

Most of us aren't overly concerned about strangers noticing, but the consequences of unknowing relatives or acquaintances noticing would be, at the very least, uncomfortable.
 
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