Kapelmeister
Est. Contributor
- Messages
- 63
- Role
- Adult Baby
- Diaper Lover
- Little
Hi, I’m hoping you might help me gain some insight I’m not sure exactly where I fit in. Am I AB? DL? A Little? Something else?
First let me say that I’ve had at least a fascination with diapers and potty issues from a very early age. In fact when most little kids might be tempted to play doctor I actually wanted to play “baby.” I would actually call it that. I wasn’t interested in anyone’s anatomy. What I was interested in is to see if anyone else’s undies were as stained as mine always were. I wanted to know if they were wearing undies or training pants, plastic pants or jackpot diapers! Don’t remember if it ever got as far as someone taking down their pants. I doubt anyone did.
A little back ground might be helpful. As a boy I was both a chronic bed wetter and also soiled my pants. As I now know I was suffering from encopresis which caused the constant soiling. I wore diapers to bed (cloth with plastic pants) until my early teens when the bed wetting began to subside and finally stopped (although it has often come back off and on for the rest of my life). I can remember a few occasions being diapered for soiling my pants. I also received many enemas and suppositories for my soiling. My childhood was over shadowed by the shame I felt at being unable to control my bodily functions like other kids. I lived in absolute dread that someone would discover my soiled pants or bed wetting problem.
Probably around 12 years old I started to wet my pants in secret just because I liked it. I loved thunderstorms in the summer because I could go outside, pee my pants and not be found out.
My dad was an alcoholic, not a bad guy, never nasty but still drunk a lot. My mom was a crazy co-dependent, dominant and controlling. Since she needed to be in control I’m sure it drove her crazy that I couldn’t potty like other kids. Both my parents were kind of absent to me on an emotional level from my tweens on because of the drinking etc.
In my late teens I started to wet the bed again. This time I wasn’t all that upset by it because by this time I knew I was “into” it. This of was in the early 70’s and of course I felt great shame over the fact that I craved diapers and wetting etc. I started to give myself enemas for a while. Thought I was the only one.
Anyway, fast forward to now. I’m in my 60’s been married for over 30 years. My wife knows about what I’ll call my “special needs” but she doesn’t want anything to do with it. Although during my bouts with bed wetting over the years she didn’t complain much if I wore diapers to bed.
So, I know I’m a DL, cause I love diapers. I love being in a wet diaper more than almost anything. I’m in one now (Depends Real Fit Pull Up) not the best but what I can get into the house and wear discreetly right now. I’ve had years of abstaining from diapers until recently.
Now, I’d love to wear a onesie, would love some cartoon training pants, and some little boy clothing too. But of course that’s all out of the question because I don't think my wife would approve.
Fantasies include potty training, forced diapers for accidents, mild shaming for dirty pants or wet beds, spanking, enemas. Basically, I want to relive a lot of the things I hated as a kid.
I have the fantasies but I’m not sure how I’d feel if my wife actually decided to play. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t even know how to play if she wanted to.
Is it possible that I’m AB? Or am I a little? Or is there some other category that I might fall into. Is it possible to be one or the other depending on my state of mind?
What do you think? Thanks for any input.
First let me say that I’ve had at least a fascination with diapers and potty issues from a very early age. In fact when most little kids might be tempted to play doctor I actually wanted to play “baby.” I would actually call it that. I wasn’t interested in anyone’s anatomy. What I was interested in is to see if anyone else’s undies were as stained as mine always were. I wanted to know if they were wearing undies or training pants, plastic pants or jackpot diapers! Don’t remember if it ever got as far as someone taking down their pants. I doubt anyone did.
A little back ground might be helpful. As a boy I was both a chronic bed wetter and also soiled my pants. As I now know I was suffering from encopresis which caused the constant soiling. I wore diapers to bed (cloth with plastic pants) until my early teens when the bed wetting began to subside and finally stopped (although it has often come back off and on for the rest of my life). I can remember a few occasions being diapered for soiling my pants. I also received many enemas and suppositories for my soiling. My childhood was over shadowed by the shame I felt at being unable to control my bodily functions like other kids. I lived in absolute dread that someone would discover my soiled pants or bed wetting problem.
Probably around 12 years old I started to wet my pants in secret just because I liked it. I loved thunderstorms in the summer because I could go outside, pee my pants and not be found out.
My dad was an alcoholic, not a bad guy, never nasty but still drunk a lot. My mom was a crazy co-dependent, dominant and controlling. Since she needed to be in control I’m sure it drove her crazy that I couldn’t potty like other kids. Both my parents were kind of absent to me on an emotional level from my tweens on because of the drinking etc.
In my late teens I started to wet the bed again. This time I wasn’t all that upset by it because by this time I knew I was “into” it. This of was in the early 70’s and of course I felt great shame over the fact that I craved diapers and wetting etc. I started to give myself enemas for a while. Thought I was the only one.
Anyway, fast forward to now. I’m in my 60’s been married for over 30 years. My wife knows about what I’ll call my “special needs” but she doesn’t want anything to do with it. Although during my bouts with bed wetting over the years she didn’t complain much if I wore diapers to bed.
So, I know I’m a DL, cause I love diapers. I love being in a wet diaper more than almost anything. I’m in one now (Depends Real Fit Pull Up) not the best but what I can get into the house and wear discreetly right now. I’ve had years of abstaining from diapers until recently.
Now, I’d love to wear a onesie, would love some cartoon training pants, and some little boy clothing too. But of course that’s all out of the question because I don't think my wife would approve.
Fantasies include potty training, forced diapers for accidents, mild shaming for dirty pants or wet beds, spanking, enemas. Basically, I want to relive a lot of the things I hated as a kid.
I have the fantasies but I’m not sure how I’d feel if my wife actually decided to play. I’m pretty sure she wouldn’t even know how to play if she wanted to.
Is it possible that I’m AB? Or am I a little? Or is there some other category that I might fall into. Is it possible to be one or the other depending on my state of mind?
What do you think? Thanks for any input.
