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Thread: Trying to find balance

  1. #1

    Default Trying to find balance

    Lately I've been struggling to not wear diapers. I have these moments where all I want is to wear a diaper. Thing is I'm afraid of being caught. I love wearing. I feel safe, calm, happy and de-stressed. I honestly have to fight off the feeling to wear a lot. I usually only wear on my day off or a just for little while after work. It helps, but I wish I could make this a more often thing.

  2. #2

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    By "caught" do you mean, by parents or by people you meet if you were to wear outside under normal clothing? I personally have had experience with both instances. Although I am currently fighting a very strong urge right now (after 2 years of not wearing) to wear again, I do realize your situation is similar to mine.

    So here's my take on the parental situation. If you are afraid of parents finding out, I find that using diapers with a cloth-like cover helps to reduce the rustling and keep it even more discreet than with a plastic backed diaper. If that is not an option, you will have to pre-wet your plastic-backed diapers (a medium wetting should suffice) to make the rustling less noticeable. I probably got away with this because I had 50-60 year old parents, but anyway. One of the best ways to change undetected is to run the tap in the bathroom and turn on the exhaust fan while the door is closed and locked. That way there is too much white noise for the ear to catch behind closed doors. Just in case they might detect you changing, you could always undo the tapes slowly to decrease the sound of the tapes - especially the 3M adhesive tapes found on plastic-backed diapers. You can wet yourself in the same room as your parents without being detected as long as you don't make a scene or make any moves that would be suspicious to a parent. I would advise, however, against a BM in the same room unless you have stocked up on iron vitamin pills to lessen the smell. If you do BM in other rooms however, you can tell your parents you are going to the bathroom and change there. One of the best ways to keep your used diapers from stinking up your bathroom is to not only elect to do the trash on trash day (My trash days were biweekly, but yours may be different), but also make your "diaper day" trash day. When it is time to do the trash, you take the used diapers you throw in your bathroom can and put it in the center of the other trash bags you collected around the house. This will act as a stench insulator for pee and especially an insulator against leftover BM that is still contained in the diaper after flushing most of the BM. Take the whole bundle to the central trash can (mine is the kitchen can), bundle it up, and put it in the main bag for takeout. Finally your bathroom can should be underneath the bathroom sink (in the cupboard) or covered with something to prevent or at least slow down the smell of dirty diapers from permeating the bathroom. If any nosy parent wants to sneak a peak at an open can that has your soiled diapers in it, be sure to put some used tissues above your used diapers so that they are completely covered up and disguised.

    While outside, Make sure you wear baggy clothing so to not attract attention to your diaper's bulge. If you want to be extra careful, you could put a solid color onezie on under your clothing to prevent sagging and preventing anyone from seeing your diaper as you bend over. Try to walk as normally as possible and focus on wearing diapers that are not very bulky or are meant for higher activity. You should take spare underwear/diapers depending if you want to change into another diaper or not. Do NOT BM without iron vitamin tablets unless you are within 2 minutes of a restroom as the smell from a BM will easily permeate a car or even an area around you while you walk. Be mindful of your diaper's capacity while outside and always remember to check when you have a chance to see if you need a change.

    Just my . Hope it helps!

  3. #3

    Default

    wonderfull advice !

    a onesie is one of the best ways to hide a diaper and cover up some of the diaper buldge

  4. #4

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    Self acceptance isn't as easy as some people make it out to be. Accepting your 'self' on an intellectual level isn't so hard. But can you truly say you have achieved self acceptance if you feel you have to hide a major aspect of yourself from the rest of the world? You are struggling with the conflict between your instinct for survival and the desire to be able to express the personality the gods have bestowed upon you. It ain't easy.

    Sorry for being philosophical rather than practical but that is one of my many faults. On the practical side I suggest trying to accept the situation you are in at the moment. You could get caught and the reality is that getting caught will likely introduce additional, serious misery into your life. Accept that and move on. Decide what you want to do and don't waste time second-guessing your decision. There will be consequences no matter what you decide. Don't immerse yourself in the misery of the consequences unless they actually happen, and even then realize that nothing is permanent. Life goes on. The misery will pass if you let it.

    I'm not saying be stupid. Use your best judgement. Then accept and move on.

  5. #5

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    Drifter has good advice. Part of being ABDL and accepting it is realizing we're sort of in a pickle here. Abstinence from it will drive you bonkers and isn't good for your mental health. But living as you really are when it's looked on by society as gross or something beyond weird is really hard sometimes. My main mental issues stem from an intense fear of rejection, ridicule, and abandonment. All of these things are made possible if my little secret lifestyle were to get out to the wrong people.
    But once again, what are you going to do? Gotta live your life, man!

    I'll say this much. Now that I just accept it, I find it weird and uncomfortable to wear "normal" adult underwear. It feels like a lie. It feels wrong. I only feel like me when I'm following my brain's commands to tape up!

  6. #6

    Default

    I went over three years wearing diapers right under my parents' noses, and when I confessed to my mom she hadn't had a clue and admitted I had done well hiding it. So it can done. I too try to use diapers as a form of fluffy anti-anxiety medication, and what I'm doing now is - pretty much wearing whenever the hell I want. There's no point in denying yourself a diaper when you really want a diaper (provided you can afford them). Just take steps to make yourself as discreet as possible. Yes, being caught is always a possibility, but you have to weigh the pros against the cons, and I think enjoying how diapers make you feel is worth it.

  7. #7

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    Damn straight, KimbaWolfNagihiko! I may come off like I've got it all figured out myself but I regularly struggle with fears and creepy feelings too. That's why I'm on this site. I get reinforcements that make me feel better about myself while giving the same to others that need it. I've gotten really good at doing and hiding this too (knock on wood) and I live my lifestyle in secret every day. I'd rather have the occasional fears than the constant irritating and annoying impulses that persist if I abstain from who I really am. Wearing diapers turns off that noise. Take it off, it comes back on. So I just stay in them and stay comfortable.

  8. #8

    Default

    Being in balance does not include ignoring who you are, or your normal desires. It honestly sounds like you should be wearing a diaper more often.

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