Wearing in public advice?

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Drifter said:
The problem is there is no rational way to explain it to others. Even people on this site are reluctant to accept the only rational explanation for loving diapers, so it's unlikely that others outside our group would accept any explanation. For those who have managed to keep it a secret from their families, being outed would most likely change the family dynamics in unwanted ways. In rare cases some family members would be openly accepting and supportive but most would harbor suspicions of your mental health and moral standards. There is no shortage of testimony here that family relationships can be strained or destroyed by being discovered.

Most of us would be uncomfortable with coworkers or friends in social groups finding out our secret. There is no way to prevent anyone from coming to a "misconclusion". They have the right to decide for themselves if our desires are sick, disgusting, and/or signs of serious mental illness. Some people would display a 'live and let live' attitude and feign disinterest but even they would no doubt find our freakish behavior at least a little disturbing, and that would have a dampening effect on the relationship.

Most of us aren't overly concerned about strangers noticing, but the consequences of unknowing relatives or acquaintances noticing would be, at the very least, uncomfortable.

Of course there is, and you just said it. Loving diapers. And preventing miscommunication is easily done with lots of good communication.

I've been able to see a far amount of those negative reactions come from people here saying, admitting, or otherwise describing, just how little they were trying to communicate that loving diaper is a part of who we are. Then there's those who say they were ourtright trying to hide it and or avoid that communication outright.

Now yes, there are people who have already come to their own misconclusions before any actual communication was attempted. Again though, that would still be partly the fault of members here who chose to keep this hidden yet failed to do so and were caught before any explanation was attempted.

And as far as things being uncomfortable, they don't have to be. It's only when we ourselves are uncomfortable with our diapers that having others know is also uncomfortable. If diapers are no big deal to you, then it's no big deal if others know about them, regardless if they are informed well enough to be able to accept it.
 
Slomo said:
Of course there is, and you just said it. Loving diapers. And preventing miscommunication is easily done with lots of good communication.

Society sees diaper love as a mental illness. The fact that some people with this condition aren't aware or won't admit it is a mental illness only reinforces society's opinion that it is because that's how people with mental defects often react. Open minded friends and relatives, at best, will try to humor you and listen to your explanations, but privately they will most likely see you as delusional and won't find your arguments rational. Communication is a two way street and there is no such thing as "good" communication between two people when either or both sees the other as being out of touch with reality.

Everybody is different and some people really don't care if they fit in with society. Most of us, though, do want to fit in and don't want to become social outcasts because of society's understandable belief that what we have is a serious mental defect. Right or wrong, we know that society will always condemn our bizarre behavior so common sense tells us to keep quiet about it. There are consequences for living a lie and consequences for exposing one's self, so choose your own path. Good communication does not exist. It's more a matter of successful vs failed communication, which can't be known in advance, so there are situations when it's best to avoid specific communication altogether.
 
Drifter said:
Society sees diaper love as a mental illness. The fact that some people with this condition aren't aware or won't admit it is a mental illness only reinforces society's opinion that it is because that's how people with mental defects often react. Open minded friends and relatives, at best, will try to humor you and listen to your explanations, but privately they will most likely see you as delusional and won't find your arguments rational. Communication is a two way street and there is no such thing as "good" communication between two people when either or both sees the other as being out of touch with reality.

Everybody is different and some people really don't care if they fit in with society. Most of us, though, do want to fit in and don't want to become social outcasts because of society's understandable belief that what we have is a serious mental defect. Right or wrong, we know that society will always condemn our bizarre behavior so common sense tells us to keep quiet about it. There are consequences for living a lie and consequences for exposing one's self, so choose your own path. Good communication does not exist. It's more a matter of successful vs failed communication, which can't be known in advance, so there are situations when it's best to avoid specific communication altogether.

Well you are right society sees us as bizarre, but they have historically also seen us a fetish driven pedophiles with a mental illness. I clearly remember when being gay was seen the same way, but as we got other gay people to understand it wasn't like this, society started getting a unified message that shifted their perspective. Now we all pretty well understand being gay is not bizarre or a mental illness, just a part of who we are.

I hold hope we can do the same with abdl, and have been trying to educate members here towards that end. Oddly though I've met a lot of resistance to any kind of positive understanding- amongst just ourselves. And while I know change is slow, I also know it is inevitable. Societ will not always condemn us for who we are. Some day decades off we will be accepted.

Till then, all we can do is keep trying to communicate that positive understanding- one person at a time.
 
Drifter said:
Society sees diaper love as a mental illness. /QUOTE]

I think that might be a bit extreme. It probably compares better to "body modification" like people with hoops in their ears or piercings on their lips. On one hand it's perhaps a bit more unusual, but on the other hand it's not in-your-face, it's much more discrete. I think this makes it a wash.

I'd bet the average person hold "saggers" (those that let their pants hang down several inches below the belt, exposing inches of their boxers) in lower regard. Sort of the same thing, but being intentionally exposed and unnecessarily / undesirably involving random strangers.
 
Slomo said:
Well you are right society sees us as bizarre, but they have historically also seen us a fetish driven pedophiles with a mental illness. I clearly remember when being gay was seen the same way, but as we got other gay people to understand it wasn't like this, society started getting a unified message that shifted their perspective. Now we all pretty well understand being gay is not bizarre or a mental illness, just a part of who we are.

I hold hope we can do the same with abdl, and have been trying to educate members here towards that end. Oddly though I've met a lot of resistance to any kind of positive understanding- amongst just ourselves. And while I know change is slow, I also know it is inevitable. Societ will not always condemn us for who we are. Some day decades off we will be accepted.

Till then, all we can do is keep trying to communicate that positive understanding- one person at a time.

I think culture tends to be cyclical more than progressive. A hundred years from now, if the U.S. still exists, gays there may end up being committed to mental institutions again, or even worse.

I believe I have a "kind of positive understanding" of homosexuality and ABDL behavior in the sense that I see them both as the result of the same natural process responsible for heterosexual desires. Having a solid, scientific explanation could be helpful in establishing the fact that these things really are a permanent but relatively harmless part of our individual personalities. Still, there would be some resistance. It's easy to imagine many gays bristling at the thought of equating, on any level, the concepts of gay love and diaper love. Pretty much the same way many straights bristle at the thought that gay love is equal to heterosexual love. The resistance to uncommon sexual and behavioral variations is also natural more than cultural in origin, but it is reinforced by culture.

On a social level there is a major difference between gays and ABDLs, namely that diapers are much easier to hide than a real life partner so no specific legal restrictions on ABDL activities were ever deemed necessary. Because of that, it is unlikely the LGBTQ community will ever add ABDL to it's alphabet. This is a good thing. I cringe at the thought of an ABDL Rights Parade. (all carrying a white gauze flag :laugh:)

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bambinod said:
Drifter said:
Society sees diaper love as a mental illness.

I think that might be a bit extreme. It probably compares better to "body modification" like people with hoops in their ears or piercings on their lips. On one hand it's perhaps a bit more unusual, but on the other hand it's not in-your-face, it's much more discrete. I think this makes it a wash.

I'd bet the average person hold "saggers" (those that let their pants hang down several inches below the belt, exposing inches of their boxers) in lower regard. Sort of the same thing, but being intentionally exposed and unnecessarily / undesirably involving random strangers.

I have to disagree.

It's normal in nearly all current and past cultures for people to have all kinds of uniforms, tattoos or piercings. It could be for group identity, artistic expression, or just for fun. People see some of this as ridiculous but all of it is in the realm of normal human expression. For most people, the various ways we decorate our bodies can be explained in terms of natural selection because, like all animals, we engage in social and mating rituals that can seem bizarre but serve an evolutionary purpose.

Having sexual feelings for non sexual objects, or regressing to an infantile state of complete dependence, are different. Since few people can explain these things in logical, evolutionary terms, the only other explanation for them is that they are psychological abnormalities.
 
Drifter said:
I believe I have a "kind of positive understanding" of homosexuality and ABDL behavior in the sense that I see them both as the result of the same natural process responsible for heterosexual desires. Having a solid, scientific explanation could be helpful in establishing the fact that these things really are a permanent but relatively harmless part of our individual personalities. Still, there would be some resistance. It's easy to imagine many gays bristling at the thought of equating, on any level, the concepts of gay love and diaper love. Pretty much the same way many straights bristle at the thought that gay love is equal to heterosexual love. The resistance to uncommon sexual and behavioral variations is also natural more than cultural in origin, but it is reinforced by culture.

On a social level there is a major difference between gays and ABDLs, namely that diapers are much easier to hide than a real life partner so no specific legal restrictions on ABDL activities were ever deemed necessary. Because of that, it is unlikely the LGBTQ community will ever add ABDL to it's alphabet. This is a good thing. I cringe at the thought of an ABDL Rights Parade. (all carrying a white gauze flag :laugh:)

Oh I agree. Gay love and ABDL love are NOT the same, nor are they equal. All I'm pointing out is that there ARE some similarities.
 
If a friend/coworker/family finds out, it's best to just play the medical card and instead of scorn you'll get sympathy. Little difficult to do this if they also catch you with a paci in your mouth, but if they just see a diaper and you get asked about it tell them you need them for medical reasons. There are endless medical reasons for incontinence, fell off your bike and hit the handlebar with your abdomen to severe urinary tract infection. If they want to know why they are pink with princess designs on them (come on ABU/Bambino please make a descent girls design diaper!) then it's because they were free off Craigslist.
 
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