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Thread: Crazy state

  1. #1

    Default Crazy state

    I'm depressed again. It's not so bad thanks to E3 taking away my attention. I'm depressed, anxious, Impatient, hate filled, and just straight chaotic. I don't want to talk to my mom, because I think I've bothered her enough lately. They're are moments I want diaper time, but now I'm down four diapers and can't find an opening to get more, plus I need more money to leave. I swear I need something to change soon. The whole A-B-C format is killing me.

    A. Wake up in a cubic room (7x7x6)I have to help my abusive father and stupid sister with their problems. They in turn forget about me.

    B. Work at a place I hate. Plus deal with people who can't be bothered to remember what I just told them, less than a week ago. (It's the same people week in week out and they still somehow forgot what I just told them.)

    C. Come home to a lonely home. I spent the remaining part of the day dreaming, hoping, and some times just wishing for an end. Thankfully during this time I RP partner and that helps me get some of the creativity out and let some of my fantasies.
    (Day off) D. Spent the time helping people with their problems. I've stopped in the last few months. I just can't do it anymore. Now I spend the time locked away so I can either diaper up or play a few games so I can get out of my reality.

    Sleep is where most of my pain goes away, and I keep want to just go back to sleep. I'm trying not to sleep so long, but it's not going so well.

  2. #2

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    Depression sucks, but accepting your situation and making goals is a good start to get ahead, also drinking plenty of water and getting lite exercise helps the body get back on track with energy levels and a regimented schedule.
    I fought on and off through my 20's with depression, I was a young male in great shape, with an excellent job and goals yet it seemed like it wasn't enough for me, I became isolated, felt like my head was in the sand, just cloudy in general. I was able to get over that hump with time and forcing myself to do good things, no matter how small they were.

  3. #3

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    you mentioned having saved 2000 dollars so far?, you may have edited that part out, so I may be replying to out dated info..

    I may be reasking something you have already answered but...


    I know that with a significant number of chain stores, store to store transfers for employees are possible, even across state lines.

    I also know that where I live, it is possible to get a 3 room+bath apt 1400, 700 for deposit, 700 for first month rent.

    so..I mean just going on those two things seems like your very close to your escape?

  4. #4

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    feeling like this sucks big time ( i know what i'm talking about, you could consider cloth diapers if you can wash clothing in private,
    it's more expensive to start with and you need pvc pants, but you never can ran out of diapers !

  5. #5

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    The thing is I don't want to do this work anymore. I believe a well trained monkey could do my job. I want a job with some purpose.

    As for the diapers, we all share one laundry room and my sister tends to toss my stuff out in favor of her own, so I wouldn't risk it. Plus I don't find them very comfortable. The padding these a bit harder than I would like. At least on the ones I tried.

  6. #6

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    Hi, KryanAshford,
    I think there are two problems that are preventing you from moving forward: depression and fear.

    The first problem is that you have to have a clear plan on how to move forward and there are a lot of things you need to consider. The work is getting you down, you're living with an abusive father, you're pretty bored with the routine, and you want a relationship. The inability to move forward causes anger and depression. That's understandable.

    We've had these discussions many times throughout the years, you and I, yet the plans always seem to get grounded. I have no doubt that a good part of the reason for that is related to depression. I think perhaps you may be overwhelmed on taking the steps to get ahead. It's understandable to be afraid if you don't know how to budget, or where to look for employmemt or housing, or how to plan a move. When it gets to be too much of a challenge, then you can feel defeated and trapped in your present circumstances which leads to the depression increasing exponentially. It's quite possible that you're trying to sleep more so that you can avoid the reality.

    Again, I'll go back to what we've talked about in the past: Small steps. Just do the things that you know you can do today. Believe it or not, you have already made some progress by getting some money saved up and not spending it on things you don't need (that doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself occassionally to things you enjoy like a movie or diapers). You're doing really well in saving money with a limited income. The foundation for getting out of your present situation is still about finances. So keep saving. You're doing well in that area. You're going to need a first and last month's rent deposit, moving costs, furniture, etc. All of that will come under budgeting and learning how to manage finances. We can help you with that, but for now, just try and save as much money as you can. The more you are able to save, the easier it will be to move out.

    You also previously identified the most important things you need to have a decent standard of living:

    1- An area with good employment prospects
    2- Affordable rents
    3- A safe area
    4- A place with a good quality of life (and maybe some nightlife).

    These are all sensible and reasonable things to want in your living environment. One of the most important decisions you need to make is whether you can find it in your current location or whether you need to move to an area with a better quality of life. In the past we were looking into places like Oklahoma City, Omaha, and Des Moines becuase of the employment opportunities, rents, and overall cost of living. There may be other areas we can consider.

    Kryan, I think part of the reason you may be sleeping so much is because you're simply scared and overwhelmed by your situation. There's a lot of decisions that have to be made and this can be terrifying when you haven't lived on your own, away from family and friends. Keep in mind there are people here, and people like your mom who want to help you with this. It's tough because you haven't done any of this stuff before but remember we can help you through it along the way. You just need to get your finances together and start making decisions on what you want to do and where you want to go. It may be scary, but you have people who are supporting you, and being a little scared now can lead to a lifetime of happiness down the road. And that's certainly preferable to living in continued misery and depression.

    There's hope ahead, my friend. You just need to choose it. We're with you.

  7. #7

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    What seems like a reasonable amount of cash to move out on. No one ever seems give me a clear answer to this

  8. #8

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    I understand that, although moving into your own place would certainly give you some room to spread your wings a bit hey?

    I'm just saying if you do have close to 2k saved up or more, its pretty reasonable to be able to move out SOON.

    and then focus on what you want to do in regards to a job you dont enjoy, with the personal space to ensure a clear mind?

    I realize that your unhappy, but there are a lot of people on adisc who are having trouble getting a job and saving up the money..your already several steps along, and very close to being able to move out

    -------------------------------------

    edited, disregard anything above not useful, did not see further forum posts before I responded.

    ------------------------

    depending on where you live, a reasonable amount varies. I expect texas to be cheaper then where I live in NH

    FOR ME

    a reasonable amount is being able to cover:

    deposit for rent

    1st months rent

    2nd months rent

    All bills for 2 months

    +500 for food.

    Having a job lined up from a store to store transfer, if you decide to go that way, you may get away with only 1st months rent, deposit, all bills for 1 month, +500 food.
    Last edited by MommyandMattling; 13-Jun-2017 at 17:03.

  9. #9

    Default



    Quote Originally Posted by KryanAshford View Post
    What seems like a reasonable amount of cash to move out on. No one ever seems give me a clear answer to this
    This is an excellent question, friend. It's hard to give you a precise answer because it comes down to a number of variables. First of all, the more money you can save, the easier it will be!!!!! So keep saving. You're doing great.

    The amount of money you need for a rent deposit depends on they type of housing accommodation you can afford. Depending on where you live, a bachelor apartment can cost between $400 up to $900. If you were to consider a room in a private home or shared accommodation, you could be looking at around $250 to $600.

    The cost of rent can vary greatly depending on whether you live in an urban core or suburban or rural areas. This is why we were looking at the overall quality of life in different areas. You don't want to pay a cheap rent if it means you're living in an area with high unemployment. Conversely, it can be very difficult to get established in an area where there are better prospects of employment, but they may also have unaffordable rents, low vacancy rates and a higher cost of living. We need to find the happy medium. Generally, it's advisable to spend no more than 30% of your income on rent, however, this is not set in stone, and a number of people on limited income do pay more by cutting costs as much as possible.

    Apartments will have number of requirements in addition to the rent. Most of them ask for a first and last month's rent deposit. In addition utilities may be included in the lease or it may be your responsibility to pay for them. So for your own apartment, you will need to consider and budget for things like:

    -Moving costs
    -Furniture
    -Linens
    -First and last month's rent
    -Utility connections
    -Internet
    -Parking
    -Phone connections


    The other things you will have to consider are things like

    -Food
    -Personal needs
    -Car payments and insurance
    -Entertainment
    -Emergency funds

    You'll need to have some basics to bring with you, such as a bed, dresser, alarm clock, shower curtain, pots, frying pans, plates, utensils, etc. And a coffee machine! A coffeee machine is the most important thing to have in any household!!!

    Moving costs will vary greatly depending on your decision. If you choose to stay in your current area, you could just hire a few people with a truck, which would probably cost about $70 to $80 dollars an hour. If you are moving out of town it would be considerably more expensive. It's always best to do a search on movers to compare costs.


    So these are some examples of the most basic things you will need to factor into your move. You may need to refine your goals in order for anyone to give you actual numbers, such as the type of housing accommodation you are looking for and the average cost of the rents in the area. You may want to check out some real estate websites for rental properties to get an idea of availability and costs.


    The other thing to understand is that you can have both short term and long term goals. For example, if you cannot afford your own apartment because of a limited income, then you could consider renting a room in a shared accommodation just to get yourself started. This would be a short term goal that would remove you from a home with an abusive father and give you some independence. It would also allow for you to continue saving more money for a move to your own apartment down the road. At the very least, it would give you some breathing space to decide what you want to do and where you want to be. You could check out a local YMCA since many of them have affordable monthly rates and may be able to assist you in your housing search.


    If you have any questions, just ask, we want to help. It's a lot to think about but don't let it overwhelm you.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 13-Jun-2017 at 18:12.

  10. #10

    Default

    The "where" in where you live has a tremendous amount to do with costs. Rents are lower in depressed areas, high in areas where there are a lot of jobs and high wages...people bid up the costs. Utilities can vary considerably depending where you are. I was astounded at what LittleJess pays for electricity in Oz. Close to `10x what I do.

    $1,000,000 buys you a damn fine house where I live. In San Francisco, it won't get you a shack. In some places, it would buy an entire county.

    Edit: I agree that 2 months total expenses in hand would be a good rule of thumb, assuming you have a job already lined up wherever you're going. You might be able to do with less, but some luck would be involved. In any endeavor like this, things never go quite as planned. When I moved out, it was due to my parents having a house fire. At that moment, I had a new van, and whatever clothing and furniture was stashed in the van. I had given notice on my old job, had a new one sort of lined up. Moved into the new place with a bean bag chair and a black and white TV. Period. Then I spun out my van on an icey road, totalled it. So there were a couple interesting weeks in the coldest part of January hitchhiking to the old job, negotiating the new one from random phone booths, insurance, getting a new vehicle, convincing the new employer that I wasn't really homeless....
    Last edited by Maxx; 13-Jun-2017 at 18:24.

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