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Thread: Problems with the LGBT community

  1. #1

    Exclamation Problems with the LGBT community

    (Prepare for shit storm)

    Alright so firstly, I'm gay but I also despise the LGBT community (if you could even call it that)

    I know that this is a touchy subject but the main reason I don't like the "community" any more is because (other than diverging politics) is that they're really cringy in my opinion. I'm all for being "proud" or whatever but many have a habbit of flawnting it like a special status. NEWS FLASH no one cares and those that do care are jerks and guess what! Dealing with assholes and not going postal is apart of adulting.

    Alright so I know that was really heated and probably narrow as fuck but I'm just so sick of the overall community feeling like they speak for everyone... they don't.

    BUT THE THING IS, NO ONE SPEAKS UP BECAUSE THE "COMMUNITY" WILL DEMONIZE YOU IF YOU DIVERGE AT ALL FROM THEIR BLANKET NARRATIVE. The LGBT community contains some of the most hypocritical and discriminatory people I have ever met.

    -Addition-

    I also hate the perpetuation of gay stereotypes which I think the community does a great job keeping alive.
    Last edited by HogansHeroes; 11-Jun-2017 at 21:00. Reason: toning down the title

  2. #2

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    Wow, that's quite a shit storm, as you said. I read your reasons about why you hate the 'community' but I still don't understand what specifically is making you angry. Perhaps some examples might clarify why you feel this way?

    As a gay person myself, I think there is a definite sense of community by the fact that we support each other and have been through a history of discrimination, violence and hatred together. We were united, as we needed to be, to gain acceptance and equal rights in the workplace, in housing, accessing services, and eventually winning the long battle for same sex marriages through the courts. We stood proud through those battles and we remain proud.

    I was gay at a time when it was legal to discriminate against homosexuals in the workplace. We lived in hiding. I lived in secret with my partner who eventually committed suicide, being unable to cope with the stress of living in a secretive, closeted environment. I grieved alone because no one knew how special he was to me. I kept my mouth shut when my co-workers made fun of men who were dying from the 'gay cancer' as AIDS was called when it was first discovered. I lived in fear of being discovered and suffered from depression and loneliness. Many in my age group had similar lives and experiences.

    Certainly the times we live in are different today. Gay marriages were legalized here a dozen years ago and the small minority of people opposed to it have given up the battle of trying to have it banned. We are more accepted in society and protected from discrimination. Sex education classes now incorporate homosexuality into their curriculum without moral judgements against it. In my area, gays and lesbians can walk the street hand in hand without anyone noticing or caring. That's how it should be.

    Although living a gay a life may be more 'mainstream' than it was when I was younger, there is still so much work to do. Although the laws and attitudes have changed significantly, there are still the nuances in our society that deserve our scrutiny. For example, even though there is more acceptence, there is a disproportionate number of gay youth who suffer from depression and are at a greater risk of suicide. Studies of homelessness have all shown that LGBT youth are at higher risk of homelessness, primarily for being thrown out of their homes by homophobic parents. In schools, more gay youth continue to be bullied and harassed by their peers than straight kids.Lesbian women of colour still earn less money then their hetersexual, white counterparts. And while the battle for marriage has been won, many gay and lesbian couples continue to face discrimination when they choose adoption of children. We've come a long way, yet there is still so much more that needs to be done, and if we are to continue our successes, we must stand together... as a community.

    As a gay person, I can only be appalled at the continued mistreatment of the transgender population, with all the malicious disrespect and lack of understanding targeted towards them, referring to it as a 'choice' or a mental health problem, the same terminology that was previously used in describing gay and lesbian behaviour. We see redneck legislators introducing legislation to prohibit transgenders from using washrooms of the sex with which they identify, with the outcome being that they will continue to be at greater risk of violence in public washrooms. Is it any wonder that the transgender population experiences a 40% rate of suicide or attempted suicide? As a communty, their health and safety is an important issue that belongs to all of us.

    You've indicated that you are upset with people 'flaunting' their sexual orientation. I think this can be a result of seeing gays and lesbians being visible in public, much the same way heterosexuality has always been visible every day in our society. As we were fighting for our rights to marry, we often had to walk by churches having another loud proclamation of a heterosexual marriage, followed by a procession which basically flaunted their legal right to a life that was denied to us. If gays and lesbians kissed or held hands on the street, they were accused of flaunting it, while heterosexuals did it every day.

    The community itself is as diverse as the general population, some of whom are politically active, some simply celebrating their sexuality in an accepting climate, and some who are just families living their lives like everyone else. We work, play, pay the mortgage, take care of each other when we are sick, and try to make our world a better community together. For myself, I see great diversity in the LGBT population, having gay friends who own businesses, people of religious faiths, and friends who vote on all sides of the political spectrum: Pretty much the same thing as you would find in the heterosexual population.
    Last edited by Starrunner; 11-Jun-2017 at 17:29.

  3. #3

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    There are some really annoying people in the heterosexual community too.

  4. #4

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    I think I know what he means. He hates people speaking up for him like some blacks hate when Al Sharpton says publicly that he knows what every black man and woman wants. Yes there are some and I know such a man who is black and proud of who he is who loathes when Sharpton and Jesse Jackson speak on his behalf.

    Just like I know an Indian, who hated the whole thing about the Washington Redskins' name ordeal, as he was saying as a native American he had no issue with that particular name. He even posted on FB for many to SFU as the ones who said it was offensive were the know it all Left is speaking on behalf of every Indian that ever lived!

    I too have some quarrels with some of the LGBT community too like the marriage thing especially when the churches have to go along with what they believe is morally wrong. Now I am not against unions and such for all, but the fact is that the churches have it written in doctrine in a book that was accepted for centuries as a guide for morality. The church is basically saying you can do what you want but don't make us part of it! In the Catholic Church they consider it to be sacred and a Sacrament and they for fear of Jesus, did not want to alter its meaning! Its not like they said you cannot do it outside the church in city hall, although they protest legislation which is true to be, but they would be hypocrits if they did not do that too.

    Speaking of the Church, I hate it to when groups like the Clan and Westboro Baptist Church say they speak for all Christians when they don't either! So I believe the OP here is talking about that line of thinking. First of all Christians are supposed to be practicing love and turning the other cheek, not promoting hate and claiming God hates the LGBT. God loves all and is written in the four Gospels! He will hold a person committing a hate crime against sinners responsible for their eternal state and not give them sainthood! We as Christians are to live in peace and use diplomacy as Jesus himself would not act like the far Right religious groups do with hate speech if he were confronted with a gay or lesbian person! I believe in love for all and yes I have thought about gay relationships and to me personally I feel the need that if I met a guy who I found was right I would not need to marry him as it would be irrelevant as already two guys could live together without any hesitation and bond without getting a blessing from a sheet of paper or an act that is from the spirit!

    Respect is the key! You don't believe in someone else's ways, just let them go as if you want them to respect you at the same time. We all want others to not agree with us always and if they don't we want them to accept it. So why cannot some do that with religion and political beliefs! Remember also what you think is the majority may not be thought of by others and what they think is the majority you may think is minority.

    Bottom line, I do not hate gays and yes I am questionable about my own sexuality and have found guys to be cool to be with, but some of those with media attention should not be saying that they know what I want, just like those in the Church do not know what I want either. In fact I hated Obama for that way of thinking. He said I wanted his healthcare! No I wanted healthcare and of course not to be forced by law to take it or having companies reduce hours of work to avoid offering it, which Obama knew that putting a 30 hour or more stipulation would be making companies like Darden cut hours for employees. Anyway, not to debate that as Obama is out and his healthcare is here as IMO Trump will not get rid of it!

  5. #5

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    Sometimes, Starrunner, you make me blush. I read your response and was pretty much blown away by it. I tend to filter LGBT comments, as I suppose most of us do, through my own life, but when you spoke about your life, living through the horrible days when gays had no rights anywhere and AIDS was destroying everyone, losing your lover and not being able to grieve, etc.: well, my own life, with the inner pain of closeted transsexualism contained within a successful teaching career and a long marriage with three children until all collapsed on itself and I transitioned...and then I still managed to come out OK, seems so much simpler. I had a best friend in elementary school with whom I lost touch for a million years later on. His name was Michael. I sort of thought he was gay back then, but I didn't really know what that meant. Anyway, he was, and through the miracle of facebook I was able to get in touch with him decades later. He too lived through all of what you describe and is living with HIV today. The struggle to get where we are individually, where we are as a community, has been real and powerful. And it has had its cost in lives and souls.

    Thank you for your thoughts about the transgender branch of LGBT+. (I have long been in favor of replacing that ever-expanding alphabet soup with the simpler and all-inclusive GSD--Gender and Sexually Diverse.) It is true that we are today's target of choice for those in power to aim the same weapons that, in the past they've aimed at blacks and at gays. Eventually, in the long run, the ammunition in those weapons will prove equally ineffective and we will win as blacks and gays have, but likely not before similar damage is done. (Consider that with blacks and gays the residual damage continues to go on and on though the battle is, for all intents and purposes, over.) Haters must always have someone to hate. I wonder who will be next.

    You know what I hate? Threads with intentionally incendiary titles. Come on, LordFluffyButz: you don't diffuse a title like that by saying oh, by the way, I'm gay too in the first line of your post. You wrote it to incite trouble, to create a "shit storm." Why? As Starrunner noted, you didn't even state specifically what aspects of the community you dislike. "Flaunting"? Are you referring to pride parades? The revival of "Will and Grace"? What? And what is this "blanket narrative" that one must speak to, anyway? I for one have never received my memo on that. And while I do agree that our community has some discriminatory and narrow-minded people (have you ever spoken with TERFs?), to say that they are among the worst is to deny reality. And to do so without any evidence or specificity is to invite not argument but derision.

    Maybe you have something real to say here. If so, then say it. But what you have posted reads like a thing hastily written in anger and sent without much reflection.

  6. #6

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    I know how you feel. I hate the fact that 1 or 2 people in the Senate can make it seem like it reflects on all people of a state's opinion which in fact, it doesn't.

    This same issues lie in the ABDL world as well. Like when some people talk about messing and you have the others who flat out leave their disapproval, and tell them how disgusting they are for it.

    As for me, I'm not gay or anything, but I have a respect for LGBT people and certain laws. It seems to me that some of the events going on recently just get saltier and saltier. It's just like the BLM charade to a certain extent. If you don't 100% agree with the leader of said group, then you're an enemy. They turn a blind eye and would leave you for dead.

    Then you have the media who throws the issues out there in a extreme way, and try to make tensions worst for no reason. Make one event involving 2 people in the entire country with a population of 330 million other people the biggest deal out there. One supposed hate crime or some types of denial of a certain way to be allowed to live amongst people criminalizes an entire group of people just because of an area they live, color of skin, sexual identity, political affiliation, or ect.

    I'm also sick of this crap myself.

    Sent from my SM-G955U using Tapatalk

  7. #7

    Default Is this what you do not like?

    I will respond to your hate of my community with simple love. Peace, not hate.

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  8. #8

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    I'm skeptical of the word 'community' in nearly all of its current forms and usages. (I know there's a better word, I was searching for it, but I'm old and and toast from my long ride in the heat a bit ago. It'll come to me long after it's relevant).

    Is the there really a black 'community' saying this that and the other thing? Or is it media moths and talking heads presuming to speak for all people with dark tans and african ancestors way back in the family tree?

    Is there really an LGBT 'community', or perhaps a few loudmouth rabble rousers and the drive-by media playing at being all sympathetic and tolerant about 'diversity' and claiming to speak for all those people who would just as soon live their lives under the radar?

    I'm theoretically a part of a number of modern day 'victim communities', yet don't agree with a lot of what the spokespersons and media seem to think I should want...

  9. #9

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    Quote Originally Posted by kerry View Post
    You know what I hate? Threads with intentionally incendiary titles.
    *aims a fire extinguisher at the title*

    Title is now a bit less inflammatory.



    Quote Originally Posted by LordFluffybuttz
    Alright so firstly, I'm gay but I also despise the LGBT community (if you could even call it that)
    Both starrunner and kerry raise some good points in their replies. If you have some issues with the LGBT community that you want to discuss, then name those issues so that they can be discussed. What you posted, though, reads like a rant rather than a discussion for mature topics.

    Should you wish to discuss this topic further, please frame it as a discussion instead of a rant. You mentioned in passing diverging politics - surely there's something that you could expand upon instead?



    Quote Originally Posted by kerry View Post
    But what you have posted reads like a thing hastily written in anger and sent without much reflection.
    Agreed. Closing this before it turns into a 10 page pile of rule violations.

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