Responsibilities. probably some rambling

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AngelofConfusion

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For the past several years of my life I've had this constant struggle. as each year passes I have more responsibilities. more stressful stuff. more things I choices to make. and I know I'm expected to rise to the challenge, get on with things etc.

But every time I think about the future, and all the new jobs and things I'll have to do, I just want to run away with my tail between my legs. I'm drawn to old things, memories of the past. life seemed so uncomplicated and stress-free back then.
Right now the main questions that I'm pondering is:
is this normal?, is it bad to want a simple life?
 
I can relate and I'm sure many others can relate. Added responsibilities is just another part of being an adult. I'm sure many here wear diapers as a way to escape from those responsibilities for a little while.
 
This so called "simple life" is nothing but a mirage that will disappear as we get older, All lives have complication.
 
I can relate, recently I've been having to make bigger and more important decisions. It's really stressful. I'm terrified of making wrong choices. I just want to go back in time to when I was younger and didn't have so much on my shoulders. But it's just part of growing as a person and progressing through life. And I know we'll all get through it. A lot of people use diapers and such to escape those responsibilities for a while and that's OK. Good luck
 
We all need some escape time from the stresses of jobs and life in general. For me as a musician, the only way I could advance and make more money was to take on bigger responsibilities. I went from being just an accompanist to accompanist/associate director. From there I became a music director and later, a minister of music/director, accompanist. In addition to that, I had 15 private students and I played in a band. I never got more than 6 hours of sleep until I retired from all but being a part time music director.

Growing up usually means growing professionally, taking on more responsibilities and we gain skills and abilities. If all goes well, you should also grow in confidence, and that makes handling the extra responsibilities easier, because you are in charge of much of it. Still, at the end of the day, it's nice to be little and diapered.
 
rennecfox said:
This so called "simple life" is nothing but a mirage that will disappear as we get older, All lives have complication.
I find your bluntness refreshing.
To be fair I had a terrible day when I wrote this post. I really don't like having to make decisions about stuff. I usually cock up. and learning from mistakes is rubbish because I just forget about it later. I do enjoy the benefits that come with being 22.
 
I know what you mean, I've had crap hair during my teenage years which only today I've fixed, it had affected my mental health and my confidence quite a bit as I felt ugly and wierd, but today I can look in the mirror as my hair problems can come to a end and I've had a stylish cut.

As I felt like that I wanted to back down and hide myself from the world, but now I'm willing to try anything and i actually want to see people now.

- - - Updated - - -

Btw rennecfox, we need more people like you saying what's on their mind instead of not saying anything and the problem carrying on for longer than it should.
 
ConfusionIncarnate said:
For the past several years of my life I've had this constant struggle. as each year passes I have more responsibilities. more stressful stuff. more things I choices to make. and I know I'm expected to rise to the challenge, get on with things etc.

But every time I think about the future, and all the new jobs and things I'll have to do, I just want to run away with my tail between my legs. I'm drawn to old things, memories of the past. life seemed so uncomplicated and stress-free back then.
Right now the main questions that I'm pondering is:
is this normal?, is it bad to want a simple life?

I hear you. I regularly time-travel back into my childhood memories and vacation there. No, I'm not talking about my toddlerhood memories of being in diapers (although I am blessed to have a few of those). I'm talking about the wide-open spaces of my (slightly) later years: The summer vacations, the playing with my friends in my old neighborhood, the sleepovers, the goofing off, the thinking only of what I wanted to do and not of what I had to do, ...

Time is funny. You can stretch it and squash it and do all sorts of things to it--in your head, anyway. I'm 41 years old, and most of my favorite childhood memories are from (cue tympani phrase from "Also Sprach Zarathustra") more than a quarter century ago!!! That can seem like quite a while, especially when I look at a baby picture of my nearly-teenage daughter. It's not a picture of the daughter I now know. I haven't had to relate to that baby version of her for nearly 13 years. Suddenly those 13 years seem very long, and my own childhood much more distant. Without that frame of reference, however--if I focus only on my own personal experiences--I can convince myself that the me I was when I graduated from college and the me I am right now are not so very different. Not much has happened. I just grew up, and then... this. Suddenly, my entire adulthood collapses in on itself while those growing-up years spread out into an eternity. Just how does that work?! (I wonder if Stephen Hawking has it figured out?)

I guess I'm easily amused.

And I digress. Majorly.

Responsibility is not all bad. Eventually, it's the only thing that can sustain the goofing off and all the other want-to-dos. Those ends justify at least some means, don't they? A healthy set of priorities is key, though. It took me most of 17 years and a high-stress career to find mine. It was a classic case of "boiling frog syndrome." Basically, I took what had been a hobby in childhood, earned a degree in it, got a job doing it, and then let that job slowly enslave me. The money was good, but my zest for life was depleted to the point where the money brought no pleasure. My hobbies all starved, and I found myself with little more than the threat of bills to get me out the door in the morning. Fortunately, I did eventually recognize that something was messed up, and I resolved to fix it. A couple of years ago, with my wife's help, I ratcheted things down quite a few notches, and am now working a job that manages to pay the bills, be a little fun, and also leave room for a life. It's not perfect, but it's a ginormous improvement. It'll definitely do for now.

Life is kind of like a playground. The end result is (hopefully) fun, but some assembly is required first.

Or you can just pitch a tent among the brambles and call 'er good.

Actually, forget that second option.
 
ConfusionIncarnate said:
For the past several years of my life I've had this constant struggle. as each year passes I have more responsibilities. more stressful stuff. more things I choices to make. and I know I'm expected to rise to the challenge, get on with things etc.

But every time I think about the future, and all the new jobs and things I'll have to do, I just want to run away with my tail between my legs. I'm drawn to old things, memories of the past. life seemed so uncomplicated and stress-free back then.
Right now the main questions that I'm pondering is:
is this normal?, is it bad to want a simple life?

A simple life is normal to want, especially in high stress environments. I have been pondering that question ever since I left high school and started college going for a degree in a field that I have a proficiency for and love to do (despite it being a potential boiling frog syndrome situation). I can tell you that regressing to simpler times may seem weird to you, however there are many others like you that feel the need to just shut themselves off from the world and become their past-selves. There are many secondary reasons why this could be done: Recovery from traumatic experiences, depression and anxiety management, recovering from a death of a family member and much more. The responsibility and stress from co-workers and your overall workload may get you down, however the sanctity of both thinking and acting out earlier times when you are free to do so may help you reconnect with your past and recharge. I personally recommend it as even one session of regression has been able to temporarily boost my confidence and improve my overall mood for 2-3 days afterward. If you do it nearly every day it can eventually recharge your emotional centers and help defeat depression.
 
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