want to mess but I'm nervous

I was sitting around tonight in my diaper and I got the urge that big had to make a BM. I thought about messing my diaper, but decided not to because I got nervous.

For those of you who mess your diaper how did you get over the initial shock of it happening? And what made you decide to mess your diaper?

I want to but as I said I'm nervous to.

Should I just let it happen? Or should I mentally prepare myself for it?
I'm open to any and all suggestions.

I'm not nervous about having poop on me but nervous about clean up and disposal of the soiled diaper.

When you don't have a choice in the matter sometimes, its alot easier to do. That said if you are nervous to do it because your around others, you should be.

Okay thank you. Puts my mind at ease a bit

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Though I enjoy wetting that's for sure. Maybe I'll experiment with messing tomorrow. I'll have the house to my self.

Shorty after I posted this I messed my diaper. I'll say it was different than wetting for sure. Not as bad as I thought it would be.
Good thing I have a diaper on, my stools are loose.