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Thread: Been thinking

  1. #1

    Default Been thinking

    I'm thinking about just giving up on being an adult. I honestly don't see any positives anymore. It's nothing more than fighting. You have to fight to get a job, to keep that job. You have to fight for a home, to protect that home. You have to fight your way to find someone special, and hope beyond hope they care you too. I feel like I fought enough already, so I'm ready to just give it in. Even with this decision made, I still have to fight to find a person or persons who would fulfill this wish. I figure even this won't come to be, so I'm not sure anymore about anything.

  2. #2

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    I know how you feel, just seems like everything is a competition. If you think about it though we've always competed for our chance in this world. Man discovered how to convert natural resources into new materials for tools and energy and eventually we rose up into what we have today. We're all just fighting to survive in a world that none of us asked to be born into.

    I still long to be a kid again!

  3. #3

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    I feel that struggle as well. Despite only being in College, the attraction to just go back to when times were simpler and choices were made for you while you played all day is one of the most unyielding feelings I have right now. To become secure and loved by the people who bore you and return to their embrace to be taken care of.

    To add to Pawlf's last statement:
    If there was a technology to keep me 2-3 years old forever with toddler speech. I would say to the developer, "shut-up and take my money!"

  4. #4

    Default If, you want something different - you'll have to do something, different!



    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I'm thinking about just giving up on being an adult. I honestly don't see any positives anymore. It's nothing more than fighting. You have to fight to get a job, to keep that job. You have to fight for a home, to protect that home. You have to fight your way to find someone special, and hope beyond hope they care you too. I feel like I fought enough already, so I'm ready to just give it in. Even with this decision made, I still have to fight to find a person or persons who would fulfill this wish. I figure even this won't come to be, so I'm not sure anymore about anything.
    Yeah, you could do that, I suppose...

    Or, you could do the work, to make your kindness, generosity, passion and, compassion... work for you - rather than continuing to allow it to work against yourself...

    In my estimation... it's only "fighting" because, you are not following your path... You seem to choose instead... to stay safe in your limited world instead of embracing the challenges (that we all face) and... allowing yourself to grow...

    You are basically, in a "Failure to Thrive" situation... You're staying in the womb and, refusing to be born though, this womb as any other - is only a temporary, one-time, place for preparation and initial development... and, you're no longer a fetus...

    It will almost entirely, always be, a challenge; from your first day to the last... yet, whether it remains these fights or, becomes rewarding and invigorating... Will depend entirely, on what you choose to do...

    However, you can't say "I want this" or, "I don't want that"; without regard for the true and practical considerations of what is required and, what must be moderated, to fairly persist in your desires... Not, if you truly need to be free of the ennui and, general contempt of yourself and others...

    You must prove in actions, what value that your life and life in general... is worth.

    It's commendable and necessary, to have and take reprieve yet, you can't possibly believe, that ignoring more of life - can or will somehow, make the problems go-away! Can you!?

    You have great sensitivity and great intellect yet, you seem to persist, in allowing fear and ignorance, to dictate your life...

    Will you do, as I did, up until, some nine years ago and; wait and struggle, another 13-years for yourself? If, you don't want, a meaningless life then, don't be meaningless, in life...

    Step-up, step-out and, get involved... live each moment!

    I would normally suggest, that you go seek professional-counseling, yada-yada... Yet, that horse, has been beat to oblivion, already...

    If, you want something different - you'll have to do something, different!

    My best and, for now,
    -Marka

    My thoughts and advice here are based on experience.
    Last edited by Marka; 10-Jul-2017 at 18:24.

  5. #5

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    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I'm thinking about just giving up on being an adult. I honestly don't see any positives anymore. It's nothing more than fighting. You have to fight to get a job, to keep that job. You have to fight for a home, to protect that home. You have to fight your way to find someone special, and hope beyond hope they care you too. I feel like I fought enough already, so I'm ready to just give it in. Even with this decision made, I still have to fight to find a person or persons who would fulfill this wish. I figure even this won't come to be, so I'm not sure anymore about anything.
    I'm in the same boat honestly. Life seems pretty meaningless. I don't know if I'll make it past 30.

    There is very little 'good' about being an adult IMHO.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by CharliePup View Post
    I'm in the same boat honestly. Life seems pretty meaningless. I don't know if I'll make it past 30.

    There is very little 'good' about being an adult IMHO.
    CharliePup! A blast from the past!

    Funny, in the ironic sense... For a number of years - I didn't think that I would make it past 30, either!

    I assure you, that you most likely will - plan accordingly!

    (I'll be 49, in just short of two months from now)

    I don't think, the real problem - is, being an adult...

    You each, are both, of life's unique gifts... how long are you going to keep pissing on that?

    I guess, to answer my own question... "as long as it takes"

    That's how long it took me, anyway...

    Yours,
    -Marka

  7. #7

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    Quote Originally Posted by CharliePup View Post
    I'm in the same boat honestly. Life seems pretty meaningless. I don't know if I'll make it past 30.

    There is very little 'good' about being an adult IMHO.
    To me, adulthood is mostly a pile of shit. There's maybe a couple things about it I like... but I'd probably trade them in a heartbeat if it meant being taken care of like a child and truly experiencing human warmth and kindness, instead of living in a state of deeply-rooted insecurity.

    At the moment I don't know what my life expectancy looks like, but that's because I'm possibly suffering from a disease that could kill me. I managed to take my therapist's advice and not think about it too much... But if the doctor confirms it, I guess I have to.

  8. #8

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    Well, been there done that with desiring to give up on "adult life," as I have been looking for a job for what feels like 2 forevers. Yet again I am still living at home w parents, which provides any encouragement needed to continue my job search until I find one, then hopefully have an oppertunity to move out sooner than later...

  9. #9

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    Life is what you make of it, sometimes we have to take ourselves out of our comfort zones to find happiness.

    Part of that is ensuring that we have at least a semblance of a plan to make that happen, and part of it is making sure that you have the resources to do so.

    I met a girl this past weekend who had graduated from college, bought an old school bus, fitted it out with a small bathroom, solar panels and a sink and had for the past year been traveling across the country. when she ran out of money she ended up stopping over down south for a couple months waitressing to pick up extra money. She recently sold her vehicle and is traveling to Asia to teach an English as a second language course.

    I have a hard time imagining that if she was unhappy, she would be willing to complain about her situation instead of fighting to make sure that she was happy with her life.

    for instance, when she had a broken down vehicle/home, with no money and no job, she did not let things defeat her. she tackled her problems by getting a job, maybe even two, saving her money and keeping her goals in sight. I am reminded of the tag on Moo's profile:

    "Don't lose your grip, on those dreams you had,
    You must fight, just to keep, them, alive."


    Cant think of any better advice.


    It's easy to tell yourself that you CANT, it's EASY to feel like there is no hope. In reality the truth is that if you want to change your life, you need to take chances and live for the moment. The truth of life, is that we are the catalysts in our own lives far more often then "life comes knocking" to offer us opportunities.

    If I recall the facts correctly, the OP, had reported on saving up a decent chunk of change to move and start a new life else where. I don't know exactly what the OP's plans are, since they are no longer referring to moving or saving up, however IF the OP is still saving up, I urge them to continue to have a goal and to not let fear or self-doubt stop them. The clock on our lives is always running, so don't wait to start your life.

    Before we consign ourselves to being stuck or giving up, try and add some variety in your weekly routines, have an adventure, even if its only for a couple hours.

    Being "Stuck" in life is a choice.
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 10-Jul-2017 at 14:05.

  10. #10

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    Hey, my friend,
    So here we are again, in those depths of despair when it seems like there's no point in trying anymore. These feelings come and go, we know that from experience, but unfortunately, you seem to be getting very little peace these days. To start, try and get in some time for the things that bring you happiness such as some Little time, your video games, or go see the new Spiderman movie (and send me a PM so we can chat about it!). This can help take your mind off what you're feeling but it's temporary. At some point you need to get to the root causes of what's causing you to feel this way, and that involves making decisions.

    You feel that there's no point in trying anymore and that you're tired of fighting. Look at your post and see how the same themes just repeat themselves.



    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    I'm thinking about just giving up.

    I honestly don't see any positives anymore.

    It's nothing more than fighting.

    You have to fight to get a job, to keep that job. You have to fight for a home.

    You have to fight your way to find someone special, and hope beyond hope they care you too.

    I feel like I fought enough already, so I'm ready to just give it in.

    Even with this decision made, I still have to fight to find a person or persons who would fulfill this wish. I figure even this won't come to be, so I'm not sure anymore about anything.
    We have been through this so many times, and we are so much alike, you and I, just at different stages in our lives. I told you long ago that I would always be here to remind you that you are a valuable, worthwhile person, that we have both experienced things early in our lives that have made it difficult to trust people and form relationships. We both came from homes with an abusive father who destroyed our sense of self-worth, we have felt trapped in meaningless jobs that were far beneath our full potential, we struggled to find where we could fit into this world. And we still struggle. We must never forget that we are survivors, and for that reason we are fighters.


    When I hear you feeling this depressed again, it's such a strong reminder of where I was in my life when I was your age. In addition to suffering from depression, I lost a partner to suicide and coped with it through alcoholism. There were days when I just wanted to end it. Every day, like you, I felt that I was fighting: fighting for a better life, fighting to be loved, fighting just to stay alive. I was at risk of being fired from my job because I didn't care about it, and in my private life I had become a hermit, isolating myself from people because I had been hurt by them so often, and turning to alcohol to escape from the world.

    For me to get through it, I had to reach the bottom. Like someone mentioned in an earlier post, I didn't expect to reach the age of thirty. I was thinking more and more of just ending my life. I remember sitting on the bus one morning on my way to work, facing another miserable day, when I thought to myself that I didn't really want to die, I just didn't want to live with all the pain I was feeling. I didn't want to just keep fighting to find a reason to stay alive, I wanted to live my life with passion. At that point I decided to reach out for professional help. It took time, but I learned to find meaning in my life, I learned that I had value, I eventually learned to trust again. Sometimes we have to reach the bottom before we we can find our way up.


    There's no doubt, KryanAshord, that your pain is real and that you are suffering from serious depression. I know how it can be difficult just to get out of bed in the morning and face another day when you feel that way. We cannot change our past, nor can we change how it impacts us today. What I can say, however is that you do have control over what you do with these feelings, whether it is getting help for depression, removing yourself from a toxic home environment, developing positive relationships, or, if you feel that you have already exhausted the options, then throw them out the window and start over somewhere else. If your mental health is at risk, then perhaps you need to take some risks to retain it.

    As I've said in the past, our lives won't change overnight. It's a matter of setting goals for yourself and breaking them down into small steps. Only you can define what those goals should be, but when you break them down into manageable steps, then it builds your confidence as you move forward. It can seem overwhelming when you're trying to change your entire life, but don't think of the destination, just focus on the path in front of you and the decisions you can make today. More than anything, you need to remember that you are the one in charge, you make the decisions, and the future is in your hands. If you feel that you simply can't find the energy to try, then that is a sign of depression, and perhaps the first decision could be to work on getting help for it, or it will remain an obstacle to your other goals.

    I know how hard it has been for you: the depression, the abuse, the exhaustion, the feeling of helplessness and how pointless it all seems. I know how it can all feel trivial and not worth the effort. I know how it feels to think you are undeserving. I understand that because I've been there. As someone who has suffered from depression, I know how the past can hold you back, but you have learn to recognize when this is happening and face it head-on. Be kind to yourself, don't beat yourself up over things that were beyond your control, and learn to love yourself. Identify small achievable goals and work on them. My hope is that you will find your way to a state of happiness. You deserve it, friend.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 10-Jul-2017 at 17:34.

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