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Thread: First Steps

  1. #1

    Default First Steps

    I know this might seem a little silly, but it's actually very important to me.

    For the past several years I've been something of a slave to my job, and have never had time to get away or actually live my own life. This is a "conservative" area, and I've had to play a role in order to get by since I am still physically male. If I'm not careful about acting more or less like a robot, people give me looks. -.- I hate it here.

    I've been invited out to Colorado by a very old friend of mine. She was my best friend in pre-school -- yes, PRE-SCHOOL -- and I haven't seen her since then. She's married now to a transwoman who I have also become good friends with. They're going to drive up to Wyoming for the total solar eclipse.

    The level of anxiety I have had to surmount just to make the plane reservations is not to be understated. I hate traveling, I hate crowds, and OMG I haven't seen this person since we were little kids. >.>;; But I am not missing this.

  2. #2

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    Sounds like a great opportunity to be yourself a bit more and have a good time. Good luck.

  3. #3

  4. #4

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    I also think it's a great opportunity. You'll meet some new people and probably see some of the country you haven't seen before. Crowds? They are all there to see the same thing you are. The eclipse won't last too long, at least not the total one. Colorado seems to be a pretty liberal state. I was there once. Good beer! I have never been to Wyoming but there is some beautiful scenery there. Get some eye protection before you go so you don't get gouged at the sites. Enjoy and let us know how it goes!

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    I know this might seem a little silly, but it's actually very important to me.

    For the past several years I've been something of a slave to my job, and have never had time to get away or actually live my own life. This is a "conservative" area, and I've had to play a role in order to get by since I am still physically male. If I'm not careful about acting more or less like a robot, people give me looks. -.- I hate it here.

    I've been invited out to Colorado by a very old friend of mine. She was my best friend in pre-school -- yes, PRE-SCHOOL -- and I haven't seen her since then. She's married now to a transwoman who I have also become good friends with. They're going to drive up to Wyoming for the total solar eclipse.

    The level of anxiety I have had to surmount just to make the plane reservations is not to be understated. I hate traveling, I hate crowds, and OMG I haven't seen this person since we were little kids. >.>;; But I am not missing this.
    Sapphyre,

    It seems the opposite of silly... I think that this is a good thing and that it will be a good time too! And not that it makes the issues go away yet, crowds are just a bunch of individuals in one place.
    I think that seeing your long ago friend and, new friend too, might be strange and wonderful!

    I come from a small conservative town myself though, I've lived in larger and quite culturally diversive places too... Being back in that small town; I think they've relaxed a bit and, are surprisingly friendly to me now too... my looks vary and though, I haven't gone out in a skirt or anything too flamboyant - it's obvious that I'm not typical. It's more difficult (I think) when you've rather established what an area means to you and then try to find your way through the juxtaposition especially without local support, there. And of course, there's an art and practice to becoming/being comfortable in your own skin yet, there's also a freedom and acceptance that seems to come from genuinely being you...

    Actually - we might be able to use Indra's Net in this too... what you project will be reflected back to you... I don't know...

    Anyway, may head into central to southern Oregon for the eclipse... we'll see. I was a grade-schooler for the last one...

    I'm really glad to see a nice event coming up for you!

    My sincere best for now,
    -Marka (now! With 2% less commas )
    Last edited by Marka; 18-Jul-2017 at 17:24. Reason: typo

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by Marka View Post
    Sapphyre,

    It seems the opposite of silly... I think that this is a good thing and that it will be a good time too! And not that it makes the issues go away yet, crowds are just a bunch of individuals in one place.
    I think that seeing your long ago friend and, new friend too, might be strange and wonderful!

    I come from a small conservative town myself though, I've lived in larger and quite culturally diversive places too... Being back in that small town; I think they've relaxed a bit and, are surprisingly friendly to me now too... my looks vary and though, I haven't gone out in a skirt or anything too flamboyant - it's obvious that I'm not typical. It's more difficult (I think) when you've rather established what an area means to you and then try to find your way through the juxtaposition especially without local support, there. And of course, there's an art and practice to becoming/being comfortable in your own skin yet, there's also a freedom and acceptance that seems to come from genuinely being you...

    Actually - we might be able to use Indra's Net in this too... what you project will be reflected back to you... I don't know...

    Anyway, may head into central to southern Oregon for the eclipse... we'll see. I was a grade-schooler for the last one...

    I'm really glad to see a nice event coming up for you!

    My sincere best for now,
    -Marka (now! With 2% less comas )
    I expect it will be a very interesting experience at least! Jamie's family moved away (to CO) while we were both still in pre-school, but she'd been my best friend before that. We reconnected in high school by internet. But you're very right that it will be the first chance I have to really just be myself; I doubt I'll get the hang of it right away but it's a start.

    I've never seen a total solar eclipse before. I was in grade school for the last partial eclipse and with the right lenses you could actually tell something was happening, but it was mostly a non-event. I'm allowing myself to expect a little bit more from this, but if nothing else I really want to see that part of the country and my friends.

    Also: what did you do, put a sticky-note on the comma key or something? Take care hon. ^.^

  7. #7

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by Maxx View Post
    Sounds like a very much needed 'outside the box' adventure.
    I'm hoping that's exactly what it turns out to be. It is, as you say, very much needed.

  9. #9

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    This sounds like a great opportunity to reconnect and to get a much needed break from work and location. I hate crowds and airports, but they're a necessary evil in order to see people we care about. I hope it turns out to be everything you want it to be.

  10. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by Sapphyre View Post
    [...]

    Also: what did you do, put a sticky-note on the comma key or something? Take care hon. ^.^
    Lol-No!... I put a sharp tack,(ouch!) pointy side up,(ouch!) on it! >_< Take care too,(ouch!) sweetie.

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