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Thread: How your parents were raised affected how you were treated growing up.

  1. #1

    Default How your parents were raised affected how you were treated growing up.

    I tend to think how parents were raised can have a effect on how we were treated as kids.
    In some cases.
    My dad's parents were very strict one was a school teacher he's dad was a builder.
    Now in his time you had to be a man tough and men never cried.
    He felt the same for me I remember him throwing the baseball at me and hitting me.
    To get me over being afraid of getting hit with the baseball.
    His mom was just as bad.
    My mom's side Grandma could stop you with a look when my mom was little she got spanked and tied to chairs for time outs.
    My mom believed that you started discipline while still babies.
    Which a little swat on bottem was the norm but after the time all she had to do was look at you a certain way or did you want a spanking and you'd quit right then.

    As far as my having accidents my dad thought I was lazy because he had same problem.
    So I was punished for that and spanked.

    My grandfather's brother on my dad side died of stomach cancer because they used to sit there and punch each other as hard as they could in the stomach to see how tough they were. So that's kind of the environment my dad grew up in.
    So I wonder what kind of cascading effects this had on us growing up.
    Now granted I feel some parents will reject the harshness they received and raise their children there own way.

    So maybe in some ways looking at the past can help us understand what happened to us.
    Maybe even give you a little insight.
    I grew up in the spanking era but there's a fine line.
    So how much did your parents up bringing roll into yours.
    Have you changed how you parent .

  2. #2


    I agree with this that the way your parents were raised has a major impact on how yours raises you, if that makes sense.

  3. #3


    I don't really know much about how my parents were raised. I never knew either of my grandfathers, and my grandmothers were certainly very different and very interesting people.

    Much of my childhood included abuse from my parents, primarily my father and stepmother. That's actually part of why I've felt averse to having children myself -- I don't want to perpetuate that. Yet surprisingly I get on very well with kids, at least in "small doses". I'm sure my patience would wear thin if I had to deal with it 24/7. ^^;

  4. #4


    My father was raised in an environment where the siblings were encouraged to compete ("why can't you be like so-and-so?", etc.) He swore that he would never do that to us and he didn't. Unfortunately he was also not raised in a loving environment so in turn he was cold. Being forced to marry due to a pregnancy did not help. The eldest was pretty much hated as if it was his fault for being born.

    My mother was raised with a male sibling who was the favored son. Where he could do no wrong (and ended up a deadbeat), she could do no right. Hard to imagine that growing up in such an environment she would end up spoiled, shallow and entitled, but she did.

    Growing up observing other parents, I pretty much ignored both of them.

  5. #5


    my dad was beaten the crap out of, by his dad, and my dad followed this way of life,

    my dad said always i'm a moron and an imbicile, i was beaten the crap out because of my bedwetting, and as scared as i was i started pooping my diapers and pants, this was yet another thing to beat me up again..
    my mom was raised into a warm family, and she was not able to stop my dad, and back in 1995 they divorced, and my dad told i was the cause of the divorce..

    anyway, grandparents are a huge influence in rules and way of life to your parents,
    people with addiction are prone to influence kids after generation to come so...
    it makes a huge difference

  6. #6


    I think that parents' upbringing has a significant impact on how they raise their own children, however I believe it can go two ways. The parents raise their children the same way they were raised or they do their best to do the opposite. My father is an opposite and my mother the same.

    My father's biological father left when my dad was about two years old. His mother, my Nana, remarried to the man who raised my dad, his true father, my Grandpa Gene. Gene was very strict. There were many times my father and the other children were beaten. My Nana was a drug addict with some mental health issues as well. I didn't know her well because she died when I was little. From what I knew of my Grandpa Gene, he was a very docile man, but he had two strokes when I was young and they changed him. The only memories I have of him are of him once he was "chairbound" and could hardly speak. My grandpa Gene and Nana divorced at some point and Gene remarried my father's stepmother, Inge. I didn't know her very well, but she seemed like a nice lady.

    The main point above is my father was raised in a very harsh environment. He was beaten. He had to get a job in high school to help pay bills. He was not shown much compassion. My father, in raising my sisters and I, was most definitely the pushover, at least until he remarried my stepmother. He tried to offer my sister and I (only one is close to my age) as much compassion as he could. He was at all of our sports games and concerts. He went to my sister's plays. He was very supportive of us. He took his experiences growing up and decided he wanted to provide a better experience for his children.

    My mother was also raised in a strict home. They often got the belt or the hairbrush for beatings. If the child who broke the rule didn't fess up, they would all be punished. But my grandparents did their best to raise their children to be successful. There was love there. They were very poor but did their best to provide for their children as best as they could.

    My mother took those things to heart, but still wanted to provide a better experience for her children. We were never beaten, but we were spanked (hands on the bottom). My mother would occasionally smack our mouths for cursing. We were treated with love. Now there are some things, like the beating and the eating soap when they cursed that my mother never did. She picked and chose the things she thought her parents did right and the things she thought they did wrong and tried to improve upon them.

    I think it really depends on the kind of situation parents grow up in as well as the parent themself. Some people are unable to escape the abuse they suffered as children; others are able to take their unpleasant childhoods and improve upon them for their own children.

    Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

  7. #7


    My dad is a Cuban and my mom is Italian, so that makes me Latino. Anyway, I have no clue how my mom was raised.

    But my dad spent his first Five years in Alaska, having hard times with three older siblings. He grew up in Cuba with strict parents. My Grandpa made my dad take up an instrument, but he was more laid-back. His mother was the strict one. She would spank all of her kids with a belt if they made her upset. Whatever kids didn't make the curfew would not get any dinner for that night and had to sleep on a hard floor. My dad had to share one queen-sized mattress with 10 other siblings. In his teen years, he had to cook for himself, he'd get a frying pan in the back if he did something wrong, and had to be in school every day or he would have to repeat an entire grade. If he wanted to buy anything for himself he had to get a job. He lived in poverty with communism.

    My dad moved to the States in his early 20's so he had to learn English. He met my mom in his mid 30's (She was almost half his age) and they had me.

    My mom was never around to raise me so I was left with my dad. He did spank me with a belt when I was bad until I turned 13. He tried to teach me Spanish but gave up after a few years because I wasn't interested. He almost gave up on potty training me but I got it way later than most kids. When I didn't have money as a kid, he would buy me video games and movies most of them were actually good). We would go on & off with cable so I could watch Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon. I had two brothers on my mom's side but I rarely get to see them. On my dad's side I'm an only child but he wasn't strict. Most of his anger came from alcohol abuse.

    Nowadays, he's more of a roommate than a parent. I'm 21 years old, I have a job, a decent amount of money rolling in, and all the games I could ever ask for. I'm also a home owner so when my dad dies I don't have to look for an apartment (thanks to him, anyways).

    In conclusion, my answer would be "yes!" Mostly it has a negative affect but it can receive positive results ending up the child becoming a better parent.

  8. #8


    My father was one of seven children of a combined German/American family (My grandmother came to the states in 1910 from Bavaria) based in Tampa, FL (after they moved from their ancestral farm in Albany, NY). They later moved to Colorado where my father went to High School and College at Colorado Boulder for a Major in Music. My Grandfather on my father's side served with distinction in the Medical Corps of the Army Air Corps (Later became the Air Force) and retired a Major after serving through WWII and part of Korea. My father was originally Roman Catholic and family life was rather stable. Money was a little tight because of the amount of children so they got simple Christmas presents every year.

    My mother's family is a somewhat different story. My Maternal Grandfather served on the USS Kimberly (DD-521) as a Fire-controlman 2nd Class for one of the 5 inch gun turrets (US Navy enlisted). His ship was one of the escorts to the USS Missouri on the road to Tokyo Bay after the Atomic Bomb was dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and had previously survived multiple Kamikaze attacks. Their side of the family had originally been from Holland and some parts of the UK (Scotland, Ireland and England) which settled in Colorado around the 1800s (their Dutch ancestors also helped dig the Moffat tunnel by providing a soup kitchen for the miners and workers). My Maternal Grandfather was traumatized by war and as a result often drank multiple six packs of beer and chain smoked packs of cigarettes a day until most of the family left the nest. My Maternal Grandmother was the peacekeeper between Mom's father and the children (also a large family of 5-7). They had some faith as a Presbyterian family and life in the house was in some chaos. The children were expected to do most of the work around the house while the father would likely be sitting at the black and white television set. Also the Father held weekend long fishing trips which were fun according to mom, but she didn't care for them. Mom grew up with a traditional outlook as a Housewife so her parents did not save any money for her college. She took a few semesters, but never finished. She tried to marry a high school sweetheart and she divorced soon after; discovering that the new husband was abusive and an addict to spending money.

    I was born with High-Functioning Autism so my parents were forced to take a fairly different approach than what their parents took with them. However, looking back on how my parents were raised, it wasn't completely different.

  9. #9


    My parents were both raised religious to some degree but it didn't really take for either of them so I was raised as not part of any religion.

  10. #10


    I've also seen people become parents and deliberately be the opposite of their crappy parents. We adopted our oldest son when he was 12. His biological father is my wife's brother. He divorced when our son was very young, and he was a terrible father. He would promise to pick him up on the weekend, to take him to a movie and do all these things, but he'd never show. The biological mother was a stupid welfare queen who never did anything positive for him.

    He did live with us from 12 on and I think we were good second parents to him. When he married and became a father, he became a wonderful father, one who has remained very much involved in his children's lives. He also is very successful.

    My mom was a strict German, and I was spanked often, sometimes very hard. She did love me and both of my parents made a lot of sacrifices so that I could go to college and become a professional musician. As a parent, I never or almost, never spanked our children.

    The next generation can learn from how they were raised and make improvements, especially if they are educated and want to do a better job.

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