went out today so so happy

i went out for the first time in months fully padded up, it was only to the shops but it made me feel more safe and happy then i have been in a while and reminded me why i love this

I know right. Even though I am a week or two away from being padded again (getting back into being a little is expensive - especially after my purge 2 years ago), I was daydreaming while out on my daily walk this morning of having a convert-ups and a size 6 Huggies diaper on me under my regular clothing and a bodysuit.
I have decided to get adult diapers first, because that's what fits me best and the fact that one convertups from the UK is 40 USD alone so in order to get a bulk amount of size 6 Huggies or even step down to Luvs I would have to spend at least 32 USD more for 104-112 diapers that would only take around two wettings before needing to be changed. At least Tranquility ATN briefs are more absorbent (3-4+ medium flow wettings) and can be easily modified (being plastic with 3M tapes) with a 1990s Huggies graphic landing zone (using clear packing tape) to make them look more babyish and less medical and generic.

I feel naked if I don't pad before leavin the house. Whenever I leave I feel as if I'm going to wet myself and I get anxious. So more for peace of mind I'm padded 24/7 cloth or disposable!

I've been wearing every day now since April and it finally feels normal. To the point that the very idea of regular underwear is what seems strange. It also feels like a lie. Like I'm being dishonest to myself, and secretly, to the rest of the world because I'm selling an image of myself that is not entirely accurate. Just wearing them daily makes me feel like me. And it feels good to be me.