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Thread: Care Giver Crushes?

  1. #1

    Default Care Giver Crushes?

    So, I've been wondering if anyone here has ever met someone, like a teacher, counselor, ,a kind of doctor, or someone you just work with, and experience what I'm calling a "care giver crush"- just someone you really want to take care of you or even reassure you, or something to that extent. Not quite like a romantic/partner thing or anything sexual. you just crave for them to take care of you. Even if its only in your head or something you only want in theory.

    For me it sometimes happens when they just are consistently nice to me, caring, or overall patient. But of course, not always, and actually pretty rarely.

    Im sorry if I didn't quite explain this well.- please tell me your experiences- even if not that similar!
    Last edited by OriginalT; 4 Weeks Ago at 03:12.

  2. #2

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    From the subject line, I expected a different thread (attachment to platonic AB caretakers). What you describe can happen to anyone in an affectionate sense and I suppose it doesn't take much for one of us to add that additional or different layer onto it. I don't have any sense of desiring a caretaker or even really caretaking in the abstract. I now know it's nice with someone I care about but it's only a function of that relationship for me and not something I desire in and of itself. I haven't had this but I imagine you're not exactly alone.

  3. #3

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    I wanted my former best [online] friend (I later realized I had been in love with him, but anyway) to play that role, but he declined. He did say he was kind of like flattered that I would choose him for that though.

    Also I know a girl - long story - who used to kind of play mommy for me several years ago, and when we got into touch again I wanted to do it again but she said no. I guess I still kind of looked upon her as a maternal figure but I'm not really sure she still wants bothered with me anymore.

    At this point, however, I'm so desperate for babying I'd probably accept it from anyone I felt halfway comfortable with.

  4. #4

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    I try really hard not to think of actual real-life people this way, but I have had a few on fictional characters, heehee!

  5. #5

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    Having worked as a care provider I have experienced this on the other end, and it's very awkward.

    I provided care to adults with developmental disabilities, and it is very common for them to form platonic (and sometimes romantic) attractions to their caregivers. The thing is, even though the job can be quite intimate you are still a professional. You are there because you are being paid and the power dynamic is such that there have to be boundaries. Furthermore, we did everything in our power to help our clients form and maintain natural friendships and communities so they weren't completely dependent upon us for companionship.

    I recall having one client I really got along with. We were the same age, had similar interests, and if they weren't my client I totally would have had them over for D&D. But it just felt like that would have been blurring too many lines. Would a friendship breed favoritism? Can one have an equitable relationship in one context while being an authority figure in an other? If we have a falling out as friends how does that effect our working relationship? It's a level of ethical merkieness I would rather avoid.

    Despite all of that people do get attached, and it is really hard on them when we have to move on, be it because of funding changes, professional reasons, or (in my case) burnout.

  6. #6

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    I think I bad at this myself. After nearly three decades with limited to no affection, I tend to get crushes really easily. I've fell for a co-worker, my boss at another work place I was at. I almost started crushing on my doctor, but I caught it early enough stop it. My own thoughts on the subject is that since I'm so starved for love that my heart just wants to cling to anything or anyone who gives even the smallest amount of affection

  7. #7

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    Back in my Y-Camp days, I got along quite well with a handful (mind you, I said handful) of counselors. You see, some of them were much too hard for me to get along with.

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I think I bad at this myself. After nearly three decades with limited to no affection, I tend to get crushes really easily.[...] My own thoughts on the subject is that since I'm so starved for love that my heart just wants to cling to anything or anyone who gives even the smallest amount of affection
    I can relate to that!

    Up until a few years ago when I finally became more self-reliant (not so needy and clingy)... I pretty much had this affliction, ever since my childhood...

    It is very difficult when starved of love and affection... I also found counter-intuitively, that I had a difficult time expressing and receiving appropriate, healthy - actual, love and affection, too.

    The ways it affects perceptions and perspectives... really makes it a veritable mine-field.

    It also makes it worth one's time to really reflect and consider what it might really mean to love and be loved; to give and receive affection without the entrapment of obsession - and, that one doesn't either get too high or too low from it...

  9. #9

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    Great thread, a very interesting question. I hope to not high-jack the thread but wanted to spin the question around a little. Being a care giver I have been guilty of bay crushes. There are times when I have met people that I find adorable and have had fleeting visions of looking after them and being their mommy. There is one lovely young woman at work who is very small in stature but huge in cuteness. She has the sweetest giggle and always wear summery dresses and smiles a lot. The notions seem silly but I think I agree with Trevor that our kinks can overlay simple love interests very easily.

    There have been times when I meet others who are in the ABDL community at kink events that do not have an interest in having a mommy. Many I have imagined myself acting as carer but as they are not seeking this I have to enjoy the thoughts. What I find fascinating is the variety of dynamics that can exist within the community. I have met many ABDL folk who prefer to exclusively play with other littles instead of having a parent figure. Some want a mommy and a daddy or just one or the other. Some would like a big brother or sister dynamic which could be lead to many possibilities of role play.

    The wondrous world of ABDL, never fails to surprise me yet feel so familiar all at the same time. I look forward to hearing others stories on this question.

  10. #10

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    There are a handful of daddy types I crush on, but I don't know how to approach them. Given these crushes aren't vanilla and are actual people in the community. I'm incredibly shy in person despite my loud and boisterous persona online, so I kinda just try to keep it low key and humorous without any consistency.

    It sucks.

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